Reset my quit day

[Tara smith]

I joined here back April.  Did ok until about 3 weeks ago.  Quickly jumped to 7-8 cigarettes a day.  There, I said it .  It’s been a yo-yo ride for quite a few years so relapsing is not new to me.  For the last 3 weeks I have purchased a pack every day only to take out a few and destroy the rest of the pack.  Today I smoked 2 and destroyed the rest of the pack.  So here I am wanting to become a nonsmoker again.
 I know the drill.  I have proved that I can quit but I keep relapsing.  I really like myself and feel so much better when cigarettes aren’t the center of my attention.  My hope is that I can start right now and take this one moment at a time.    And something that would be of benefit is to stay connected here even after I feel all good inside and nicotine free.  But right now I want to get passed these first few days.  I hope I can do it.  I want to make all sorts of promises to myself but it’s one moment at a time. Last night I was low down about life, about smoking and really let out a good cry.  
This is all for now.  Thank you.  
 

[Christian99]

Welcome back, Tara.  You're in the right place to get support and learn more about the addiction and ways to confront and overcome it.  I can't tell you how much I admire the courage at the heart of the new quit(ter):  there's nothing more life and health affirming than the decision to free yourself from smoking.  

 

As you said, you know the drill, and your plan to remain connected after the worst of the initial recovery seems really promising.  That can definitely help solidify your identity as a nonsmoker. 

 

We're all pulling for you, friend, and know that you can do this--

 

Christian99

Nearing 20 Years Quit

[jillar]

Welcome back aboard @Tara smith. I too like your plan to stick around. We encourage all new quitters to stay close to their support for the whole first year to help you get past most of the triggers that you will encounter.

We are here to help you reach your goal of quitting for good

[Doreensfree]

Glad to see you back Tara....

Take time to reread all the great information on the Main Smoking Discussion Board....

It wil help you along ....

Maybe stay closer this time ...and don't forget our SOS ....post there before you take a puff.

It has save countless of Quits ....

 

 

[MLMR]

55 minutes ago, Tara smith said:

I really like myself and feel so much better when cigarettes aren’t the center of my attention. 

Hi Tara, welcome back. What you wrote there says it all, right?

 

Congratulations on your decision! Do you remember what helped you last time and is that something you can incorporate in your plan again?

 

 

[johnny5]

Welcome back, Tara.  You are doing a great thing in quitting smoking.  Stick around, there is a lot of support and knowledge here to help you quit for good.

[Tara smith]

Tears have surfaced.  Thank you for the kind support and replies.  Hugs to all of you.  
 

[Boo]

Welcome aboard Tara.

 

On 9/11/2021 at 12:33 PM, Tara smith said:

 It’s been a yo-yo ride for quite a few years so relapsing is not new to me.

 

I remember being on that cycle.  It was exhausting.

 

Committing to the quit and ridding yourself of that inner turmoil is one of the best things you will ever do for yourself.

 

On 9/11/2021 at 12:33 PM, Tara smith said:

 I hope I can do it. 

 

You can.  It's just a matter of doing it.

[Tara smith]

I did not make it through day 2. Unfortunately I smoked 2 cigarettes today.  I have zero excuses.  I am here and ready to try again.  Thank you for being here for me.  That’s all I know to say right now. 

[Doreensfree]

Sorry to hear you smoked ....

All you can do is dust off and start again ....

Learn by this ...so you will be ready for the triggers next time ....

Take Smoking Off the Table .....No Matter what !!!!......

[Christian99]

Hi Tara--

 

Sometimes a failed quit can prompt us to reassess our overall approach, and it's worth thinking about whether that could be beneficial for you at this point.  Instead of vowing just to "try harder" in general (which is a noble but vague goal), maybe think about adding something(s) different to your next attempt.  After I failed a few times, I took a step back and asked myself what, exactly, I could do differently that might lead to better outcome.  I felt like I had already tried very hard, so I focused the next time on concrete things that I'd do differently, which in my case, turned out to be using nicotine gum and dramatically increasing in my exercise.  Those were my changes, and they may not necessarily apply to you; however, are there some specific activities/interventions that you could bake into your next attempt, for when you're feeling especially vulnerable?  That might help.  

 

We know you can do it--

 

Christian99

Nearing 20 Years Quit

[Kate18]

Hi @Tara smith,

It's great that you keep coming back and keep up the struggle. 

I was a serial quitter for years, and haunted the forum. I knew that I had to find a reason that was stronger than addiction.

 

In January and early February last year, I watched as the virus spread across the map in Asia. I used to work in an infectious disease clinic and I attended conferences. (I coordinated them.)

In one conference about "the big one," that physicians and scientists knew was coming, the speaker showed a map of what the infectious disease medical community believed would happen when a pandemic first broke out and the pattern of spread. It looked to me as though Covid was the one they had expected, and the spread was just as they said.

 

I knew it was only a matter of a short time before it hit the USA. What was killing people was the terrible lung inflammation and congestion. Clearly, as a smoker, and almost 70 at the time, I'd die. My kids would be devastated. 

 

That was my "why" bigger than addiction. I quit cold turkey. There were some times of craving, but I kept thinking of Covid, my lungs, and my kids. I also came here and posted an SOS a few times. The friends you make here can help save your life.

 

A week after I quit, the first official case showed up in the US, about 30 minutes drive north of me. 

 

Find your "why" and you'll find your strength to quit and stay quit.

 

Good luck!!!   

[Tara smith]

Fear and anxiety got the better of me today.  I could feel myself spiral and I could not get passed it.  There was something I needed to take care of and it was not a comfortable experience or feeling.  That coupled with day 2 pangs and I lost it.  Tonight I am ok.  I only know to try again. 
 

[jillar]

@Tara smith when I got those feelings when I was newly quit I got on my forum right away and posted about it. I was too proud to post an SOS so I would word my topic title such that members knew I was in danger of relapse. I remember one title was "Ugh, I want a smoke" and members came right away to talk me through it.

We want the chance to do that for you too. So use us. We have so many different tips between us all that if one thing doesn't work, try another. Every crave you get through makes you stronger where in time they are easily swatted away

[Tara smith]

Hi @Kate18  I have smoked on and off (mostly on) for 50+ years.  Thank you for sharing.  I truly have some very good reasons to keep the quit.  I have my ‘why’ I just need to not let the monster get in the way.  I quit for a while and he shows back up and I start all over again.  I just need to learn that everything is going to be ok (life) and to work and understand my anxiety.  And to recognize my weaknesses so I can put myself in a better position before I stupidly even think that I can light up just once.  Of all people, I really really should know this by now.  Blast those cigarettes!!  They will fool ya every single time!!

[Tara smith]

(((Thank you @jillar))).  You are so right.  I know I will be back soon (probably tomorrow) saying those very same words, “ugh, I want a smoke.”  I actually hope I come back often with those words instead of loosing my quit.  I truly need and want the support.  

[Doreensfree]

Never give up ...trying to give up.....

I remember being told ....Don't smoke ...even if your arse was falling off....

My brain started to take things like this in ...I too was a 52 year smoker ....

It took me alot of undoing those junkie thoughts ....

Keep going ....

[garry mhudson]

Having to start over is still better than giving up trying to quit. I wish you well and read some of the different methods used by members here. Nine days in a hospital with pneumonia  did it for me. Not the best way to get there though. Best wishes going forward.

[Boo]

15 hours ago, Tara smith said:

 I know I will be back soon (probably tomorrow) saying those very same words, “ugh, I want a smoke.”  I actually hope I come back often with those words instead of loosing my quit.  

 

Might as well get comfortable with the quitter's paradox: "I don't want to be a smoker, but I would like to smoke a cigarette."

 

Quitting smoking is basically making one choice repeatedly.  Do I smoke right now and get the immediate and temporary fix that the cigarette offers?  Or, do I continue to build on my quit and reap the many long-term benefits that the quit offers.

 

Instant gratification is tempting but everything worthwhile takes time to build.

 

Invest in yourself Tara, you won't regret it.

[Lust4Life]

@Tara smith Make this place your second home.  Get comfy and stick around.   A forum like this helped me quit & saved my quit many times.  Don’t feel like typing a bunch?  Play some games.  Read old posts.  Stay preoccupied & the crave will pass.  They really do!! 
 

For high anxiety days:  deep breaths.  I used a straw to mimic a cig.   Come to find out, when I got stressed out- my body was craving deep , clean breaths- not smoky, carcinogenic clouds of junk.   I stopped using a straw after about a month.  The prop was no longer needed.   It didn’t reinforce the habit - it just helped me adjust.  It was a familiar action. 
 

Quitting is possible.  Often not fun. But 100% doable.

 

L4L

[Mee]

Glad your back on board Tara.  Many of us had relapses during our quits.  Reach out and post an SOS if you feel like smoking and we can try and help you redirect those thoughts.  

[Kate18]

On 9/14/2021 at 11:22 AM, Boo said:

 

Might as well get comfortable with the quitter's paradox: "I don't want to be a smoker, but I would like to smoke a cigarette."

Yes, good one! You've encapsulated the situation exactly.

[Kate18]

Hi Tara,  looks as though your last post was about 10 days ago. Where are you now? 

Don't be afraid to say it if you're still smoking. 

Just keep coming back. Every day you post something about your journey means that you are thinking about it, trying to find your tipping point to becoming a nonsmoker.

There is no judgement here. No judgement. Just support.

Tell us what you're feeling and the reason you smoked each cigarette, if you smoked. 

Putting the reason you smoked helps to take it out of secrecy, put it into clarity, and diminish its hold on you.