Home from vacation

[...]

and feeling really sad. I miss my dad. Next to my children, he is like the charm of my life. We have always been so close and every time I leave him, I wonder if this will be our last vacation together. He's getting up in age, and I can just see him getting older.

 

And I don't want to smoke. But then again I do. It's like part of me says what am I doing this for? We all are gonna die eventually.

 

And then part of me says I don't want to have to quit again and I know this will pass.

 

I just miss him. I hate leaving him. And I know it's me being sad. We did have a really good time though. And back to the grindstone tomorrow.

[MarylandQuitter]

Glad you had a good time, Tiff.  None of us like to see our parents getting older.  It sucks and I hate it but such is life.

 

What you're going through right now regarding the dilemma to smoke or not to smoke is just one of the consequences of becoming a nicotine addict.  I have the same issues from time to time.  The longer you stay quit, although you still may think about smoking in situations like this, there will be no dilemma. 

 

You're right in that you don't want to quit again.  You're past that.  You know that you never want to go back to a life of smoking because it won't stop you from missing your Dad and it surely will not fill any kind of void.  What you're feeling right now is probably what your son feels when he sees you smoke.  He may not be able to verbalize it, but he feels it.  He knows it's killing you.

 

It's great to post when you feel like this and never stop doing it!  You're doing great, Tiffany.  :)

[Still winning]

I'm pleased you had a nice vacation. I'm sorry for you that it's come to an end and you're thinking along those lines. I hate the age we are where this is heavy on our minds. 

 

I'm so sorry you're feeling this but hear me here and I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, I really mean it to focus you not to upset anyone...

 

My Mama smoked for years, she kept meaning to quit but only managed it one month ago, after 50 year+ of smoking....  

I look after her now, my whole life is on hold until.....,

her whole life is medications and panic ....

don't do that to YOUR kids...

 

Breath through it, cry through it.  Emotions are mental pain and my heart is with you for that my lovely, but smoking is really frikkin bad for you! Don't rationalise that. 

 

((Tiff))

 

xx

[beacon]

I understand how you feel I think. Since I turned 50 this year, i have been in a middle aged crisis and I think alot about this stuff. My mom is older and ill.....

 

I think that even though we are all going to die, we need to think about the quality of our lives of course. I personally am trying to eat right, stay active, sleep, reduce stress etc so that I will live longer and be up and about longer.

[sharonsiff]

Aww Tiff it's horrid that our parents get old isn't it? We forget we're getting 'older' too and just see them getting old and changing.

 

Tiff, please don't look for gremlins in your mind that feed back what's the point, you'll find loads!

 

You likely want a huge hug and some sort of comfort and likely thing a cigarette is what normally works. Find an alternative comfort Tiff, the cigs don't work, there are other ways to find a pick me up comfort.

 

I'm sending you a cyber ((((hug)))))

 

You must not let emotions, like this, damage your current resolve. Chin up or have a cry, both if you need but don't give ciggy thoughts any mental airtime.

[Doreensfree]

Aww tiff,

I do understand......

With Tony's bad health ,nicky feels the same when she has to go home.....

But sweetie smoking would not change it......its took my brain a long time to understand this.....

Smoking won't make things right or different.....

I'm sure you dad is so proud of your quit......

Stay strong ,you have a great quit going....

Hugs

[action]

I just want to give you a big hug Tiffany... I know it's hard, bit smoking will not help your dad getting older. Life happens, and we just have to make it count and create some wonderful memories for the future. And nonsmoking memories will be better than smoking memories!

[Nicole Diver]

Welcome back Tiff. I think what you are feeling is normal. Doesn't make it much fun though. Think of how proud you are making your dad.

[Frezflops]

yeah it stinks to watch our parents and grandparents age.....treasure the moments while you have them........I lost all three of my parents :( and all sets of grandparents are gone also.......I am an orphan ....I miss them (mostly my dad) I did not know my real mom she died when I was 3 and although I loved my step-mom (she raised me from 3) she had some mental issues that were unresolved which put a bit of a wedge between us .....but my dad he was an awesome man and he was a strong man .

 

 

Will someone adopt me maybe? :) 

[Pippa]

Welcome back Tiffany - glad you got to spend a good time with your dad and family. I know how hard it is to watch someone get older - but I think that just makes it all the more important to make the most of the time you can spend with them - and I bet he was super proud of you for not smoking !

[Tink]

give dad lots of hugs and kisses im sure he knows how much you love him and i bet he is proud of your quit xx

[El Bandito]

Can't put it better than it has already been put above.

 

You had a fantastic holiday in great health. Stay quit and your kids will be able to have many many vacations with a healthy and vibrant you...smoke and they may not.

 

No real dilemma there.

 

You are doing great Tiff.

 

Nasty craves have become nagging thoughts, soon they will become vague memories..

 

Keep Rocking!

[...]

Thanks y'all. I appreciate all the logic reasoning. I need to hear it.

 

I am really shocked at how this has made a complete turn. I was so happy about me quitting just a few days ago and now I seem to not even care anymore. I guess the "foreverness" is hitting me. I'm not excited about quitting anymore. I'm even questioning whether this is something I really wanna do. I'm tired of living my life revolved around not smoking. To me, it's the same thing as living it revolved around smoking. What's the freaking difference ? It's still a cigarette. Or not.

 

But I also know, through this last year of a lot of learning, that this is just a phase. And I'm gonna wait it out. I know that I will be so much happier once I get through this stage.

 

I'm just out of sorts. I'll get better.

[MarylandQuitter]

Thanks y'all. I appreciate all the logic reasoning. I need to hear it.

 

I am really shocked at how this has made a complete turn. I was so happy about me quitting just a few days ago and now I seem to not even care anymore. I guess the "foreverness" is hitting me. I'm not excited about quitting anymore. I'm even questioning whether this is something I really wanna do. I'm tired of living my life revolved around not smoking. To me, it's the same thing as living it revolved around smoking. What's the freaking difference ? It's still a cigarette. Or not.

 

But I also know, through this last year of a lot of learning, that this is just a phase. And I'm gonna wait it out. I know that I will be so much happier once I get through this stage.

 

I'm just out of sorts. I'll get better.

 

Smoking WILL kill you.  That's the difference between your life revolving around smoking or not smoking.

 

What do you think people mean when they say that you have to protect your quit at all costs, especially at the beginning?  You're life should revolve around not smoking when you first quit.  It may need to revolve around not smoking for a year.  Who knows?  Does it matter?  What matters is that you protect your quit and don't ever smoke again.

 

Yes, not smoking is for the rest of your life.  It takes work, thought and planning.  It takes being aware of situations and triggers before they happen which is why you must keep not smoking at the forefront of your thoughts at the beginning.  Once you learn your new habit of not smoking, these things will come naturally and your former smoking self will be that of a distant memory.

 

You're doing great, Tiff.  Don't you dare give your life away again.  Own it.

[El Bandito]

Tiff, I found it useful to think on a few things...

 

1. How do I feel different as a non smoker?

2. Hey. I quit. Do I need to think about that? Nope. I need to enjoy all of the things that I found in 1.

3. Hey. I quit. What now? Hmmm...I'm not as fit as I should be......

 

Tiff. You have wrested control of your life from one of the most addictive and destructive activities on the planet.

 

You rock.

 

Don't just tell yourself. Buy a reward. Post here what you bought. You deserve it!

[Doreensfree]

Tiff MQ is so right,

My hubby and I smoked together all our marriage,we are both retired now,are we having a lovely time together,doing all the nice things you want to do after working all your life .....no.....

Hubby has to be attached to a oxygen machine 16 hours of every day,just take a moment of your time to try and imagine what this entails,and if it was you.....

I joined the board because I was in danger of having both my feet amputated......try and picture that too.

It's so important you keep your quit.....

Please don't smoke tiff.....you have the chance here.....not to end up like us......

Hugs

[El Bandito]

(((Doreen)))

 

I am not a brackets man, but that post I will keep for ever.

 

Doreen you are quite possibly the bravest most giving person I have never met..god bless you and Tony.

[jimmy]

dear tiffany sorry your sad  but hang in there smoking wont help anything and I bet your dad was glad you had quit   I know I am very proud of you   do what ever it takes if you have to cuss do it just don't give up  look how many others you've helped to keep there quit   we respect you and love ya   ((((((((tiffany)))))))))  :D :wub:  :air_kiss:

[Doreensfree]

(((Doreen)))

I am not a brackets man, but that post I will keep for ever.

Doreen you are quite possibly the bravest most giving person I have never met..god bless you and Tony.

Awww thanks stu,

I'm so pleased to have met you too.....your sense of humour,has been a huge influence to my quit.....

It's coming to this board and having a daily laugh ,that helps me keep afloat.....

I find some good amongst the bad....

Hugs xxxx

[MarylandQuitter]

Doreen, you're a wonderful woman.

[Still winning]

((Doreen)) wish it were different. xx

 

((Tiff)) A phase yes. Just ride it out honey and hold on. xx

[Nancy]

Thanks y'all. I appreciate all the logic reasoning. I need to hear it.

 

I am really shocked at how this has made a complete turn. I was so happy about me quitting just a few days ago and now I seem to not even care anymore. I guess the "foreverness" is hitting me. I'm not excited about quitting anymore. I'm even questioning whether this is something I really wanna do. I'm tired of living my life revolved around not smoking. To me, it's the same thing as living it revolved around smoking. What's the freaking difference ? It's still a cigarette. Or not.

 

But I also know, through this last year of a lot of learning, that this is just a phase. And I'm gonna wait it out. I know that I will be so much happier once I get through this stage.

 

I'm just out of sorts. I'll get better.

Oh, Tiff, so sorry you are missing your Dad...I understand how you feel

 

The difference (as you know) between living your life around smoking or living your life around not smoking is that eventually you don't have to keep living your life around not smoking...you don't think about it any more. If you start smoking again, it will rule your life (and most likely your death) until you get your forever quit.  (((Tiffany)))

[sharonsiff]

(((Doreen))) it just shows how dangerous it all is doesn't it? The 'it'll never happen to me"...puff, puff. Gutted, just gutted for you both.

 

Tiff.... stop it, just stop it thinking that way!

 

You sound frustrated, under stably so, all nice and Dandy then WHAM.... the thoughts come. That's the thing though really it is frustrating at times, bloody frustrating! If you can accept that there is no quick fix and it's tough luck really but just part of it then it gives you a finish line in sight. The ironic thing the frustration is on full belt because you can't smoke yet we forget that we only feel likebthis because we did smoke, ironic really.

 

 

Smoke and you'll feel pi##ed off....

 

Don't smoke and you'll feel pi##ed off, at times, but that is only temporary and will eventually vanish, as if by magic.

 

I make choice number 2, through gritted teeth at times- hated it truth be told, but can never begin to explain to you how glad I am I did. You've got choice in you too....head down, drack on and eyes on the prize.

 

Them's the choices Tiff and the reality of the situation.