quit thoughts

[Doreensfree]

Darcey...

Your body is in repair ..it has a lot of healing to do...all your feeling is Temporary...

Be kind and gentle with yourself ...

Don't worry about the eating ..you will get around to that later on in your journey

[jillar]

You're doing great @darcy and as you get past each trigger will become easier to get past in the future. Glad to see my JAC (jillars air cigarette) is working well for you. I used mine the whole first year of my quit.

[overcome]

Good to hear you are stilI no longer a slave to nicotine. I thought I would eat everything in sight the rest of my life, but it did taper off after a while. 

Hang in there no matter what, you are worth it. 

[darcy]

Hello Companion Travelers on the Train of Freedom,

 

   Grateful beyond expression to NOT light up....

within the first 5 minutes of waking every day

between tasks

after work, before work and at lunch at work

after eating, swimming or walking

before bed

 

   Grateful that I have almost stopped wheezing.

   Grateful that I do not smell like smoke.

   Grateful for every moment I continue to BE FREE from nicotine slavery.

 

Still scared. Still wobbly.

 

Glad you all continue to BE here.

 

 

Edited February 11, 2023 by darcy

[DenaliBlues]

Hi, @darcy. It's wonderful to hear some of the gifts of freedom beginning to assert themselves! I think that a time of being scared and wobbly (which I was, too) is a natural part of quitting. Smoking was our architecture - and our prison - for so long that things feel odd and herky-jerky without it. But we are starting anew, building something beautiful.   

[Gus]

I’m so glad that you are still here with us and that you are doing so well with your quit and yes, I am thankful that I continue to BE ‘here’. Not only for myself but for others also.

[jillar]

You're doing awesome @darcy, and look at all the money you've already saved! Crazy how quickly it adds up isn't it?!  

[Doreensfree]

Way to go Darcey...

Great positive Post ....Keep that enthusiasm....Feel proud ...we love it

[darcy]

Hi

Trucking along and BEing free.

Great opportunity with my mom and our friend for a few days.

Grateful to have this place and all of you.

[DenaliBlues]

Thanks for touching base@darcy. Glad you’re still on the road to freedom!

[overcome]

[Gus]

You’re doing great @darcy!

[Doreensfree]

Your kicking that Nico Monster Arse

[Brioski]

Wtg, @darcy!! I’m proud of you! Following in your footsteps….

[darcy]

Having a really tough time.

Opportunities abound to remain smoke free.

H. No, eating plenty

A. Angry, anxious take your pick...yup

L. Amidst people I hold dear and lonely despite it....going through something that I don't feel comfortable sharing with many people...yet it bleeds into everything else

T. Yes, o yes , o yes...very tired and not sleeping well or comfortably and 14 days until things will be different.

 

Humor helps, yet nothing feeels funny.

 

[DenaliBlues]

Hi, @darcy. I’m sorry that you are struggling and feel alone. That sucks. Good on you for being cognizant of HALT and for posting here instead of smoking, that’s the way to protect your quit.
 

This too shall pass. Like a kidney stone maybe, but pass it shall. And until it does, do whatever seems kind and self-soothing (other than smoking). I personally watched a lot of cat videos in the first few months of my quit. Nothing like a dose of Maru to soothe my troubled soul…

[Brioski]

@darcy, I’m so sorry you’re having a hard time.  I’m not sure how much help I can be, as I’m having a hard time, too.  This sucks, but like you said before how it’s great waking up as an ex smoker, I agree except it’s going to bed an ex smoker for me lol.  
One thing I’ve found helpful is reading about how soooo many people were absolutely miserable, anxious, depressed (sorry people /lol), and having all these big feelings we’re having, so we’re not some broken being, we’re being dragged through the same brush they were too.  And they survived.  Even tho a cig sounds good right now, the feeling of not breathing, literally flipping off each cig I used to smoke, being in the cold and rain, watching bugs and mice run past me when I smoked in the garage, being anxious, and trips to the hospital for smoking related shit, etc sounds worse.

You can msg me anytime, I’m pretty much glued to this board and eating my feelings too (trying to be somewhat healthy but pish posh), even though I’m overweight to begin with prequit lol.
I’m actually going to try and take a shower today, wash my bedding, and go to the store. I hope one of those things happen instead of watching tv or TikTok all day.  But hey if that needs to happen so be it (I think that’s the first time I gave myself grace recently).

Very good on you for getting this far, please keep going, I’m following you gf!!

[jillar]

6 hours ago, Brioski said:

I’m actually going to try and take a shower today, wash my bedding, and go to the store. I hope one of those things happen instead of watching tv or TikTok all day.  But hey if that needs to happen so be it (I think that’s the first time I gave myself grace recently).

 

That's it right there @Brioski and @darcy. I stuck close to home for a month because I was worried I would stop and buy cigs and when I did finally venture out I took my never smoker husband with me to keep me honest. 

Keep getting your feelings off your chest by posting as it helps not only you guys but others coming behind you. I used to go back and read all my posts each month from when I started my quit just so I wouldn't forget where I came from. Unfortunately that forum imploded and many of us lost our content

[Brioski]

How are you doing, @darcy?

[darcy]

Feeling like I'm just waiting to go get a pack.

It's been a long month of support and celebration with people I love.

I am an emotional wreck with a smile plastered on my face.

Finding myself utilizing  the tools of the first few days quit....do nothing but protect my quit. Avoid leaving. Just stop doing anything that raises my ire even remotely.

Work starts again  Monday.

I just keep thinking I m headed for a pack after the folks leave and I can quietly fall apart on my own....or continue to march on with the platered smile. 

Love on your peeps....we never know when we won't have the chance again. 

 

 

Cried myself to sleep last night because of the weight gain....

[jillar]

24 minutes ago, darcy said:

I am an emotional wreck with a smile plastered on my face.

Keep reminding yourself Darcy that you're feeling like that because of SMOKING and NOT because of quittting. And give yourself a break! It's ok to feel like that, it won't be forever and the weight gain is temporary too. What you're doing is far more important than a few extra pounds.

You are doing AWESOME so don't forget it!!!

[Doreensfree]

Dont worry about your weight Darcy.there will be a day where your settled in your quit ..and suddenly your attention will focus on your weight ..dying of a smoke related illness is more harmful ...

Coming here and venting is better than buying a pack ..you have a great quit going ...don't throw it away..

Turn all the negative thoughts into positive ones ..what your achieving is the most wonderful thing you can do for yourself ..

Let it all out in off the record thread in the basement ..

 

 

[overcome]

I blimped up pretty good and was able to lose most of it already, more important to live and be nicotine free.

Pretty much say for sure, I will never go back to paying the evil tobacco company for their product knowing it is going to cripple living my life and eventually kill me. 

@darcy You are worth it, hang in there. 

Edited April 1, 2023 by overcome

[Brioski]

I agree @darcy, you are worth it…I’ve heard around the three month mark really sucks and creeps up on you…maybe that’s part of it?  Don’t get me wrong, I totally know and relate to what you’re feeling…the want, almost need, to get our keys and walk towards the door…but we don’t. Bc I think we’re being told to be patient it’ll get better, well lemme tell you, it effing better get better!!! Lol. Or I’ll be even more pissed. And they must know that darc and they’re still telling us that so it must get better.  I’m proud of you girl, breathe in a deep breath and tell me it doesn’t feel good right?

One of the things the therapist told me w quitting is what jillar said, it’s bc we smoked not bc we quit that we’re feeling this way. She also said smoking was how we coped w everything…happy, sad, excited, bored etc. and we have to just find other things. And girl it’s ok if it’s food rn. I’m trying to eat stupid healthy bc I just found out I’m on the cusp of prediabetes….greatttt lol. So I get it. It sucks. I’m here to listen.

Also heard something the other day on youtube…there’s a big difference btwn our logical mind and emotional mind…logical would be how smoking harms us, its smelly, etc. and emotional would be how we perceive it as our friend, it calms us, etc. and we would always listen to our emotional not logical mind bc it’s a literal addiction. This person said to train our emotional mind by saying things out loud and we start to really believe it, it becomes engrained in our emotional mind. Idk it sounds like bs but I’m gonna try it. Lol. I guess saying things out loud like “this is the addiction talking….I’m so glad I’m free…” etc. Even if we don’t believe it at first. Idk. Lol. 
Hope you feel better girl

[DenaliBlues]

Sorry you’re riding a rough wave, @darcy. Smoking was our go-to “soother” for a long time, so it takes a while to separate from that pull. The desire to smoke is just a memory… like recalling a boyfriend or girlfriend who treated you like s—t. It’s a vivid memory, but NOT anything you need anymore. Hold on, protect your quit, and you’ll make it to the other side.