Is Jesse still on board....

[Doreensfree]

I carnt remember seeing him for a few days.....

I might be wrong.....

[MarylandQuitter]

If history repeats itself...

[Doreensfree]

Shame....

[...]

No, it's ok. He is getting closer and closer. I did exactly what he is doing for over a year. One day he'll get tired of quitting and he'll quit for good.

 

What would be a shame is if he NEVER came back. Every time he does come back though, he is getting one step closer to freedom. He knows what he wants to do and he'll get there. I firmly believe that.

[Tink]

I have faith in you Jesse

 

I just know you can do this and follow your dreams as an added bonus:)

[Susana]

Jesse, you are always welcome here...

 

Never give up giving up... ok?

 

We ´ll be here for you

 

:)

 

:wacko:

[MarylandQuitter]

I'd like to know why he threw in the towel again and smoked so we can help him.  To me, relapse is not okay.  I understand it, I get it, I've been there but I also came very close to getting addicted again, so bad that in fact I was concerned that I wouldn't want to ever quit.  Relapsing is no more okay than smoking is.  What's the difference?

 

Not a single person needs to be a non-smoker to be here.  Those who relapse are just as welcome as anyone else and need to be here as much as anybody.  When I say that relapse is not okay I say that out of a caring place, not a critical one.  Like I've said, I've been there and I get it.  However, there is not a single reason why somebody cannot quit and certainly no reason to continue the cycle of quit/relapse/excuses/smoke/quit/relapse and so on.  

 

This addiction isn't like cutting sweets or carbs out of your diet as it's firmly taken root in our bodies and even more so our minds.  Everything we did from the time we woke up until the time we went to bed revolved around smoking in some way or another.  That takes time and vigilance to undo and the only way that we can start to learn to live without cigarettes is to first quit smoking them.

 

Jesse doesn't need to keep coming back over and over again as all he needs to do is bite the bullet and quit.  Wherever it is he's failing, we can't help him when he disappears.  Until he's honest with himself and us about his addiction, we can't help him.  We'll always be here of course, but he may not.  The time to quit is now because anybody could wind up that person who dies with a cigarette in their hand or gets stricken down with cancer like Bryan Curtis who died at age 34.  I'm quite sure he never in his wildest of thoughts ever gave consideration to dying at age 34 with his little boy at his side.

 

Jesse, if you're reading this, stop making excuses and quit.  We'll always be here to help and support you but you have to first make the effort to quit and let us help you when you struggle.  I understand that quitting can be hard as I smoked for more years than you are old.  So, it's hard.  So is being a kid, going to school, work, being a parent, walking away and saying goodbye.  All these of these things, quitting smoking is easier.  I could make a list of things from just today that I had to do that was harder than quitting but I think you understand. 

 

A college professor told me some 20+ years ago that anything worth having in this life is going to take hard work and sacrifice.  I'm sure he heard it from somewhere as there are countless variations of the same but that one stuck with me and carried me through to where I am today and that includes quitting and staying quit from smoking cigarettes.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3gtXGwu3uC4&list=PLCDB8BA311D538113&index=6

[...]

MQ, simply put.....he hasn't internalized everything yet. I do know for me quitting is not an action, but a process. I will even go so far as to say relapsing is ok. And I know I'm fixing to get my ass chewed for saying this but just listen to me.......

 

We smoked. Call it addiction or habit or whatever but it is something that we ingrained in ourselves as a life necessity. It's not just a cigarette. It's a friend, a coping mechanism, an escape, etc, etc, etc. There is something in him that wants to quit or he wouldn't keep coming back. I know cause I've been there. So have you (I think) and when I was On the board and y'all were telling me all the things I needed to hear....I could hear but I couldn't believe. It takes time. And one day, it clicks.

 

He's getting there. And we will see him again. Doesn't matter why he relapsed. What matters will be when HE starts to see what we are saying as the truth. When he starts to internalize his quit, then the reasons for relapsing will be important.

[Paul723]

A quit doesn't have to be "perfect". It's more like a pass / fail exam, you pass if you don't smoke. You don't have to have a perfect mindset of a perfect stress free time in your personal life. You can work on those things as you go, you just have to start. A lot of people quit when they are not sure they can or will succeed; there were days I couldn't take the daily NOPE pledge but made it through by not smoking. I remember reading that you don't get extra points for making your quit difficult, but you don't get any points until you quit. Take a leap of faith that you can work things out to your satisfaction afterwards and start. This goes for lurkers as well, start!

[...]

But then again.....maybe I'm wrong. It's happened before.

[MarylandQuitter]

MQ, simply put.....he hasn't internalized everything yet. I do know for me quitting is not an action, but a process. I will even go so far as to say relapsing is ok. And I know I'm fixing to get my ass chewed for saying this but just listen to me.......

 

We smoked. Call it addiction or habit or whatever but it is something that we ingrained in ourselves as a life necessity. It's not just a cigarette. It's a friend, a coping mechanism, an escape, etc, etc, etc. There is something in him that wants to quit or he wouldn't keep coming back. I know cause I've been there. So have you (I think) and when I was On the board and y'all were telling me all the things I needed to hear....I could hear but I couldn't believe. It takes time. And one day, it clicks.

 

He's getting there. And we will see him again. Doesn't matter why he relapsed. What matters will be when HE starts to see what we are saying as the truth. When he starts to internalize his quit, then the reasons for relapsing will be important.

 

Tiffany, although smoking may be a bad habit, it's without any doubt an addiction.  We are all addicts and that's all that matters. 

 

Smoking is not your friend, not a coping mechanism or an escape and so long as you believe these lies, you're going to continue to make this much harder than what it really is. These false notions will cause you to needlessly suffer and make you think that your missing out on something when in fact, you never got any of these things from smoking.  These are the same things that people say who relapse.  It's the very reason that I relapsed.  I thought it would help me cope and it didn't.  I'm not talking out of my ass, I'm talking about of experience.  Both of my quits were relatively easy but staying quit proved to be very difficult until I finally accepted that I was and am an addict and smoking did not benefit me in any way shape or form.

 

Jesse doesn't need to internalize anything.  All he needs to do is be committed to quitting. 

[...]

I agree with everything you said. Except for the last line.

 

I think it takes time and relearning that though. And I believe that's what he is doing. I think sometimes people start quitting long before they put out that last cigarette.

 

But that's just my opinion.

 

I do have the highest faith that he's gonna be back and one day, he will be quit for good.

[BAT]

NOPE