True SOS-wanting to go and buy cigarettes

[Kate18]

I am torn. I am depressed all day. I researched how to boost dopamine levels in the brain, and alcohol and nicotine were on the list. I've already had two beer. Now I'm feeling even worse and want to go and  buy cigarettes. I feel desperate. If I call one of my children, they'll be upset. I don't know what they'd say. I could call my doctor, but it could be tomorrow before she'd call me back. Buying cigarettes would help immediately with a mood amelioration. But then I'd ruin more than a year's quit. It's a toss up--my year+ quit, or seriously depressed without relief in sight.  

[jillar]

Try your air cigarette @Kate18! You do not want to lose all that time, you will be so much more depressed than you are now! Can you call a friend and have a nice talk, maybe reminisce about fun times?

Good on you for coming and posting, that should tell you right there that you want to keep your quit  

[Kate18]

Just now, jillar said:

Can you call a friend and have a nice talk, maybe reminisce about fun times?

Good on you for coming and posting, that should tell you right there that you want to keep your quit  

I live reclusively and have no friends. I have a dog for my companion. Otherwise, Jillar, that would be a wonderful idea. Thank you.

[jillar]

Maybe call your kids and tell them you're having a tough day while leaving out the thinking about buying a pack thing? Maybe they can help cheer you up? Or go check out our Social forums, lots of fun and funny stuff there to help brighten your mood

[Doreensfree]

Please talk to your doctor as soon as you can Kate ....

Hope they can give you some relief ...

Hang in there ...❤

[jillar]

Also, time to open up that toolbox @Kate18, back to basics on what worked to get you this far and use it again. Today will pass, the crave won't last as you know. But caving in will start that whole quitting nightmare over again, you fought wayyyyyy to hard for your freedom to let that happen!! 

[Kate18]

More than caving into nicotine addiction, I don't want to waste the money.

[Boo]

Sometimes we ask questions that we already know the answer to.

 

Throwing away your quit now would be a temporary fix that will lead to instant regret.

 

There are many other options when it comes to increasing dopamine levels: exercise, sleep, consuming more protein, listening to good music, etc..

 

Kate, I'm not going to pretend to know how you're feeling right now.  However, I do know that if you find yourself in a hole the best thing to do is stop digging.

 

Do the right thing for yourself and continue to build on the good decisions you've made.

[jillar]

2 minutes ago, Kate18 said:

More than caving into nicotine addiction, I don't want to waste the money.

Well then there you go  Hey, why not go look at that awesome stock portfolio you've aquired with all your quit money, that may take your mind off smoking.

[Kris]

Okay this can't happen, go outside turn on the water hose, take off you I pants,  make a great big mud hole and jump in......no you may not wash it off yet..I promise you will not go to the store in your underwear covered in mud. The feeling will pass I know I just got out of the shower.

K

[Kris]

Sorry I was typing fast, that should  read take off your pants....

K

[NADA]

.

 

Edited September 14, 2021 by BKP

[Doreensfree]

Maybe if some of our Members whom understand more what Kate is feeling in her depression 

Have some advice for her ...

What coping mechanisms did you use ...

Thank you ..❤

[d2e8b8]

@Kate18 Glad you posted here.  That tells me you don't really want to smoke - after all, you've got such a great quit going.  

 

Feel free to post here what you're going through, it might help you cope.

[Kate18]

6 minutes ago, Doreensfree said:

Maybe if some of our Members whom understand more what Kate is feeling in her depression 

Have some advice for her ...

What coping mechanisms did you use ...

Thank you ..❤

Thank you, Doreen

[Kris]

Kate18,

Has it passed, do you feel better yet.  I like you have no one to call, I do have my 3 dogs but they don't listen well. I am a hermit, I don't leave the house unless I have to, so I understand where you come from on this, like there is no one who cares, no one who knows you are suffering, no one to help you, but that is not true....we all care, we do not want you to suffer, we want to help!

K

[johnny5]

@Kate18  Smoking will not cure depression or sadness.  In fact, if you do light up and relapse, it will just make things worse.

 

I had several attempts to quit before this one and each relapse I instantly regretted.

 

I remember you quoting a line from my signature a while back, "If you have just one you will be right back where you started, and where you started was desperately wishing you were where you are right now" and that made me feel really good, even though I wasn't the person who originally posted that.  But, it is really true.

 

Think about it, Kate.  You know lighting back up is a mistake because.....

 

"If you have just one you will be right back where you started, and where you started was desperately wishing you were where you are right now."

 

You have done great by being quit for over a year.  If you are still struggling, you may want to talk to a doctor about your depression but I guarantee you that smoking now will just make things much worse.

 

Keep the quit, Kate.

[Martian5]

Kate18, stay strong.  What I did (and still do), besides coming here, was to take stock of where I am at and what I have accomplished with quitting.  Take time to measure the positives and negatives -- a deep look and that will give you encouragement.  I always remember my medical staff that I see, they continue to be impressed with what I have done and continue to this day state how my health had improved.  I still have medical problems from smoking but I am now able to fight those problems.  You can do this, keep strong!!!!!!

[garry mhudson]

Stay strong and try to relax. you`ve come to far to go back because you will only regret it. I would see the doctor as soon as possible for solutions. you don`t want to smoke Kate18. take a chance and reach out to your children. Hang in there. Your tougher than this. Best wishes.

[Linda]

@Kate18 I have been where you are!! Depression is a very hard thing to deal with. But I do know I have throw a quit and not as long as you have. And when I did it just made me feel worse about myself and more depressed. Don't give in Kate to the crave!! Please reach out and let us help. Try going for a walk with your dog Go for a car ride, take a long hot bath with some relaxing music. Eat something yummy. Just don't smoke. Yoh have worked to hard to get where you are. Have a good cry if you need to I did that many times!!!!

[Gus]

Keep your quit @Kate18! Don’t give it up! Please call your kids. You may be surprised at how they respond. 

[Kate18]

Thank you, my friends. I took the advice of many of you. I put in calls to my kids, but I know my son is at Gettysburg with his family on an historical tour, and my daughter is working on materials for the youth group she runs. I walked the dog for a while, then went to the store for a Hagan Das coconut pineapple ice cream and ate the entire thing. 

 

I looked further at medications that might help and their side effects. My doctor isn't available until June 10th, unfortunately. She has someone to cover, but I don't want to meet with someone I don't know and explain the history of why I can't have the obvious medications he'd be suggesting. 

 

Cheese always makes me feel cheery; apparently it acts on the opioid receptors. I got corn chips at the store, too, so maybe I'll make nachos. 

 

I didn't do the garden hose, water puddle and jumping up and down in it because I have no garden hose nor yard to make a puddle in, but it was an amusing idea.

 

I did take a couple of hour nap after the ice cream and feel better. The danger of going out and buying cigarettes, and relapsing, is past.

 

Thank you for being here to act as a sounding board and provide some suggestions that I was temporarily forgetting while I was in a cloud of blue mood. Thanks everyone.

[Abby]

I am just on my way out so didn't get a chance to read through the comments and just quickly browsed at your post so I hope I'm not outta line , but want to say this ...

You don't need cigarettes do you . You want them thinking it's what's you need but that's addictions lie and it's using your depression to reel you right back in . Take a breath . We are here for you .

 

You just want some relief a break from the depression .  I get that , depression , anxiety all those things can wear a person down . It hurts . It's not your fault and there are things you can do . 

Put the call in to your dr . At least having a plan is something to give you hope . Calling your family is a good idea  too. . You don't have to tell them your depressed but if you do what's wrong with that . Nothing . It's been a hard year for everyone .

 

Or ...

 

A wise young man once told me to go stick my head in a bucket of ice cold water ..so I did it . It will make you come to your senses lol . Go , do it .  Losing a years quit for one cig will lead to more as you know . No one stops at one and you won't be different .  The consequences of that one cigarette are far greater than sticking out this rough spell . Trust me . 

 

From one whom regrets a puff . Do something different . As you know both cigs and booze cause a crash . Neither are the solution . 

 

One isnt enough  

Don't fall for the lie .

Drink water not booze ok .

Walk if you can .

I'm off to walk too here in 31 degrees and then stopping at two neighbors to water their flowers .. come along for the walk . Nurture your quit.. go buy yourself flowers not cigarettes .

 

Sorry if this post is choppy I gotta run .. no smokin ya hear ... we got ya . 

 

Hugs 

 

[Gus]

@Abby @Kate18

[Linda]

good job Kate you fought the crave with a brave heart and you won!!!!