Closing thought of the day

[jillar]

@intoxicated yoda, its a nicotine crave, don't over think it lol. You're still pretty early in on your quit so you're still going to get bad days. My whole first year sucked!

Just go with it and don't try to analyze everything, it'll be way less stressful on you I think

[Kris]

@intoxicated yodaSorry you are having such a hard time.  I think we all get that feeling sometimes, a big empty hole that nothing will fill.  We feel so bad we don't know what we're feeling.  We just know it is very uncomfortable and we want it to go away.  Has taken me a lot of reflection over the years to figure what it is for me.  Anxiety, depression, grief and guilt all play into the development of my black hole. I know where it comes from now, those feelings still sneak up on me. All I can do is accept the feeling. Know it will pass as it has before, It will be okay, you will figure it out and find a way to find your calm again. 

[Doreensfree]

Stay seated Yoda...the scenery gets better the further you travel ...

[KEL]

@intoxicated yodaHope you got some sleep. I understand how you feel and I think everyone who uses substance to cope with life does as well. Its what is underneath when we stop using. Lately I've been seeing it as a yawing chasm that is parallel to my path. My job is to understand it is there but not to allow myself to be consumed by it. In other words, its about just letting whatever it is arise, to be, without trying to change it. Easier said than done but I am reminded it is a practice. We got really good at smoking so now we have to get really good at not smoking!

With smoking, we were always able to change how we felt or at least feel as though we had some control over it. It was not a good option but it was our go-to. Now we have to deal with whatever we feel without picking up and that is really uncomfortable for a long time.

Probably doesn't help much but I think we all deal with an emptiness that we try to fill. When we can't we think there is something wrong with us when its really just the nature of the gig. However, it sounds as though you are doing some really good things for yourself. It takes TIME to heal; at least I keep reminding myself of that.

Thanks for sharing and sending peaceful vibes your way....

[Boo]

16 hours ago, intoxicated yoda said:

 I want something but I have no idea what it could be. 

 

Get comfortable with not knowing.

 

Very few have all the answers right out of the gate.  Most who claim to are full of shit.

 

It's fine to wonder and wander a bit, you've got the rest of your life to figure it out.

[intoxicated yoda]

@Boo I am slowly learning to embrace the suckage of quitting.  

[KEL]

@intoxicated yodaI just hung out with one of my dearest friends who is a smoker. I did not smoke. But I sat with her while she did. She wants to be where (we) are. The "suckage" of smoking is worse than that of quitting methinks! Hope you have a peaceful night....

[intoxicated yoda]

@KEL That is fantastic that you can hang out with a friend that smokes and not smoke.  I hope that she gets the drive to be where you are one day.  When the pain of smoking becomes greater than the pain of quitting she will look to the path you are on and take those first steps.  Hope you have a peaceful night as well

[Doreensfree]

Well done Kel....

Hope she joins you ...I'm sure you gave her alot to think about ..

Deep down every smoker wishes they didn't ....

[KEL]

@DoreensfreeI sure hope she does. Ironically (or not so much) we both bought Allen's book at the same time then shared. I think she'll do it since her new circumstances will help (no smoking rental and high altitude). 

I think it did bring up more than I realized so I jumped on a couple of Nicotine Anonymous meetings since as it helps me to be in touch. Seems to be a robust group of quitters over on those forums for anyone who just needs to hear themselves talk. 

Hope everyone is having a great night!

Karen

[Doreensfree]

Hi Kel ...I spent 6 years trying to convince my best friend to quit ...I bought her the 5 cd,s of Allen Carr 

Clinic sessions.....

She died 3 years ago with Pancreatic cancer ,due to smoking ....the cvd,s still had the wrapper on ...

Very sad ...

We can talk as much as we can ...but in reality a person has to want to quit ...I get that now .....

Hope your friend jumps on the Train Soon ...❤

 

 

Edited January 22, 2022 by Doreensfree

[intoxicated yoda]

What if....

 

I read somewhere that the majority of the dna in our bodies isn't ours but is of the microbiome that inhabits our gut.  What if there was a fungibiome that was also there that took control of our brains and was doing everything it could to control us in to maintaining the habits that are killing us for it's own purpose.  Think that's irrational thinking or that it can't happen?  Think that old yoda fell off his rocker and cracked his noggin?  Not only is it possible but it happens in other species on this planet all the time so why couldn't it be happening to us now?  Think about it and pleasant dreams...

 

 

 

here's another interesting one....

 

 

[jillar]

I've always hated ants and considered them the devils own and now I'm even more convinced of it lol. 

But I do feel bad for the lady bugs....

[intoxicated yoda]

5 months quit today.  153 days of not smoking.  Time for a little reflection.  In hindsight the first couple of weeks quit was a lot easier than month 2 to month 4.  I had a lot of changes going on at that time and the positives of quitting were far out weighed by the negatives I was experiencing.  The great equalizer for me was that I knew I had gotten to the point where smoking that next one would only make me want the one after that even more which is what led me to quit in the first place.  What's the point of smoking if the crave never goes away?  There was always that fear of emphysema in the back of my mind but that was never enough to get me to quit cause my lung function was still pretty good.  Yeah, I would get the wheezes occasionally but it was never bad enough to actually scare me.  Nope, the quit was mostly about the crave.  It annoyed me that smoking that cigarette realistically only gave me about 2 minutes of relief from the crave after I put it out.  I can see how some people become chain smokers because that's what I was becoming.  Of course through all the struggle I came to the conclusion that the best defense against relapse was to get clean of everything.  Trying to quench the crave with Mt. Dew, chips and candy bars was causing me extreme strife and much to my surprise I found out it was only making the craves worse!!!  Funny how that happens, almost like there was a demon in my head hell bent on my demise by whatever means.  Sugar addiction takes the same neural pathways as nicotine and heroine addiction, or so I've read.  Don't take my word for anything about addiction as I'm just firing shit off the top of my head to reinforce my quit, but I digress.  My hypothesis was the sugar and carb addiction was keeping the pathway open for the cigarette addiction and if I quit all of it then as the craving for one addiction lessened they would all lessen.  And when I beat one I would beat them all because maybe they are really all just the same addiction.  Maybe Lord of the Rings was on to something.  One ring to rule them all and in the darkness bind them.  Or in this case, one addiction to rule them all.  Anybody know where Mt. Doom is?  I'll go on a quest and throw the addiction back into the fire that made it.  Was Mt. Doom even a place in that movie?  I can't remember and it doesn't matter.  What does matter is that I didn't smoke today.  My goal is to destroy this addiction to the point it's not even a memory.  I don't know if that is possible but the depth of our minds is inconceivable.  We like to think the science of man has it all figured out but when you think about what our subconscious mind does just as a daily routine....I mean think about this, there are about 10 billion cells in our bodies that get destroyed and replaced everyday.  Our subconscious controls all of that, in fact, if we had to think about if we would be dead in a matter of seconds because we can't even go to the grocery store and come out with everything we need without a list.  So if we can get that kind of power programmed correctly to eliminate the addiction totally it should be able to do it in a matter of seconds...if we allow it.  Something to think about, the power of the mind.  Anyway, I've gone on long enough.  If anybody is suffering through a crave and stumbles across this I hope it kept you occupied long enough for the worst of it to pass.  And maybe it sparked an idea in you that could be of use to all of us.  Please share it if it did.  Peace.

[Edy]

Hey Yoda  I think there is something in your hypothesis regarding connection between for example sugar addition and nicotine .. i have experienced more cravings for smoking when I was eating gluten ..  sugar doesn't seem to effect me so much in that sense, but bread pasta etc...  yes - how strange - probably similar mechanism to drinking alcohol and increased craving to smoke. 

 

Congrats on your quit! 

I am on my 10th day of quit  .. can't sleep and so feeling like a zombie .. 

[intoxicated yoda]

@Edy 10 days is a great start.  Sleep disruption is still a problem for me as well.  I'm sure that there is some kind of connection to cigarette addiction and food addiction.  I've found that if I don't try to quench a cigarette crave by eating some kind of carbo loaded food then both cravings will go away or at least diminish enough to not bother me after a while.  I can see gluten being a problem for that as well.  For me cleaning everything up at once wound up being easier to do.  Hopefully you find a strategy that works for you and your quit goes smoothly.  However difficult or easy it may be it's definitely worth it.

 

Congrats again on your quit and hopefully you get some sleep.  

[Doreensfree]

Enjoying your posts updates Yoda.....

Dont look now ...but I have every faith you are doing to reach your Freedom ...

[intoxicated yoda]

@Doreensfreethanks for the vote of confidence.  I will continue to explore different things and provide updates...for the foreseeable future anyway!!

[KEL]

@Edycongratulations. Ten days in is terrific.

@intoxicated yodaWord. Truth. 

I do believe there is a connection with sugar and addiction. When I got off booze, I ate chocolate all day long. With this quit, I have had some chocolate but the exercise has balanced any weight gain. And then it just really becomes about the freedom. We don't crave stuff that is bad for us anymore. Or so we hope.

Thanks for sharing the journey today!

K

[Edy]

sugar is an addiction .. yesterday i ate 300 gr. of chocolate .. i basically eat any amount i have at home .. therefore how unnerving it is that if you want to buy just a little piece of your favourite stuff, you cant  because they are selling only big boxes .. 

sigh...  

keep up good work Kel ! 

[Doreensfree]

I haven't got a sweet tooth ...can leave chocolate .....but cheese ...which is also fattening ..now that another story ....don't even get me going on sausages ...

[intoxicated yoda]

@Doreensfreei think the most important thing is what do you react to.  If you don't get any bad reactions to those things then roll with them.  

[Doreensfree]

It's a well know fact around here ....I'm a Sausageholic....I managed to rid myself one of my addictions .

The other one ...I will never quit ..lol....

[Edy]

[intoxicated yoda]

@Doreensfree I've known a few ladies that were addicted to tubular meat products so I don't think it's rare