TICK TOCK

[Gus]

I started my new job yesterday and what can I say? After not working for 20 years?! I’m sure that I do not need to describe how I was feeling. But what I do need to say is at some point I started feeling a little harried and agitated so I  checked my phone to see what time it was because it just had to be close to my 1::15 lunch break?? I literally almost broke down because it was ONLY just before noon. So, from that point on I was agitated the rest of day. I actually wanted a cigarette off and on for the rest of the day!!! When I finally went to lunch I went to the bathroom and cried for a full minute before I turned that off because I would still be crying, I think. lol Anyway, all of that just to say, “No matter how well that you think you are doing, that monster is still there. Be vigilant! Guard your quit! The rest of your life is just going to have to be one big long NOPE!!!” I’m just hoping today goes a little smoother.

[Gus]

P.S. Would I have smoked? I would have seriously considered it. I did consider it. Thankfully, I was no where around a cigarette. But, I would not have smoked. It would have taken to many purposeful and willful actions contrary to every thing I’ve gone through these past few months and so out of sync with how I think now that I know that I would have NOT smoked. Taking gum with me today. Not much I can do to distract myself from the cravings while standing in a room full of littles because you know, they are not distracting enough.

[Katgirl]

Congrats on the new job, AND not smoking. It must be scary getting back out there. Just be vigilant and stick close to us…

[Kris]

Glad to hear the update.  I have been thinking of you.  Starting a new job is so stressful.  All the new things to learn, meeting new people etc.  I am glad you are taking some gum today.

 

The only thing I can suggest try to just go crazy keeping busy. Offer to do any thing that will help with that. Move around the room if you can,, stay engaged with the children, check and help them with their work if you can. If the teacher does not need you for the slow times maybe she can check with the office to see if you can help in other rooms.  The added bonus of all this is that they will see that you are a hard worker and a team player. You will get that salary to start increasing fast.

Hope today is easier!!

K    

[jillar]

Ugh @Gus, sounds like a tough first day for you. Hopefully you won't need your nicotine gum. You don't want to reintroduce nicotine into your system! Maybe try the air cigarette instead? 

Hope you're having a much better day today now that hat the first day jitters have passed

[Doreensfree]

Aw Gus ..

After a 20 year break ,I can only imagine how things have changed in the work place ..

So glad you kept your precious quit ....

Regular gum is a good idea ...using nicotine gum is a step backwards...

If you can remember our SOS ...there is always someone here to help you along ...

Hoping tomorrow is a much better day .

[d2e8b8]

@Gus, Congratulations on the job!

I was thinking the other day when I read about your job that you're brave to be willing to spend a full day with pre-school kids.  I would be terrified of entering that class and yes, for sure would feel harried and agitated.  Kids have always been able to bully me and I don't have a clue how to respond other than to let them.

 

Admire your courage for doing what you're doing and surviving it without giving in.  Hope to see more updates.

 

[Katgirl]

Kids are great! I spent a lot of time with my 7 and 4 year old granddaughters today. Such a delight! I feel very blessed to have 12 grandchildren, and lucky number 13 will make his entrance in November.  Then I will have 8 granddaughters and 5 grandsons.  On Saturday, I will see a third son, and his two children, as well as my brother. This whole trip is about seeing family and friends. @Gus, each day will get easier for you, as you acclimate to working again.  In a few short weeks, you will be loving it! In the meantime, stay in the moment, focus on what you see, feel and hear.  When all your senses are engaged, anxiety lessens.  Trust me, I know!

Edited July 1, 2021 by Katgirl

[Gus]

Thank you so much @Katgirl! Everything you said is true. I’m only three days in on the job and I know its going to take time to adjust. I do hope that you enjoy your time with your family! I can tell that you love them all very much!

[Kris]

Katgirl,

I am soooooo jealous of you.  I  only have one child and one grandchild with everything you have going on I am surprised you can even take a breath.  I know

you won't waste any more of those on cigarettes. You will use them to help your grandchildren blow out birthday candles.

K

[Gus]

Thank you @d2e8b8! Yeah, these kids run right over me also. That’s why I am not a teacher. I’d rather play and create chaos with the kids than correct them and teach them. LOL 

[Gus]

Today was better @Doreensfree! It is rough going though and I am hear to say…you could never pay daycare workers too much.  Never. LOL oh and I and forever done with any kind of nicotine.

[Gus]

Thank you @Kris! I’m slowly getting the hang of it. I think that I’m going to adjust. It is just such a big change for me. It’ll be cool. Or not. LOL

[Katgirl]

I am blessed. I do wish I didn’t live thousands of miles away, but I make sure to see them all, when I can.  Because of COVID, this is the longest time I have gone without visiting. I last saw everyone a year and a half ago. If I didn’t have a life in California, I would move back here. But, I am hopelessly in love with my guy, so will stay put.  I do love California, too.  Everyone is happy and successful, and blessed with healthy kids. That’s all a Mom can ask for…

[Gus]

Thank you @jillar! No worries on ANY nicotine or nicotine replacements. I will never go through withdrawal again!!!! NOPE! NOPE! NOPE! 

[d2e8b8]

@Gus, Sounds like you may be starting to enjoy the job a tiny little bit.  If that's the case then isn't it wonderful.  I remember the day you posted when you were still interviewing.