Re-morning-ing - Relearning to be normal

[Fluffyyellowduck]

For those of you who quit, did you ever feel like the mornings were a little it more difficult because you had to relearn how to be nonsmoking? Like you had to put your brain together to figure out how to function properly? If smoking was part of your morning routine then you probably had to relearn how to be normal. My thought is "I don't exactly NEED a cigarette this morning to function, and if I did, it would probably make it much worse, because then I would just want to go to back to sleep or have a hard time taking care of this ridiculous mess that was left for me today." Since I don't "need" it I'm not going to. 

I've been exhausted to the point of nearly passing out every day so I am guessing smoking has had partly something to do with that. I'm sitting with a cup of black tea this morning (coffee gives me heart palpitations) and spacing out a LOT. I am about to make breakfast tostadas because breakfast seems like a perfectly normal thing to do. Nicotine and tea alone used to be breakfast for me. If we're not doing that, we might as well do tostadas. 

Then I start wondering if I had, for so long and partly due to depression, replaced taking care of myself with nicotine. Like all of basic human needs were replaced with a poisonous little smoking stick that makes a person dizzy and tired. What kind of bunk is that? That's very counterproductive. 
 

Now, I'm still not committed until after the holidays but I am "practicing" and see where it's going and so far the "practicing" is sort of leading the way, unless I make it to three days, then it won't be practicing. It just will be. I didn't even honestly plan on practicing either, but I partly blame Doreensfree and you others on here that gave me so much encouragement. You guys did this to me.

 

I have my quit cardigan that I'm crocheting on hand to sit down and take a break every once in a while, but I have to use a timer because sometimes my "15 minutes" turns into 3 hours, which is good for the cardigan, and good for me, but bad for the floors and the washing. 

I'm sorry. 
I needed to rant really badly. 
I am probably going to rant a lot today. 

Ya'll ever go through something similar?  

 

[jillar]

20 minutes ago, Fluffyyellowduck said:

Now, I'm still not committed until after the holidays but I am "practicing" and see where it's going and so far the "practicing" is sort of leading the way, unless I make it to three days, then it won't be practicing. It just will be. 

 

I don't know why you would do this to yourself. In my opinion you're putting yourself through constant withdrawals for nothing since it's only "practice". 

 

[Fluffyyellowduck]

5 minutes ago, jillar said:

 

I don't know why you would do this to yourself. In my opinion you're putting yourself through constant withdrawals for nothing since it's only "practice". 

 

In all honesty, because I think if I downright say I'm going to and force myself to stick through it, I'll have a lot of anxiety about it, and then I'll have a greater chance of relapsing. If I call it practicing and just do what I need to do and don't put so much pressure on myself then I am less likely to screw it up. 

I have a tendency to be a perfectionist in some regard to the extent that I drive myself crazy. So the less pressure I put on myself the more likely I am to succeed. 

[jillar]

Well there's no one size fits all when it comes to quitting so I hope that works for you. I was an all or nothing person myself. And I kept my quit to myself for the first day or two then told my husband but didn't tell anyone else for almost three weeks just to make sure I could stick it out.

[Fluffyyellowduck]

26 minutes ago, jillar said:

Well there's no one size fits all when it comes to quitting so I hope that works for you. I was an all or nothing person myself. And I kept my quit to myself for the first day or two then told my husband but didn't tell anyone else for almost three weeks just to make sure I could stick it out.

I think those are actually really similar.. You probably didn't want anyone on the outside to know to avoid outward interference and mine is more internal.

[Doreensfree]

Hey Fluffy....

I didn't even know how to be a adult without smoking ..started at 11 yrs old quit at 62 ...

I had to learn everything different .....

I completely had to change my breakfast routine ....it soon becomes the Norm ....

I had to completely change my days....

i had mixed feelings ...as I was trying to hang on to my two feet from being amputated ....due to smoking ,I had a very good reason to give it my best shot ....

 

if I've made you second guess whether you should quit ....I've done my job ..

[jillar]

13 minutes ago, Fluffyyellowduck said:

I think those are actually really similar.. You probably didn't want anyone on the outside to know to avoid outward interference and mine is more internal.

 

Not really. I wasn't practicing and I wasn't worried about outside interference. I didn't tell anyone in case I failed. Unbeknownst to me my husband was telling people as they kept coming over and congratulating me on quitting.

Its amazing really how happy the people in your life get by you quitting and I didn't realize just how much smoking affected the people closest to me until I quit....

[Fluffyyellowduck]

Ah, I'm sorry.. I can understand that. How sweet of your husband though. You must feel so fortunate.

Not to be a person with a lot of "drama" (I've had bad experiences talking to people about things so just getting that out there because now I try to not) but basically I've gone through severe psychological abuse and after so many years, eventually you start to believe it. So I think keeping a healthy emotional distance between things and trying to not argue with myself about it, but just kind of go along for the ride without that internal dialogue of inevitable defeat - it just sort of makes the ship easier to sail.  (And I'm not so tempted to throw myself overboard to avoid it.)

[jillar]

The beautiful thing most of us realize after quitting is the renewed self worth we get BY quitting....

[Doreensfree]

I agree with Jill....quitting gives you a inner strength ,you didn't know you had ...

That's one thing we all feel the same on the Train ....

Quitting helps in every aspect of your life ....you have to trust us Fluffy .....

You can have it too Sweetheart....

 

 

[MLMR]

Show us your crochet cardigan! Big fan of crocheting here. Look what I made during quitting, (some would argue about the lungs though..) 

[Fluffyyellowduck]

Okay, MLMR. That is brilliant. I love it! 

Now I have only started last night so I've only got a couple pieces of the backpiece finished, but it is from this pattern. I've had to reduce all the stitches of the pattern to 64% because I used a size 4. (I'm on a budget so what had to work had to work...)  Excuse the bad quality of the photo. I gave up my smartphone a while ago and switched to a flip phone (intentionally), so I'm using my webcam. 

 

 

 

 

[Doreensfree]

That's brilliant ....I,m a knitter ..

That pattern is great....would love to see it finished !!!

[Fluffyyellowduck]

2 minutes ago, Doreensfree said:

That's brilliant ....I,m a knitter ..

That pattern is great....would love to see it finished !!!

I love knitted projects! I plan to learn that next. I love crochet but I want a different texture for some things. I will post a (better quality) finished photo of it when I am finished.