Giving up my car for 3 weeks this time.

[JustinHoot99]

Hi all, 
Last Sept I quit for around 40+ days then started again.  That was my most successful quit ever.  I started it by having my wife hide my car keys for 1 wk which meant I could not access cigarettes.  Since then, I've tried to quit about 6 times.  So I am starting again and this time I'm having my wife take away my keys again, but for 3 weeks.  I realize one has to learn to be able to say no under all conditions, but this will get me through the initial 3 days of chemical dependency, and makes it easier to unlearn some of the initial daily routines.  It's not impossible for me to access cigarettes as I could ride my bike the couple of miles to the store, it just makes it much, much less convenient.

 

And obviously I need to learn to change my ticker tape below.

 

Edited March 1, 2022 by JustinHoot99

[Sunnyside]

Hi @JustinHoot99 nice to have you aboard the train. Let's make this the sticky one.

[KEL]

@JustinHoot99So glad you are back! Our paths crossed in the fall and I have been wondering about you, praying that you would be back here. Sending strength your way....

[JustinHoot99]

1 hour ago, Sunnyside said:

Hi @JustinHoot99 nice to have you aboard the train. Let's make this the sticky one.

Good to be back again.  And congrats on coming up on 2mths.

[JustinHoot99]

Just now, JustinHoot99 said:

Good to be back again.  And congrats on coming up on 2mths.

Wow, look at you w/ almost 4mths.  I'd be something around that if I hadn't been a sphincter and had that 1 which led to another 1000.

 

[KEL]

I'm not sure if this is helpful but it seems to me it really sucks for about four months. Well, varying degrees of suckiness. I think if you can set the expectation that it is just going to be very challenging for that time, it relieves some of the confusion as to why its not getting better sooner.

I can honestly say at almost five months things are dramatically improved in ways I could not have foreseen. This board is one of the biggest reasons I have been able to move through the challenges without picking up again.

The other thing is that I also participate in a Nicotine Anonymous support group (on line) which allows me to connect with others who are struggling with their addiction as well as to celebrate victories of recovery. It helps to hear others' voices and stories I have found. Happy to share that resource @JustinHoot99if you are interested.

[Sunnyside]

16 minutes ago, JustinHoot99 said:

Good to be back again.  And congrats on coming up on 2mths.

Thank you  

[jillar]

Glad to see you back @JustinHoot99, stay close and reach out to us when you need extra support. Lets get this done!

As far as your ticker goes, you need to delete the old one first and then make your new one and put it in your signature

[intoxicated yoda]

Welcome back @JustinHoot99I knew you wouldn't be able to stay away.  you will make it this time.

[Doreensfree]

Welcome back....

All Roads lead to Rome ...do what it takes to not buy cigarettes.....

Read all the posts here again ...put all the useful stuff to you in your toolbox...

Stay close ..

[JustinHoot99]

2 hours ago, KEL said:

I'm not sure if this is helpful but it seems to me it really sucks for about four months. Well, varying degrees of suckiness. I think if you can set the expectation that it is just going to be very challenging for that time, it relieves some of the confusion as to why its not getting better sooner.

Varying degrees of suckiness pretty much sums it up based on how I felt after 30days on my previous quit and from what I read others talk about.

[Doreensfree]

Everything you feel is Temporary....

Turn your negative thoughts into positive ones ...after all...

What your achieving is flippin Amazin ....keep telling yourself this ...

[notsmokinjo]

3 hours ago, JustinHoot99 said:

Wow, look at you w/ almost 4mths.  I'd be something around that if I hadn't been a sphincter and had that 1 which led to another 1000.

 

 

Oi, be kinder to yourself there mate. Statistics show it takes most people more than one crack to get their successful quit.

So lets just look at your previous quits and take the positives.... Wot did ya learn?...then apply that...DON'T waste time or energy beating yourself up over failing, you lost your quit, it happened, can't turn back time and change it so just look forward, only worry about this quit, your sticky one,  and let it grow.

Instead of "I could have been 4 months" rest your energy and focus to "I'm 1 day, hour, week, etc, etc, ad nauseum."

Biggest tip I got when I first quit was just quit for 1 day, then repeat it. 6 months in my target was still to just quit for 1 day, I mean by then I knew I could do 1 day without a smoke cos I'd done a whole heap already. When I'd get a niggle, NOPE not smoking today. 

Dwelling on the past makes it more likely to repeat it...for the next few quit months live in the now, hour to hour, day to day goals.

 

[JustinHoot99]

Just got back from my HIIH workout and ready to start day 2.  Yesterday I went through the normal day 1 symptoms: tired, somewhat dizzy, difficulty concentrating. My work load was thankfully and uncharacteristically low yesterday, so that was a big help. I expect today will be similar regarding the symptoms as the nicotene leaves my system.  Then I have to deal w/ the real monkey on my back which is the psychological part.
Psychology and I have a strange relationship.  I've been to a psychologist and fully believe in them. I believe in habits and believe people can create them using psychology. I purposely created a habit of exercising everyday 5 years ago this May.  I haven't missed a day since.  But I also have trouble w/ some aspects.  Which isn't to say I think they are wrong or don't work, just they don't fit in my mindset.  I hear things like "be mindful" and "concentrate on feeling good about yourself" and my mind acts like a deer in the headlights.  If it isn't an action, I don't get it.  Thats why quitting is difficult for me.  Quitting smoking simply consists of not doing something.  Thats not an action.  Sure, I can come up w/ a list of alternative things to do like eating candy, fruits, and carrots.  I can go for walks, look at my inspiration memes I put above to my computer.  But it is all going to depend on my simply "not doing something".  Much easier to do something like create a habit of exercising daily.  That is something I simply go do.  And once I complete the task, I'm good for the day.  My mind doesn't keep bothering me about every few minutes the rest of the day.  Psychology is something I know is there, I just don't like.
Oh well, I'm meandering.  And for me, one of the few things that does take my mind of wanting to smoke is typing.  And so.....I type.  And babble.

[JustinHoot99]

Checking something as my ticker keeps reverting back to my old one that shows 3 months.  Just now, I went to Edit Profile, deleated the ticker, clicked save 5 times, then came her. Now I have the new ticker I created yesterday that shows 1 day.  Now I'm going to post this and see if ticker shows up and what it shows.

The ticker shows 1 day.  So I'm logging out and signing in to recheck.

Below is a screenshot showing that it shows 1 day.

 

And now 3 hours later it is back to 3 days. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh

 

Edited March 2, 2022 by JustinHoot99

[DenaliBlues]

Congrats on completing day one  @JustinHoot99!  And thanks for raising the topic of action. I can relate.

 

A fiendishly clever aspect of my addiction is how it takes habituated behaviors + emotions + physical/chemical dependence and ratchets them into a really tight knot that seems impossible to untangle. As I start to pry those strands apart, I find that each one wants to smoke for different reasons. Each one has the power to sabotage my quit. I suspect that each part of my addiction needs its own attention, reprogramming and healing.

 

Thinking about my behavioral habits or my “action” strand: until not smoking becomes my baseline (which I am months and miles away from) I need substitutes. The vacuum of not smoking is just too much to deal with. Also, at this stage in my withdrawal the reward centers in my brain are still pretty fried and screwed up, so things designed to make me feel good - taking a walk, breathing deeply, noshing on snacks, etc. – can irritate the bejezus out of me, instead. Depending on my mood.

 

A new coping mechanism I started this week is a “Mini Honey Do” list of small tasks that need doing around the house. Nothing arduous or time consuming, or else I’ll procrastinate and it won’t help me combat an immediate craving. Simple stuff that can be done in 15 minutes or less, things I know I can’t fail at. Tighten the loose screws on the recycling cabinet door. Scrape whatever that sticky goo is off the laundry room window. Change the light bulb that’s been flickering in the bathroom. Swap out the HVAC air filter.

 

I have to write these down because when I am stressed or sunk emotionally, my mind goes weirdly blank. I’m so used to meeting that moment by smoking that it’s hard to remember or imagine doing anything else. So I get up, look at the list, pick something, do it, and cross it off. It feels sort of silly, but it’s better than picking up a smoke. It adds a little novelty to my coping routine. And there’s the silver lining of stuff getting done around the house…

 

Ditto on your comment about writing here being helpful, too. Reading your post and responding helped me ride out a nasty crave wave this morning, so thanks!

 

Rock on with your day #2!

 

Denali Blues

[KEL]

@JustinHoot99Thank you for posting this morning. I started therapy thirty years ago and have been through many therapists (psychologists and psychiatrists), both group and individual. The purpose of therapy is to get to the s--t we are not conscious of. The isms you speak of are not "therapy" per se. Instead, they are tools to reprogram the negative thinking which, for the most part, we are not aware of. Hence the purpose of working with someone who can help us access those things we cannot get to.

"Thats why quitting is difficult for me.  Quitting smoking simply consists of not doing something.  Thats not an action."

It is action to change your thoughts. It is action to make a choice not to do something. It is action to do something else other than that which our junkie brain is telling us to do.

We are so programmed in this culture to believe we can "do" something to "fix" the mess. Its completely out of our control.

I do get that there are gender differences here, but I am firmly male in my psychology which has been mighty confusing for the other parts of me. So I have engaged in the mental masturbation you are caught up in which is to try to negotiate out of the unvarnished truth: I am an addict. And so are you.

Quitting smoking is difficult for you because you are addicted to nicotine, not for any other reason.

In order to move past this nonsense, I needed to do is understand that my best thinking, my most prized possession (my mind), got me into this sorry state of affairs. I need to suspend all thought and do the things that others suggest will help me to get out of my active addiction so I can see what is underneath, what the addiction was hiding.

Or I can die.

@DenaliBluesFlash cards help me. I made a stack of things I wanted to remind myself of when I got into those "blank spaces." 

It does get easier. 

 

[AceWhite]

Funny (not haha but hmmmm funny) that quitting smoking means doing nothing- physically.

Yes in reality all you have to so is nothing to stop smoking.

The actual act of doing nothing becomes the difficult part

 

 

Edited March 2, 2022 by AceWhite

[intoxicated yoda]

I think the key to quitting smoking (destructive habit) is less doing nothing and more doing something different (constructive habit) and getting so immersed in the something different that you forget about smoking.  Have you ever been doing something that you enjoy so much then you realize hours have past and you thought about nothing else?  

[JustinHoot99]

2 hours ago, DenaliBlues said:

A new coping mechanism I started this week is a “Mini Honey Do” list of small tasks that need doing around the house.

I hadn't given it much thought, but I did start something a bit similar this month called movement snacks.  In addition to my normal daily workouts (HIIH training), I added 3 movement snacks of hanging leg lift, pushups, and pullups that must be done daily, though any time and number as long as I do each.  I didn't do it as part of quitting, but simply as part of my general exercise program.  I'm very focused on health, except for my lungs. lol

45 minutes ago, KEL said:

  I am an addict. And so are you.

Quitting smoking is difficult for you because you are addicted to nicotine, not for any other reason.

So true, I just hate that I can't make a normal to do plan and know when completed, the job is done.  I believe once an addict always an addict.  It should get easier, but it is always lurking in the back ground.  That is something I hate, even if I can't change that is how it is.  Very similar to alcoholism and any other addiction.  Once a habit has been established, you can't undo having had the habit.  Your brain will always remember what you did, the purpose for doing it, and the reward you got (stimulus, relaxation, focus, whatever).  The desire can be weakened, but never entirely removed.  At least in my opinion.

 

16 minutes ago, AceWhite said:

Funny (not haha but hmmmm funny) that quitting smoking means doing nothing- physically.

Yes in reality all you have to so is nothing to stop smoking.

The actual act of doing nothing becomes the difficult part

 

Maybe this is what some spiritualists mean by "achieved nothingness".  They all quit smoking? lol

[jillar]

@JustinHoot99, if you created the new one before you deleted the old one then it's going to revert back every time Using the one you created yesterday before deleing the old one won't work. Delete the old one FIRST,  

I deleted it for you  

Edited March 2, 2022 by jillar

[JustinHoot99]

40 minutes ago, jillar said:

@JustinHoot99, if you created the new one before you deleted the old one then it's going to revert back every time Using the one you created yesterday before deleing the old one won't work. Delete the old one FIRST,  

I deleted it for you  

Thanks.  I was starting to need a cigarette due to the that. lol

[AceWhite]

4 hours ago, intoxicated yoda said:

I think the key to quitting smoking (destructive habit) is less doing nothing and more doing something different (constructive habit) and getting so immersed in the something different that you forget about smoking.  Have you ever been doing something that you enjoy so much then you realize hours have past and you thought about nothing else?  

This is exactly how I was able to make it through the first few tough weeks.

Great advice

[KEL]

@JustinHoot99

"The desire can be weakened, but never entirely removed.  At least in my opinion."

I could not disagree with you more. 

In May of 1998, I found myself drinking two bottles of wine a night. I switched to vodka thinking it might change things but was going through at least half a liter a night, sometimes more.

I haven't had a drop since December 2, 2000. I have no desire for it whatsoever and haven't for perhaps 17 years? I have given myself "permission" to drink again but I don't want it. I was released from the desire, the obsession. Of course, I was smoking so I shifted my addictive tendencies to another substance. Be that as it may, it does go away.

Perhaps one of the mind-sets you need to shift is the belief you will always desire smoking? You don't have to believe it right now. But at least be willing to question it. Trust the group-I would posit the vast majority have had the desire "entirely removed." 

[Kris]

So, funny @KEL I am right here, re-reading this thread. I am going back to reread it again.  There is so much to learn in this thread. One word "action" speaks to me.  The action for me is I wake up every day and I am breathing. I am also not hiding from the fact that I am addict.  I want to face it and struggle through it.  For me, doing this will teach me that only I can change it.  I still admit that I want to smoke.  I want to embrace the pain so much that I never want to feel it again. Is that an "action"?