Hi, I am new here and I am glad I found this forum

[11better11]

I have tried quitting several times and failed, and I have realized I cannot do it alone.

 

Sadly, I am a secret smoker so I don't really know how to talk to anyone about it IRL. But, reading all your posts on this forum makes me feel less lonely and gives me more confidence. 

 

Here's to the start of my quit journey  

[johnny5]

Welcome aboard, @11better11 You are making a great decision in quitting smoking.

 

1 hour ago, 11better11 said:

I have tried quitting several times and failed, and I have realized I cannot do it alone.

 

That was my situation.  I had made several attempts at quitting and it was the help, support, and knowledge I received from an online quit support group like this that really helped me quit for good.  There are many people here who can relate to what you are going through and offer advice and support.

 

Welcome.  It is great to have you here.

[garry mhudson]

Welcome 11better11. You can find support and knowledge here from folks that been through the quitting smoking from all different angles and methods. Stay close to the site and read the wealth of information here. We all share at least the desire to rid ourselves of the addiction. If you have reached that point, you have landed in a good spot. Stay close and keep your focus on what is important. You can do this just like so many others here have. Just want it and set your sights on a smoke free future. Best wishes and hope to see you kicking this habit.

[Gus]

Welcome aboard @11better11! I’m thankful that you found us and decided to hop on the train! YES! KEEP READING! Reading everything available on this site helped me more than anything else. Watching the videos available helped me to understand a lot of what was happening to me physically and mentally. Stay close and post anything that you might have an issue with and someone will help you along. Again, welcome!

[overcome]

You found the right place to help with quitting smoking @11better11 all the best to you!

[Boo]

Welcome aboard the Quit Train 11better11.  Good call on giving up the smokes.

 

8 hours ago, 11better11 said:

Sadly, I am a secret smoker so I don't really know how to talk to anyone about it IRL. But, reading all your posts on this forum makes me feel less lonely and gives me more confidence. 

 

You're amongst friends here.  

 

Grab a seat and stay awhile.

[Doreensfree]

Welcome about this Fabulous Train @11better11.

Glad you found us ....

I couldn't have rid myself of this killer addiction without the help of this forum. and the folks who travel along .

Quitting along  people who totally understand ...and get where you are is much easier than going alone ...

Make yourself a tool box ...we have lots of useful tips to help you do this ...

Our daily NOPE thread is a great place to start ...it's a promise to yourself ,you won't smoke the next 24 hours 

I found this a powerful tool ...

Looking forward to travelling along with you in your journey ..

[AceWhite]

Closet smokers are also closet quitters. You quit in public.

Embrace the closet quitter within-

Welcome to the train

[DenaliBlues]

Welcome aboard, @11better11.  You came to the right place to get support for your quit. We’re a quirky bunch, but we all understand what it’s like to try to kick this addiction. You can do this. Take the daily NOPE pledge and ride this train to freedom! 
 

[Kris]

I am almost at twelve months.  I know there is no way I could have done it without the people here.

You can talk about anything here.  We all have challenges in our everyday lives that we would like to think that we have to smoke to get thru it.  That is not true, I would come here and just spew all that out.  Everyone would tell me it will be okay, you will get thru it.  So far, so good,  and I did not even have to pay for a therapist. LOL They are all gems, they just don't know it.  You will see!!  

[jillar]

9 hours ago, Kris said:

I am almost at twelve months. 

You ARE at twelve months Kris, almost thirteen in fact, unless you know something we don't lol. You fought hard for every one of them too!!!

[Doreensfree]

Jillar is right Kris ....you have had your big Woohoo.....Lido Deck ...

We can have another party if you want ....we love a parteeeeee

[Kris]

Sorry about that, don't smoke but still enjoy a margarita.  Guess I enjoyed one to many LOL

[Doreensfree]

How you doing @11better11.

Those who stay close to the board are more likely to succeed

[11better11]

12 hours ago, Doreensfree said:

How you doing @11better11.

Those who stay close to the board are more likely to succeed

 

Not well, smoked again and I feel so lost. Not as confident as when I started this thread. Maybe I will smoke all my life. 

[intoxicated yoda]

Hi @11better11  We've all been there at one time or another.  A few things to keep in mind as you go through this.  1.  Quitting smoking is a process, not an event and sometimes a relapse is just part of the process.  I quit more times than I can remember before it stuck.  2.  It is an addiction and cigarettes were designed to get you addicted and keep you addicted.  It's an uphill battle but moving uphill makes you stronger.  Our grandparents and great grand parents didn't build the greatest society in history by walking downhill to school every morning...both ways.  3.  Feeling lost and a little depressed is pretty normal.  You are giving up your friend, your companion, except this friend is stabbing you in the back and ruining your life.  4.  Only you can motivate you to quit.  Having a tribe to help influence you to stick with it is what this forum is all about, but it all comes down to you keeping yourself motivated.  the resources are here with plenty of ex-addicts to encourage you along the way but none of us can quit for your.  and 5.  which is the most pertinent is that it is going to suck balls for quite a while, but once you get past that it's not so bad and you adapt and find things that you'd rather do than smoke.  We've all faced that monster and it is big and scary at first, but then you find out it the only teeth it has are the ones you give it and you can take them back whenever you choose.  Anyhow, hope this helps and hope you stick around on the train.  We all love seeing a fresh quitter succeed.

 

 

[DenaliBlues]

Please don’t give up, @11better11. We are not failures, we just got caught in the trap of a very powerful addiction. One that flourishes in the dark, and makes us feel lousy. 
 

But you can break free. Let some light in. Shake off your slip like a polar bear shakes off water. Post here on the Train about what you are going through. (We’ve been there, too.) Read the resources, let them sink in. Take it one day - or one hour or one minute - at a time. You can do this. 
 

[11better11]

16 minutes ago, DenaliBlues said:

Please don’t give up, @11better11. We are not failures, we just got caught in the trap of a very powerful addiction. One that flourishes in the dark, and makes us feel lousy. 
 

But you can break free. Let some light in. Shake off your slip like a polar bear shakes off water. Post here on the Train about what you are going through. (We’ve been there, too.) Read the resources, let them sink in. Take it one day - or one hour or one minute - at a time. You can do this. 
 

Thank you for the kind words and support. I smoked 5 and now I am crying so hard I feel so so disgusted at myself why do I keep doing this. Its like I am being pulled apart by two forces one that says "I need to quit" and one that says "I need to smoke"

19 minutes ago, intoxicated yoda said:

Hi @11better11  We've all been there at one time or another.  A few things to keep in mind as you go through this.  1.  Quitting smoking is a process, not an event and sometimes a relapse is just part of the process.  I quit more times than I can remember before it stuck.  2.  It is an addiction and cigarettes were designed to get you addicted and keep you addicted.  It's an uphill battle but moving uphill makes you stronger.  Our grandparents and great grand parents didn't build the greatest society in history by walking downhill to school every morning...both ways.  3.  Feeling lost and a little depressed is pretty normal.  You are giving up your friend, your companion, except this friend is stabbing you in the back and ruining your life.  4.  Only you can motivate you to quit.  Having a tribe to help influence you to stick with it is what this forum is all about, but it all comes down to you keeping yourself motivated.  the resources are here with plenty of ex-addicts to encourage you along the way but none of us can quit for your.  and 5.  which is the most pertinent is that it is going to suck balls for quite a while, but once you get past that it's not so bad and you adapt and find things that you'd rather do than smoke.  We've all faced that monster and it is big and scary at first, but then you find out it the only teeth it has are the ones you give it and you can take them back whenever you choose.  Anyhow, hope this helps and hope you stick around on the train.  We all love seeing a fresh quitter succeed.

 

 

I have been reading the resources and the NOPE thread and you know what I feel? This is going to sound stupid af but I think this is a safe space to share this. 

 

I feel inadequate reading success stories. They can but I cannot so there must be something wrong with me. 

 

Crazy thinking no?

[intoxicated yoda]

it's not crazy.  I never thought I could quit, seriously.  It took me almost a year to finally jump off the cliff and really do it.  Don't look at this as a failure.  Try to understand why you relapsed.  Then see if you can come up with a plan to prevent it in the future.  There is nothing wrong with you.  You are just matched up against an addiction that you have convinced yourself you can't beat.  Once you convince yourself that you can beat it you will.  And as long as we are sharing things, when I got about 2 months into my quit and things seemed to be getting harder I thought something was wrong with me and hated everybody else for it.  the addiction puts all kinds of crazy thoughts in your head.  just let them come and go.  don't judge yourself and don't light up.  

Edited July 18, 2022 by intoxicated yoda

[DenaliBlues]

Not crazy or stupid. Just addicted and discouraged. Been there.
 

I was skeptical of success stories, too. They felt unattainable. Some people found quitting to be joyful, less difficult than expected. I salute them. But my own quit, after 40+ years of heavy smoking, was not a happy scene of frolicking unicorns and carefree rainbows. It has been a grim, white-knuckled, miserable uphill climb out of a deep pit… and I am still climbing. I need lots of creative strategies, and I used NRT as a temporary crutch. It ain’t pretty. But I am doing it, one day at a time. So can you. Haven’t seen a success story out there yet that you can relate to? Okay, write your very own. And tell us about it along the way. 
 

If I learned anything from my past relapses it’s that shame is useless. It fed the addiction and sped my slide back down into the pit, time and again. Things started to change for me when I ditched the shame and, instead, got angry about being controlled by nicotine, and got and curious about what it would take for me to quit. 
 

What will your turning point be?

[Doreensfree]

The Tobacco Company's work very hard to keep the poor smoker addicted ...

Don't feel shame ,we have all been there .....

This is a killer addiction ,never give up giving up.....

Understanding this addiction will be your weapon ...the more you know ,the more you can fight ...

Make sure you read all the great information on our Main Smoking Message Board ,the threads pinned with green ,it is full of great stuff to help you fight ...

Watch all Joel's video,s ...He covers most concerns ...

Have you read Allen Carr the easy way ...another get tool to have ,he helped alot of us ,reading this book is a eye opener ...

Set a day ....come here pledge ....stick close ..post all the time if you need too...

Don't stick anything in your mouth and set fire to it ...No Matter WHAT !!!!!!

YOU can do it ....there is a train full of quitters who know you can ...

Make the commitment....and stick to it .

[Boo]

16 hours ago, 11better11 said:

Maybe I will smoke all my life. 

 

Smoking is only a life-sentence if you allow it to be.

 

I resigned myself to a lifetime of smoking on many occasions.  Even rationalized it with the old "I'd rather die young and happy than old and miserable" line of thinking.

 

The addiction was in complete control right up until the moment I decided to take back control of my life.  It was a challenge at times, but I've never once regretted quitting.

 

15 hours ago, 11better11 said:

Its like I am being pulled apart by two forces one that says "I need to quit" and one that says "I need to smoke"

 

The Quitter's Paradox: I don't want to be a smoker but I sure would like a cigarette.  Every single quitter has had to deal with these contradictory thoughts.

 

To successfully quit, you have to get comfortable with being uncomfortable.  It won't last forever.  Quitting gets easier with time and eventually becomes an afterthought.

 

There is no way around the early challenges; you simply get through them.  

 

15 hours ago, 11better11 said:

I feel inadequate reading success stories. They can but I cannot so there must be something wrong with me. 

 

There are no superheroes here.  None of us posses otherworldly powers.  If any of us put on a cape and jump off the roof, we will simply fall to earth and probably require medical attention.

 

What differentiates us is that one day we all decided that we wanted to quit more than we wanted to smoke...That's it!

 

Everybody here knows you can quit, we have no doubt.  I sincerely hope you join us in believing in your ability to quit.

[overcome]

13 hours ago, Doreensfree said:

The Tobacco Company's work very hard to keep the poor smoker addicted ...

Don't feel shame ,we have all been there .....

This is a killer addiction ,never give up giving up.....

Understanding this addiction will be your weapon ...the more you know ,the more you can fight ...

Make sure you read all the great information on our Main Smoking Message Board ,the threads pinned with green ,it is full of great stuff to help you fight ...

Watch all Joel's video,s ...He covers most concerns ...

Have you read Allen Carr the easy way ...another get tool to have ,he helped alot of us ,reading this book is a eye opener ...

Set a day ....come here pledge ....stick close ..post all the time if you need too...

Don't stick anything in your mouth and set fire to it ...No Matter WHAT !!!!!!

YOU can do it ....there is a train full of quitters who know you can ...

Make the commitment....and stick to it .

 

Words of wisdom above for sure - I am only 2 weeks (smoke free) and reading Allen Carr's book ..... wish I would have read it BEFORE I set a quit date. But it is working out for me so far. Do not get down on your self, brush yourself off and get back at it, all the best to you!  

[Mac#23]

Welcome aboard 11better11, you have made the right choice to quit smoking and to join this fabolous group. We will support you all the way but you must believe you can do this. You must have faith and you must put in the hard work to achieve the goal of forever quit. I won't sugar coat it because it is hard work but it is totally achievable. You just have truly want to live a happier and healthier life.

[11better11]

On 7/18/2022 at 2:19 PM, Doreensfree said:

The Tobacco Company's work very hard to keep the poor smoker addicted ...

Don't feel shame ,we have all been there .....

This is a killer addiction ,never give up giving up.....

Understanding this addiction will be your weapon ...the more you know ,the more you can fight ...

Make sure you read all the great information on our Main Smoking Message Board ,the threads pinned with green ,it is full of great stuff to help you fight ...

Watch all Joel's video,s ...He covers most concerns ...

Have you read Allen Carr the easy way ...another get tool to have ,he helped alot of us ,reading this book is a eye opener ...

Set a day ....come here pledge ....stick close ..post all the time if you need too...

Don't stick anything in your mouth and set fire to it ...No Matter WHAT !!!!!!

YOU can do it ....there is a train full of quitters who know you can ...

Make the commitment....and stick to it .

Yes I read Allen Carr's book and it made me feel guilty and ashamed and I started smoking more. The moment of freedom and exhilration never came. Every no-smoking forum hails his book as the cure all but it had no effect on me. That big monster little monster analogy makes no sense.