Dance with me

[Abby]

Yesterday I romanced the thought of smoking . I thought of the present day ( a tough one ) friends passing , seeing another great friend  ( another musician friend ) for lunch who sat often in my living room playing his guitar and I singing but he can no longer play music due to Parkinsons . I thought of all the current circumstances in my life , no bed of roses and I smelled smoke ! I even saw cigarettes .

I started romancing , seeing a plan , thinking just one wouldn't hurt , quitting was easy and I started to flirt .  Funny how that is isn't it . 

 

In order to end your relationship with smoking you have to recognize that anything that says in your head to smoke when you are quit is romancing .

It is playing with fire and it's addictive behaviour . It's  old tapes playing the ol song and dance . 

 

Dance with me 

 

"Come to me, come to me , I will give you rest .

I will give you , I will give you , 

The very best . 

Take away your hurt , take away your pain 

For old times sake  . 

Just one puff

Dance 

With your good old flame . "

 

"Come take my hand , come draw me close 

Just one puff , maybe two at most

Our little secret , no need to boast ." 

Dance 

With your good old flame "

                                     

                                    Abby 

 

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Dont accept the invitation ,

Keep your quit ,

Be on your toes . 

It's easy to get caught up thinking a cigarette is the lesser of evil and see smoking as being the hero.

Recognize it for what it is when you are romancing , discern it from addict thinking . At first  it will be sneaky then as your quit grows it will be quite obvious and you'll easily be able to dismiss it . Addiction hates rejection . 

 

 Do what you would do with any bad relationship ....

                           Let it go . 

[Katgirl]

Good for you, @Abby, recognizing your inner dialogue for what it was: your addiction trying to lure you back. As for your current circumstances, whatever they may be, it is so easy to think, “I am all alone,  in my struggles. No one else has it as bad as I do, right now. I deserve a break. A cigarette will help.” That is typical addict thinking. The truth is all of us struggle with something. No one is immune from life’s bumps and bruises. Some of us have suffered unimaginable loss. Some have financial difficulties. Some have chronic mental health issues. We all suffer from something. Try to remember that, when your thoughts stray to “a cigarette would be really nice right now. I deserve one, because of what I am going through.” Continue to ignore the “inner addict” voice in your head. Great post, by the way!

[jillar]

Great reminder @Abby at how sneaky nicotine tries to be at our most vulnerable times. Good on you for recognizing it for what it is! 

I'm sorry for the loss of your friend

[Abby]

No one is excempt from this kind of dialogue , it's why quits are lost or given away . I tell my quit like it is so their are no surprises for newcomers . 

 

My quit is strong . It's not going anywhere unless I give it a way .  

 

I want people to know they can pinpoint addict thinking and trouble before it happens . We can choose to smoke or not . Smoking takes a plan and action . 

Smoking can be a want or a need or be caused by a trigger that messages old tapes . 

 

How we think and act is key to failure or success .

You don't have to be a positive thinker that is  a term I hated in the beginning because im far from positive but you need to be aware that your emotions and attitude can be a huge factor in your success or failure to keep quit Day to day . Addiction knows you best and  can cast a hook in vulnerable times if you aren't able or are unwilling to face the truth . 

Smoking carved deep pathways and craters in our minds that kept us stuck in addiction . Change in that thinking takes time , even years to undo .  

 

Recognize it ,  change it , act upon it accordingly to save yourself from having to repeat Quits over and over . 

 

I indeed smelled smoke yesterday . It prompted this post to hopefully help others . 

I noticed during lunch yesterday my friend had his package of cigs in his shirt pocket . Funny how they make those 20 packs fit perfectly in the pocket. My dad also kept his pk in his pocket , but back then it was 25s and the shirt pockets were bigger . Big T smarts ., I indeed smelled and saw smoke yesterday for real . It prompted this post and a reminder how old tapes can be so easily triggered . 

My friend has never smoked in front of me and knows I quit years ago . Now that's a kind and respectful friend He is . I could tell though that he is smoking more .. pethe anxiousness not to visit after lunch was a tell all . To get to home fast or somewhere where he could have the after dinner smoke was obvious to me ( being one who used to do the same .) Those were my old tapes . I was dancing with memories and so grateful I don't smoke anymore . 

 

Stay quit .. any thought of smoking is addiction wanting you back . Don't bite . 

[Opah]

Soft and subtle, sneaky and cool better watch out for that little bit of drool.  whispers

 

[Gus]

Great post Abby! 
Being able to read posts like this during my initial quit days is what kept me going!!! This post will definitely help a lot of people. Thank you for being so open and honest. 

[Abby]

@Opah , that was great. Thanks for posting that .