Closing thought of the day

[intoxicated yoda]

While you're eliminating one addiction you might want to think about some of the others.  Watch this and you'll find out that big tobacco is actually the baby brother of big sugar.  Might be why caving to the sugar crave makes the nicotine crave worse...just a thought...

 

 

[intoxicated yoda]

6 month update...sticking with the diet pretty good.  it's not very hard to stay with a diet where you can eat as much as you want.  i'm fully expecting that in my mind it will cease to be a diet and start being just the way I eat.  I know eating nothing but meat seems extreme and maybe it is but for now it's working.  Once I hit my physical markers I'll start adding in some seasonal fruit and honey.  Staying far away from leafy greens as they are full of chemical booby traps.  I mean, tobacco is a leafy green before it's dried and rolled.  Just because the other leafy greens aren't addictive doesn't mean they aren't f***ing you up in other ways.  With the exception of tonite, i've stayed away from coffee.  some family brought me a decaf so I had to drink it.  not gonna lie, it was good.

 

as far the quit goes, i just started an experiment today.  One of the symptoms i've had from the beginning that i've always associated with craving was a feeling like a lump in my throat that would be vastly diminished in the morning and get more noticeable in the evenings.  It's one of the physical symptoms of craving that has driven my completely crazy for the last 6 months and nothing really helps it.  Well today I finally found a possible answer for it.  I may be low on calcium.  So starting to day i'm adding cheese into my diet.  I had my first meal with cheese this evening and so far it's not a severe as usual.  it's still there just not as annoying and of course way to soon for there to be anything other than a psychological reaction so i'll monitor it.  If I can fix that I swear 90% of my quit problems will be gone.  

 

so...what's better, what's worse and what's not changed.  let me see.

 

what's worse...I've actually had more trouble getting to sleep very recently.  Now, once I go to sleep i sleep soundly and slowly i'm feeling better in the mornings.  I just need to get my arse in the sack and settled down earlier at night.

 

what's better....damn, this is gonna be a list so let's go.  as mentioned above, sleep is deeper and more sound.  joints are getting better and less painful by the week.  the morning wood is back and it's oak, baby.  mood is markedly better, still have my bad days and bad moments but overall much improved.  i think my vision is starting to improve.  i don't stay freezing cold all the time.  attention span is getting better.  i feel more connected to reality than before.  overall psyche has improved.  waistline is down 4 inches.  exercise is less painful.  and the best, when I lay down to go to sleep, breathing is completely effortless.  I can breathe as deep as I can force myself with absolutely no wheezing, coughing or pain in my chest.  For that I am eternally grateful.

 

what's not changed...cravings are about the same but i'm working on that.  digestive issues haven't changed much.  flexibility not improving yet and neuromas in my feet still flare up.  the bloating is still an issue.  while it's not a cumbersome as it had been it's still some there and until it's gone it's not changed as far as i'm concerned.

 

All in all the effort has resulted in an overwhelmingly positive result.  I've got 19 pounds left to lose to get back to my pre quit weight so I'm almost at the halfway point.  The revised goal is to get my waistline down to 34 inches and I'm a third of the way there on that.  who knows...maybe old yoda will transform into han solo before it's all over with.  

[Sunshine]

I love this post. So informative. I read about the all meat diet some time ago. Never knew anyone who was doing it. I do have joint pain mostly in my knees. I don't have digestive issues but am putting on some weight already. Did you gain alot of weight since you quit?  Knowing that you are still having some sleep issues and cravings yet is good for us newbies to know.  Let's us know that even that far down the road there is still plenty of work to do in mastering this addiction. Thanks for the update.

[intoxicated yoda]

@Sunshinei packed on about 40 pounds in 4 months.  *yikes*

[Doreensfree]

Love this very detailed update lol.....

[Kris]

Yep, gained weight.  Not all is smoking related.  Sometimes I just do not have the energy to cook. I will just snack all day, just that will pack it on. I have plenty of healthy options in the house but I also have a reclining sofa. Right now I am on the all carb diet, nacho cheese doritos and shredded wheat.

[intoxicated yoda]

word...i was on that one as well.  nacho cheese doritos, king size reese's sticks and mt. dew.  then the pain of eating it was worse than the pain of not eating it so I had to change.  becareful of that reclining sofa tho...it's gravitational field is so so hard to get out of.

[intoxicated yoda]

Past the 7 month mark and today is day 213.  As far as the struggle to maintain the quit goes there really isn't that much to report.  Every day I get the same urges and the same thoughts.  It's kind of like driving down the road with something in the back seat rattling, while highly annoying when you pay attention to it, it starts becoming more natural to ignore it the longer it goes on.  The only other thing I've noticed is that when I walk into the gas station most of the time I don't even see the cigarette selection.  Maybe I really am starting to put smoking behind me.  Time will tell.  

 

On the health front, I bottomed out at 181 on the weigh scale.  Having topped out at 203 and started my weight control journey at 199.5, that's not bad for 2 and half months.  I have put 4 pounds back on over the last 2 weeks.  Not sure what happened but to end up at 185 isn't terrible.  14 pounds in 3 months is a small victory even though I'm still at roughly the same weight I was at last month.  I still have about 20 pounds to lose to get back to my pre quit weight.  Of course if my body composition changes and I'm more muscular and less fat I'd be ok with never getting all the way back to that weight.  Joints are still slowly improving.  Neuromas very rarely flare up now.  I'm still dealing with some minor bloating from time to time which I think may be connected to the slight weight gain.  Sleep had been doing really good then the time change totally derailed me.  I'm just now starting to get back in rhythm.  I had backed off a little bit on the exercise since I don't want to over do it like I did last summer right before I quit.  It was months before I could do even the easiest of workouts.  I think I've built up enough I can start pushing myself a little bit harder.  

 

My other addictions have also been taunting me quite a bit.  Sugar is always calling to me like a siren on the reef.  That sweet silky voice singing to me ever so persuasively to go get that candy bar or donut.  The funny thing is that most of the time it drowns out the nicotine tantrum that's always going on in the background.  Coffee has been my waterloo though.  I had to restart my coffee quit yesterday.  I relapsed back onto decaf, which when I really think about it, decaf coffee is kind of nasty.  Regular black coffee has a smooth bitterness to it which is why I like it, along with the caffeine jolt.  The decaf has a harsh flat bitterness that leaves an awful after taste.  At least I didn't opt for the Mt. Dew Code Red.   

 

If I had to put a name to the stage of quit I'm in I'd call it the drudgery phase.  It's kind of like playing the video game that you've already beat a million times but you keep playing it because even though it's boring now it's still better than any other game out there.  For all you early stage quitters out there that stumble across this post and read it, know that this one I wrote for you.  If you are struggling in a way that you never thought possible, I was there.  It does get better, then it gets worse...a lot worse and then...you get stronger.  You get stronger than you could ever imagine you could be...and then...it gets easier.  I hope this wall of text got your minds off of your addiction for a few minutes and maybe gave you some encouragement to stick with it.  You can do it.  Have wonderful smoke free week and be kind to yourselves and those around you.

[DenaliBlues]

Good thoughts. I, too, have been thinking a lot about what "hunger" is and isn't. Hunger vs. craving vs. addiction. 

40 minutes ago, intoxicated yoda said:

It's kind of like driving down the road with something in the back seat rattling, while highly annoying when you pay attention to it, it starts becoming more natural to ignore it the longer it goes on. 

My brother-in-law, a car mechanic, used to say about rattles: "That's why God made radios." Crank it up. KTQ.

[intoxicated yoda]

@DenaliBlues if you aren't doing it already, try eating only meals that you cook yourself.  don't eat any processed food(including seed oils) and don't eat anything that has a sweet taste as that will spoil your hormonal response.  In about 30 days or so you will see that when you first start eating your meal it will taste really good.  As you get full the taste will become less and less appealing until it doesn't taste good at all.  Now you are full.  If real food doesn't taste good then you aren't hungry.  I think that is the way taste is supposed to work but everything we eat today is so unnaturally sweet that the food programs us to eat way to much and way to often.  We rarely eat when we are hungry because we never really get hungry.  We just have a bad gut biome that makes us crave bad food.  Going carnivore has definitely given me some control back over my hunger signals.  

[jillar]

14 hours ago, intoxicated yoda said:

We rarely eat when we are hungry because we never really get hungry. 

I have to beg to differ Yoda, I ONLY eat when I'm hungry. Been like this my entire life, no matter the type of food or what's in it. I think overeating is more a response to other outside influences like boredom, sadness etc. All of which I've never grabbed anything to eat over.....

Edited March 28, 2022 by jillar

[intoxicated yoda]

@jillarthere are people like yourself that don't really have a problem.  Then you got people like me who can stand on a scale and watch the weight go up just from breathing.  The point I was trying to make is that if your metabolism is broken then you will tend to overeat and feel hungry all the time due to hormonal imbalances.  Doing some type of elimination diet that gets all the processed foods out of your system can by pass those imbalances.  

[Kris]

Good Lord, will you people just leave it alone.  I eat when I want to eat.  I eat what I want to eat. Sometimes I eat healthy well balanced meals, sometimes I eat trash junk foods. The thing is most of us are that way, we will eat well, healthy food when we have the energy and desire to do so.  Sometimes we are so tired we just stuff in anything available.  There is no need to stress about it unless it is causing a health problem.  In the long run it is better to have some nacho cheese doritos than to light up a smoke.  All things in moderation are okay except smoking.  Please pardon me, I most go take a shot of tequila.  LOL Enjoy life, that is why we quit smokingl

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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[intoxicated yoda]

You do you cupcake.  don't forget to lick that cheese powder off your fingers before you start picking the crumbs off your shirt.

[Kris]

I have 3 dogs. I do not have to worry about crumbs on my shirt and they are happy to make sure my fingers are clean.  Life is grand with the pups, they clean up the floor in the kitchen as well. LOL

[intoxicated yoda]

It's a Saturday night and the board is dead so I'll throw a few stories out there to see if anyone gets stirred up.  I've had a few tragedies in my life over the last week that have knocked me back to eating shit food thinking I might get some comfort out of it.  I was wrong.  Not only do I feel like ass I'm also craving cigarettes again like I just quit yesterday.  It's funny how addictions cross wires in your brain.  My reckoning is this is akin to an amputee that has an itch on the leg that is no longer there.  Anyhow, I will grow a set and get back to eating proper food tomorrow.  After next week all the ceremonious BS will be over.  Well wishers will be back to their normal routines and I can get back to mine.  Life will never be the same but it will go on until it doesn't.  That is the nature of it.  

 

The reality is that I'm not actually craving like I just quit yesterday but I am thinking about it like I just quit.  I guess when the pleasure centers in your brain get hijacked then any desire you have can be equated to a crave for cigarettes.  But that is where I'm at tonight.  How is everyone else doing?  Hopefully all of you are out there living such a rad life that you don't have time to post on a forum or smoke cigarettes.  That actually would make me happy.  And if you're not living a rad life what is stopping you?  If you are capable go do something that when your friends here about it all they can come up with to say is "Daaammmnn."  That's my goal for next weekend so if you don't hear from me after next week that means I didn't survive it or I'm still doing it.  Either way it will be worth it.  I'm thinking sky diving.  What would you do?  
 

[jillar]

@intoxicated yoda, I'm so sorry for what sounds like the death of someone dear to you. Its always so hard. I thought about smoking too when my mom died back in 2019 so I can relate. The thing I can tell you is its ok to THINK about smoking as long as we don't ACT on it.

 

 

 

[DenaliBlues]

I’m sorry to hear about your week @intoxicated yoda. It’s difficult to metabolize loss and to know what we want or need during those times. Try to be kind to yourself while you are coping.

 

As for me, I’m lying on the couch tonight with a snoring cat on my lap and am pretty much unable to move because I busted my butt this afternoon. A big storm broke a bunch of trees in our yard – sad to see all the damage. Today was about revving up the chain saw, bucking up firewood, and bundling all the small stuff for the county to haul away for mulch. A job well done, but I’m so bleeping sore that it’s going to take me a couple of tries to roll off the couch and lurch to bed. I think even my hair hurts. This is all the adrenalin I need, thanks – no skydiving required.

 

I totally relate to the idea that nicotine hijacks the brain’s reward centers. Mine are totally screwed up, and yes  sometimes the thought of smoking looms large. A different recovery program I once participated in promised that the family problem would eventually “lose its power to dominate our thoughts and our lives.” I’m hopeful that the same will become true of smoking. In the meantime, I’m wishing you ease. Take good care.

[Doreensfree]

Sorry to hear Yoda your going through a tough time just now ....and relieved knowing you realize smoking won't alter anything ..

I too have had a tough week ...it's 4 years since I lost my life long friend of over 64 years...

She died of pancreatic cancer ,due to smoking ....she never found her Freedom ...

I'm proud of you Yoda....I had a much longer Quit ....which helped ....

Now and again we need a reminder of why we are on the Train ...

[intoxicated yoda]

It's been a minute since I've journaled my progress.  Quitting smoking is still intact.  Everything else that went to shit stayed that way until today.  Turns out tomorrow is actually 20 days away as I managed to make it through 1 day without giving into the sugar monster.  There was a hell of a price to pay for that long of a stint eating like shit.  In 20 days I regained 11 lbs., the bloating came back with an unbridled vengeance and joint pain in my left shoulder is unceasing.  Funny how you can find something that works really well for you and then abandon it for a momentary pleasure that ultimately leaves you feeling sick, unfulfilled and in pain.  That is what addictions do to us.  A friend of mine suggested I go to the doctor and see if they have a pill I could take to resolve the bloating and the joint pain.  I can't bring myself to do that when I know a single lifestyle change will resolve both issues plus a lot of others without having to go through the carousel of drugs to find the magic 1 or 20.  I've seen to many people go down that route and I'm just not ready for it yet.  Tomorrow will be day 2 of being back on the diet with the exception of allowing myself decaf coffee for a while.  If history repeats I just need to stay true to it for 2 or 3 weeks and then I'll be able to do some light exercise again which will make things easier.  What's that saying you guys use here, if you give in you'll be right back where you were which was desperately wishing you were where you are...or something like that?  I'm sure I mangled that but I truly understand the meaning of it now.  Fortunately I learned the lesson with food instead of smokes.  As far as the tragedies mentioned in my previous post, my dad passed away on the 5th.  Rest in peace, Pops.  You earned it. 

[jillar]

I'm sorry about your dad passing yoda, my thoughts are with you

Hope you start feeling better soon....

[Doreensfree]

My heartfelt Sympathy to you and your family Yoda ..

Maybe like quitting the cigs ,you needed  a trial run first to know what's good for your body ...

Once the lightbulb goes on.....Feel better soon

[Gus]

My sympathies on the passing of your father Yoda. I hope that you’ll be back on track with your dietary changes soon!

[Linda]

@intoxicated yoda Sorry for the loss of your father

[Boo]

14 hours ago, intoxicated yoda said:

As far as the tragedies mentioned in my previous post, my dad passed away on the 5th.  Rest in peace, Pops.  You earned it. 

 

Condolences to you and yours Yoda.

 

The ones we loved and lost live on through us.