Struggling

[Linda]

I know I've been here before but I losing it tonight. Friend just tested positive with covid already lost some to the virus.Just got a call from my friend in south Carolina she's at the hospital she fell and broke her arm bad brake and the only one with her is her son you has a mental disability and can't drive. She has no family or really close friends she has only been out there for about a year. I know I should not be falling apart. But I also had other personal shit going on today on top of that. About at my last straw. I no smoking won't help but damm I want to. Sorry for the rant but I don't want to cave. I'm sorry I'm here again.thanks for listening

[jillar]

Don't ever be sorry for posting Linda, that's why we're here!

First, I hope venting helps a little. Secondly, has your friend been vaccinated?

[Linda]

@jillar No not yet, thats what bad. 

[jillar]

If she has then they say the virus won't be as severe. As far as your friend who fell goes, do you think she would want to be the reason you gave up that four month quit? I don't think so. 

You can get past this just like you did before because you are stronger than this crappy addiction!

Ok so that doesn't mean she'll get a severe case of it regardless so try to stay positive. 

[Linda]

@jillar no, but I am usually a person who has their shit together for goodness sakes I worked in the back of the ambulance for years an handled horrible crisis. My emotions are like out of control. And don't like it at all

[jillar]

Fyi @Linda, its ok to want to just as long as you don't! And you know why we can't smoke is because we're addicts and one will lead to 1000's!

1 minute ago, Linda said:

@jillar no, but I am usually a person who has their shit together for goodness sakes I worked in the back of the ambulance for years an handled horrible crisis. My emotions are like out of control. And don't like it at all

 

Linda you'll get back to being that person, just give yourself time, I promise you

[Gus]

Just breathe Linda! I am sorry that you are having such a bad time. And it’s those horrible cigarettes that have you being unable to cope right now anyway. Don’t give in to their call. You are strong! You will get through everything that is going on. 

[Linda]

Thanks Gus it has been a day!!!

Thanks Jillar you are so kind

[jillar]

How are you doing @Linda? Feeling a little better now I hope?

[Linda]

Not much but I guess I have no choice

[jillar]

Actually you do have a choice and you're choosing to keep that awesome quit of yours! Be super proud of yourself for that

Hang in there and if it keeps being hard tonight then maybe just go to bed, tomorrow hopefully will be much better

[Linda]

I'm going to try to go to bed soon because I not to be able to hang on much longer

[jillar]

3 minutes ago, Linda said:

I'm going to try to go to bed soon because I not to be able to hang on much longer

 

Hey there were plenty of nights that I went to bed early my first year quit and the next day was almost always better, especially now that you're over four months quit

[Linda]

I know but it should be getting easier my willpower is getting thin

[Opah]

Eat something sweet, chocolate is great it will kick in some endorphins to help you.

[jillar]

8 minutes ago, Linda said:

I know but it should be getting easier my willpower is getting thin

 

Unfortunately Linda even though four months seems like a long time its really not in comparison to how long we smoked. Try to remember that and don't be so hard on yourself.

I'll never forget the day I woke up in the best mood I'd been in in months since I quit. I even sang in the shower that morning and later in the day is when it hit me that I hadn't thought of smoking the entire day! You'll get there too. All the successful quitters do

[Opah]

Honey tames the savage beasts

 

[d2e8b8]

Linda, you did great!  You just beat the demon and proved to yourself how strong you can be even when you're not feeling strong.  Your quit is precious and losing it won't help anyone.  I think you can be proud of yourself.

 

Please, its better to post here whatever you're going through or feeling than to give in.

[Katgirl]

Hi, Linda. Just keep hanging here and calling on us for help, when you need it. I realize I have stayed very close, since joining, and posted daily. It helps talking to people who have, or are now undergoing the same struggles. So, stay close. It’s what helps me not smoke.

Edited May 24, 2021 by Katgirl

[Doreensfree]

Sorry I'm late Linda ...wrong side of the pond ...

By coming here and screaming and shouted ,deep down your quit is important,and you do t want to lose it ..

You did right ...tomorrow will hopefully be entirely different ....our emotions at the early stage are all over the place ..

Your fighting ....and winning ...one day you will look back and be so thankful you did ...

Stay strong ...do anything ..just don't smoke ...

I was told ...It's ok to Wobble ...just don't fall Over ....great words ...

[Linda]

Thank you everyone you helped me last night!!! I really was on the edge of the cliff having with one hand. This am at least I am hanging on with 2.

[Doreensfree]

Well done ..Another battle Won ....

[Linda]

Thanks @Doreensfree

[Dianne]

Breath in ...breath out...thank goodness for good sleeps and waking to new days! We all know if we cave in it not going to help and we going to feel even worse....yet even knowing that....the struggle is very very real....so glad you got through again.

[Linda]

Thank you ❤