Depression and quitting smoking.

[Robbie]

Thanks everyone and Craig, for your heartfelt post. I had tears in my eyes reading it. I am trying to be kind to myself and just let the feelings and cravings come and go as you suggested. I realise that a lot of what I am experiencing is due to the chemical addiction and it's not just nicotine but hundreds of chemicals that my body has to adjust to going without, and that's just the physical side! The mental cravings can linger on. Mostly I'm doing alright as if I think about having a cigarette, I also think about starting to cough and trying to get my breath again...horrible! I find this forum helpful for many reasons and reading through the posts in the mornings sets up my resolve not to smoke for the day. Have noticed that my sense of smell is returning, so I make a point of smelling something lovely every day. Thanks again everyone for your support, it's helping me a great deal!

[stzr500]

Hello again Robbie, 

 

                      Just had to check in, just a quick post. There were a few tools that I used to help myself that I didn't mention because I felt I rambled on enough but here are some. Go with your emotions as I stated and believe it or not try to welcome them. That is the first part in accepting change. I know they can seem a bit over whelming sometimes but just go with it. LOL I was afraid my anxiety would get so out of hand I would pass out....but then I figured good let me pass out at least that will keep me from feeling like this for a while. Well I never did pass out just a few panic attacks then came to terms with them. Also let your body do it's own thing, I read where you try and make yourself cough..that  will come in time trust me. Mainly when you give that true deep heart felt laugh and a surprise is coming up your airway...lol. Another thing ..research research and research try and get as much information as you can on why is my body acting like this, why am I feeling like this, the steps on how my lungs are healing, my heart is healing, my nervous system is healing. Remember no matter how bad it feels you ARE NOT GOING TO GO CRAZY..thats the battle going on inside. Keep the Quit you got this !!!

Edited April 16, 2021 by stzr500

[Reciprocity]

1 hour ago, Robbie said:

Have noticed that my sense of smell is returning, so I make a point of smelling something lovely every day.

This statement is important - very important!

Recognizing the benefits of quitting and focusing on them, rather than lamenting the fact you no longer smoke is what successful quitters do. Focus on your future possibilities, not you addictive past.

[Robbie]

Hi everyone, I'm battling so hard! Up to 21 days quit still, but I caught a nasty head cold three days ago and have been stuck at home on my own feeling bad. I certainly use activity as a means of staying away from smokes and it works very well I find, so I'm now on day four of just hanging around at home with not much energy or things to do and thinking more and more about having a cigarette. It is actually the last thing that I need as I have a congested nose and cough, but the long empty hours mean my thoughts turn that way more often. I struggled to the supermarket and was fearful that I wouldn't be able to stop myself from buying a pack, but I just took some extra nicotine spray and was ok. Oh and the other awful thing is that I have completely lost my sense of taste and smell! I was being rewarded for quitting by getting my sense of smell back and was so enjoying that and now it's gone. Certainly hoping that comes back soon as my enjoyment of flavours  has also been reduced. Generally just feeling very, very  miserable......

[Linda]

Hang in there, this to shall pass. 21 days is such an accomplishment!! You don't want to throw that away. Trust me I have been there and done that.you will feel worse if you do!!! Stick close and read post. Read some of my thoughts of the day.I try to make them positive and inspiring.

[jillar]

@Robbie, 21 days is fantastic! Sorry about your head cold, I had one a couple weeks ago and recovery as an ex smoker is so much easier and quicker than when I smoked. 

Hang in there and you'll see the awesome benefits too

[Gus]

Hello Robbie! I’m a newbie also! 6 weeks into my quit this Wednesday!  I only have one in me. I don’t think I would survive another hell week. I must and will prevail. I have suffered with depression and anxiety my whole life. Hell week brought me further down than I’d ever been in my life. I survived hell week! I only suffer depression sporadically now. It goes away as fast as the craving for a cigarette does. I still struggle with anxiety. Over quitting smoking and everything else that has always triggered it. Now I’m in a constant state of jitteriness ever since I quit smoking.  It just intensifies when I crave a cigarette. It’s horrible. I see that you are doing well with your quit by your last post. There are those on hear that seem to have had an easier time with their quit, but their are also those that have had it harder. I guess what I want to say to you is that YOU. CAN. DO. THIS. Please get on here and post to your hearts content. We will see you. We will hear you. We are here to be helped and to help. Wishing you the best and I am looking forward to following your quit.

[Steven Drojensky]

@RobbieHang in there. You can do this!

[Abby]

@Robbie love your avatar . 

 

Congrats on your quit . 

 

I read through some of your earlier posts and like other want to share with you that you are not alone . I cried rivers when I quit , for weeks . All the emotions just flowed through my system in the form of tears . I never knew one could produce so many in a day . A language of its own . Thank goodness I was able to stay in my home for the most part and not be around family or friends . My way of coping .  Everything triggered tears . I was grieving the loss .

 

To your right you will find a post on grieving from a very good source , I recommend reading it .

 

Quitting is a process very similar to grieving a loved one but we have to remember letting go of cigarettes is not a loss . It's  a gain in strength . 

 

Walking helps depression .  I walked in uncrowded places when tears weren't flowing or when they were . I watched funny movies, and my fav went to the zoo . Monkeys are so sweet charming and uplifting and always make me smile how so similar people are to monkeys , elephants so strong , and giraffes will stick there necks out to cheer you up .  Perhaps find an open air flower garden to tour when you are feeling better might be a great distraction from depression ,  but first get healthy.  With your symptoms please be careful .. know the covid symptoms  . I hope things are doing ok there in Australian, sure bad here . 

 

Personally I think a lot of our depression we stuffed in inhaling cigarettes and not dealing with things can make people even more depressed . Enter staying in bed to comfort ourselves ,  procrastination on things that need attention  , a sense of no purpose , lack of confidence , worthlessness ,  all reasons we at one time or other smoked a cigarette . Addiction  and depression thrive on doom and gloom . I understand some forms of depression are clinical , but some we do create ourselves as well . Those are the ones that can be changed by our actions . Change the negative into positive . 

 

Just some of my thoughts this morning . I don't know if anything helps . I admire your strength to persist through the hard stuff through your depression and tears and I promise you the good stuff continues every day you keep that quit . 

 

Ten years quit , I still am receiving positive things from the work it took to quit and from those tears.  

Btw most of my tears now are happy tears . 

 

Keep going k you are doing phenomenal , Great job . 

 

Take care of you . You are important , valued and loved . 

 

 

 

 

 

[Abby]

The grief cycle by @jillar  .. went to find the title . Don't know how to add the link . 

[jillar]

1 hour ago, Abby said:

The grief cycle by @jillar  .. went to find the title . Don't know how to add the link . 

 

That is a thread created by @Jenny that I chose for My Pick Of The Week blog. Here's the link to it and I'll also bump it

https://www.quittrain.com/topic/3953-the-grief-cycle/

 

[Doreensfree]

We have fed our bodies poisons for decades ....10,20,30,40 ect every day ....

When we quit of course our bodies go Hay Wire...it has to adjust ....

I smoked 52 years ...didn't even know how to be a adult with out a cigarette.....

It takes time for our  brains to get around this ....

It really does get better ....we can promise you this ....

The only way is ....Forward ....Keep Going .....

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Robbie]

Thanks everyone for your messages, it means a lot to me! Good to meet you Gus, and I'm so glad that you survived 'Hell Week', I've put myself through this a few times as I stopped smoking and then started again about four times this year...I decided I couldn't keep doing it to myself and found this forum. You are doing so well to be up to six weeks! Abbey, yes the tears are quite exhausting and one friend suggested to me yesterday that I'm clinically depressed which I'm sure that I am, but I just have to stay with it and hope that it lifts as I continue staying off the cigarettes. Luckily here in Australia we are doing well with the pandemic, very few cases and they are mostly in quarantine so are contained, we don't even have to wear masks at present which is a relief...but of course this could all change at anytime. I'm absolutely sure that I don't have Covid, because with the way my lungs are, I'd probably be dead by now if I had it. I was a little scared about the loss of taste and smell as apparently this is a symptom of Covid, but it's definitely a really heavy head cold which can cause the loss as well (thank you Dr. Google!) Fortunately it's starting to improve now, I can breathe through my nose again, but alas no smell. Your post is a great help, thanks so much Abbey.

Thanks Jillar for the link to the grief article, I'm sure that's happening too as cigarettes seemed to feel like a 'comfort' but I know it was not real and they were simply killing me. Good to be writing that in the past tense. Not quite sure which stage of the grief cycle I'm in, I seem to be stuck in depression unfortunately.

One thing I noticed recently is that large 'chunks' of the day disappear before I think "Oh, I haven't had a cigarette, isn't that good!" and next thing I know I can add another day to the quit list. Even though I've had to stay home a lot from being unwell and have been quite lost, the thought of smoking hasn't dominated my whole day. I'm hoping this will improve as time goes by. Anyway, a heartfelt thank you to everyone for your comments and posts here, it's wonderful to feel supported on this tough journey out of the smoky haze I've been living in!  

[stzr500]

Well Hello again Robbie, all I can say is these struggles and up's and downs last. I am going to be straight forward with you on this, I have suffered with anxiety almost my entire life. At the age of 5 I had a step father that imprinted the flight or fight trigger in me. By 5 1/2 I was out of the situation. Just a bit of back round, we will leave it at that. Anyway as a teenager I started smoking, hell cool thing to do. Anyway 25 years old I was blind sided by anxiety, panic attacks and the feeling of derealization. Kinda like when you get so stone on pot reality just doesn't seem real. Anyway that lead to the panic attacks, just a vicious cycle. Took 6 months and I was better, still have it creeping around the corner yet but much more manageable after quitting smoking, and I smoked for 30 years. I don't take medicine because I can function and I exercise and besides there is always a root to the problem, it's just trying to find it that can be difficult sometimes. I'm not a fan of chronic but sometimes it is what it is and learn to manage it. That is why I stressed so much about each quit is unique, never compare because nobody but you have lived your life the way you lived it or your thought process. I have come to realize I can be my own worse enemy at times, as we all can be. Depression will lift anxiety will lift will it ever go away, I don't think so because those are emotions we are born with, it's what brings them out and how we learn to cope and deal with those emotions. That is why I stated also on research, research and research. The human mind is the most amazing thing as well as the human body, it's when we poison it with all these chemicals in tobacco, drugs and alcohol that we now have opened new door ways. You basically have to reteach your brain how to handle things without a smoke. Whether it be for pleasure or for stress or being pissed off, those are the three big triggers for me. I will admit it's hard not to over think things but sometimes you have to dig real deep to figure yourself out at times, if that makes any sense. I still have issues I deal with but you learn new coping skills over time, that's what is amazing about the human brain. I have come to value my body, mind and soul like I never have before. What an inner peace you will develop, it is truly amazing. You got this !!!

Edited April 28, 2021 by stzr500

[Cbdave]

10 hours ago, Doreensfree said:

We have fed our bodies poisons for decades ....10,20,30,40 ect every day ....

When we quit of course our bodies go Hay Wire...it has to adjust ....

I smoked 52 years ...didn't even know how to be a adult with out a cigarette.....

It takes time for our  brains to get around this ....

It really does get better ....we can promise you this ....

The only way is ....Forward ....Keep Going .....

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ha....... I resemble those remarks

Edited April 28, 2021 by Cbdave

[Boo]

17 hours ago, Robbie said:

One thing I noticed recently is that large 'chunks' of the day disappear before I think "Oh, I haven't had a cigarette, isn't that good!" and next thing I know I can add another day to the quit list. 

 

Quitting smoking is largely a matter of time, patience, and repetition.

 

The rough seas of the early days eventually give way to smooth sailing.

 

Good job Robbie.  Congratulations.

[Angeleek]

Welcome, Robbie! Congratulations on quitting and sticking through the toughest first days! You can totally do this! Nicotine addiction is so depressing! Unfortunately, we don't realize this cuz nicotine robs us of our happy, inserts itself in place of that in our brain, and makes us think we need nicotine to be happy. Whatever depression you may have is only made worse by nicotine.

 

Once you've been off the nicotine for a good while, several months, you'll start to see that, and you will probably feel better. Just stay the course, and it will get easier, then harder again but then even easier, and so on. But the reward of not HAVING to smoke, outside in the rain, or on a plane, will be so worth it, I promise!

 

You will also be amazed at how less stressed out you are once you have truly kicked the nicotine addiction. Prepare to be blown away by that.

 

I say all this about 1 year and 3 months off nicotine. You will be so glad once you stay the course beyond 3 months and onward. Just don't get tripped up by thinking you can reward yourself with a cigarette -- any other reward will do you just fine

 

This is no easy change, but it's the best thing you can do for yourself. There is no timeline, either. Some people feel better after 3 days. Me - I needed 9 months. But you will feel better eventually. Just stay the course.  Please stay in touch with your doctor regarding your depression if you are in treatment for it. Once you have the nicotine licked, maybe that will have a positive impact on the depression therapy. I wish you the best of luck in this new, exciting chapter. Welcome aboard the Train! Next stop-Freedom!

[Robbie]

Hi everyone, I was really struggling with depression last night, very low mood and lots of tears...but I had a good sleep and made it through to a new day. I was having thoughts about smoking quite a bit as there is no doubt that it gives an artificial (and deadly) lift to the brain, that rush of dopamine which I have no substitute for. I don't even drink coffee or drink alcohol, so no relief there! I pushed myself out for a quick walk in the dark and that seemed to help a little. I am on day 31 and hoping that my brain chemistry will slowly adapt to not needing that rush, as it's supposed to, but I guess that could take some months. Meanwhile, it's tough at times while dealing with depression as well, but I'm sticking with my quit as best I can. My sense of smell and taste is slowly returning again (I missed them!), so that is something positive!

[jillar]

Sorry you had a rough night last night @Robbie, and yes it will get better, it just takes time. You're doing great so try to reward yourself with something just for you. And if your depression gets too hard to handle please call your Dr and let them know. A lot of times even just a temporary med until your body readjusted itself helps

[d2e8b8]

Robbie, it's great that you're sharing your experience here.  I've found that those who do tend to have a higher chance of success.  3 weeks is a tricky time when you start to feel just a little bit comfortable that you may have this under control and let your guard down and that's when nicotine senses the opportunity and tries all sorts of ambush tricks.  Guard your quit like it's the most precious thing which it is.

 

Stay strong.  Every time you have a craving and don't smoke, you get stronger and the cravings get a little weaker.  You're doing so well.

[Steven Drojensky]

@Robbie31 days is HUGE! Keep going and you will see and feel the benefits.

Edited May 7, 2021 by Steven Drojensky

[Doreensfree]

Yes yes ....Do something nice for you ....

What your achieving is what every smoker deep down would love to achieve ...

Feel very proud ...

In my early Quit I found Qi Gong ...a Chinese relaxing routine ...

It helped me heaps to calm down and breath ...try it ..it's very gentle ... you'll find it on You Tube ....

Try it every morning ...you can do a routine in 10 minutes.

Hope it helps ...

 

[Gus]

@Robbie It has only been a short time since I went through this.  I didn’t think I would survive. Then I let myself get angry! At me, at cigarettes. Let the tears flow. They are cleansing! I also have struggled with anxiety and depression my whole life. You can do this and in just a short while you will be feeling so much better! Physically, mentally, and emotionally! 

[stzr500]

Hi Robbie, 

           I am still checking on your posts, they pop up in my email and your situation is going so much like mine was it really has my attention. 31 Days is a great achievement ... reward yourself in some way without nicotine. My only advice I can really give at this point is you are in the middle of the soup right now where many of us have been. You are to far in to give up but yet not far along enough to be stable. Thats okay I called it "Being on the brink of hell". Remember these times because these are times you don't want to ever go through again, as frustrating as it may seem it's also a blessing for you to learn from. I remember my mom once telling me, Craig not all blessings are good at the moment it's the out come that matters. Take each moment by each moment and minute by minute, don't sit and worry about the future or when this will pass. Give yourself time, there is no race and yes You Will Get Better ! Just take care of yourself and be kind to yourself, you are accomplishing one of the hardest addictions known to mankind. You Got This !!!

 

 

Edited May 7, 2021 by stzr500

[Robbie]

Thanks for your support folks, the people I personally know who have quit smoking don't seem to have had such a mental battle like I have or maybe they just didn't talk about it. I was talking with someone yesterday and he told me that I was "obsessed with nicotine!".  Well, yes I'm sure I am as it's been a daily part of my life for more than forty years now...always making sure that I didn't run out or had enough for the day etc. etc. In more recent years I was smoking 'rubbish' cigarettes because of the outrageous prices here in Australia or switching brands to try to keep the cost down. I sure don't miss any of that! I like the comment from you stzr500 that I'm 'in the middle of the soup' right now, as that is how I feel, not very stable at all. I have to stay on guard as one slip could undo all my hard work. I also find that my friends are really bored with my attempts to stop smoking, so this forum is vital to me now more than ever. Thanks so much everyone!