Discouragement

[Linda]

Well I was not even going to post this, but I thought it might help others

I gave in to my old demons when I had some things happen in my

life that I thought I could not handle. I knew better there is not just 

one!!! I have smoked some for the last 5 days. I am ashamed, angry,

at myself and hated to admit this on here. I said when I started this

last quit I don't know if I could do it again. It was so hard to get where

I was and I blew it!! I thought I had won the battle and I lost!!! So I hope

someone can learn from my weakness, it is like what I have read here

we are addicts and it can so easily suck you back in!! It did me, and trust

It is not a good feeling. I had so many good people and support here

not only did I let myself down, I feel like I let others down that helped

me get as far as I did. So please don't make the same mistake I did if

you are fairly new in your quit!! I was far enough in my quit I thought I

knew better!! Stay strong and fight the monster!! The sad part is I did

know better,because of the people here and I gave up!! So pissed at

myself and feeling very defeated. So fellow train riders stay strong!!

As I sit here in tears writing this. It sucks.I thought I had it beat!!

Edited July 18, 2022 by Linda

[DenaliBlues]

Hey, Linda. Thank you so much for writing about this. It does help to see your story here. I have felt on the knife edge of smoking lately, and your words help me feel less alone, less bonkers.  Did smoking for the last few days fix anything in your life? Tell me it didn't. I need the reminder! 

 

We've all fallen off the wagon before, I lost a long quit myself once. All can offer is that when that happened, I dearly wish that I had not resigned myself to the addiction again. I wish I had shaken it off and climbed back on the wagon right away. You can still remember what it was like to be free, all those quit muscles you built since Jan 2021 are still strong. They will hold you up!

 

 

[Paul723]

Don't be discouraged Linda.  Use this mistake to learn from and to build your resolve to break free from this addiction.  I'm glad you posted here to hold yourself accountable.  You can change and you can quit.  

[Linda]

@DenaliBlues I can tell you it did not change a damm  thing.

And  sad part of that deep down it wouldn't. The only thing it did

was make feel bad about myself. Right now I feel weaker than

I did in the beginning of my quit.

[AceWhite]

Being human sucks sometimes- we all make mistakes and no one is expected to be perfect

Hoping you're personal battles are under control

Now is the time to stick close & regain your composure

 

[Doreensfree]

Nothing saddens me more than seeing a soldier fall.....

No sermons ....Right ....you fell for the trap in thinking a cigarette will make a crappy time better ...

You won't be the first or the last Sweetheart....

It's what you do next that the most important thing ....

Carry on smoking until it kills  you eventually........or ...

Jump back in your seat ....And get back on track ....you know you can do it ...

Come - On Linda ....Let's get you Quit again

[jillar]

Aww man @Linda, that sucks that you caved instead of coming here to your support. Sometimes just looking at your ticker is enough to show you what you'll be giving up....

I hope you've destroyed whatever cigs you had and are ready to take your seat back?

[Linda]

@jillar Yes I looked and for sure realize it SUCKS big time!!!

Not feeling very strong right now.

[intoxicated yoda]

Shake it off @Linda don't let this one mistake define you.  you know how to get there.  

[jillar]

I agree, shake it off and get back to quitting! The sooner the better and I know you know this............

[DenaliBlues]

2 hours ago, intoxicated yoda said:

don't let this one mistake define you

 

+1 to what Yoda and Jillar said.

 

I don't mean to minimize what you are experiencing or how lousy you feel, @Linda. But the whole "I'm not strong enough" spiel is a false narrative. It's the addiction talking, causing you to view the world through a glass darkly. Because that's what addiction does to all of us. It skews our perceptions of the  facts - facts like the 550 plus days you were smoke free. You did not dream those days! They are part of you. You built up all kinds of coping skills during that time. Those skills and that quitting muscle memory is still inside you. 

 

 

 

 

  

Edited July 18, 2022 by DenaliBlues

[Boo]

What's done is done Linda.  You can't unsmoke a cigarette.

 

What you can do is make a decision right now to not smoke anymore.  

 

The most memorable lessons are often the ones that hurt a bit.  Hard lessons can set us straight and be a constant reminder of what not to do.  Those same hard lessons can be an albatross around our neck if we allow it to be.

 

Mistakes were made.  Lessons were learned.  Time to get back on track and move forward.

[Doreensfree]

I agree with Jillar ...coming here and telling us what you are feeling can sometimes be all it takes to keep.

a Quit ....I've seen alot saved this way ....

You have had time to feel clean ....smell better ,taste food better ,have more money ....not have stinky clothes 

and all the other horrible stuff smoking entails ....

Do you really want to go backward ..?

Your stronger than you think Linda...

 

 

 

[overcome]

4 hours ago, jillar said:

I agree, shake it off and get back to quitting! The sooner the better and I know you know this............

 

As with many things if we fall down, we get back up, shake it off and get back at it.....try not to get down on yourself! 

[Kris]

Just remember what an inspirtion to all you are. I have not done the cigarettes but I have my share of margaritas and chocolate malts thru the rough times.  Just throw it all out, buy some tequila and chocolate ice cream and join me. LOL

[Doreensfree]

2 hours ago, Kris said:

Just remember what an inspirtion to all you are. I have not done the cigarettes but I have my share of margaritas and chocolate malts thru the rough times.  Just throw it all out, buy some tequila and chocolate ice cream and join me. LOL

I kinda like your tool box Kris ... whatever works eh  ?

All roads lead to Rome ..just get your arse there ....

[Gus]

I hope that you are back to quitting Linda! This could happen to any one of us. The most important thing is that you immediately get back to quitting. I hope that you are feeling better about yourself this morning. We are all here for you.