Be prepared to be uncomfortable to be comfortable .

[Abby]

Beginning your quit ? Be prepared to be uncomfortable a while . There will mostly likely be days ya wanna scream or tears will flow like a river that never runs dry . You may want to take a hammer and pound nails into a piece of wood for every time you got angry at what someone said or did . Stock up on them you are going to need a lot of nails lol . Spouses beware ! Friends beware ! 

 

In the beginning it's normal to not want to accept the things that might be the truth and it's also common to gaurd our feelings . A cigarette protected us so we believed . We stuffed in many of our feelings instead blowing our top or dealing with them . The good news is you will learn that you can deal with the things you thought you couldn't and it won't take work , it just happens . 

 

Its a funny and a scary feeling to feel that our emotions are so exposed to everyone , but trust me everyone who has quit or quitting along with you understands . 

 

When you first quit there will be many things you might not want to hear . It's the way of addiction . Addiction is cunnning . We all  come to realize in our own journeys just how cunning  it is .

 

You may even feel personally attacked and think no one understands or be defensive like I was , but for some reason I stuck around because deep down I knew they were speaking to my truth . Deep down I knew It was something I needed  to hear to stop with the denial that was holding me bound to addiction. 

 

One day we will all think of someone in this community or another forum who either liked us or not because truth is not all will like me or you but regardless we will take something away from the experience that was helpful . We think supportive means seeing eye to eye . We think supportive is being kind ( even overly kind ) but while that's nice every child needs good guidance and so do we adults sometimes . 

 

How hard we worked to make our excuse to smoke convincing to others and how hard we worked to believe our excuse was rational and legitimate .  If someone saw through it they became a threat and attack on our character .How hard we worked for acceptance . Acceptance to come back to the community promising ourselves and others that we got it , we will do better . This was going to be the quit ! We worked at being convincing didn't we ? It was a job for many of us  ! Addicts are good at creativity but addiction is also good at being creative . It knows you , what weakness you have and what makes you tick. 

 

The only way to beat addiction is with the truth , the whole truth , and nothing but the truth . Face the things that hurt . 

 

The moment things get hard isn't it true we start searching for the best feasible , most believable reason to convince you and ourselves why we gave up yet again ? I don't think I was the only one was I ?  

 

I can't tell you how many times elders saw through me and each elder in their own unique way tried to help me see my mistakes before I took the next puff . Theyb knew one puff is all it takes to start a battle of the mind and only one mistake restarts the quit smoke cycle . Some of those elders which was  ( my stinkin thinkin ) wanted to push me off the edge but had I taken the step forward I gaurentee you somehow they would have been at the bottom to catch me . 

 

Be prepared to hear things you might not like in the beginning ,  be prepared that your addict self will still want to win , it will want you to debate , retaliate and fight and the harder you pull away or defend yourself , the harder it pull you in too .

 

Think of it as a tug of war . If you want a tug of war and you want to constantly struggle with your quit and romance smoking it's happy to play the game . Keep fighting to hold on or surrender and let it go . You will be ok . Drop the rope and see what will happen to Nikodemon . 

Let him fall on his a$$ . 

You are a very important part of addictions plan and a very important part of yours .  The ball is truly in your court . 

 

It might feel like an uncomfortable  place to be being your own boss when cigarettes dictated your day for years but it's only for a while and you'll be comfortable in your new role . 

 

You can never have another cigarette again if that's truly what you want ... no more fear , less anxiety and happy . Your choice. 

 

 

 

Edited June 6, 2021 by Abby

[Gus]

Excellent. So true. Thank you. It’s hard. It’s so hard. And it hurts. Thank you for your honesty and for the pep talk!!!

 

[Boo]

2 hours ago, Abby said:

The only way to beat addiction is with the truth , the whole truth , and nothing but the truth . Face the things that hurt . 

 

Another of my favorite quotes...

[Gus]

@Boo!

[Lilley]

A great post @Abby but tough love which works for me isn't the forums new ethos. You have to only say something positive or not say anything at all.

[Abby]

Hang in there @Gus, you are doing great , always go back to the basics if it gets too hard . Remember the Ds discuss , delay , drink water , take deep breathes , and distract . Remember halt , ask yourself if you are hungry angry lonely or tired . It's not  a cigarette you want , maybe you've overworked yourself ,  maybe you are tired maybe you skipped dinner , maybe you are just angry it's been a rough day or Covid is  still in the way ie . Take some deep breathes. You have done excellent , you are doing this with hard work put into it . Your effort will pay off . That hurt that gut wrenching hurt too Gus ,  I promise you that too will go away and be replaced with utmost joy and peace . One day at a time , one moment if need be , just for today . 

You are awesone ! . You can do this.                                                                                                      

 

Dear Friends 

 

The decision to quit,

Wasn’t easy I know

    The fear that entrapped us,

    We had to let go.

 

We really weren’t sure, 

Of what lie ahead,

   This addiction consumed us,

   And messed with our head .

 

        But within we found the courage, 

  To battle each crave and strife 

    And the chains that held us captive

      No longer consume our life !

 

    Lets rise with brightened spirit!

  Rise UP!

Yes, Greater still!

    Rise UP! and shout with joy  !

     The FREEDOM that you feel.

                                                                           

For you have risen to the challenge! 

            Each day one, by one!

Quitting is “NOT” impossible!

             It truly CAN BE DONE!

 

                                           

                                                                                                                                             

                           Love Abby 

 

         

                                                                                                                         

 

 

 

 

Edited June 6, 2021 by Abby
Spelling errors

[Abby]

@Boo love that meme . Thanks for posting . 

[Abby]

@Lilley I needed both as well , even had to be tough on myself and use my own stubbornness to refuse to lose to get through some days . Every day was different for a long time and there were days I couldn't handle what I thought was judgement or criticism at all , but I always knew in my heart that for some reason it was always given with my best interest and my quit in mind . I still remember everyone who played a role in my quit from the comedian , to the lecturer , to the drill master , to the hugger . To the one who offered hope and the one who repeatedly said nope and the one that never thought they even contributed , but did . All supported me over ten years and I'm ever so grateful to all . It took a village to raise this addict out of the ashes . This was one who thought for the longest time that I was different and no one could make a quitter outta me . Guess I was wrong . 

[Gus]

Thanks @Abby! I’m feeling tons better. On my guard and forging forward. You always give the greatest encouragement! I’m so thankful that I found QuitTrain.

[PeachFuzz]

@Abby

 

You are amazing.

 

I so enjoy and appreciate your posts. You are SUCH an asset to this forum.