Junkie thinking #3

[Susana]

This quit of mine is proving to be a b**ch of a quit :sorry2:

 

I´ve thrown away at least two perfectly easy-peasy quits this year. One of 6 weeks :cray:.  I also threw away a rubbish quit at around Easter. One horrible month of constant craving day-after-day-hour-after-hour-day-and- night. I couldn´t put up with that any longer. I blamed it on the lack of preparation and on bad attitude at that time.

 

So this time I´ve been getting myself prepared, reading, self-hypnotising, changing the chip... well I must have done something wrong, because this quit is far from easy-peasy. It is the second worst so far .

 

I´m dwindling. Not as bad as to post this in the SOS forum, but bad enough to admit it here. I always do my best to appear positive and encourage other people, "fake it ´til you make it"... but some times I lose the connection to my "thinking" brain. I´m exhausted. And it is only day 5.

.

 

 

 

[Still winning]

"I am very fed up of the mood swings I'm having, it's not good for me or my gang. I am still unsure what's me and what's champix so I've stopped taking it today. It's day 5. I do struggle at times, not gonna lie, yesterday was a claw through day."

 

One of my earlier posts copied above - "hint", it wasn't the champix lol.

 

There's nothing wrong with your quit honey, it's just a bad day, not a bad life, I promise!!  I bet tomorrow will be brilliant, it always gives you a break after a bad day. Trust me. And hugs ((Susana)).

 

Ok, so now it's a bootstrap day - what you gonna do?  Hard boiled sweets, nope shuffle, put on some music and bust some moves, go for a long walk, or swim, or on the crazy bike thing??  Pick your choice of activity :)  We're here. Keep talking if talking helps. 

 

You absolutely can get through this!

It will not always feel like this!

 

xx

[Susana]

Thanks, Marti. You are right. You know.

 

I know too... too bad that some times I fall in the dark hole and can´t see before my eyes.

 

When I posted the "Junkie thinking #1" I thought I would relapse. I could see myself coming. However, the gum helped ease the physicality of the cravings, and then I was kept busy for over 2 hours driving around heavy traffic and cursing at the idiots that don´t know how to take roundabouts, and by the time I came back I felt really empowered. I did it! I didn´t do it! I kept my quit!.

 

That´s what I have to remember. How good it feels after every little victory.

 

Every morning my first thought is... "nobody wakes up and says "I´m glad I relapsed yesterday"". Hmmmm.... I´ll have to write this with eyeliner on my mirror, where I already have written "N.O.P.E." (red lip liner), "Do Not Smoke" (brown), "A smoker doesn´t smoke, not one, not ever" (blue) and "Smoking is Not an Option" (green).

[Jenny]

What you're experiencing is perfectly normal, as Marti demonstrated with her post.  There will be more days like that to come, but sunny days too.

 

I faked it until I made it for a long time.  I even remember some who quit at the same time seemed to be "over it" before I was.  I carried on, faking it, until the day came

that I realized I was not faking it any longer.  In fact, I had not even thought of smoking in a long time.  It happens for all of us.  Some sooner and some later but always to everyone.

 

In the meantime, take smoking off the table.  Acknowledge how you feel, scream and yell even, but do not smoke.  It's the only way.  You must remove the nicotine from your system and retrain your body and mind.  You can do this Susana!  You don't give yourself enough credit.  You are a warrior!  Put your battle face on girl!!!

[Paul723]

Marti is right, stay busy!

[El Bandito]

Suck it Up Susana.

 

sorry - no easy way to say it. 

 

DO NOT start rationalising a relapse. Relapse is simple. You stop trying.

 

This time - you are NOT going to stop trying. You are going to keep trying. You might shout, scream, swear BUT YOU WILL NOT SMOKE.

 

Got it?

 

Come swear at me Susana. Call me a mean SOB - kick my ass. Bring it on Spanish Girl. 

 

YOU WILL NOT SMOKE. 

 

NOT TODAY

 

NOT TOMORROW

 

You've got this Susana - you have absolutely got this!

[action]

Susana, I truly believe that the harder the quit, the more likely you are to keep it... If it was easy, then it is easy to throw it away. If it is hard earned, then you really (really, really) don't want to loose it, because you've earned it with blood and sweat and tears :)

 

From where I'm sitting, I have a good feeling about your quit this time :)

[Devil Doll]

Susana when the quit is hard remember that tomorrow will suck less than today does. That is what got me through all of my rough patches... the thoughts were "Well today sucks but it sucks less than yesterday did." You got through yesterday and you don't want to repeat it. You can do this, I know that you can. 

[Tink]

susana 

 

i had to hold on to mine on many occasions screaming and kicking

 

I made my quit worse by thinking i was giving up something, but when I was shown that I am not giving up anything I quit my attitude changed and things became alot easier

 

then life got complicated and stressful but i hung onto the above concept and that it will not change a dam thing if i smoked and i was not throwing in the towel after so much energy I put into my quit

 

I never really posted how hard some days were but coming through the other side I can tell you just hold on 

 

you are still in the early stages of withdraw your body and mind is healing and you are in training

 

you have done the practise runs and know it all sucks 

 

this is the main even susana you scream kick and vent whatever it takes until its becomes easy peasy

 

you cannot go through all this again!!!!

 

we are right there with you hun xxx

[Doreensfree]

I so agree with all that been said susanna,

At the beginning I white knuckled it.....but I had to do it this time.....serious health stuff.....

I was told smoking is not on the table...no matter what....

Some days I spend screaming just that......

But then one day,I didn't have to shout out.....it started to get better.....

Hang on to this quit.....

[Still winning]

Don't you be giving yourself thought processes of I might fall off.... that's done. Your thought process now is I will not smoke today, end of. So if I can't smoke what can I do to pass my time so that I get past this point.  Distraction is a BIG thing. 

 

You have 5 days in your pocket, you hold onto to that and force yourself forwards. Sometimes it's baby steps in time, minute by minute and sometimes a longer period of time...but all is forward. 

 

We've got your back! We've been there, it's going to get easier, it really will, just don't give in today. xx

[Still winning]

How you doing?

What you doing?

 

x

[Susana]

How you doing?

What you doing?

 

x

[Susana]

I have a new phone. Reading and liking what i reqd. Just found out that if i tilt the phone the keyboard gets BIGGER!

[Susana]

"Keep busy" you said... "keep your dingera buzy" you said... ;-);-):-P

[Still winning]

I think new toys like phones are a great idea to keep busy! :) 

[sharonsiff]

Susana....first things first it's no wonder each quit feels different. I once read about this on a health forum but can't for the life of me find it now, sorry...so bear with me.

 

Everyone has completely different bio chemistry-everyone. So it said that due to current bio chemisrty and changes in diet and other things each quit can feel different. It explained in detail sadly I'm not able. I remember reading though about the tobacco smoke gives people different things that they are used to (remove nicotine from your mind here I'm talking about the other super charged crap) so maybe this quit physically feels harder due to whatever chemical cocktail is suddenly missing? Made a lot of sense when I read it but am struggling to explain it well.

 

So, if this is not Easy Peasy quit and is crapsville quit- good. You can then at least see what the chemical cocktail's absence is doing to you, can maybe make you say 'errr don't think so!, ain't putting myself through this shyte again!' Use that it's tough to spur you on as if you do you will honestly never, ever, have to do any of this ever again-ever.

 

Trust me on this if nothing else...if it's tough suck it up, accept it's due to smoking in the first place and not really because you now can't. Suck it up and you have my word it does get better, it really truly does and at worst if it doesn't and ciggs were acting as a self medication for anti depressants (which many folk find out they were) then give it a set time and chat to your doctor.

 

If you don't feel you need nrt or meds great but if you do then use them-do whatever you need to do to make this your solid quit.

 

Hope I didn't confuse you, I confuse myself at times ;)

[El Bandito]

Keep on keepin on Susana.

 

You are hours away from ticking off that Hell week.

 

Smoking is Not an Option.

[Pippa]

Hey Susana - how are you going - you can so do this and we all want to celebrate the completion of hell week with you

[jimmy]

hang in there Susana you can do this keep fighting my friend we are here for you but we cant do this for you we can help you though by being here to support you and talk you through the craves I have faith in you so rock this foever quit   youllbe surprise at how quick time goes by   next time you get a crave go to  the beach and chase the birds then youll be to tired to smoke just kidding trying to make you laugh  :D :wub: 

[El Bandito]

Susana!

 

Que tal?

 

What's up lady? You OK?

 

Check in please!