6 day countdown to 31

[JustinHoot99]

Today is day 25.  In only 6 days, I will get my "1 month" token.  Obviously, every day not smoking is a win.  But we celebrate these "special" days to keep our spirits up and give ourselves a little boost.  I have a major challenge to face which is being alone for 4 days starting in 3 days.  I'll have 0 access to my car during that time to ensure getting access to cigarettes is as inconvenient as I can make it.  And obviously I'll be here getting support.  

Hope everyone has a smoke free day today.

[jillar]

@JustinHoot99, your quit date is February 28, 2022. So that means you'll be a month quit in just three short days on march 28, 2022! 

Isn't that awesome?!

[JustinHoot99]

39 minutes ago, jillar said:

@JustinHoot99, your quit date is February 28, 2022. So that means you'll be a month quit in just three short days on march 28, 2022! 

Isn't that awesome?!

I'm excited.  But I'm celebrating my 1 month quit based off of a full 31 days.  So I will celebrate Mar 31.  I will not be celebrating w/ a smoke however, no matter how many times my junkie brain suggests that is a good idea.  lol

[jillar]

1 hour ago, JustinHoot99 said:

I'm excited.  But I'm celebrating my 1 month quit based off of a full 31 days.  So I will celebrate Mar 31.  I will not be celebrating w/ a smoke however, no matter how many times my junkie brain suggests that is a good idea.  lol

Well not us! We celebrate the calendar months here and yours shows the 28th, so looks like you get two parties!  

 

[Doreensfree]

28 th it is ....

[johnny5]

Looking forward to your 1 month celebration.  You are doing great, @JustinHoot99

[Sunshine]

Well done Justin. I will be watching for you on the celebration thread. You are doing so great.

[AceWhite]

One month is a full rotation of rhe

moon which is 27.3 days, although new moon to new moon is 29.5 days. So there’s that to consider

[JustinHoot99]

39 minutes ago, AceWhite said:

One month is a full rotation of rhe

moon which is 27.3 days, although new moon to new moon is 29.5 days. So there’s that to consider

Well, I had to google that one.  Guess I'm a new moon to new moon kind of guy.  But what the heck, I'll take celebrations whenever I can find them.

 

[Linda]

You are doing great!!

[Sunnyside]

Not long now for a party!!

 

[JustinHoot99]

Day 26.  Join me in a smoke free day. 

I'm driving to the woods in a bit for my workout.  Naturally my brain reminds me I don't have any cigarettes and I should stop by the gas station and get some because I always smoke before the w/o to get me motivated.  

[DenaliBlues]

Good morning, @JustinHoot99. I'm with you and will make this a smoke free day, too. Like you, I'll be doing something that I always associated with smoking: being outside in the yard. The pattern of pairing that with smoking is so deeply ingrained, almost automatic. But I'm not going to be a nicotine-programmed robot anymore... today I have free choice. Thankful!

 

[jillar]

You guys got this! Happy smoke free Saturday  

[JustinHoot99]

Day 27.  I need to let my thoughts meander.

I must admit I was having some urges last night.  Not to go smoke right then, but brain kept dropping ideas regarding how I could sneak in a smoke w/o anyone knowing.  My brain is using that "nobody will know" logic on me.  It started yesterday afternoon when I took some old landscape wood from my home to the park to get rid of it.  Now dumping wood at the park is illegal of course. But this is a wooded disc golf course park and I've spent over 500 hrs volunteering to build the course, which includes burning over 100 piles of wood.  I dropped the wood in a spot I will be burning more trees and brush, so it will be gone soon.  Anyways, burning piles of wood there is an activity I associate w/ smoking.  I would get to the park around 5am, start a fire, and work till noon, clearing and burning.  That alone was very peaceful and enjoyable.  But I would also get a lot of cigarette breaks.  Physical activity out in the woods plus plenty of cigarette breaks.  I admit it was quite enjoyable.  But dumping the landscape wood got me thinking of burning (which I havent needed to burn anything in about 3 months) and strongly triggered the urge to smoke.  Nobody would know, right?  And I would come come stinking of burning wood so my wife would not smell the cigarette smoke.  And then I would be done until the next time I burned wood.  I could just do this once a month. That would be the rule.  Only once a month, or maybe only when I burned.
Of course, I've been down this "just once a month" and "nobody would know" road umpteen thousand times and it always fails.  
One = All.  That is the one truth my brain always wants to either forget, downplay, or ignore.

I can not have "just one".

I can not smoke, just once a month.

It is as impossible to smoke just "now and then" or "only when I burn brush".  

One = All.

I must not forget that.

[intoxicated yoda]

Integrity...it's what you do when no one is looking.  I used to repeat this to myself over and over whenever my brain and/or my body was in a full blown rebellion against my quit.  I can't say for sure it helped but it did remind me that I'm not quitting for anyone but me.  Telling yourself that "nobody will know" is a fallacy cause the most important person in your world will know.  

[Sunnyside]

Your right one = all but even if you could smoke once a month the only way cravings are going to stop is to keep going. Otherwise you will dealing with cravings forever. 

[DenaliBlues]

Good for you for saying all of this aloud @JustinHoot99. This addiction is tenacious. The farther I get into my quit, the more devious it becomes. It will resort to bargaining and deception, saying that smoking only once in a while would be comparatively harmless, that I can ration myself, that nobody needs to know... It’s all a trap. You speak truth when you say there is no such thing as “just one” smoke. Also, a perspective: My partner used to abuse substances when I was away on business trips or when she left the house alone. Her using was a problem for me, but it was the secrecy and evasion that almost destroyed our relationship. It made me realize that the “Nobody needs to know” idea is 100% Addict Mind. You’ve got a GREAT quit going. Sharing honesty is part of your strength. Your posts help me shine some light into my own dark corners, so thanks. We can do this!

[jillar]

Yep, I remember those voices too! Good on you Justin for seeing it for what it is!  

[Jordan7]

Yep, sounds familiar.  For a while, I spent most Fridays planning how I would smoke over the weekend and then quit again on Monday.  Luckily, I never went past the planning stage.  And you won't either -- you've got this, Justin.  

[jillar]

I also remember looking at ALL the cigarette butts in ashtrays outside of stores and on the ground thinking I could just smoke the rest of that, how gross is that?!  

[JustinHoot99]

Thanks everyone.  I knew everyone has experienced all the junkie thoughts I experience, but there is something about hearing/reading others state they had the same thoughts that is incredibly powerful.  Sometimes you just need to be told you are not alone even when you are in a crowded room.
I shall endeavor to persevere. (10pts for the one who can tell me what movie that phrase is from.)

[AceWhite]

Us addicts can very thoughtfully craft ways to sneak in a fix.

Bad part is we need to live with that decision 

Totally normal to be going thru these head trips- stay committed to the goal you're doing awesome and winning the battles

 

[Doreensfree]

.  Nobody would know, right?

 

You would know !!!!.......

Quitters have to be honest with themselves.....

It's that Nico Monster ...tapping on your shoulder ....ignore him ....your stronger than him ..

 

 

 

 

 

[jillar]

34 minutes ago, JustinHoot99 said:

Thanks everyone.  I knew everyone has experienced all the junkie thoughts I experience, but there is something about hearing/reading others state they had the same thoughts that is incredibly powerful.  Sometimes you just need to be told you are not alone even when you are in a crowded room.
I shall endeavor to persevere. (10pts for the one who can tell me what movie that phrase is from.)

 

How many points if we Googled it?