Had a dream that I was smoking

[Steven Drojensky]

Had the weirdest dream last night. I was coughing up an unusually large amount of blood and then proceeded to start smoking cigarettes. When I woke up, I was having thoughts of going to buy cigarettes. Now THAT'S addict thinking and quite insane. So, I thought I would check in here and not go to the store. I am almost at 2 months now and really want to keep my quit permanent. I also go to AA and have 5 1/2 years sober, but people there still smoke and you folks understand nicotine dependence better. I also have therapy on the phone in a few minutes, so I will definitely bring it up there, too.

[jillar]

Good on you for posting @Steven Drojensky, that alone shows you can get past this and save that awesome quit of yours! 

I'm glad you have a phone appt, that too should help get your mind off the crave. 

I'm sorry you have to deal with so many smokers at your AA meetings. Instead of looking at it like you're missing out remember they're doing it because they have to not because they want to. I'm sure they would love to not stink of stale smoke. Unfortunately they can't smell how bad it is but you can now, no thanks right?!

[Linda]

Oh Steven so glad you checked in here before going to buy cigarettes!! You are doing great and 

do not want to throw away your 2 month quit!! Take some deep breaths, drink some water, eat some candy, 

chew some gum most of all don't smoke. Congratulations on 5 and half years sober that is a great accomplishment!!

 Say the serenity prayers and use the 12 steps with your non smoking! So proud of you for coming here first

[johnny5]

I still had the occasional smoking dream even past the 1 year mark.  I don't think I've had any lately (although it is hard to remember your dreams most of the time). 

 

I do believe it is common for quitters to have smoking dreams as smoking was such a part of who we were, physically and psychologically for so long.  They can be scary but don't let them worry you.  As long as you stay smoke free in the awake world, you are good.

 

I also agree with Jillar regarding the smokers in your AA group.  Don't envy them.  Most of them would love to have a couple of months smoke free behind them.

 

You are doing great.  Keep the quit.

Edited July 25, 2021 by johnny5

[Linda]

@Steven Drojensky  How are doing now?Hope your feeling better

[Steven Drojensky]

@jillar @Linda @johnny5 Thanks so much for responding and for your support. It truly means a lot to me. I know that the first year is difficult according to what I've read on this site. I haven't really gone to many live meetings yet as there are still Covid restrictions down here still. I do tell my smoking friends that I have quit because I know from past experience if I keep it to myself that they will offer my one. I treat it just like alcohol. One is too many and a thousand is never enough. I will get through it. I have to kind of eat more, too. I had a bad week of depression and anxiety and I am eating a little more so my mood will improve. I also started walking a little in the morning because it has been around 90° and really humid lately in the afternoon and evening. I am really determined to keep my quit. I lost a few friends and even my girlfriend Kat to cancer these last few years. I don't want to end up like that. I have been hanging out with Kat's son Sam lately and he just graduated high school and is starting Moorpark College next month. He is glad I don't smell like a cigarette anymore. I am glad, too!

[Steven Drojensky]

5 minutes ago, Linda said:

@Steven Drojensky  How are doing now?Hope your feeling better

Yes, much better.

[jillar]

I'm so glad you're feeling better Steven, well done  

[Gus]

Great save Steven! Keep that quit! 

[Martian5]

Great job on the SOS Steven.  At first the dreams can be disturbing, after awhile it is just another blip on the road.  I still have the occasional dream about smoking and it can unsettle me but when I wake up and realize it was just a dream I am ever so grateful for the quit.  I freak out more in the dream than in real life but, again as I awaken I celebrate the quit even more -- it helps me keep grounded and focused so that I never deal with nicotine again.  Good going on realizing what was going on and using all the tools available to you!!!

[d2e8b8]

@Steven Drojensky, great to see you post here, this is why this forum exists and how quits are kept.  

 

Stay strong.

[Linda]

Good job @Steven Drojensky saving your quit

[Steven Drojensky]

@Martian5 I was actually more freaked out about the amount of blood I was coughing up in the dream. The addict thinking kicked in when I woke up and started planning how I could sneak a few even after that jarring dream. So I posted up an SOS right away as I walked down to Starbucks for some iced coffee. And a lot of people chimed in right away. It feels good to know that everyone hear has my back. The rest of the day has been pretty good and I am so glad I didn't give in to smoking in real life.

[Linda]

@Steven Drojensky  All of us on the train have your back, that what we are here for to help each other out

[Rozuki]

Good save on your quit, @Steven Drojensky! I had a smoking dream early in my quit...I woke up crying out and for a few minutes thought I had really smoked.....but my initial response was anger to think I had blown my quit then one of relief to know it was only a dream or rather a nightmare!! Carry on! 

[Boo]

21 hours ago, Steven Drojensky said:

 One is too many and a thousand is never enough. 

 

Bingo.

 

You captured the essence of addiction with that one sentence.

 

You're doing great Steven.  Good job.