Running after the train

[darcy]

Hello QT People,

 

I am struggling and have avoided using this train out of guilt and shame.

Ridiculousness upon ridiculousness.

Please advise how to delete my ticker. My frustration level with figuring out how to do it is sad , would be funny, if I wasn't trying to accomplish saving my life.

I will choose to go without a ticker until I have 30 days-ish- grateful the ticker will back date.

 

  I just want to feel comfortable Being "here" and can't spend head space in what I gave away.

 

I wouldn't even allow myself to lurk and read. Such is the level of my wobbliness in my ability and willingness.

 

Looking forward to catching the train.  Hoping I find my way aboard.

Welcome and yahoo to everyone aboard. Please remain seated as catching the rain again can be a mental and emotional battle.

 

Pretty simple in practice. Do not put anything in your mouth and light it on fire. No matter what.

What is it I am telling myself these killers are doing for me?    benefits 0%= deficits 100%

 

thanks for all this site provides for all who are able and wiling to utilize it.

 

 

 

[darcy]

found it and deleted it.  without rising frustration.

yahoo for small things.

or not....sigh

[KEL]

Darcy! I know the shame well. And without speaking for everyone else (although I think I can), we all feel this way until we don't.

Today is a new day. Glad you are back.

[jillar]

Hi @darcy, welcome back aboard. Sorry you caved to a crave and gave away your quit but you're back now and have learned that as addicts we have to adhere to NOPE! 

Use us to your advantage, please, that's why we're here. We want to help you achieve your forever quit. So maybe post SOS if you feel your quit is in jeopardy so we can try to help you past it next time

As far as your ticker goes, I deleted your old one for you and here's the link to make one with screenshots so you won't have to get so frustrated hopefully when you're ready to make a new one. https://www.quittrain.com/topic/15042-creating-a-ticker/

 

 

Glad to have you back

[Doreensfree]

Welcome back Darcy ...

No time for shame ...this is your life ...never give up...trying to give up...

We are all addicts have have been where you are ....

Take your seat ....reread all you can here ....learn,learn learn ....

Take on board where your last try went wrong and learn by it ...

Those who stay close to the board ,post often,are more likely to succeed...

Take our daily pledge ...it can be a massive help ....

[intoxicated yoda]

Hi Darcy.  I was gonna beat up on you but you seem to be doing the job good enough.  I know it's tough.  There is that feeling of loss that you can't get that time back,  But the reality is the past is gone and no longer is.  The future isn't here and hasn't yet become.  All that is is now.  Live in the moment and quit for just that moment.  No guilt, no shame, just be.  You can do it.

[Gus]

Hey Darcy! Utilize the train! It works! Time and time again. Being an addict sucks. You can build your quit again and QuitTrain can only make the foundation more solid. See you around.

[Kris]

I have said in previous posts the we have to be aware of train robbers.  This time for you, there must have been a gang.  They stormed upon you waving guns and demanding submission and everything you hold dear.  They are the enemy, trying to tell you that you are not in charge.  That they hold in their hands the key to your future.  They tried to rob you of not only your worldy goods, but your family and your freinds. They want you to feel weak, afraid and submissive.  The Nicotine Gang does not care about you.  They want to only pillage your bank account, spend your money, time with doctors and make you plead on your knees for a breath. What they fail to know is that you have your own gang, that will fight them to keep you safe.  Your quit train is here to protect you, just call on them if there is any danger.  They are here 24 hours a day.  I know this to be true as I am living it!! Let the train take you to safety.

[Boo]

Welcome back aboard the Quit Train Darcy.

 

The cycle of constantly craving a cigarette.  Then smoking and regretting it.  Then constantly thinking of quitting again...

 

It all begins to feel mentally exhausting and futile.

 

There is a way to end the cycle for good: commit to the quit.  Make it through the early challenges and eventually smoking becomes a distant memory.

[Doreensfree]

20 hours ago, Kris said:

I have said in previous posts the we have to be aware of train robbers.  This time for you, there must have been a gang.  They stormed upon you waving guns and demanding submission and everything you hold dear.  They are the enemy, trying to tell you that you are not in charge.  That they hold in their hands the key to your future.  They tried to rob you of not only your worldy goods, but your family and your freinds. They want you to feel weak, afraid and submissive.  The Nicotine Gang does not care about you.  They want to only pillage your bank account, spend your money, time with doctors and make you plead on your knees for a breath. What they fail to know is that you have your own gang, that will fight them to keep you safe.  Your quit train is here to protect you, just call on them if there is any danger.  They are here 24 hours a day.  I know this to be true as I am living it!! Let the train take you to safety.

I like this Kris ....great post

[Mac#23]

Welcome back aboard the train Darcy. I'm glad you chose to quit smoking again. Remember that even the strongest people stumble sometimes. It's what you do after you get back up that matters. So, dust yourself off and kick that nasty nicotine monster to the curb. You are much stronger than the addiction and need to start believing in yourself. Just grab your seat and enjoy the ride to a happier and healthier life. 

 

[darcy]

thanks everyone for the support.

I am seated. 

though at this moment , despite having just left the doctor for covid test and to the pharmacist to treat for bronchitis,  I  am wrestling with myself not to get a pack.

over 48 hours of semi freedom (using patches for a few days) at this juncture.

hacking painfully

and having this beyond insane loop in my head.

sitting tight.

so tight I might turn into a diamond.

oooo..sparkly....

[KEL]

Hang In Darcy. It gets easier. Sending wishes for peaceful night for you. And for everyone on the train.

[Doreensfree]

despite having just left the doctor for covid test and to the pharmacist to treat for bronchitis,  I  am wrestling with myself not to get a pack.

 

Your poor lungs are already struggling Darcy ...be kind to them ....adding nicotine gunk will only make it worse 

Get well soon ...

[Boo]

On 11/27/2021 at 6:23 PM, darcy said:

I am seated. 

though at this moment , despite having just left the doctor for covid test and to the pharmacist to treat for bronchitis,  I  am wrestling with myself not to get a pack.

 

The only thing you're missing out on by not smoking while dealing with bronchitis is a hacking coughing spell and prolonged illness.

 

The choice is an obvious one.

[Runfree]

No time for shame when you focus on the gains    It helps to picked a solid (positive) reason for wanting to quit and go back to that thought/feeling/commitment every time things get jittery.  It helps pull you though the wave.  Glad you're here!

[darcy]

Hello QT People,

 

    Have been smoke free since Thanksgiving and nicotine free less than 2 hours.

Not sure how it is happening, but it is. YAY.

 The NRT (patches)  was not overall helpful for me personally.  Yet, here I am not smoking, so who am I to say it didn't work well.

 

I am very very wobbly and feel surprised that I am smoke free.  GRATEFUL grateful grateful, yet still surprised.

I find that addiction is an interesting and horrible opportunity/experience. 

I very much admire the people who share here and their different experiences and ideas.  I hope  to feel as sure and confident and committed to freedom as many people are.

Seems so easily obvious to choose the freedom and LIGHTNESS of breathing.

Ad yet here we are.....

 

Hope your adventures today bring you closer to living the life of your dreams.

nicotine free less than 12 hours

[KEL]

Nicely done Darcy. Glad you are here. Glad I am here too. Seems like everyone has had a heavy Sunday (just cross-referencing with another thread) so your success is a huge celebration for all of us!

I've done it both ways: NRT and cold turkey. I found that its hard initially to do the CT quit BUT the relief in being nicotine free is enormous. Just my experience.

Blessings to you my dear!

[Gus]

Great job Darcy! I used the patches because of some anxiety and depression issues I have. I omitted Step 1 and did Step 2 and 3 in less than 2 months I believe. I had to go through withdrawal 3 times because of that. But, I know without a doubt that I would not have survived a cold turkey quit. You are doing an amazing job! KTQ!

[KEL]

Whatever works.

[Mac#23]

Way to go Darcy. I'm glad to see that you're still working your quit. You seem to have the proper mind set for a very long quit. So, believe n yourself but if things get a little rough then reach out and we will be there.

[Doreensfree]

Well done Darcy...

All Roads lead to Rome ...just get yourself there ....it's OK to Wobble ...

Just don't fall over ....Upwards and Onwards

[intoxicated yoda]

@darcy NRT patches I found were counter productive.  Hang on to that quit.  You can do it.  You will find out that you are much stronger than you ever thought you could be.  

[AceWhite]

Excellent mindset to realize you are an addict & nicotine is your drug.

You have to dig deep at times but no matter what just say NOPE and gain distance between you n that last smoke.

You've made progress- you're on board now.

Never go back- smoking will slowly become just a distant memory.

Stay on the train- support makes it bearable

[Opah]

Darcy:

It is hard to break free of the chains of our ADDDDD  ADICCCCCtion 

addiction (I really hate that word)  but until we do it gets very difficult to stay on the train.