Woke up wanting one

[Brioski]

Hey guys, good morning  

I woke up today wanting a cig, more than the other days, although I really haven’t had *bad cravings*, seems like more triggers are coming out.  I guess the longer I go not smoking, the more my mind’s trying to mess w me like “ok, ha did good kid, now let’s celebrate w a smoke” lol wackadoo.  I know this isn’t an sos but I think I “romance” the cig….and after I read that great post yest on romancing the cig .  I also have been putting off some types of  housework bc of fear of what’ll I do in between. I can do dishes, laundry no problem but the toilets, mopping….those are “bigger” jobs in my head. Idk. Anyone else get bigger pangs after the first week? 

[DenaliBlues]

Good morning, @Brioski. You betcha - strong urges persisted for me for a long time. It’s the nature of addiction, because smoking was so ingrained in our emotional lives and daily rhythms. So the big cravings are not surprising… but they are flipping aggravating!

 

It helps me to remember that I have the quitting skills to dismiss those urges. They may bug the bejeezus outa me - but they don’t own me! Smack em aside and go about the business of living your free life! 

 

 

[Gus]

Ditto on everything Denali said. I would just add that there is nothing romantic about killing ourselves in one of the slowest and smelliest ways possible. The same tools that got you through the first week will see you through your first month and so on! In between each task replace that smoke break with loud music and a silly dance, a short brisk walk, anything that engages your mind and body! It only takes a few minutes to beat back that Nicodemon! And that gets easier too. Just stay busy and stay close and please if needed.

[overcome]

Double ditto to both posts above, stay strong you can do it!

[Doreensfree]

Yep ....but kept telling myself i was stronger than a thought ..

The oldies and wiser kept telling it WILL get better ..guess what  it did 

One day i had my lightbulb moment...it all made sense..

Stay strong

[jillar]

3 hours ago, Brioski said:

  I guess the longer I go not smoking, the more my mind’s trying to mess w me like “ok, ha did good kid, now let’s celebrate w a smoke” 

^^This @Brioski ^^  and don't worry about those bigger jobs right now, they'll be there another day when you're feeling more secure in your quit. Mine was invisible so I never had to forget where I left it lol. You could ask one of your non-smoking friends or family to hang with you while you get those chores done to hold you accountable.

 

[Paul723]

The faster you dismiss those thoughts the less they'll bother you.  I would tell myself, "smoking is not an option, move on."

[Brioski]

On and off wanting one most of the day…not even one, I want like a lot, give me the whole pack lol.  My garage where I used to smoke smells like semi good to me (my dryer’s in the garage so once in a while I go in there).  Ugh.  Trying to let the cravings come ahead and not try and ignore, they say to do that, no?  But also telling myself how I do not want to go back to the slavery, the difficulty breathing, I want to live smoke free and also for a potential baby in the future etc. I’m trying I really am.  Why is it harder some days and some days easier-ish? I don’t want to give in to these addictive thoughts, the junkie thoughts.  I know that’s what they are but then the devil on the other shoulder is telling me how good it’ll be.  I hate this!

[DenaliBlues]

The addiction is deeply embedded into our brains, so it takes a while to rewire everything. The voice that says smoking feels good or is satisfying or is your friend is a big liar. That’s your junkie brain trying to slip your handcuffs back on. 
 

The TRUTH is that smoking is toxic and stinky, will give you a headache, will constrict your breathing and spike your heart rate and and will probably trigger feelings of failure. Take pride in your hard work and protect your quit!

 

During the tough days, I found it helpful to shift my mental focus to something (just about anything) else. 100 times an hour if needed. Otherwise, if I focused on the cravings it gave them more power and evoked a lot of feelings of sadness and loss - which I didn’t need on top of all the other struggles that come with quitting. Distracting myself became kind of a constant creative exercise. 

You are doing the right thing to come here snd talk things through. You’re making headway. 

[darcy]

Brioski,

Glad your here and sharing the path.

Read and reread johnny5's tag lines.

Read and reread the pre post to yourself s.o.s. thread.

Read all the funny past postings.

Being free and remaining free ..... 

I believe in you. 

[Brioski]

I’m literally screaming, crying.  It’s too much, I don’t even know what “it” is.  I was cleaning my bathroom, came out and my puppy peed on the floor, tracked it all over clean floors, jumped on the clean couch, and I lost it. I feel bad I screamed at her.  I feel so frustrated and sad.  And also hyperventilating/short of breath idk from anxiety I guess.  I want off this ride, I know having one or a million cigs won’t help anything but I feel like it will. Help

[Jordan7]

The second week can be one of the hardest.  Some of the novelty has worn off but the cravings are still fresh.  The early days can feel endless, but you'll get through them.  Tell your puppy she's a good girl (just doing normal bad puppy things) and take her for a walk or just hang out with her outside for a while.  My dog was often the only person I wanted to talk to on the bad days so she may end up being your savior (once she learns to pee outside.)   You can do this, Brioski!

 

 

Edited March 3, 2023 by Jordan7

[Brioski]

Thank you Jordan…I do feel a bit better aside from this stupid anxiety. I apologized and loved on her, the way she’s looking at me is like “ma, wtf u ok?” But she’s cuddling rn w me so I guess she’s not too mad at me.  I really try to be patient w her and most times I am, this one got to me.  I took her on the deck outside, she went crazy.  Came back in and finished the toilets, washed my hands and now just hanging on the couch till I catch my breath and I calm down a bit.   Then maybe a walk w her up and down my long driveway.  
sorry guys I just needed to vent. And the thought of not having a cig after all that bs was the tipping point. 

[jillar]

@Brioski, glad you're feeling better. Venting is a great way to get through a bad crave because it keeps your mind focused on what you're writing and not on the crave.

 

[overcome]

[DenaliBlues]

Sorry you are having a hard time, @Brioski. My fuse got shorter, my nerves felt frayed, and my emotions felt super raw for a while. When I felt like I was losing it (or about to clobber someone) I would shake my arms and legs really, really hard. That and do wall/countertop pushups. So many pushups…

 

Hang in there. You can make it through this. 

Edited March 3, 2023 by DenaliBlues

[Brioski]

Ty guys for your replies.  Still short of breath a bit.  It comes and goes.  I read it could be your lungs trying to clear out whatever’s settled there for however long, paired w the anxiety….if need be I’ll go to my dr again but having just been in the hospital twice w all the tests conducted on me is helping calm the fear of is it my heart is it my lungs etc. bc everything was clear.  Trying to not think abt it but it’s tough. I’ve been trying the pursed breathing jillar ty.  

[intoxicated yoda]

@Brioski  i got along pretty well until I was about 6 weeks in and then everything went to hell and stayed that way for months.  couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, couldn't stop eating, couldn't poo, drank enough water to float a battleship and got cramps in the damnedest places you could imagine and I put on 40 lbs in 4 months.  Long story short, my experience is that no matter how bad it gets it will get worse and then it gets better and then your addiction is cured...kind of.  ok, maybe not cured but the memory of the blistering hell I went through will be stuck in my mind for a long long time.  anyway, good luck and stay the course.  it is so worth it.

[Doreensfree]

I mirror what already has been said.

Its all healing although it doesn't seem like it just now

Dont forget .even folks who have never smoked have crappy days too..

It will get better ,you have to fight through it ...

 

[Sirius]

Each trigger you successfully resist becomes less of a trigger.

 

The hardest thing about time is doing it.

 

For instance, I woke not even thinking about smoking.  Then again, its been 

about 464 weeks of abstinence so...not much of an association.