True SOS-wanting to go and buy cigarettes

[Katgirl]

@Kris, good job reaching out, when the devil gets in your ear and tells you to light up. I like your strategies. Staying in your PJ’s , so, you aren’t ready to go out to the store and buy cigarettes is genius! I’m from California, so that wouldn’t work, for me. People dress any which way to go out. , including me. I went out to the store, for cigs, in my PJ’s, many times. No one blinked an eye. keep up the good work, and, as already suggested, get your ticker started. Looking at it, daily, really does inspire us to keep up the good work. There are directions available on how to set it up. Keep on keeping on…

[Abby]

Thanks for the clarification Kris and glad you are doing better now . Working your way through is good l I used to do that as well . 

I'm still getting to know people here so this helped . I think I have you confused with someone else then , so it's appreciated you replied . 

 I went back to the beginning .. it was @Kate18 who said she lives reclusively and has no friends . This is where I got mixed up as Kate initially started the post . 

 

@Kate18 

How are you doing now ? I hope you are feeling better too . 

[Kris]

Abby,

You may have me confused with Kate18 but I think we maybe alike in some ways.  I had many friends when I was still working. So often things change when you retire.  It is 4 in the morning and I have been to bed yet. Been stressing over my son and DIL gone to Mexico for a short vacation, should have been back tonight but have not heard from them. I will call them in the AM.  Really struggling, want to smoke so bad but I know it will not help calm me. I know that it is all in my head. I just want that feeling to go away, it really is sneaking up on me all the time.  40 years of smoking will not go away anytime soon, I know it will take a lot of work.

i just take it a day at a time and pray for strength.

I don't know how much fight I have left. I have been thru a lot of hard things, taking care of husband with cancer, working full time, raising a teenager in high school. Husband passed, my mother got sick, moved her in for a couple of years until I had to place her in care. In my head smoking was the only thing that got me thru the tough things.  Now I know that is not true but that is still what I want to do. I have to find something......that will comfort but not hurt me. At this point a quick heart attack  would end the misery, God help me

K

[Katgirl]

@Kris, you seem to be in a bad place.  Wishing for “a quick heart attack” is a cry for help. Borrowing trouble, by imagining something must be wrong, because your family is late getting home from vacation, is counter productive. You should consider consulting a Mental Health Professional, to discuss treatment options for your obvious depressive state. You may need medication, and/or therapy. Smoking certainly is not the answer. Please get help, if you are feeling so overwhelmed. 

[Abby]

 

@KrisYou've had lots on your plate but you got through some of those things . You are a strong person . I can't relate to all , but I know the worry . If it helps remember these are covid times , lots of restrictions entering and re entering into the country for good reason . Testing too I believe , then awaiting results etc . Hopefully they will be in touch with you soon and you'll be filled in to their experience . 

My children just returned as well and found with covid it got a bit confusing w testing etc as well a last minute hurricane caused issues trying to find out if they could get info on that , cancel etc ..but your kids have been raised well , you are a good mom , trust they will figure it out if need be and they will call when able . Good idea to call this morning . Remember Many things are not in our control and many things we worry about don't come true . 

 

You are also smart in recognizing that because you smoked forty years it will take time for this need to smoke to resolve your problems is a want addiction wants and it will pass and all you have to do is keeping working the program and get through . It will get easier , I promise you . 

 

Sometimes when we are frustrated we say things we don't mean . I hope that's the case on thinking you would want to end the misery by heart attack . Think of your families worry should that happen to someone they love . You are as precious to them as them to you.  As katgirl says no harm talking to someone if you need to .

 

Good job posting . I recommend if you are struggling with your quit and wanting to smoke put out a new SoS in a new thread so we know it's you and as you are doing here talk your way through . It will be looked at quicker I think in a new thread by me for one and I promise I won't get you confused then with Kate18.

 

Has anyone heard from her . I was wondering how  she is doing as well . Has she been on line ? I will watch for her l I hope she is ok .

 

@Kris I am retired as well . Many here are .  I think we've all had our plates full of one thing or other . We are all unique . It's life . Life has ups and downs . Smoking won't help .. it's not a solution . Hang in there , keep your precious quit and life . Learn to cope without them and you will as your quit grows .. be patient . 

Let us know when you've heard from the family . 

Walking with you .. you aren't alone . 

 

Try to take some deep breaths .. breathe in relaxation and slowly exhale the anxiety until it is manageable .. repeat inhale , exhale the anxiety .. lower the number until it's gone or managable .  

[Kris]

Dear Katgirl

I know the kids are fine, just like we always worry, just a Mom thing. Yes I am depressed and angry. Having a hard time with the quit but have not given up.  Missing all the people that I have lost and having a pity party. I have seen the doctor, she says this is all normal considering all the changes. I am so happy for you and your big trip/adventure.  You have the world by the tail. I hope to grab it too in the future.

 

K

[Abby]

Again new here maybe there is just one big SoS ... maybe the moderators can tell us how this works or me lol sometimes I am slow catching on to things now . 

@jillar

[Kris]

Dear Abby,

Thanks for your reply. Don't need a doctor when I have you guys. You understand how hard this is and your nerves just take over.  I know the kids are fine, I always worry when they are out of the country. I do not know how Mexico is handling the Covid crisis.  They are both vaccinated but no one ever expected the pandemic and we (the world) are still unsure of what else could happen.

Having the glass have empty instead of half full. I will get over it in time.

I think I need a drink.

K

[Dianne]

I too Kris smoked for 40 years and just now celebrating 3 months smoke free. For me I find simply thanking the creator every day for keeping me safe from cigarettes today a simple.... but powerful thing that helps keep me on the quit train. You should be proud through all this that you have kept your quit. I also have found that exercise has helped me to feel better emotionally and physically. I started literally walking 4 houses down and back and it grew from there. I truly hope you find some ways to treat yourself well (you deserve it) and that soon you find yourself in a more positive space. 

[Kris]

I understand I also have/am been confused on how this works. I think it maybe kind of like facebook but I don't use that.  We will figure it out.  Jillar seems to be a very good tech person and moderator.  She taught me not to start new threads and there was a good way to stay on track from my intro post. I still don't have it but feel comfortable in how I am posting.

K

[Katgirl]

@Kris, I am really good at pretending to have the world by the tail. Sometimes, I have to fake it til I make it. Truth be told, I suffer from anxiety, I am getting over a Diverticulitis flare up, and after more than a month, on the road, I’m looking forward to heading home, in a few days. Don’t envy me! Walking in my shoes ain’t easy. On the plus side, I am doing well with my quit, have a wonderful life partner, a beautiful large family, and continue to use strategies, that help with my anxiety, including talking to a therapist, once a week. You may want to try that last bit.

[Kris]

I understand I also have/am been confused on how this works. I think it maybe kind of like facebook but I don't use that.  We will figure it out.  Jillar seems to be a very good tech person and moderator.  She taught me not to start new threads and there was a good way to stay on track from my intro post. I still don't have it but feel comfortable in how I am posting.

K

[Katgirl]

@Kris, sometimes you have to X out your copied previous post, or it will default to copying it, when trying to make an additional response, in the same thread. I am telling you this,because your last post is a direct copy of your post, just previous to it.

 

Edited July 19, 2021 by Katgirl

[jillar]

@Abby and @Kris, yes it is recommended to start a NEW SOS thread in this forum if you are struggling. All the mods and members who follow this forum will be notified and know someone needs help. 

@Kris, we suggested to you to start one thread and post your journey to it because you were posting so many topics that you were having a hard time finding them all. And we were having a hard time responding to them. We don't want you to be afraid to post topics though. Especially if its an SOS.

[Doreensfree]

SOS ...is a great tool...it has saved countless of Quits ....and yes if it's done in that thread ...

Some members get alerted ...

Keep going Kris ....upwards and Onwards ...

 

Abby ........I'm in touch with Kate ...she is doing ok ...and has found some useful help ...

She is in a better place now ...

Edited July 19, 2021 by Doreensfree

[Kris]

Thanks Jillar, I really appreciate your help on the site for the non tech people,

I have got the needed support in my struggle and hope that (I know that) it will get easier as time passes. I will become a different person if I just stick with my quit. Just reading other peoples struggle makes me want to do conquer smoking and other challenges we face everyday.

K

[Kris]

Katgirl,

Thought I was getting it, I will keep working on learning with everyone's help.

I  must say that I wanted you to change your profile pic awhile back.  Now when I see your pic I am jealous of the new happy beautiful pic.  You must have a secret that the rest of girls need to know to keep looking so young.  Is it California, your special someone or the adventure of new things and your quit? I am happy that I don't have or know how to put a pic on, if I did you would get a pic of my pups, they are the best part of me.

K

[Doreensfree]

Beauty is in the beholder Kris ....

Loving yourself is the first step .....trying to have a better life style ...

Quitting for me and many others here ,was only the beginning of the journey ....

I've seen some of the ladies on the Train ....we are a Gorgeous Bunch ..

[Abby]

Kris don't be hard on yourself . I've been trying years to understand technology . I'm not getting any better lol but people here are very understanding . Don't let it worry you . Don't make it stressful for you. See it it as a safe place where you can be curious and explore technology a bit while also keeping the quit . We have that opportunity without pressure . Others as you know have been so helpful to us both and understand . 

 

Its not about perfection or technology really anyway ( my opinion ) it's about quitting smoking and we do the best we can , mistakes and all . 

You must have already learned I'm a lousy speller .. a lousy computer speller lol .. technology stole that skill I used to have with auto correct that never corrects properly btw lol . 

 

Re pictures... everyone here is beautiful inside and out. 

 

I didnt take pictures in real life because I didn't see myself as beautiful and a very bad experience but let me tell you if you aren't taking pictures do because if you have kids they want those memories no matter what you think you look like . I learned the hard way .. now I wish I had my ugly pictures and I don't and they don't . 

 

Sorry I highjacked this a bit but I want to thank you for being so open and honest . You are so lovely . 

I see a beautiful person Kris .

 

As far as me I am just an A for now too l. No pics and that's ok . Not real comfortable even after ten years on the net doing that but One day maybe .  

[Katgirl]

15 hours ago, Kris said:

Katgirl,

Thought I was getting it, I will keep working on learning with everyone's help.

I  must say that I wanted you to change your profile pic awhile back.  Now when I see your pic I am jealous of the new happy beautiful pic.  You must have a secret that the rest of girls need to know to keep looking so young.  Is it California, your special someone or the adventure of new things and your quit? I am happy that I don't have or know how to put a pic on, if I did you would get a pic of my pups, they are the best part of me.

K

Firstly, what a lovely thing to say. I think one advantage is being a bit overweight. It fills in the wrinkles. High cheekbones help, too. On paper, my life is great, but I wouldn’t wish my anxiety issues on anyone. I talk to a therapist for a full hour, every week, and have a psychiatrist for meds, should I need them. I do the best I can to take care of myself, but do not envy me. My life can be difficult.

[Kate18]

On 7/17/2021 at 8:07 AM, Abby said:

 

@Kate18 

How are you doing now ? I hope you are feeling better too . 

Hi, @Abby,

Thank you, I'm well. Sorry for the long time to reply--my dog had a medical/surgical emergency and the past two weeks have been about nothing but her. While she was so fragile and still in the hospital, and when it looked as though she would die, I thought about smoking a couple of times. The thoughts passed. Nothing would have been gained, and I'd have lost a year and a half quit. There's never a good reason to resume smoking.

[Abby]

Kate good to hear from you ... is your avatar that sweet pup . I'm glad she is feeling better . I have my granddog here and she's kinda under the weather today too but I think she is missing her master. Grandmas are cool but not as cool as being home in their own surroundings and cozy beds . 

I am so glad you never smoked and glad you are back . You've been missed . 

 

[Doreensfree]

Hope your fur friend makes a speedy recovery Kate .....

Well done for staying strong ....❤

[Katgirl]

Good for you, Kate!  Way to stay strong. I know how scary that must have been. Hope your doggie is on the mend!

[jillar]

@Kate18, I'm so sorry your poor pup had to go through all that. She must be super proud of her momma for keeping that awesome quit though