Dreamed of smoking again

[Kate18]

Funny, out of the blue. The stressful weeks of my daughter and her family moving to Texas are past. I'm finally rid of the piles of bags and boxes of their discards that I'd simply dumped in my home, lining the walls and furniture, until I could sort them for donation or the dump. Got rid of the last of it.

 

Then I planted a small flower garden, and the daffodils are coming into bloom. Three days of tranquility. 

 

I awakened this morning in the middle of dreaming that I'd smoked. I was bewildered because I had no desire to smoke, didn't want to smoke, and I'd ruined my almost-two year quit. I'd have to reset my ticker, confess to the QT friends, and start over. Quelle nightmare!

 

I don't remember if I had thoughts to smoke during the stress of my daughter's move or not. Certainly I didn't after I'd restored the peace and quiet of my own home.

 

The mind is quirky, yes?

 

Have a great day, everyone.   

[jillar]

That damn addiction of ours will try anything to suck us back in. Poor pathetic thing doesn't stand a chance in hell while we're awake!!

I had one not too long ago but they don't phase me. I look at dreams like I'm watching a movie though and sometimes I'm the star lol

[KEL]

Really appreciate you both sharing your experience!

[nicotine_free]

I had the strangest dream last night that I was doing heroine (never have), and pot (not since 1987). I have no desire for these substances when I'm awake, thank god!

[Wayne045]

I occasionally have those dreams.    I don’t even think twice about them anymore, nor do I believe there is any deep seated desire to smoke simply because I dreamed about it.   The important thing is that we have no desire to smoke when awake.

[Kris]

I wish I would get to the point it only was in a dream. I still am battling the demon when I am awake. Good thing I am a tough old lady. One day it will get a TKO.

[jillar]

@Kris, I understand your frustration. My whole first year was pretty miserable too. You'll get past this stage it just takes some of us longer than others

[JohnRPolito]

So long as they remain nightmares, Kate,  smoking dreams are protective, especially once complacency arrives.  While I don't claim to be "average," during my first year I think I had 2 or 3.  And for the first few years I probably averaged one a year.  Now, 22 years since my last nicotine-fix, it's been 4 or 5 years since my last nightmare.  

But considering I was a 30-year heavy smoker (3 packs-a-day during the final 5 years) I find it amazing that while my brain is filled with hundreds of thousands of smoking memories,  when constructing dreams my subconscious has only made me a smoker roughly a dozen times over 22 years.

And let me tell you, my smoking dreams truly are nightmares.  To set the stage, in 1999 I quit and started WhyQuit (then purely a motivational site) and in the fall started an online support site.  Since then, I've presented nearly a hundred live quitting programs, have had a number of journal articles published  and wrote a quitting book.  So, imagine what it was like relapsing during my last dream and thereafter worrying that I had to start all over again, and that at any second I could be caught smoking and exposed.  My emotional response was so disturbing that it forced me to awaken.  Even then, it took a few seconds to realize that it'd all been a nightmare.

That being said, my next smoking dream, if any, will again remind me just how much I relish being free.  For it will  be a vivid  reminder of the amazing journey I once made.

Breathe deep, hug hard, live long,

John (Gold x22)

[jillar]

Welcome to quittrain @JohnRPolito, thank you for all the resources you provide and have allowed us to use from whyquit

 

 

Edited February 22, 2022 by jillar

[KEL]

@JohnRPolitoThank you. I appreciate your insight and really grateful you are taking the time to help those of us in the early stages.

Karen

[Doreensfree]

Welcome to Quit Train ....

Hope you stay a while ....our Newbies could do with your knowledge..

[JonGuirl]

I remember one of my weird dreams when I was early in the quit ....

 

I was in some big exhibition hall, big crowds milling past, and I was standing there with a table full of cigarette cartons.

I was like 'well I don't smoke anymore and I don't want to smoke' so I tore one open and was walking around passing them out to people   LOL

 

I wonder if that was my mind throwing the addiction away

[JonGuirl]

On 2/21/2022 at 10:04 PM, jillar said:

Welcome to quittrain @JohnRPolito, thank you for all the resources you provide and have allowed us to use from whyquit

 

+1 !!   whyquit.com was very important in my quit and understanding the addiction - once I REALLY understood it (addiction 101) I could find a way to overcome it for myself.   A critical thing for me.    That site and the Carr book and a stubborn dedication broke me FREE!

Thank you John and Joel.

 

 

[intoxicated yoda]

another smoking dream last night.  In my dream I found myself smoking and got extremely mad at myself for giving in so I threw the cigarette down.  then another one magically appeared in fingers and I took a puff, got madder at myself and threw that down.  It was kind of a loop like that for a while.  What's so strange about this is that I still feel like I smoked and I've been up for almost 4 hours.  

[Doreensfree]

Grrrr.

Those smoking dreams ,they play with your head ....

What a relief when you realise it was a dream and not reality ...

It shook you up ...because they are so vivid ...they stay in your memory for a while ....

This just shows how much your precious quit means to you Yoda...

 

 

[DenaliBlues]

Sorry you got dream-clobbered again, Yoda. So strange that using dreams often feature “magic” or “accidental” smoking… that happens to me, too. Unnerving. The subconscious is so baffling. Take heart in your reality - you have a really strong quit. They’re waiting for you on the lido deck.

 

[Angeleek]

Freedom from Nicotine was one of the first online resources I found. I used a lot of that information when putting together my quit plan, so thank you so much @JohnRPolito.

 

Kate those dreams sure are weird. Yes I take them as confirmation that I do NOT want to start back up, and they just remind me how crappy and disppointrd in myself I would feel if I did. 

[JonGuirl]

On 8/1/2022 at 9:00 AM, Doreensfree said:

Grrrr.

Those smoking dreams ,they play with your head ....

What a relief when you realise it was a dream and not reality ...

It shook you up ...because they are so vivid ...they stay in your memory for a while ....

This just shows how much your precious quit means to you Yoda...

 

 

The best part is how terribel you feel for doing it, and caving in, smoking .... then you slowly wake up felling so bad about it and then realize you really DIDN'T do that and your quit is solid  -  nicotine gets such a strong grip on your mind and body but once you make up your mind that is it.   But these things happen and I remember being so devistated and sad but then slowly woke up and realized what happened    LOL    Commit and never look back, and laugh at the smoking dreams from your old nicotine junkie brain trying to take over!