I failed

[Gabby]

I failed myself and your guys by going back to smoking.  I have stopped again and are on day 5 (yet again).  When will I learn, Its so hard to start again.  I know I should have done an sos but it was just so stupid what started me off.  No excuses I smoked can't take it back.   I am beginning to wonder if I can do this.  I read all the help I can get and yet I still return to smoking under stress.  The last five days has been really hard and I really wondered if I could go through this again.  What makes me fail?.   99% of the time I don't want to smoke. 

[Colleen]

You did not fail.  You merely stumbled.  You are back at it, this can be your sticky quit.  I have a few suggestions.  Take a look at what was going on when you relapsed.  It's possible you may see a pattern.  Be proactive, avoid that particular situation until you are strong enough.  You could also devise a plan of what steps you will take if struggling.  Posting an SOS is always helpful.  You might want to think about making the NOPE pledge every day and posting on the board.  Many here have been where you are, hoping to help others get from there to here.  

[Nicole Diver]

I agree you only fail when you quit quitting, I quit smoking for 4 months last time and was totally miserable b/c I had the wrong mindset.

Allen Carr helped me understand I wasn't missing anything, I read his books and listened to his audible repeatedly when I first quit.

What gets measured gets done, and I think it will help you a lot to keep checking in, at least for now.

[El Bandito]

Hey Gabby. Welcome back!

 

Good practice quit.

 

Quitting is a journey not an event. You can absolutely do it. Keep reading, keep posting, and work out why you reach for the ciggie...once you know why, you can remove those reasons.

 

5 days is a great start! Well done you.

[sharonsiff]

You can do it Gabby, I promise. I too put myself 'mentally' in the -don't think I will ever manage to do this category. Use failed quits to spur you on, no matter how you feel both mentally or physically, use them-stick two fingers up to them and just don't smoke-no matter what.

 

I found using the million faliures helpful this time round by each time I craved I just told myself 'been there, done that too many times before and it never ends well. I won't lie Gabby I found the first three months dreadful-but-the way I feel now, a year on is just beautifully priceless and worth every crappy time I went through. Shoulders back, head down and crack on Gabby-eyes on the prize, you can do this xx

[Doreensfree]

Awww honey.....

Ok,put it behind you.....dust off .....and jump right back on the train.....

It's at your station right now......quick.....

Learn by it......know what happened ,so you can be on your guard next time.....

You can do it....

Hugs

Doreen

[action]

Gabby, sorry to hear the bad news, but you are already on day 5 again, so that is great news!!

 

And you know what? If you can go for 5 days without a cigarette, you can go forever without one.

 

The only thing you have to figure out is that smoking does nothing for you - it will not help in stressful situations, at all. In fact it will make them worse.

 

Are you able to stay close to the board and post a little more often? It will really help to reenforce your quit.

 

And congratulations on 5 days smoke free :d

[soul]

We are creatures of habit.....................

 

Our reaction are the fruit of years of conditioning and it takes time to undo that conditioning.............just like with any "pavlovian dog" behavior we develop.

 

Have a plan B for all events/situations that might be triggers and use the plan B...........................

 

Create a time and place where you can talk about your stress and handle it physically in another way than self-poisoning................Many people feel they can release their anxiety anr/or anger from stress by running, by cleaning their kitchen, by screaming in a pillow, by calling a friend and talking, by taking a long shower, etc, etc, etc............................

 

Take that bull by the horns and show yourself that you are way strong than Nico-Demon..................... Never let a bully rule your life!

 

Chin up and go for it!

[BAT]

Don't touch cigarette.

[robf]

The reason why you failed is because you smoked a cigarette.

 

As I've said with so many people who do this, where did you get your cigarette from? Where did you get the lighter? etc.

 

If you have any smoking paraphernalia in your house, throw it out. Get rid of it. Make it difficult to have a smoke.

 

So if you want a cigarette you'll have to go out to a shop, buy them, buy a lighter etc. By the time you're doing all this you know exactly what you're doing and have plenty of time to rethink your action.

 

There is never 'the perfect time' to quit. It's always hard. You will always encounter stress. And shit will sometimes come your way. Smoking (or indeed not smoking) will not change this. If anything Smoking adds additional stresses to your life.

[ChRiSpY]

Yes...you failed.  Made you feel like sh*t didn't it????  Think about it... think about the fact that your body once again had to go through withdrawal.  It sucks.

 

Remember how bad it sucked and use it as ammo in your new quit.  You can do this... look around... people alot weaker than you have successfully quit.  ANYONE can do it.  Just got to get your mind right.  Make a plan for those stressful times... cause it is going to happen again.  What are you going to do to get through them other than smoking.  Deep breathing????  Walking???? Make a plan ...write it down... refer to it when needed.  That should no longer be a stumbling block for you ... you know it is coming.

 

Stay positve.. stay strong and fight... it will be smooth sailing before you know it.

[sgt.barney]

What makes me fail?.  

 

 

You put a cigarette to your lips, light it, and inhale[1]. That's what.

 

 

 

Easy Peasy

 

 

 

FOOTNOTE:

[1] HINT: Don't do that.

[Nancy]

Gabby, smoking does not relieve stress, it creates it.  If you haven't read Allen Carr, I really recommend it...you have to get it in your mind that smoking does nothing positive for you.  Good for you for getting right back onboard!

[bakon]

All good responses.

 

First is want to quit. If you are ready to quit it's not as hard. If you half way it.....

 

Second is nope.

 

Third is realize it does get easier but is hard for first two weeks. For everybody.

 

Reward yourself for where you are and each step you find as an accomplishment. Each day or every couple at beginning. Then weekly then monthly. It's hard work but nobody is going to treat you for it. Got to do it yourself. Start small and cheap and move up. Magazine at first. Or desert. Maybe a pair of shoes at two weeks. A car at a year. You pick.

 

If I can quit. Anyone can

[MarylandQuitter]

I am beginning to wonder if I can do this.  I read all the help I can get and yet I still return to smoking under stress. 

 

If you're wondering if you can do something, chances are you're only giving it 50% of your best effort.  If you BELIEVE that can and will quit, you will.

 

Aside from alcohol, I think stress is the biggest obstacle for people to deal with and not smoke.  Alcohol is a choice but stress isn't.  We all had to get it through our heads that smoking does not relieve stress.  It's impossible that it can.  Once you understand why you smoke it's a whole lot easier to never pick them up again.

 

Like Rob asks people all the time.  Where did you get the cigarettes from?  When I relapsed, I had been listening to junkie thinking for about two weeks and finally went and bought a pack to relieve stress.  Guess what?  It didn't relieve anything and only added to the stress that I was already under.  You see, I was 9 months quit, read Allen Carr, participated in support groups, had "quit buddies" and the whole nine yards and still relapsed.  The reason was because I still believed that I got something positive from smoking. 

 

Since the lie was exposed, that 1 pack I smoked - I can say with 100% certainty that I didn't enjoy a single puff.  That pack lasted me a week and even though I was still looking for my old friend who used to get me through the tough times, I realized I had been lied to and I was gullible enough to fall for it again, despite the knowledge and support.  It never helped me with anything.  Not one time. 

 

99% of the time you don't want to smoke but at best, only 50% of you believes that you can quit.  Right now you're taking the path of least resistance which is why you continue to smoke.  Start changing the way you look at yourself and smoking.  I will tell you with 100% certainty that you can quit smoking for good.  Pledge not to smoke every single day and be as active as you can on the forum.  Little things like this will help you more than you can ever realize.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=swdfSNiud8I

[BonnieJ]

Sorry Gabby that you had to start over. It is important that you stop believing in the cigarette. The cigarette does nothing for you except make you smell bad and slowly kill you. Maybe you should head over to why quit.com and do some reading. The education about smoking is really what has kept me and many others here quit.

[Nicole Diver]

If you're wondering if you can do something, chances are you're only giving it 50% of your best effort.  If you BELIEVE that can and will quit, you will.

 

Aside from alcohol, I think stress is the biggest obstacle for people to deal with and not smoke.  Alcohol is a choice but stress isn't.  We all had to get it through our heads that smoking does not relieve stress.  It's impossible that it can.  Once you understand why you smoke it's a whole lot easier to never pick them up again.

 

Like Rob asks people all the time.  Where did you get the cigarettes from?  When I relapsed, I had been listening to junkie thinking for about two weeks and finally went and bought a pack to relieve stress.  Guess what?  It didn't relieve anything and only added to the stress that I was already under.  You see, I was 9 months quit, read Allen Carr, participated in support groups, had "quit buddies" and the whole nine yards and still relapsed.  The reason was because I still believed that I got something positive from smoking. 

 

Since the lie was exposed, that 1 pack I smoked - I can say with 100% certainty that I didn't enjoy a single puff.  That pack lasted me a week and even though I was still looking for my old friend who used to get me through the tough times, I realized I had been lied to and I was gullible enough to fall for it again, despite the knowledge and support.  It never helped me with anything.  Not one time. 

 

99% of the time you don't want to smoke but at best, only 50% of you believes that you can quit.  Right now you're taking the path of least resistance which is why you continue to smoke.  Start changing the way you look at yourself and smoking.  I will tell you with 100% certainty that you can quit smoking for good.  Pledge not to smoke every single day and be as active as you can on the forum.  Little things like this will help you more than you can ever realize.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=swdfSNiud8I

Said much better than I could have.

Makes a lot of sense.

[MarylandQuitter]

Said much better than I could have.

Makes a lot of sense.

 

:acute:

[Pippa]

Hey Gabby - only just saw this - not happy you smoked but real glad you have jumped back on board ! Just remember we are here to support you if you need us ! How about letting us know how you going ??

[Still winning]

Hi Gabby, sorry I'm late to respond. x

 

I want to be mad, but I can't hun, I know you are so confused with this smoke/don't smoke yo yo you're on.  This is do able though Gabbyy. All you need to do is not put something in your mouth and light it and the battle is won in small steps where you've said no and chosen to do something else.  

 

Not to be horrid but because I needed to be this firm with myself.  Here is my top dramatic "I don't think I can ever quit" tip.  Education is crucial, it's time to understand what smoking is doing to you. Not the "yeah, could get lung cancer". Actually go to whyquit.com, read a story and imagine for some awful minutes it was you.  Who would stand and look at you with accusing eyes, that you actually CHOSE to do this to yourself through being weak. Who else would sit and cry, wondering how long you had. How would you feel.  Then go on youtube and listen to a COPD smokers cough. Watch people remove actual oxygen tanks to smoke, then re connect them. I literally had to get this brutal with myself as I was living in some serious denial about whether I could or couldn't carry on doing this to myself.

 

Congrats on what must now be 6 days and all the above is said because I really want to see you have some faith in yourself. You can absolutely do this!! x

[bakon]

whats update?

[jimmy]

dear gabby sorry  you had an relapse   but  you can do this  don't give up  tell you self it not impossible that its  im   possible meaning you  so hang in there glad you quit again    hold on to your quit and don't let go :D

[beacon]

How are you doing today?

[Tink]

Hey it takes a knock or two to make a see sense, we are human it happens but it's what you do about it that makes the difference shake it off and start again and never giving up quitting is the answer, stick close to the board post all the ruddy time it will be your life line until you get to grips with it you can do it we know you can please do not shy away x

[Gabby]

I am so hanging out today for a cig, my whole being just wants one.  Its a big fight with the nicodemon , chatter in my head.  I have to keep telling him to clear off.  It's just a day I have to fight hard NOPE NOPE NOPE.  Feeling pretty battle weary today.  This is when I get annoyed that I started again and I put myself in this position AGAIN.  All your good ideas have helped me carry the battle on.  I am going to stick close to the board this time. Keep busy Gabby, don't let him win.  Even the dog knows to stay away from me today.