Day 40 Musings

[KEL]

In my quest to rid myself of the pain of smoking over the last four years, my longest quit was 4 months. Second longest was 40 days.

Here I am at day 40 again. Maybe there is something symbolic about it, i.e. that "40 day/40 night" thingy that has some import in our collective experience. Nonetheless, I decided to share some things that made it easier to get here this time. 

1. Allan Carr's books. Do an in-person seminar. Its well worth the time/money.

2. Flash-cards are a tool that helps a lot, particularly to remind me of the insanity of addiction, e.g. "I smoke to feel like a non-smoker." All "reasoning" is circular but I have so brainwashed myself to believe that smoking was somehow necessary, beneficial even. It takes some mind-training to get out of the loop of denial.

3. No NRT. I used it (gum) in all of my previous quits. At Day 40 in the past, I didn't feel strong or encouraged. Rather I was just hanging on for dear life. This time, moods have smoothed out and cravings are minimal. I attribute it to not being on the nicotine train in any form.

4. Keeping a journal (which I do anyway) and reviewing all of the insights I have gathered from every source (including you all) daily. I remember in the seminar Jamie saying, "You are running a marathon by smoking and its over when you quit." That was a rather profound way to look at it. About three weeks later, I woke up to a "voice" telling me "The race is over."  I am hoping this is a truth from whoever is in charge because, as I know, it certainly ain't me.

5. Focusing on the wins, particularly the relief of not having to smoke. Waking up in the morning without the machinations we all go through when trying to manage our addiction. Bloody exhausting.

6. Being grateful to have the energy to do the things that bring true joy, i.e. exercise. Getting out on the bike (at 9K feet) and not feeling like I am dying at the top of the hill. Of course this exuberance has a downside when on the downside due to the danger of going ass-over-tea-kettle. All must be tempered.

I still find myself "romancing" the smoke. Maybe it will always be that way or a little bit that way. I think this is the nature of addiction in that we are forever trying to get somewhere other than where we are. As I practice living life on life's terms, moment by moment and day by day, the desire to orchestrate things to suit my perceived needs lessens. For me, smoking helped to manage my expectations. Perhaps giving up on expectations and just showing up is a better plan.

I recall reading something where the guy finally gave up his attempts to quit. That allowed him the grace to actually release the smokes for good. Seems like a bit of a paradox but whatever works for each and every one of us to let go of that which harms us.

Wishing you all a blessed day.

Karen

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Doreensfree]

Well done !!!!

Here is a well earned pat on the back ...Keep going !!!!

[jillar]

Great post @KEL, you're well on the way to your forever quit

[Kris]

Sounds like you are well on your way to being 40 years smoke free. Thanks for sharing.

K

[johnny5]

Great post, @KEL  Congratulations on 40 days smoke free!

[Boo]

Congratulations Karen.

 

Quitting gets easier with time.  The benefits continue to accumulate.  Enjoy.

[KEL]

Thanks for all the support and encouragement.

Its a "we" thing and I appreciate each and every one of you.

K

[Linda]

@KEL Congratulations on 40 days smoke free!! Great post!!!

[Gus]

YAY Karen!

[Mona]

Very nice post @KEL and great job on your over-40-day quit!!!