Feeling unstable and craving a smoke

[Kate18]

Some news that my daughter is planning to move out of state, advice from my son to not embark on a new work venture that could help secure my future, and now I'm feeling lost at sea.  I paced for a while and have been craving a cigarette. Took the dog for a walk in the park, but it didn't help. I just ruminated on what this news means for my future.

It doesn't help that I had a beer to calm myself down because I think that it has also lowered my impulse control. I'm reclusive and don't have a friend to turn to for recentering and talking things out. 

If any of you has a moment, I'd welcome company. I keep seeing the store where I used to buy cigarettes in my mind. I don't want to smoke again, but I am feeling a sense of futility and as though I'm in a vacuum, as though it doesn't matter if I smoke or not. My emotional sense is stronger than my rational sense right now, so I'm struggling.

[Reciprocity]

I don't know about your personal issues but I'm sure your son is just being protective in his advice to you. OK, so you're feeling lost and alone right now - you KNOW smoking won't help!! It never does. Only makes things worst so screw you rational brain back into your head and stop allowing smokie dreams seduce you. There's NO future in smoking and deep down, you really know that!

 

If it makes you feel any better, my life is in the toilet right now. I just happened to have a moment tonight so thought I'd check in here. I actually had some thoughts about smoking today but they were just old ghost memories - not real. I don't want to kill myself by smoking. What good would that do

[jillar]

Hey Kate sorry you're struggling but you know smoking won't change any of what's going on and will just make you feel awful for giving up that over 7 month quit!

Has the crave calmed down yet? I'm here and can lend you an ear

[jillar]

I agree with reci about your son looking out for you. And think of your daughter moving as a new vacation destination.

[johnny5]

34 minutes ago, Kate18 said:

I keep seeing the store where I used to buy cigarettes in my mind. I don't want to smoke again, but I am feeling a sense of futility and as though I'm in a vacuum, as though it doesn't matter if I smoke or not. My emotional sense is stronger than my rational sense right now, so I'm struggling.

 

I had a few quit attempts before I quit for good.  Those relapses from those attempts often started with thoughts of going to a particular convenience store to buy smokes and light up. 

 

I did cave in on several occasions prior to quitting for good and I HATED what I did by buying cigarettes and lighting up.  Going out to get one of those relapse cigarettes may have seemed to me like it wouldn't have mattered or not but believe me, I HATED it when I lit up that cigarette and smoked.  And, I was hooked again to keep smoking until I dared trying to quit again.

 

Keep the quit.  It may seem tempting but lighting up a cigarette again will only make things a whole lot worse.

[Kate18]

Thanks for dropping in. And you're right. It would make things worse. 

I'm mellowing out. A second beer helped, and now I'm taking the dog out to the park again to get some perspective.

Thanks, Johnny5

[Linda]

Kate how are you doing? You don't want to lose your quit. I know I wasn't as far as you are and I did. Just like the others said it won't help to smoke and it will only make you feel worse. Now I am struggling to get my quit back. Don't go there please!!!!!

[c9jane29]

Hey Kate... sounds like a good night to start your plank challenge  

Sorry your having a bad night...I always had the thought that even non-smokers have bad days too...we have to learn to get thru the suck without the crutch. 

These moments are how the good quits are made, they are forged in the fires of our lives... they're made stronger with every battle we win.

You are a powerful woman who just happens to be having a hard time...we all do, but we see the warrior in you; don't let a moment of weakness take that power from you

Edited October 9, 2020 by c9jane29

[Angeleek]

Smoking will only make you feel down on yourself, Kate, for not staying true to your higher purpose.  And it won't help anyway, because once the cigarette is out the worries will loom ever larger in your mind.  Do those walks with Doggie instead. Remember the happy bits of life, and inhale fresh air. Hope you are feeling better. Good for you for checking in!

[Mee]

Hey Kate,  don't every feel that you are alone.  We are your friends.  Know that the idea of smoking is just a thought.  Put that thought out of your mind.  You have come so far and don't want to go back there.  Smoking does not change the struggle, it just makes the struggle worse.  I am sure you will come to the right conclustions.  Hang in there.

[Mac#23]

Hey Kate,

 Don't give up that beautiful quit. You are a non smoker now. Stay strong because you are stronger than the addiction. Don't give in to that junkie mentality. We believe in you and now reaffirm that you believe in yourself.

[Doreensfree]

Zone times stink !!!!

Hey Kate...You have a wonderful quit going on ...don't let a fleeting thought throw it away ...

Your Son is only watching your back ...I'm sure ....

Look at things positively...not negative ....your daughter and yourself will still have great times...

Mine moved to Australia...and we still have great time ,great chats ,great visits ...

I'm sure she wouldn't want you to throw your Quit away ...❤

[Kate18]

Thank you, everyone. I deeply appreciate your posts. 

All is well again and one more challenge met and overcome. 

On 10/9/2020 at 1:13 AM, Doreensfree said:

Zone times stink !!!!

Hey Kate...You have a wonderful quit going on ...don't let a fleeting thought throw it away ...

Your Son is only watching your back ...I'm sure ....

Look at things positively...not negative ....your daughter and yourself will still have great times...

Mine moved to Australia...and we still have great time ,great chats ,great visits ...

I'm sure she wouldn't want you to throw your Quit away ...❤

Australia!

Do you ever go and visit? I loved Australia. Lived there for three months and worked as a dietitian's assistant at a government hospital. Wonderful people, beautiful country.

And thank you for your post, Doreen; I really appreciate it.

[Doreensfree]

7 hours ago, Kate18 said:

Thank you, everyone. I deeply appreciate your posts. 

All is well again and one more challenge met and overcome. 

Australia!

Do you ever go and visit? I loved Australia. Lived there for three months and worked as a dietitian's assistant at a government hospital. Wonderful people, beautiful country.

And thank you for your post, Doreen; I really appreciate it.

Nicky has been there for 25 years now Kate ....

I have been there 5 times over this time ...but have been fortunate she has visited us every year mostly ,because her Dad was so ill...

The last time.. Xmas last year ,I was lucky enough to visit ...and met up with Jo here ...

The booby bird....

We spent a fabulous day together ...it was great fun ....it's a wonderful place ....

Just think it's holidays for you ....