I can´t wait to quit

[Susana]

I can´t wait to…  NOPE every morning, and start the day with a positive outlook

I can´t wait to… celebrate every night another smokeless day and go to bed happy

I can´t wait to… have enough money to pay the bills and maybe some treats

I can´t wait to… wake up full of energy

I can´t wait to… wake up without a cough

I can´t wait to… stop smelling my hands and washing them compulsively

I can´t wait to… wear lipstick

I can´t wait to… smell nice

I can´t wait to… be more relaxed generally

I can´t wait to… recover my running fitness

I can´t wait to… feel more self-confident and increase my self-esteem

I can´t wait to… (list in progress)

 

This time I´ve chosen a different strategy. I´ve joined the board whilst I´m still smoking, whilst I´m still changing the “chip”. I´m reading avidly. Allen Carr´s book is in my handbag.

 

I am focusing on the positives. I want to WANT to quit. I want to approach this quit as an exciting project, a wonderful journey, a gift to myself. I know I may encounter hard times but I want to focus on the good times and the wonder of freedom, which is my destination.

 

What is dragging me? The fear of failure. I can´t afford another failure. As somebody put it… “I may not have another quit in me”. That´s exactly what I have come to feel. And I have a lot to invest in this quit. It has to be final. I owe it to myself after all the torture I´ve put myself through in the last months.

 

My quit deadline is the 15^th of July, with the something-something-moon. It may all be looney-balooney but a good friend of mine believes in those things. And I am ready to hold on to any looney-balooney that may work in my favour. It may be before that though. I feel I´m ready and another week seems a long way. But… have I said I´m terrified of failing?

 

That´s why I´m here now. I want to feel I´m part of the group. I want to be able to interact. I want to start my blog and I want to feel helpful. I need a last push. I need to get the junkie thinking and the hard love out of the way, for as much as possibly feasible, BEFOREHAND.

 

So… hello. My name is Susana and I´m an addict. And I can´t wait to free myself from this awful addiction once and for all.

 

 

 

[Tink]

Hi Susana welcome :)

 

Please dont fear the quit  Yes the first few days will be uncomfortable and from there there maybe a mental battle going on but stick to the board read and interact as much as possible and the support here will help you through all that

 

To carry on smoking now that is something to be fearful of, to lose one's health or die a slow undignified death

 

That scares me for sure

 

The longer you take to quit the more time the addict and junkie thinking has to argue why you should not today!

 

Jump as soon as you can an  let's get this quit underway

 

Congratulations on improving your life because it will!

 

We are all with you every step of the way xx

[Doreensfree]

Hi and welcome susanna.,

You can do it......jump in with both feet.....one day at a time......

You can do it.....

Hugs

[action]

Hi Susana, great to see you, and what a positive attitude you have brought along!!!

 

We can do this together - interact as much as you can and we will support you through the hard times. I'm so excited that you are getting ready for your sticky quit :)

[jimmy]

hey Susana welcome back I was thinking about last night  don't be scared you can do this   we are here for you  missed you   hola Susana   let your freedom begin  your not alone   :D  quita says glad your back just hang tight sister we are always here for you . :air_kiss:

[Frezflops]

HI Sue, welcome I am happy to see you here......:) remember to stay close to the board on that date if you can and post when you need help or if you want to vent. 

[Jenny]

Thrilled to have you here Susana!  You know we are behind you 1000% 

 

You got this!!  xoxo

[...]

I'm so glad to see you here.

 

You just made my day. 

[ChRiSpY]

SueRose!!!  Make a plan.  Why have you failed in the past quits.  What makes you smoke again?  You GOT TO BE READY.  You know there is a sh*tstorm coming your way... how are you going to combat it???  What are you going to do when you feel like crap because your body is in withdrawal???  how are you going to get past it this time?

 

Get strong...get your mind right and lets do this... this time!  No going back...back sucks.

 

Keep on going!!!

[Susana]

Thank you for the welcome!!!!

 

I´ve been working on this quit. I´ve done some test runs (abstaining without the intention to commit, just to observe myself). I´ve been reading a lot, and I attended a 10-hour coaching seminar on Saturday. These are the findings:

 

- Physical cravings are few and far between. The worst are in the morning, after brushing my teeth. These will need attention as they happen even after running and chucking OUT a lung which is disconcerting and annoying. I will pledge, do my run, and have breakfast in front of this board. This helped last year and will help this time too. Once I´m in the office or out and about working, I´m safe. Swimming, running, walking, cycling, deep breaths, drinking cold water seem to work well in the physical side.

 

- Mental cravings are worse. They are everywhere. I have succumbed to mental cravings before. This is where I´m focusing my work.

 

a) SNOT. Smoking is not an option. Repeat. Repeat. Once I BELIEVE that smoking is not an option, I stop entertaining the tempting thoughts. It is not an option, I don´t smoke, not for me. Not on the menu. Not today. This has worked in the past too.

 

b) Positivity. Allen Carr. Cigarettes do NOTHING for me. They only do things AGAINST me: they make me sick, they take my money, they make me smell. Good riddance!!!. I have to BELIEVE this as I believe my name is Susana, until it gets engraved in my brain and I don´t need to force this thought into my mind.

 

Now, the biggie: my nemesis comes when I feel "down". I can reach this point where "nothing matters". I feel I´m a failure professionally, an ugly nag, a nasty bit of shite that deserves nothing... and then that thought of "nothing matters" creeps in and I reach for the pack. I think it is for me a kind of self-harm. I did see a Psychiatrist and a Psychologist last year but they were useless, or maybe I was more complicated than they expected... :-(

 

On Saturday I went through a few workshops. I´m still digesting what I learned. They gave me some tools to avoid those "down" moments, to see them coming and prevent them, to increase my self-esteem (which surprise surprise wasn´t as low as I always thought), to embrace fear (it reminded me of "embracing the craving"). I have lots of references to read and a few tests and things to keep me entertained if I need enlightening. But... there is a but...

 

There will be times when I have to go through really bad days. There may be times when I will feel "down" and the walls that keep away the "nothing matters thought" may start to weaken. This is when I´ve relapsed in the past. How can I prevent this in the future? I´M NOT SURE :-( By being more open, maybe?. If I feel a bad moment coming, that may jeopardise my quit, I´ll tell people about how I´m feeling. I´ll tell my "real friends" in person, go for a glass of wine and talk about it, and if I have to cry I´ll cry, and if I need a hug, just ask for a hug?. And I´ll post about it. I´ve always been very afraid of being too "personal" on the board, whereas I did open my mind and soul to a couple of friends by PM or email. This time I will post. In public. Or vent. Or whatever. And if everything fails and I reach the "nothing matters" point, I will make a mission of posting an SOS. Fffff.... HERE lies my worry.

[Petra]

You've got this Susana!!!

 

You CAN do it.  Know that in your heart and make it so.

[Fay]

Susana, it is so good to see you here!  I know you can do this!  Whenever you feel down, post and we will all give you a big hug!

[Nancy]

Welcome back, Susana!

[Paul723]

Susana, you should pre-respond to your own SOS.  Write a note to yourself in your own words from your own heart that you can read when you fall into "nothing matters".  Carry this note with you everywhere.  Read it so often that you only have to think about it in your pocket for your words to come back to you.  Cut off craves quickly (this helped me a lot).

[BonnieJ]

Nice to see you Susana

[sgt.barney]

If you "can't wait" then that begs the obvious question ...

 

Why wait?

 

 

 

 

 

Easy Peasy

[babs609]

Great to see you Susana!

 

Make this your best quit yet...the final one :)

 

You can do it....you can!

[sharonsiff]

Hello Susana and welcome.

 

I can relate completely to your approach and can understand you wanting to do the mental groundwork, getting that solid and secure. May I suggest a book that I really believe will help you remove the gremlins (the thoughts that lead you to lighting up). It isn't a quit smoking book but a fabulous tool to sort the wheat from the chaff in your mind. It's called The Chimp Paradox by Steve Peters and from reading your posts I really think it would be the last piece of the jigsaw for your sticky quit. You sound very much like me 'strong minded' yet the strong mind can be our worst ruddy enemy at times? The book has changed 'everything' for me as I'm now able to happily control/tame my mind, my chimp.

 

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2014/05/14/steve-peters-chimp-paradox_n_5321142.html

[JackiMac]

Hi Susana and welcome, the only thing that stops us quitting is ourselves, the fear of missing something, the addiction that has a hold of our brain and tells us, we cannot live without cigarettes, addiction is tough and hard, but it is us who allows the addiction to keep hold, I have been struggling for the last few weeks and I know I only have myself to blame, I am allowing the addiction to creep in, and everyday I push it back out again, I don't ever ever want to be a smoker again and am prepared to be strong on this, as you have to be too, jump in, no more dipping your toe in the water, we got you and we are here for you 100 % get your one way ticket and don't look back, looking forward to sharing your journey xx

[Colleen]

Welcome back Susana :)

[Pippa]

Welcome back Susana - remember we are here to support you if you need it

[beacon]

Susana,great to see you!

[Nicole Diver]

You always helped me at first, please let me know if there is anything I can do to help you.

[queen greenlover]

NOPE & I CAN do this (not HOPE I can) & an attitude of being bull-headed enough to stand your ground NO matter what life,relatives,nicodemon throws your way. Then we'll be celebrating  you becoming an ex smoker & a winner. :rolleyes:  :rolleyes: 

[Still winning]

Hi Susana,

 

I read your post and wondered if it would be ok to offer some thoughts. I hope so, we have some similar traits I think and maybe something will resonate with you :)

 

Quit date by 15th via the moon.  I'm assuming you refer to the full moon on sat 12th and the strength from that being 3 days, thus taking you up to the 15th? It's a capricorn moon and I see your taurus, so it's in an earth sign like you are and should flow nicely. However the energy lends itself 3-5 days either way, so if you feel ready, you would still be within the energy of this influence :)  I get some people think it nonsense, but the same people believe in the power of positive thingking/mind over matter etc and ultimately, it's all the same thing anyway - just using energy to help an existing will you have.

 

Private - yes! Apart from here. These guys know more than my family and t start with that didn't sit right at all. How can they help me, or you if they don't know us though, we have to let people support us when we're down and our own brain is being a bit crazy.

 

Lows - yes! A fellow emotional yo yo right here.  Hugs to you, it's so hard when you're fighting yourself. Have you considered meditation? I see you have exercise already and you're right, that's fab for craves but for calming my brain I used cigs - now I sob like a baby lol. Less often though.

 

I think your onto something with understanding the craves. When we smoke, we have craves all day, like every 20 mins or so it starts until we smoke and then it dies down. There are honestly far less craves when you take smoking off the table. Mindset is powerful, as is understand and education of addiction. I don't think we actually quit until we accept we are an addict to nicotine. I know very few people who would willingly accept being an addict and saying "oh yes, see you in 5 because I'm off to fulfill my nicotine addiction".  It kinda sticks in the throat - like smoking!

 

Too much rambling haha. Maybe something will help you.  Regardless of anything else, you absolutely can do this. Quitting smoking is the single biggest gift you can give to yourself on so many levels. Even when you crave, just hold on, post, cry, suck candies, sleep and wait and you will always be glad to be a non smoker.

 

Welcome! xx