Closing thought of the day

[intoxicated yoda]

gonna crap a few thoughts out here tonight since the board seems kind of slow and I need to stay close to the process.  I'm actually struggling a little bit tonight.  That nagging gnawing feeling just won't quite ever go away.  I wonder if the chemicals in the cigs affects the thyroid very much?  I'll have to look up on that and see what I can find.  In the meantime, breaking the associations is seemingly getting easier.  I'm not really consumed by thoughts of smoking so much, it's more a physical feeling in the back of the throat or the pit of the stomach.  I still can't break myself away completely from coffee which might be my problem.  I've reduced it by a lot but I can only seem to leave it alone for a couple weeks max then I cave back into it.  Other than that, the plan to get my weight back under control is seeming to work.  I weighed myself a little while ago and I was at 189 and my lowest weight was 186.  That was starting from 199.5 on 12/26 so that is some pretty good progress I think.  10 to 13 pounds gone in a little over a month and I cheated 4 days.  Cheat days on the this way of eating is not something to look forward to though.  A few moments of mouth pleasure leads to a few days of real suffering...sounds like another addiction I know.  

 

Joints are getting better since I've been able to start working out.  A typical routine is 1 set of 10 regular pushups.  3 sets of 25 inclined pushups.  5 half pullups and 3 sets of 50 wall pullups.  2 sets of 20 squats and hold an asian squat for 30 seconds 3 times then a 10 to 30 minute walk.  I still want to do the Qigong but I've got to make some room for that.  As my joints improve and the weight goes down I'll be able to get a little more aggressive on the workouts but for now slow and gentle is what is called for.  If anyone wants to start doing a very gentle workout I would recommend Hampton at hybrid calisthenics on youtube.  He's got some great things you can do regardless of what level of fitness you are at and its free and requires no equipment.  Give him a look and support his channel if you like what he has to offer.   

 

Tomorrow I try again to get through the day coffee free.  It tastes so good going down but the physical reactions I get make it not worth it.   Not gonna beat myself up if I give in since I'm quitting a lot of things already but it's got to go sooner rather than later.  Anyhow, I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend and remember, a goal without a plan is just wishful thinking.

[jillar]

Hey @intoxicated yoda, have you tried drinking decaf instead? Just a thought.....

[Kris]

I was going to go with hot tea, never have liked coffee, it smells so good but it makes my heart race.

[intoxicated yoda]

@jillari have tried decaf.  I seem to react very similar to both with the only difference being the decaf doesn't make my heart flutter as much.  @Krisi have tried tea as well and to be honest i'm just not a fan of it.  

 

 

[Gus]

I wish that my scrambled eggs thinking could produce results like you @intoxicated yoda. I have to zero in on one thing, lower my head, and go at it like a bull until it’s gone from my vision and there are always those pesky clowns to deal with.

[Doreensfree]

Thanks for the update Yoda.....I still enjoy my coffee ...thankfully I didn't have to give that up ...

Well done on your weight loss....

Now and again that Nico Monster will sit on your shoulder whispering in your ear ...trying to lure you back ...

He's getting weaker all the time ...keep telling him his time is up ...and to naff off...

[intoxicated yoda]

@Gus you are producing results.  you are almost 11 months quit and that is the most important result!!

[KEL]

@intoxicated yodaThanks for the update. I have to remind myself it is progress not perfection. Each day (hour, minute) we don't smoke is a success. And that is our only goal because the rewards from not lighting up continue to accumulate.

I, too, have that gnawing feeling. But I remind myself it was worse when I smoked. And when I smoked, I piled on all the guilt, shame and FEAR of what the cigarettes were doing.

I'm not sure we ever get to a permanent state of well-being or optimism. Just not sure that is the way it is supposed to go. Instead I think this is our big cosmic classroom and we are continuing learning how to love-ourselves mainly.

Hope everyone on the QT has a beautiful day. Sending positive vibes from sunny Colorado.

K

[intoxicated yoda]

It's been quite a week.  Been staying pretty strict on the no carbohydrate policy.  The only "cheat" I've had was about a half tablespoon of ketchup on my burger patty last night which didn't seem to cause any problems but I just didn't feel good about having it.  The bigger story is that I've stayed away from coffee/caffeine 100% since either Saturday or Sunday.  Surprisingly it hasn't been that bad yet as far as withdrawal.  I'll count Sunday night as 1 week off coffee.  The headaches seem to be fading and I've been able to go to bed at a reasonable time and stay there.  I might not be asleep but at least I can force myself to not get up so when sleep does come I'm not on the couch with a some type of screen shining in my eyes.  Sugar cravings seem to be getting quite a bit less.  I'm finding out that I may have an issue with pork.  I ate some country ham that I had made on Monday and a couple hours later I had some heart palpitations, then I had some bacon today and had the same reaction.  I'll wait a couple of weeks and try some again since I haven't been that long off of the coffee but it's looking like I may have a problem with the  histamines in pork.  This is a turning out to be a bittersweet journey.  I ditch one bad habit and 2 more things pop up that I didn't even think could be a problem.  I may find out I'm just too f^^%ed up to fix in one lifetime.  

[jillar]

Maybe its processed meats that are bothering you @intoxicated yoda? I couldn't imagine a life without bacon though....

 

Edited February 5, 2022 by jillar

[Kris]

@intoxicated yodaand@jillar, I am with you. I have about 6#lb of bacon and two 2#lbs of sausage in the freezer.  I would agree that there could be a sensitivity to processed meats but there are uncured available. I love bacon and use the sausage in many recipes. The caffeine would cause me more problems, i am a diet coke addict.  I don't drink coffee.  I could not give up carbs and sugar or people would be hurt. I could not live on bread and water but would be fine with bread, butter and water.  Funny how I say that, never thought I could live without smoking, but I am doing it and there have been no reports of a mass murder in my area.  I guess we can all do what we have to do, when we HAVE to do it. Wish you the best Yoda!!

[Doreensfree]

Life without sausages ....That's just not living.....NOPE !!!!

[Sunnyside]

Bacon is life. I couldn't get ridded of it in my diet

 

I really struggled yesterday evening, but realised later on that I had drank quite afew cups of tea ( I can't give it up altogether  but have cut down alot). Once I realised, I started to drink some water and felt better. Ended up taking myself to bed earlier and today has been better so far.

 

I also noticed the taste of ciggies in my mouth, so whether some tar was clearing from my lungs which contributed to the strong craving along with too much caffeine, im not sure, I also had a strong smoking dream last night, that was fun. Still smoke free though, today is another day

[intoxicated yoda]

@Sunnyside I know this won't make sense, but...when I give in to the coffee/caffeine cravings it makes the cigarette cravings much much worse than having both cravings at the same time.  Keep in mind i'm not suggesting anything other than for me it seems giving into one addiction opens the flood gates and all the other addictions start demanding their fix as well like spoiled brats throwing a tantrum in the grocery store.  

[Sunnyside]

@intoxicated yodayeah there is definitely a link with me. I think because I have been off work this week I have been drinking more caffeine. Apart from the morning (which i need to wake me up) i just drink water in work. Today i have been drinking just water and feel alot better

[KEL]

@SunnysideI agree with everyone about the coffee but I've not given it up. I switch to caffeine-free tea in the afternoons and evenings. There are some lovely brands out there now. It satisfies the ritual of making something and a warm cup to occupy the hands.

Godspeed all on the Train!

[intoxicated yoda]

I had a smoking dream last night.  I dreamt I took a puff.  Then I offered it to the person next to me who refused.  Then I threw the package away and somehow had 2 cigarettes.   1 was whole and one had been lit which was odd since the dream started with only one left in the pack.  Then I proceeded to tear little bits of them off and drop them on the ground as we were walking like in Hansel and Grettel.  Not sure what my subconscious is trying to tell me there, maybe it's to spend less time dwelling on not smoking and more time living

[KEL]

Whew. I always think it is good when this stuff comes up in dreams. Its there anyway so best to process in the dream-time as opposed to actually smoking. 

[jillar]

4 hours ago, intoxicated yoda said:

maybe it's to spend less time dwelling on not smoking and more time living

THIS^^

[Doreensfree]

Those pesky smoking dreams ...

What a great feeling of relief ,when you realize your quit is safe ...

[Gus]

I’ve only ever had one smoking dream. Thank God. 

[intoxicated yoda]

@Gusthis last one really wasn't that bad.  It wasn't like I woke up panicked that I might have smoked.  It was more like I was at a crossroad, I took a peek down the old road of smoking but my life (the other person in the dream) didn't want to go that way so I keep throwing them away.  

[intoxicated yoda]

whew...good news this week.  I found out most of the reactions I thought I was having to pork was actually being a little deficient in electrolytes.  Started taking some potassium and magnesium supplements and all the heart flutters have stopped.  Still get some eye twitching but not nearly as bad.  I'm trying some mega dosing of B1 for some of the weird symptoms I get like the eye twitching, vision and gut issues and the raging tinnitus I have going on now.  I have managed to stay away from the coffee for the last 2 weeks.  It really hasn't been that bad.  The only time I even think about it is around 9 pm when all my other cravings start working me over at the same time.  Sleep has been getting quite a bit better.  I still struggle to get to sleep but once I do go to sleep I have been sleeping at least 6 hours and most of the time it's 7 to 8 hours uninterrupted.  Still staying pretty strict on the zero carb diet.  I used a little bit of bbq sauce on some beef ribs but I bet I actually ingested less than a half a teaspoon over the 2 days those lasted.  Weight bottomed out at 184 and right now sits at 187 which is a bit disheartening but I don't trust my scale so I've decided to not use it and use a tape measure instead.  Joints are steadily improving which means my workouts have been getting more and more consistent.  I feel like I've made some good progress over the last 2 weeks in areas of sleep and pain management.  If anyone is interested in the info on B1 and what lead me to it let me know and I'll post some links and more on the reasons I decided to take it.

[jillar]

Hey @intoxicated yoda, that's all great news. I'm happy for you I take B1 too and drink Gatorade everyday for the electrolytes

[intoxicated yoda]

@jillarthat's great.  B1 deficiency can be a dangerous thing.  I'm currently experimenting with 750mg of benfotiamine and 100mg of TTFD to see if anything resolves.