It's all good !!!!!

[...]

I know that y'all have given me support the last 2 days and I hate to ask for even more. I'm sorry. But I'm angry and I don't even know why !!!

 

I had a really good vacation. It was so nice to sit back and relax and now I'm back to running my ass off. We are so freaking busy all the blessed time. It never stops !!!! I'm sick of it. I'm gonna be working late tonight and I don't want to.

 

And I just had to chase the dog across a wet pasture. I hate this stupid stupid dog.

 

I don't even know what's going on anymore. I just know that I used to be able to unwind with a cigarette. I could sit down and relax. And now that I'm not smoking, I'm running my damn ass off and not enjoying it one freaking bit. I just don't know if this is what I want anymore.

 

But then again, I also know that is junkie thinking. It just won't leave my head. I was happy 2 days ago. What the freak happened ??????????

 

So here it is. My first SOS. How pathetic is that ?

[Devil Doll]

I know that y'all have given me support the last 2 days and I hate to ask for even more.  I'm sorry.  But I'm angry and I don't even know why !!!

 

I had a really good vacation.  It was so nice to sit back and relax and now I'm back to running my ass off.  We are so freaking busy all the blessed time.  It never stops !!!!  I'm sick of it.  I'm gonna be working late tonight and I don't want to. 

 

And I just had to chase the dog across a wet pasture.  I hate this stupid stupid dog. 

 

I don't even know what's going on anymore.  I just know that I used to be able to unwind with a cigarette.  I could sit down and relax.  And now that I'm not smoking, I'm running my damn ass off and not enjoying it one freaking bit.  I just don't know if this is what I want anymore. 

 

But then again, I also know that is junkie thinking.  It just won't leave my head. I was happy 2 days ago.  What the freak happened ??????????

 

So here it is.  My first SOS.  How pathetic is that ? 

It's not pathetic. It's human, and it's the junkie thinking inching its way in to what is a bad day for you. You know that smoking isn't going to make any of this better and you have come so far to throw it away. 

Deep breaths, you can get through this. 

[MarylandQuitter]

You wanna know what's pathetic, Tiff?  Throwing away a 9 month quit because you're too tough to reach out and ask for help.  I was that guy a little over 9 months ago.  I thought I had it all figured out but little did I know, I was letting that junkie thinking take root in my mind and set the course for my relapse.

 

You posting an S.O.S. is not pathetic and in fact, it takes more courage to do so than it does to simply do nothing.

 

What's happening is you're winning the battle against the addiction.  Your body and mind are getting used to life without poision and the addict in you wants what feels familiar.  Hold on because not smoking will be the new familiar feeling for you.

 

This is all part of the healing process, body and mind.  You're doing fine and kudos for having the courage to reach out for help!!!  I wish I had been strong enough to do so. 

[Tink]

Hey tiff I had my first SOS the day before my 7 quit anniversary yes at the time. Had to swallow my pride but boy I . Am glad I did reaching out is what this board is all about its the difference between keeping your quit and sack it in

 

You say you are running around is that at home or work or both?

 

As a non smoker you can still take timeout, go sit somewhere with a nice drink, take 5 minutes time out especially if you are stressed

 

My anger management is crap I can flip a . Lid but I'm learning to take time out to calm down

 

Things you could do 

 

Go sit on your own and have a God dam cry

 

Go eat something nice enjoy it take your time don't feel guilty

 

Have a shower or bath

 

If at work tell them you feel sick an need some fresh air

 

Watch hypnosis video on YouTube

 

Breathing exercise

 

Go for a run

 

Do not throw in the towel you know you will regret it all you need to do is some 're giggling of time, smoking will not change time but it will give you less time on this planet eventually

[beacon]

Maybe it is the stress and tension? Funny thing, since I quit, I really find new things highly annoying. For one, I cannot stand the tone of certain people's voices and the rhythm of their speech. Or, my close family members and friends annoy me. Plus I find my job annoying too,

 

:0

 

I most likely stuffed all of this down by smoking.  Now I do not want to smoke so it bubbles up to the surface.  I do breathing and cardio and spa days and weight lifting and funny cat cartoons and jokes.

 

Take a few minutes to walk around, stretch, have a tea or coffee, do a moment or two of something fun

[Doreensfree]

Well done tiff,for coming here and getting it all out.....

What your feeling is so normal......when I first quit,I was angry at the world.....my emotions were all over the place....

Did I cry.....you bet I did,and heaps of it......

Some days just screaming all the stuff your hear here...n.o.pe....smoking is not on the table ect....is all I could manage......

But I said to myself no matter what I feeling,no matter how bad I wouldn't smoke...... The folks who had been there before me said it would get easier,I trusted them......

The shouting got less ,the angry days got less.....and one day I reolized I'm lovin this quit,and started to protect it at all costs...

Be patient ,your body has to adjust.....it will happen ,now I'm making that promise to you......

Take it nice and steady.....one minute at a time if need be....

We are all here for you....

Hugs

[action]

TIffany, sounds like life to me - you said yourself, 2 days ago you were happy, now you are stressed - I bet tomorrow or the day after, you will be happy again... And not because of smoking. Life can be stressful with or without cigarettes.

 

You've already done the hard part - the first week or so is the hardest, and you don't want to go throughout that again.

 

Smoking won't stop you working late. In fact, it will probably make you work later because you keep taking one breaks!

 

You have a choice to make now - smoke of not smoke. I've seen hundreds of people say they wished they hadn't smoked... I've never seen anyone, ever, say that they are glad that they decided to smoke, because every single person regretted it.

 

(((Tiffany)))

[...]

I just left the office. I don't know what is going on but I am full of emotions today. It started when I woke up. The first thing I thought about was a cigarette and that seems to have set the precedent for my day. So I'm gonna change it. I'm gonna go work with patients today and spend some time with their families. They love it when the head honcho comes to see them. Makes them feel important (and they are) but it also keeps me grounded. A much needed dose of reality.

 

Beacon, you nailed it. Things are really making me mad that didn't use to. I used to just smile and walk away. Now I just see my self becoming very hostile.

 

Right now, this minute, I'm not going to smoke. Can't say it's not because I don't want to. But because I know that as soon as I do, I will want to quit again. Or maybe not. I might enjoy it so much that I will never want to quit again. But either way, the track I'm on now is the best. I guess my heart just isn't in it right now.

 

I can't wait till I can retire. I only have 23 years, one month and 3 days to go. Then I can relax and maybe enjoy this ride called life. Stress without smoking seems weird. Unnatural.

[Frezflops]

What Beacon said I did the same thing myself......I realize now that I stifled my emotions with a cigarette all the time......now that I dont smoke I have to find alternative methods to shut my mind up or relax my mind from stressing out....I use lots of breathing at times and of course exercise.......but what I have noticed now though is even though there is stress in my life at times(there always will be) it is actually lessened because I do not have the added stress of trying to fulfill my cravings or nic fits which added to my stress levels when I smoked........You are strong and good job posting this 

[Paul723]

Try to push the smoking thoughts out of your head as quickly as pop up. Take smoking off the table. Busy and stressed, how would you like to see yourself handle it?

[Susana]

Tiffany, I´m sorry that you have to go through such a rough patch. After a nice holiday it must feel like crap to go back to real life. What a downer! But to think that relapsing is going to make real life more bearable is junkie thinking of the lowest kind. Come on, Tiffany´s nicodemon! You can do better than that! ... or maybe you can´t? Please Tiffany, don´t fall for such a con!

 

What would happen if you smoke now, after over a month. Just that one?

a) You may hate it. And then you´ll feel even more crap. You´ll still feel down and stressed, but on top of that you´ll also feel like an idiot. And then you´ll want to quit again and you´ll have to start from scratch. Grrrrrr... not a good idea

b.) You may love it. And then you go back to being a smoker. You´ve been there, so you know that you will never be a happy smoker ever ever again. You´ll be a crappy smoker, a cupboard smoker, hiding for a while, you´ll start coughing and feeling bad, and then a few weeks down the line you´ll have to start from scratch. Grrrrr... not a good idea.

 

So sorry, girl, the only way forward is.... forward. One day at a time. One step and another step. And another step.

 

You were talking about how sad it is that our parents grow older. Of course it is sad. They are older than us. We know they will get old, and eventually they will leave us. It is sad. But we know. We are somewhat prepared to it. It is life. We can´t change it, just prepare ourselves to live it.

 

Look at your patients. Not the parents, but the children. The sick sons and sick daughters. Nothing in this world can prepare a father or a mother, a grandpa, a granny, to even entertain the idea that they may outlive their offspring. That is not how life should go. We can´t change it and we can´t ´prepare ourselves for that. Hang on... there is something we can ACTUALLY do as children, as grandchildren, which is to look after ourselves. Sometimes life sucks and illness sucks, but it sucks even more when we had the chance to prevent it and we didn´t.

 

Look after yourself, Tiffany, please. You must have noticed how much better you feel physically when you do not smoke. You are running, you must look stunning, you must have lots of energy. Why would you want to throw all that away? How would your dad feel when he found out?

 

I don´t want to play emotional blackmail. I´m sure the above thoughts have crossed your mind regardless of what I may say here. Please let´s leave them as thoughts and do not harm yourself.

 

((((((((((((((Tiffany))))))))))))))))

[ArmedNAruba]

"And I WANT to quit smoking.  I want to be able to breathe again without struggling and I want to set an example for my son and for myself.  I know I can do this.  I just have to be willing to do whatever it takes to get there. So here I am again..... feeling embarrassed and silly. But I am not going to give up.  I want to quit smoking.  I really really do.  I'm getting worried I have done so much damage now that I can't undo.  But I can at least give my poor body a chance to try and undo maybe some of it.  I don't want to die sooner than I should.  I deserve more than that."

 

 

 

 

 

 Read this 19x. These are your words Tiffany. When you get through this incredibly tough patch, I promise you your quit will be

 

stronger than ever. You KNOW how horrible you will feel if you have just one puff. Fight it. Fight is off hard. Life can really suck at

 

times. Don't let those killer cigarettes be your answer. You and your son are so worth it.

[Still winning]

Know what's pathetic - still smoking - know what's not pathetic - asking others to help you bash it back down!!

 

Sure the moment has long since passed hun but a number of us had issued this SOS. I think that takes MORE strength of character then slinking off and smoking. 

 

Your post screams help me, it's tough right now but I don't want to smoke. You won't smoke tiff but some days are damn hard. Smoking don't make them any easier and there comes a point (now for youI think) where you wish it would help but know it won't!

 

So, people are really arseholes aren't they, I mean how frikkin annoying are people - they also seemed easier to deal with when I smoked if that helps to know. That's ok, you can learn new swear words to mutter under your breath(although you look too much of a lady) or engage a "coping technique" that works for you. 

 

You are facing a tough couple of days, but there is always a rainbow after a happy/sad storm, it will be ok. Just hold on and wait for the rainbow. xx

[Still winning]

Forgot to say, when I did an sos someone said "thank you, really thank you" then explained seeing someone else do it meant they felt ok about doing it themselves one day if they needed too! Stuck with me Tiff, your sos might inadvertently help someone else's quit one day.

 

xx

[Nancy]

Tiff, you have gotten great advice from everyone...you can do this...and you know that smoking is not going to help.  Just get through this rough patch, and you will come out stronger on the other side!

[JustSomeGuy]

I think it takes a lot of courage to ask for help.   You did the right thing.  It shows that you really don't want to smoke.  You can get through the urges.  And the stresses will pass.  You can do this. :) 

[mtbjay]

I may be late to the SOS here, but let me ask you a question. If you were smoking, your dog would still have run off, and you would have had to chase it, with a chest full of TAR!. Gasping for air, and I guarantee that you would have thought at that moment, "Man, i gotta quit smoking!"

 

I have had to stop and ask myself questions like this a few times. I have four kids, aged 1, 3, 5 and 10. I write software for a living, and have a VERY stressful life. I learned to ask myself, "Would this have happened if i was smoking? Would this deadline still have been handed down from my bosses at work? Would my wife still have ruined my shirt in the wash? Would my kids still have smashed my cell phone because they were fighting over it to play a stupid game?" Yep. YES. YES AND YES. Would smoking a cigarette have helped? Nope. Not at all.

 

Sure, i hated the game developer that made that stupid a** game that my kids wanted to play, which resulted in my phone being broken. 

Sure, I wanted to punch the ceo of my company for backing an unrealistic deadline for an entire new customer facing site design. 

Sure, I wish i didnt have to buy another shirt because someone forgot to take out chapstick from their pockets and it ruined my stuff in the washer. 

 

Smoking or no, this stuff still happens. At least your not risking your life, lungs, well being, and frankly, pissing money away on something that is useless. Also, at least you were actually able to catch that dog.....

 

Leave the past in the past. You are NOT a smoker, remember???

 

Nicotine is a stimulant. It does nothing to calm you down. I have found that doing something to take your mind off of your problems for a moment or two helps. It just so happens that us addicts used the result of taking a mental break, and gave smoking the credit. 

 

Go outside and take deep breaths. But don't you dare put a carcinogen loaded cancer causing agent in your mouth. 

 

One more thing, do you realize how much from cigarettes goes to your government in taxes? Don't you pay enough taxes? I know I do. 

[El Bandito]

Hey Tiff

 

Sorry I am late onto this.

 

Great work posting SOS. There are times when we all want a hand. You reached out and someone was here for you. That's what this place is all about. Great work.

 

I was an emotional wreck for a while...we completely change our body chemistry and our minds when we quit....it takes a while for everything to get back into balance.

 

We = me and you = non smokers by the way.

 

Sounds like a crap day....they still happen whether we smoke or not...well done for fighting the crave, and for posting here.

 

You got this!

[sharonsiff]

Hi Tiff

 

Like EB said you've got this as you said yourself you won't smoke, even though you want to. That's it really in a nutshell tbh just don't smoke even though you want to. The 'not wanting to' does come. I never thought it would for me and would have likely cyber bitch slapped anyone telling me it would come eventuality. I wanted it now! No such luck sadly but it did come you have my word.

 

Hang tight, don't smoke and post an sos everyday if need be..... do whatever you need to do ;)

[JackiMac]

Hi Tiff hope you are feeling a little better now, when the addiction grabs a hold of us and makes us question whether we are doing the right thing by quitting, just remember that you are stronger than the addiction each second that you tell the addiction NOPE is a second won against it, I was stressed out my box at work yesterday and boy would have given my right arm for a cigarette for a few seconds, then I realised the work would still be stressful, I would be even more stressed because I had broken the promise to me and that is NOPE , and after I worked through the crave I felt proud that I hadn't caved in, you can get passed the craves TIff and you will become stronger through them, if you need to reach out and Post and SOS then so be it, you are amongst friends here, people who care about you and who do not want to see you give in.  You can do this xx 

[jimmy]

  dear tiffany  sorry your having such a bad day but hang in there  smoking would only make you madder so don't do  it sit down get some ice water put your head phones in listen to some relaxing music and close your eyes for a few minutes it will be ok cussme if you have to just don't blow a great quit I did 2 times before but not anymore thanks to all of you  look at how you've help me In just the last year tiffany   freak some one out go hug your son or somebody you know could  use one  ((((((((tiffany)))  your a super non smoker    if you smoke ill cry and you don't want to make an old man cry do you   I don't think so   ktq sweety  :D :wub:

[Colleen]

Tiffany...

I tried to pop in here earlier today, but the connection on my phone wasn't happening for some reason.  Let us know how you are doing now..Getting through this struggle is going to make you much stronger in the long run.  Keep going, you can do this!

[Jenny]

I'm so sorry I wasn't here when you posted this.  I can see many other wonderful folks were though! 

 

Tiff, you are far from pathetic.  You are one of the strongest people I've met here.  What you're experiencing is part of the quit for most of us and it sucks.  What helped me in those moments was doing exactly what you did!  I would change my day around so that I could keep busy or distract myself from how I was feeling.  You got this!    Let us know how you're doing when you can.

 

xoxo

[babs609]

darn...I wasn't here either!  Sorry Tiffany!!  But....i am so proud of you and everyone else here for being here for you.  This is why the Quit Train Rocks!!!

 

If i even have a tiniest belief that circumstances in my life had anything to do with quitting smoking....that would be the biggest threat to my quit.  Even a sliver...not a crack in the belief system is allowed.  I trusted completely in what i learned and marched forward one day at a time.  It's the only way.

 

Believe it.  Achieve it.

 

 

You are right where you need to be in your quit, sister...everything that is happening to you is what's supposed to happen in order to get to the place that finally feels comfortable and at peace.  Until then...every time you jump a hurdle...the stronger and more confident you become.  You've got this.  The addiction will NOT WIN.   Not this time.  Not ever EVER again. 

[BAT]

Keep moving forward Tiff .... :)