Thinking about life

[Opah]

Thank you Linda, Your response stopped me from going out with one of my guys.  and you helped me tell him if he gave me a smoke I would fire him.  so that takes that source away.

 Freaking trembling in side

[Linda]

2 minutes ago, Opah said:

Thank you Linda, Your response stopped me from going out with one of my guys.  and you helped me tell him if he gave me a smoke I would fire him.  so that takes that source away.

 Freaking trembling in side

@OpahYou are so welcome buddy!! You know I'm in Michigan and California is along

ways for me to travel to kick your butt lol   hang in there!!!

[Kris]

I get it, I still wish I could smoke but I just tell myself that I can't now that I really know it is affecting my health.  This 3rd month has been a beast.  Constant wanting, craving!!! But I know that it is okay, or normal, that we all think/feel it because of the change we are making. I just also know that I am not going to act on it.  If I have made it this far I can take it a day at a time.

 

K

[jillar]

You're doing so good @Kris, there's something about the three's. 3 days, 3 weeks, 3 months that are just yucky times in our quits but once past them we never ever have to do them again

[Kris]

I sure hope that is true cause I have been losing my MIND!

Thanks

K

[jillar]

It's true @Kris, most of us had to deal with a 3. Whether it was one of them or all three and we got past them

[Kris]

I am and will get thru it, just been a bitch this month, LOL

K

[Katgirl]

You will be all right. I’m at 4 months now, and it seems easier. My biggest trigger is that I’m binge watching “Call the Midwife”, and almost everybody smokes, including the Nurses. Having been a smoking Nurse, I really identify, and find myself wishing I could join them. It’s such a good show, though, that I put up with it, even if it sometimes makes me feel a little squirrelly.

[Kris]

I love it too! I am up to date on it, normally watch on PBS every season. I think almost everyone smoked in that era time period, they at least did not know what we know now.  Like they say,  live and learn, that's why we quit!

K

[Doreensfree]

6 hours ago, Kris said:

I am and will get thru it, just been a bitch this month, LOL

K

Everything your feeling is only Temporary.....if you stay Quit ....you ll never have to go through these feeling again..... Ever ....Keep going Kris ...

[Opah]

I just realized I get my three days off these week !

I am Back to My shift, my days off for the now and my guys ! 

 

Edited October 17, 2021 by Opah

[Opah]

Well life for my elderly mother is getting a little better today, final planning is done and the contractors are going to start the 22 X 65 foot concrete apron from my front door to the curb tomorrow.

 Soon she will be able to walk out to get the mail, set outside and listen to the radio, talk to the dog next door, She loves that dog, she signs and him will she says signs back to her.

Got my 3 days off and Remembered our anniversary.  I am taking my wife out for a nice dinner and walk on the beach, going to pack a blanket just incase we can get frisky.   Moon lit beaches have that effect on me.

 

[Gus]

Taking care of the ladies!  Enjoy your anniversary celebrations!

[jillar]

Enjoy opah, happy anniversary

[Linda]

Happy anniversary @Opah and enjoy your night on the beach!!

[Opah]

One week from today !  This was the reason I was able to let go of the $1500.00 for My BBAR and sight and ammo, Yes for me it is that big a deal.

Not sure how many years it has been 2 maybe 3, I am sure their are more than a couple here that know for sure.  That one year smoke free anniversary has eluded me,  yes it was me no excuses there, a jack ass in side that believe he had all the answers and control, that would not speak the word addiction or addict.  After all I am not sticking a needle in my arm now am I?  Years it has taken me to except that Nicotine had a grip on me even after 10 or 11 months of abstinence.  See the word abstinence triggers the thought process of NO SEX,  Not no Nicotine or no smoking.

Ugly words they are and my self image would not apply such Ugliness to my image of my self.

Well I have now, not to me now but to me the smoker, I can close mt eye invasion me smoking and what I see is ugly, no more romantic mountain man in the cloud covered mountains, Tranquil and soft puffing on a smoke.

I see a yellow smile, smelly, coughing some thing people avoided.

It took me finally being able to apply those ugly words to my self.

For me this is not seven steps,  it is a life long process constantly changing with my ability  to love and care for myself, to see the ugly and the handsome sides of me.  Be able to tell the truth and not lie to myself.

   

[Linda]

@OpahSo very well said!! Being truthful to ones self is so important.

 Sometimes painful but the end results is great!! I have been struggling with that

myself lately!!

Edited October 22, 2021 by Linda
Content

[Opah]

For some the admittance of weakness or vulnerability is a tough one.

I worked hard at what ever it was I was doing, I strived to be the best or at least better than most. not sure where I got that but it was ingrained in me and I was proud of it.

To be called addicted, addict or defective was totally against all that I believed in myself.   I am sure Jill or Doreen could tell you stories about me arguing with them about being cured and not being addicted any more.

Sure enough I would test  it and throw a 7, 6 month quit down the toilet.

 Now I believe I am strong enough to admit my weakness, and the fact that

my addiction to nicotine will never go away,  I will get to be manageable, but feed it and it will jump right back up and take control all over again.

So here I am, educated, self assured,  and ready to do the work necessary to Keep my quit,  and Damn it I will continue to succeed.  

[jillar]

@Opah, I'm thrilled for you! I've been watching you for 3 years here and another at qsmb. I really think that accepting that we're addicts is why you have finally gotten your forever quit

[Opah]

 

[Gus]

Wonderfully said, Opah. One of the worst moments of my life was recognizing and admitting that I was an addict. Me. Society labels us as smokers. How flattering. We are much worse than that. We are addicts. Nicotine junkies. 

[AceWhite]

Hi my name is Ace and i'm an addict

Not smoking will always be a choice I will be forced to make for the rest of my life, and i'll always be one puff away from being a smoker.

 

[Opah]

 

[Opah]

All righty now, brew up a big pot of nasty coffee, round up all the chairs and we'll have a good old fashioned 

[Doreensfree]

So here I am, educated, self assured,  and ready to do the work necessary to Keep my quit,  and Damn it I will continue to succeed.

 

Your light bulb moment Opah !!!!

I love to see that magic moment when it all clicks together ....

I still remember mine ....

I always thought I was a lady who enjoyed a treat after doing ...well anything really ...

Me ..a addict ...no way .....then reality landed ....I was a Nicotine Addict ...

Pure and Simple ...