Hoping it's a virus...longing for a cigarette

[Kate18]

I've had the first medical appointment to kick off the referrals to a movement disorder neurologist to be assessed for neuromuscular disorders. We have both Parkinson's (five cases) and a disorder similar to ALS in the family. My symptoms are more like PLS (primary lateral sclerosis, which is what a sibling has) or ALS (amyotrophic lateral sclerosis). You may know of ALS because it's what Stephen Hawking had. My muscles feel as though I am weak and getting weaker. I have curious shooting sensations in my muscles here and there, stinging in my fingertips, and dizziness.

 

I hope it's a virus. I felt so weak today that I had to leave work early.  I really wanted a cigarette.  But we all know that cigarettes and smoking only make things worse in the long run, not better. To be more accurate, I wanted the "ahhh" sensation that smoking a cigarette used to give me after I'd not smoked one for a few hours.  

 

So I'm having a mango cider beverage. Lovely. And it won't pollute my lungs. The 9% alcohol level is an "aha" experience. It won't make the specter of ALS or Parkinson's go away, but it's a respite for a few hours while I watch YouTube on movement disorders and treatments--which there don't seem to be many of.

 

"There is never a reason to go back to smoking, no matter what you're facing." That's what I'm saying to myself today and for the next few months as I go through testing.

[JustinHoot99]

Sorry to hear about all these health issues and hopefully it is a simple virus.  Great for you for having the fortitude to not give in to the craving. 

[jillar]

I'm so sorry you're dealing with that @Kate18, and so glad you know that your quit is safe no matter what. I'm sending positive thoughts your way that it is a virus and can be cured with antibiotics. The not knowing is the hardest....

[Doreensfree]

Sorry to hear you struggling with your health just now Sweetheart....

I too hope it's a virus ...and can be dealt with quickly ....

Proud you have kept your precious Quit ..and see smoking for what it is ...No help at all..

Take care

[Sunnyside]

I really am hoping for the best for you. You sound like a strong woman. You know smoking won't help. Enjoy that mango cider, sound lovely  

[DenaliBlues]

Hi @Kate18. Thanks for sharing what’s going on with you. Apart from the symptoms you are having, it sounds really tough to be worried about what they might mean. Good for you for guarding your quit while you go through that uncertainty. That’s motivating for me. 

 

Enjoy your cider, too! Reading your post makes me realize that I have struggled a lot with self-soothing. Hard to say whether that was one of the reasons I started smoking in the first place, or whether my trouble self-soothing was actually a byproduct of the smoking, itself. (Because even >1 pack a day was not "enough." The nicotine crowded out everything else, even though "ahhh" was just a crappy disappointing illusion that always slipped away.) It will be interesting to see if quitting eventually changes that for me? Maybe when I hit the 2+ year mark like you I will know more!

 

Anyway, take good care and keep us posted.  

[Gus]

Sorry to hear that you are having health issues @Kate18. Definitely hoping that it’s a virus that’s got you down. Take care of yourself and please keep us updated.

[Jordan7]

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this, Kate.   I hope you get answers quickly and that is a virus or some other best-case scenario, and that you're feeling much better very soon.  Be good to yourself and try not to worry too much while you're waiting for answers.  And well done on realizing that there's not a damn bit of good a cigarette could do.  We'll be thinking of you and hoping to hear some encouraging news.  

[Linda]

@Kate18 So sorry for your health issues. I too hope for a simple virus.

The waiting for answers is hard. Hope for getting some soon. You will be in my prayers.

Good job guarding your quit.

[Kris]

It may not be a virus but don't assume the worst.  I think we all get anxious when we don't feel well.  I have done that many times.  Just advocate for your own care. Don't accept below the care you need. Just a pinched nerve in your neck can cause the muscle weakness in your body.  The important thing is to find out what is causing the problem, fix it or get the right medication to help you feel better.

You will be in my prayers!!

 

 

[intoxicated yoda]

So sorry to hear of your health issues.  Praying you find a resolution to it soon.  

[Angeleek]

Oh Kate, so sorry for your troubles. Hopefully it's nothing terrible like you are fearing. Great job guarding your quit in the meantime. Hope you have people around you physically to support you when you need it. And yes we are here to support you virtually. Try not to ruminate too hard while you go through the testing process. Best of luck and much strength to you. You got this regardless!