Sudden Uprising of Emotions

[Fluffyyellowduck]

I am doing alright for the third day (I've been up since 6:30 AM doing chores) except that I was cleaning the bathroom until my brain immediately switched from "Let's clean the sink" to "Remember these old ancient feelings we haven't paid attention to in a really long time and were over? well they're  all back now" and then I'd get like a glimpse or a flash or something and I'd have that old feeling connected to that event. 

And then there's other times that I've noticed from previous withdrawals (though not for extended periods of time) where I'd be working on something quietly to myself and then all of a sudden I start remembering horrible things said to me as far back as 15 years ago and becoming furious and angry while thinking of 1,000 responses that I should have said or how much I'd like to tell that person off. Most of the time I apologized for me being wrong for no reason when I was in the right most of the time or my apology was unneccessary but out of courtesy or wanting to make amends,  and then I had to accept their "It's ok" even though no, you know what, no it's not ok, you were actually in the wrong and you didn't apologize at all. 

 

then i'm like FINE that's great I apologized again for no reason and you still think you're off scott free 

im still angry

So how do you manage the anger thing?

 

Edited December 29, 2020 by Fluffyyellowduck

[jillar]

Get yourself a pillow like @Doreensfree did and punch it pretending its them! All these emotions are normal and as you get farther into your quit you'll see your self esteem go up as well. Once you know your own self worth you won't allow people like that to bring you down. 

[Mee]

Fluffyduck, you spoke before about having anxiety.  I think that people with anxiety tend to be overthinkeres  (I am one).  We continually get stuck on the "what if" of situations and replay them over and over in our minds.  Unfortunately, that only keeps us in the unsettling moment and leads to constant tension.  As you travel your journey, you will become stronger and gain confidence in your decisions.  Once I had the power to quit, I found that power spilled over in all aspects of my life.

Just like changing your thoughts toward a crave, you can change your overthinking thoughts.  

Keep that wonderful quit going.  You are getting stronger!

[Doreensfree]

Fluffy....

Our brains can be are worst enemy's.....

We carnt control what suddenly pops up in our minds...it's what you do with those thoughts that matter .

Life throws us some curve balls ...we have to remember smoking would change any of that at all....

Even people who have never smoked have curve balls too....

When a negative thought pops up ....change it for a positive one .....keep practicing.....

 

 

 

 

 

[Fluffyyellowduck]

You know, I have had never had a punching pillow. I've had a few screaming-into pillows and more recently the-write-a-letter-and-flush-it-down-the-toilet pillows, but maybe I could use a good punching pillow.

 

I ended up just going back to bed and saying I'm not doing today and I think if I do that just for today it will be fine. I don't have anything big that has to be done today anyway. 
But come to think of it @Mee you're right and while I don't consider myself a really anxious person except during severely traumatic situations (which I was in last week) and during withdrawals, it did occur to me that I hadn't taken my progesterone cream this morning that might have something to do with it so I will need to do that. That stuff is amazing.

I will practice some positive thinking too.