addiction or habit ?

[...]

Sometimes I do charity work for a homeless shelter. A really good friend of mine runs it and I help her out whenever she needs it. In the last 2 weeks, she has called me in twice. Seems she is getting an influx of abscesses from IV drug abuse. The first one I saw was from heroin abuse. 23 years old with a 4 year old little boy that she doesn't have custody of any more. The second one I saw last night. She has already lost one arm in an infection from an infected meth injection and now has another abscess in her remaining arm from the same thing. And she has an 8 year old little boy that she does have custody of. And this morning, I get another call from her. She has another one in there that I will see tonight.

 

I've been thinking, more in awe, at how much people will put their poor bodies through to get that next fix. I have listened patiently and not said anything as people have announced on here and other places calling themselves nicotine addicts. I haven't ever agreed with that term. To me, these people are addicts. Me, personally, have always felt that I have developed a habit that's really hard to break. I have never thought of myself as an addict.

 

Which has led me to think.......are we doing this much damage to our bodies and it's just not as evident. I would NEVER EVER let anything come before my children. I don't understand that. But one day, I made my son go to the neighbors and get me cigarettes. She knew I was trying to quit and I knew she wouldn't not give them to my son if he asked. Is that manipulation or addiction talking ? It's a fine line there.

 

And then I thought about Doreen's husband and about all the patients I see that are on borrowed time and how they sneak smoking. Knowing that is what got them there in the first place. Does that define addiction ? One loses an arm and I call it addiction. One loses his life and I call it a habit.

 

I have a really hard time with the word "addict".....but seeing these people and knowing what I would have done for a cigarette at times has got me wondering. What if cigarettes, today, became immediately illegal ? What lengths people would go to to smoke.....would I have been one of those people ? What is the only form nicotine could be taken was IV ? Would people still do it to the extent they do today in inhalation form ?

 

Just me wondering and being angry. Angry that someone could actually want to hurt themselves and their kids by just getting a good feeling. There are so many good things about life and they just seem to be short changing themselves. It's sad. And wondering if I'm the same as them. I don't want to be.

[...]

Sorry if I sound confused. Just trying to figure this out and having a hard time wrapping my head around it.

[Still winning]

((tiff)) that sounds tough to see what you are seeing, thus the hug.

 

I appreciate everyone has a different take on this addiction thing. For me, until I accepted I was an addict I don't think there was a thing in the world that would have made me quit! It's purely because I "baulked" so hard against being called that - then had no choice but to see it for what it was. 

 

Personally I will never be able to forgive myself for some of the smoking I did (occasional in car with children and around children, my own and others) and nothing short of an addiction would have made me risk my childrens health or my time with them (which was majorly lacking with a 40 a day habit).

 

That said I respect everyone's right to call it whatever they want if they can quit it :)

 

xx

[sharonsiff]

I know what you mean to be honest, as I feel the same in a round about way.

 

This could just be me, and I appreciate that completely....but.... having both smoked (13 years) the vaped (6months) I honestly believe that if pharmaceutical nicotine, just nicotine and not the added extras in tobacco smoke, was only available via a drip then no one would bother. None tobacco smoke type nicotine is in itself not very rewarding. Too many vapers are whizzing down to zero for it to be this ' highly addictive' substance it's claimed to be, me included and I'm not Super Siff ;). So just pharmaceutical nicotine then habit as more and more are easily breaking the habit of using nicotine. Many go onto continue the habit of vaping with zero nicotine liquid.

 

Nicotine in the chemical stew that is tobacco smoke then addiction, no doubt about it in my mind. Added anti depressants (MAOI's) in the chemical stew make sure we are addicted, till we grit our teeth and say no more and work through the quit.

 

I often ask myself am I a nicotine addict, really? I would say I was a tobacco smoke addict as I felt the urge so many times (in the first 5 months) to have a cig and put myself out of detox misery. But a none tobacco smoke addict, just nicotine via a drip- then no

[Paul723]

Nicotine is addictive and I consider myself to be a recovering addict.  I know I can't have (nor do I want) any cigarettes.  Not everyone who smokes becomes addicted to nicotine (about 1 in 10); for some it is a habit.

[sgt.barney]

You haven't been able to quit after (how long has it been now, Tiff? ) because you refuse to admit the obvious truth.

 

You are an addict.

 

The Sarge says again: you are an addict.

 

Until you know this, and can freely admit it, you will struggle.

 

It is a *necessary* component of a successful quit.

 

Necessary (but not sufficient).

 

 

 

 

Easy Peasy

[Tink]

an interesting topic tiff its one I dont have the answers to, to be honest I call myself an addict and that term alone helps to solidify my quit as I know I cannot have one puff or i would be back smoking

 

in my ignorant brain, to me that defines me as an addict 

 

maybe the other substances you get addicted to are on different levels, I havent been there so I cannot really say 

 

I have known alcoholics who cannot have just one drink though

 

but i admire you and your friend for the work you do xxx

[joe]

to my knowledge a habit has no physical side effects when you stop doing it.an addiction on the other hand does have physical side effects.

 

plain and simple. Nicotine is a drug and I am addicted to it.

[Doreensfree]

Hi tiff....

I suppose people will differ in thier opinion as to whether a addiction or habit.....

For me......

its a addiction......this is the only logical reason I can accept,as to why tony and I would smoke so long ,and ignore all the health warnings...

It's sad to hear stories about addicts who are willing to lose thier children and families.....

It's the nature of the substance....nicotine can distroy family's too.....

Reminding myself very often that I am a junkie ,helps me always be on my guard from my fix......

Hugs

[ChRiSpY]

Both...it is a biotch.

[...]

to my knowledge a habit has no physical side effects when you stop doing it.an addiction on the other hand does have physical side effects.

Now that makes sense to me. I don't like labeling someone just because they failed a quit or they struggle quitting. There has to be a defined line as to what characterizes an addict. You don't see people using meth and not becoming addicted to it, however, you do see non "addicted" smokers. Which causes me to think its a frame of mind instead of a physical issue.

 

Sarge, it's funny you spoke up. Your the one that made me think about this. You said those same exact words a while back to me. And while dealing with this woman, she tells me that she had a nurse in the hospital who thought she had a serious drug problem. She eloquently referred to this nurse as "Miss Nurse Saveahoe" and that this nurse lectured her on maybe getting some help. And then she proceeds to tell me she's not addicted. She doesn't even have a bad drug problem. She's just allergic to the metals in the needle. I was floored. SHE'S MISSING AN ARM !!!! And yet, to say she was an addict, she would shut you up.

 

It makes my skin crawl to think I'm addicted to something.

 

And then I wondered......is this how I sound to you ? I've had 2 heart attacks at the ripe young age of 34 and 35. I loved smoking. I think about it now......and even rationalized my smoking. How it helped me, how we all have to die sometime, yada, yada, yada.

 

It's just me thinking. Maybe I need to come to terms with a label. Maybe I'm looking for a way out. I don't know.

 

Maybe there are different levels to addiction. There may not any definite answer. I guess I'm just trying to figure out how one can call themselves an addict. What the definition is.

 

Whatever it is, I can't stop thinking about this woman. My heart breaks for her. And I'm not sure why this particular woman. I think it was the sadness in her eyes.

[...]

Both...it is a biotch.

Lol !!!!

 

I agree.

[Still winning]

Nicked from whyquit.com and something that resonated with me:

 

So why are some people social smokers able to take it or leave it, while the rest of us got hooked? Referred to as "chippers," they probably account for less than 10% of all smokers. Jealous? If so and still using don't worry, it's normal. That's what enslaved brains tend to dream about, to want to become like them, to control what for us is uncontrollable.

Being immune to addiction is believed to at least in part be related to genetics. But with up to 90% of daily users hooked solid under DSM standards, spending millions studying nicotine dependency genetics seems almost laughable. Before feeling too sorry for yourself, imagine what it's like to be an alcoholic and forced to watch roughly 90% of drinkers do something that you yourself cannot, to turn and walk away. We only have to watch the 10% who are chippers.

 

 

Less than 10% for some reason don't have the same neural pathways and therefore do not get addicted. That's not many is it??  It's also not me, although I don't speak for you. 

 

I say with conviction - I did not want to spend all that money on smoking, I had tried and failed multiple times to quit, my health and the health of other smokers around me was pretty bad - yet I still did it. That's not habit, you can walk away from a bad habit -you can't walk away easily from an addiction. 

 

xx

[BAT]

All I know for sure is that I can never smoke again if I want to remain a nonsmoker. 

 

 

Keep It Simple Keep It Smoke Free  :)

[El Bandito]

Probably both.

 

As resident Rocket Surgeon, I'm with the shark

 

Not One Puff Ever

 

Just easier.

[jimmy]

I know I  never want to smoke again .tiff that's to young for a heart attack I know it happens to young people but why  help it along so don't even think about going back to smoking     your a nonsmoker   now   if  you buy smokes im coming to Houston and kicking the guys  but that sells them to you  ok    ktq you can do it for you and your kids  :D

[sgt.barney]

Now that makes sense to me. I don't like labeling someone just because they failed a quit or they struggle quitting. There has to be a defined line as to what characterizes an addict.

 

It's not a "fine line", it's a "blatantly obvious line" ... and one day Sarge hopes you see it, too.

 

It is there to see if you'd just open your eyes and look ...

 

You don't see people using meth and not becoming addicted to it, however, you do see non "addicted" smokers. Which causes me to think its a frame of mind instead of a physical issue.

 

Flawed logic is flawed.

 

Flawed!

 

Just because some folks don't get addicted, does not in any way imply, nor lead to the conclusion that you are not addicted.

 

BTW - there are plenty who have tried meth and NOT become addicted. The Sarge knows quite a few. You just don't know the right folks. To make the point even more: The Sarge himself has dabbled in many an illicit substance without addiction. So have, literally, countless others. The only ones Sarge ended up addicted to are definitely smoking/nicotine and probably (borderline) alcohol. He still enjoys his weed, but it's been ... 9 years already(?? new year's, 2005) since Sarge has partaken. The rest he can take or leave ... and has mostly left.

 

Just because la-di-da-di-every-body doesn't get addicted to a particular substance does not, in any way, mean that a person addicted to said substance is not an addict.

 

The Sarge says again, with emphasis: Flawed Logic Is Flawed!

Sarge, it's funny you spoke up. Your the one that made me think about this. You said those same exact words a while back to me. And while dealing with this woman, she tells me that she had a nurse in the hospital who thought she had a serious drug problem. She eloquently referred to this nurse as "Miss Nurse Saveahoe" and that this nurse lectured her on maybe getting some help. And then she proceeds to tell me she's not addicted. She doesn't even have a bad drug problem. She's just allergic to the metals in the needle. I was floored. SHE'S MISSING AN ARM !!!! And yet, to say she was an addict, she would shut you up.

 

Nobody shuts The Sarge up.

 

Nobody.

 

It makes my skin crawl to think I'm addicted to something.

 

The truth often hurts.

 

Get over it.

 

And then I wondered......is this how I sound to you ? I've had 2 heart attacks at the ripe young age of 34 and 35. I loved smoking. I think about it now......and even rationalized my smoking. How it helped me, how we all have to die sometime, yada, yada, yada.

 

Yes, this is exactly how you sound.

 

Come on, Tiff. Two? TWO !! Most folks with an amputated limb don't die of an amputated limb... but a rather high percentage of heart attacks KILL folks.

 

Kill. Them. Dead.

 

You don't think smoking directly caused, or at least greatly contributed to said multiple heart attacks?

 

It's just me thinking. Maybe I need to come to terms with a label. Maybe I'm looking for a way out. I don't know.

 

It ain't a "label". It's what we call a "fact".

 

A successful quit requires both truth and honesty, Tiff.

 

Truth and honesty.

 

Maybe there are different levels to addiction. There may not any definite answer. I guess I'm just trying to figure out how one can call themselves an addict.

 

It's easy. Say it with Sarge: "I am an addict."

 

I am an addict.

 

What the definition is.

 

Wikipedia says " ... the continued repetition of a behavior despite adverse consequences ... "

 

I'd say your two heart attacks (as well as many other you can think of) count as "adverse consequences".

 

You're trying to define it in a way that doesn't include you.

 

The rest of us call that "denial".

 

Whatever it is, I can't stop thinking about this woman. My heart breaks for her.

 

And The Sarge's for you ...

 

And I'm not sure why this particular woman. I think it was the sadness in her eyes.

Get over it, and get over it right soon now or continue the life of an addict.

 

HEY EVERYBODY - LOOK AT SARGE: HE'S A NICOTINE ADDICT!!!

(see how easy that was?)

 

The Sarge anxiously awaits the day he hears The Tiff shout same.

 

 

 

Easy Peasy

 

 

P.S. - in the interest of full disclosuer: Sarge just busted open a 5-litre box o' Cheap Sangria. He's pretty sure he's an alcohol addict too ... but just doesn't care at the moment.

[El Bandito]

Hmmmmmm.....

 

Tiff, I went through something a little similar to what it sounds like you are doing.

 

I had lunch with some business partners. After we had eaten, my colleague excused herself to go out and smoke. One of the business partners went too.

 

I didn't know you smoked I remarked on his return. I don't, he replied. He explained that once his wife got pregnant he quit. Now and again though he would have one. I explored this with him and as far as I could ascertain he had been carrying on this way for years and was genuinely not addicted. He could go weeks without smoking. Perhaps it is a neural pathway thing, perhaps it is a frame of mind thing. "If only I could do that" I whined to myself. For a while I was pining. Part of my brain was trying to work out how to become the occasional smoker...

 

But then....

 

Why?

 

If we assume that you and I can meet up and have one cigarette each.

 

Why would we?

 

1. So that we could stink like an ashtray? Just find an ashtray breath deep, and then rub the ash into your hair and face.

2. To feel that 'hit' in the throat? Stick your head in a fireplace and breathe deep.

3. To feel a bit dizzy and sick like we did when we first started? Go on a rollercoaster.

4. To be one of the gang? Look...everyone is quitting.

 

It's all nonsense.

 

A little part of my brain still believed that cigarettes had magical powers and in some undescribed way, made me feel better. Some part of me somewhere.....is AN ADDICT.

 

A cigarette will do nothing for me. That's the truth.

 

It would do nothing for you either Tiff.

[MarylandQuitter]

I took this from my about me page.  It wasn't until I admitted to myself that I was an addict that I saw smoking as it really was, and myself.

 

"In early December 2012 I went to see my Dr. about something unrelated and before I left I decided to mention that I wanted to quit smoking but enjoyed it too much.  I told him that I could quit if I really wanted to, I just didn’t want to.  I told him that I wanted to quit smoking for my family because they meant everything to me and I knew that the cigarettes would eventually catch up with me if I didn’t quit for good.
 
In a nutshell, he told me I was full of shit.  He told me that my family wasn’t the most important thing in my life, cigarettes were.  He also went on to tell me that I was an addict to which I laughed and said “you’re telling me that I’m an addict because I’m smoking tobacco?  It’s not like I’m shooting heroin or snorting cocaine.”  He chuckled to himself and said “you’re the exact definition of an addict and the only reason why you’re not out on the streets stealing to feed your addiction is because cigarettes are legal.”  I was mad as I sat there.  How could this man say these things to me?  I really do enjoy smoking.  I sat and I listened.  He gave me a prescription for Wellbutrin XL to help me quit smoking.  I told him that I didn’t need any medication to quit smoking and he informed me that I had been smoking for nearly 28 years with several failed attempts at quitting and whatever I was doing was not working."

 

 

[Susana]

Tiff, you know I´m not an advocate of "tough love" when it is applied to somebody who has thrown themselves off a cliff and are at the bottom hurting and complaining and feeling like idiots.

 

But you sound like you are on top of the cliff and considering giving it a try. So you´ll have to listen to some hard truths.

 

First, a fact that nobody has highlighted but I think it is paramount to keep in mind here: cancer hits smokers. Passive smokers, active smokers, 60-a-day smokers and ocassional smokers. Smoking causes cancer. Just 1 cigarette (ONE) has enough chemicals to cause cancer. Smoking kills. Full stop.

 

level 1.- Some people never quit until smoking kills them , and they die with a cigarette in their lips (whether they are social smokers, after-dinner smokers or chain smokers). Usually cancer is the killer, because by the time it shows its ugly face it is usually too late.

 

level 2.- Then there are the other side-effects of smoking: COPD, heart disease, vascular disease (lots of smokers end up losing limbs) etc. etc. Caught early these diseases are usually curable or can be tamed into a chronic conditions that make life difficult but not necessarily kill. Those who have a predisposition to these problems should not smoke. Nobody should smoke, but even moreso those who KNOW FOR A FACT that if they smoke they will 100% die of smoking. It is a no brainer.

 

level 3.- Then, lastly, we can debate about addiction. Addiction per se doesn´t harm or kill. Like in that program, so favoured by myself "My strange addiction", we see people addicted to the weirdest things (sunbeds, shopping, gambling, cosmetic surgery, shagging their car, sleeping with their hair dryer on...). The problem with addiction is that you lose control of your life to your addiction. You can´t have a normal life because your addiction gets in the way. Addiction makes people miserable. It may not kill them, but it makes them miserable.

 

Here we are ALL ADDICTS. But some of us are addicts who are at level 3 (miserable but apparently healthy), some of us are level-2 addicts (miserable and unhealthy), and some are level-1 addicts (miserable, unhealthy, and in actual risk of death).

 

Where would you put yourself? At what level? And don´t tell me you don´t feel miserable because if you were a happy smoking bunny you will not be posting.

 

We love you. We want you to succeed, but sometimes you are your worst enemy. That junkie brain of yours, who is the Einstein of the junkies, and persistent it is too, my god!

 

Please read, listen, think, and do not smoke. Post. And do not smoke. If you have to be here posting all week and letting us have a look into that hyper-active monkey of yours, so be it, as long as you give us the tools to help you. We have to get there with you, once and for all.

 

(((((((((((((((((((((((Tiffany)))))))))))))))))))))))

 

 

Smoking can cost an arm and a leg. Please read:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-360870/Smoking-cost-arm-leg--literally.html

[Becca]

Hi, My name is Rebecca and I'm a smoke-a-holic.  I have been smober for almost 18 months.  Oh Tiff, if you could just admit that you are an addict and accept that and work with it, you will be so much happier and better off.  At 17 months, even stressful situations don't make me want to smoke.  Boredom doesn't want to make me smoke.  I am no longer a smoker, but I am still addicted to nicotine.  One puff would do me in and awaken all those cravings.   

[...]

When I was younger, I did a lot of drugs. A whole lot. And I was with the same man through high school and for several years after. And we did a lot of drugs together. Until I found out I was pregnant. And then it all stopped. Did I miss it ? Of course. But I had a baby on the way and I just stopped. I didn't go to meetings or get support. I just stopped. Not him. He had to go to NA meetings and tell everyone how he be told how to do this life without the use of mind altering chemicals. We didn't last because of this. He wanted to get married. But I wasn't willing to accept that anyone has to go in front of a bunch of strangers and say "Hi, my name is ......and I'm a drug addict". ARE YOU SERIOUS ???? Why can't you just be someone that used to do drugs end now you don't ? That's what I am. And I don't do them now nor want to. I don't wake up in the morning wishing I had a hit of acid, or a joint to smoke. As a matter of fact, I find life much more pleasurable without it. I love my life.

 

And this is how I want to be with smoking. I am NOT a weak person. I have a career, a life, friends, children that are the world to me, a full staff that I manage mostly by myself and I am a very strong willed person. My life is good.

 

I am sick of thinking about not smoking. And quite frankly am getting angry about it. I don't want to smoke. I'm in no danger of smoking. I just can't seem to get my thoughts to agree with me. And it's pissing me off. I don't want to have to rely on a internet support forum, I don't want to have to read anything. I just want to FREAKING GO ON WITH MY LIFE !!!!!! I don't need a label to do that, do I ?

 

Maybe I need to take a break for a little while. I think maybe I need to quit internalizing this so much. Yes, that woman affected me. Her level of denial was so blatant. And I thought I took things head on.

[...]

Oh and by the way, today is 40 days for me. And I will see 41 days, 42, 43 and so on.

[Becca]

I wish stopping smoking cigarettes was as easy for me as it was to quit smoking pot.  But it wasn't.  Pot, I just stopped and never looked back.  Cigs, was a struggle.  What I wish for you Tiff is for you to get to the point where it isn't a struggle any more.  I'm there and I love it.  But it was a struggle for the first 9 months or so for me, daily, but that is my wish for you.  For the struggle to ease.

[babs609]

You will get to a comfortable place tiff. But there is only one way to get there. By not taking a single puff. Gradually your smoking thoughts and your thoughts about not smoking, will diminish.

 

You will always be a nicotine addict. But proudly...a non active one

 

Keep marching forward girl. No looking back. :)

 

You've got this!