Worried about night craves

[Layla]

Hi, not really an SOS, but I am on day 3 and I have been doing well and am enjoying breathing better and not feeling like I am harming myself by choking down nasty smoke.  My serious problems come at night around 9pm where I have a feeling I can only describe as fiending for 3 cigs.  I started smoking 3 cigs basically in a row  before bed when I was suffering with nightmares and insomnia from Complex PTSD.  I am now on medication for that problem which only recently got straightened out to the correct med, and it is really helping me enormously with sleep, but nonetheless I still crave those 3 cigs so strongly.  I am doing things like getting ready for bed early, watching Orange is the New Black to distract myself until I am very tired, but I am just afraid I am going to cave, because every night around 9 pm, the nicotine demon comes for a visit and won't leave and feels like it is ordering me to smoke.  The rest of the day I do struggle with craves but can manage them, and am feeling stronger each day, but the night is so rough.  Just figured I'd post because I am scared I am going to cave at night

[jillar]

Trust in yourself that you're not going to cave Layla because in the end its your choice whether you give in to that spoiled brat having a tantrum! I used my JAC (jillars air cigarette) for the really bad cravings. I just pretended I was holding an actual cigarette in my fingers and then went through the motions of "smoking"it. Some people use cut straws, pens, even licorice whips. But boy did it work for me at tricking my brain into thinking it was getting the real thing. Maybe give that a try at night?

[johnny5]

32 minutes ago, Layla said:

 but I am just afraid I am going to cave, because every night around 9 pm, the nicotine demon comes for a visit and won't leave and feels like it is ordering me to smoke. 

 

Layla, it is often said that "a crave is never a command."  I hope the link below is useful to you as Cristobal does a great job discussing craves early in a quit.

 

 

[Mona]

Layla, there is no need to be fearful.  Nobody can make you smoke except you.  You are in charge, not your addiction.  You will experience triggers throughout the quit process.  Some will be stronger than others.  Your difficult ones are at night.  Mine were first thing in the morning and while driving, expecially on long trips.  It takes time for your brain to disassociate actions/

events and smoking.  Each time you face a trigger and don't smoke, the trigger gets a little weaker.  Try to relax and prevent your mind from building things up too much.  Before you know it, you'll be dreaming sweet dreams without even thinking about smoking beforehand.

[Reciprocity]

First of all those night craves will get less intense every night you make it past them so .... it only gets better, not worse but you do need to give it time. The progression is very slow unfortunately.

 

Hopefully there are no smokes within easy access at home (that's a recipe for relapse if there are). If there are, get rid of them, right now!

Be sure you're changed into your night clothes early on in the evening. If you have to get dressed & drive somewhere to gets smokes, you have much more time to think rationally about what is going on and therefore talk yourself down off the ledge. When these thoughts/fears start invading your mind, get on the board here and post or, play some games to take your mind of things for awhile. Have you explored the games page? There's bound to be something there of interest to you and you'll be interacting with others at the same time (we don't bite so ... it's safe ). What you're looking for here are temporary strategies to help you past these early more intense days - they don't last all that long in the grand scheme of things but it's hard to see that from the place you are at right now.

[Layla]

Thanks so much you guys!  It feels great to talk to people who understand.  I am going to try and do as you all recommended and not build it up so bad in my mind and assume that it will be some insurmountable crave and realize I have the control no matter how much it seems like the nicodemon does...I know deep down he doesn't...it's just hard, I remember when I first was thinking about quitting smoking it was like the nicodemon appeared before me in his full glory, laughing and saying "Good luck getting through the night....you will never do it".  Ahhhh, addiction:(  Johnny, thank you for the link about "a crave is never a command"....it is very helpful, because that is exactly how it feels...I will be rereading the link again tonight.  Jillar, thank you for the tip about the air cigarettes...I think that might really help, and I will try it.  Thanks so much for all the encouragement.  I'm gonna really try to not build it up into a big thing, because that is surely making it worse.  Just cleaned my bathroom and succeeded in fighting off the craving that I should 'reward" myself for doing a task I hate by smoking a cigarette lol.  To be honest, I have 5 cigarettes leftover in the pack I had when I quit and haven't been able to throw them out even though I should.  I start to panic when I think about it, because of the night thing.  I will post here tonight if I start feeling weak.

[c9jane29]

Layla, first I want to say good for you to take care of yourself the way you do. Mental health is very important; reaching out is the best first step.

Is 3 your magic number? You could try to make a new ritual...like with frozen peaches or marichino cherries. Line them up on a pretty plate so you can see them, and if you are sensory seeking, you could make a noise before you eat each one (clap, snap, clink your fork) to mimick the sound of the lighter. I hate to suggest food, but it gives ex-smokers that serotonin dump, blood sugar boost and hand to mouth feel that we're "missing" in our early quit. I would go with a chocolate but since it's bedtime...

[Layla]

Thank you Jane...that is a really good idea to try to replace the ritual with a much healthier ritual.  I've been eating cut up fruit and trying to relax.  I can just feel the crave demon coming, honestly, already thinking about maybe I'll wait 20 minutes and then have one cig..  So hard   I'm afraid to throw away the 5 cigs I have cause I feel like I'll have a  panic attack, and I also have run out to the store at any hour of the night to get cigs if I run out of them at night, so fear I would do that as well if I toss them.  Really really wish I will make it through tonight.

[jillar]

Layla having any cigarettes around is a recipe for disaster. I had to empty all my ashtrays out and put them away or I would smoke the butts in them when a gnarly crave hit

You CAN do this, we're all proof. And every time you beat a crave it makes it easier the next time

[Layla]

Thank you Jillar...I’m gonna throw them out right...I just got done crying for no reason...maybe having the 5 cigs around is just causing me more stress...I dunno. So wobbly right now

[jillar]

Yes Layla! Throw them away, drown them in water and show your addiction that you're getting your life back!

Also, crying is part of the recovery so you're not going crazy, it's normal. Some get irritated way easier and some emotional. I got irritated at everything lol. 

[Layla]

Thank you Jillar...I just broke them into little pieces and threw them out.  I guess I won’t be able to cave now lol.  I’m glad I’m not going crazy and that it is normal to feel emotional.  At least the cigs aren’t around to torment me now.  Been doing so well in the day, just feel so wobbly at night.  Thanks so much for your support.

[Mac#23]

Hey Layla, I believe this whole 3 cigs a night before bed became a repetitious reaction mechanism to overcome a feeling of anxiety from your PTSD. Now that you have that under control why don't you work on on new nighttime ritual to help you celebrate your new non smoking lifestyle. Something healthy and celebratory to make you feel good about getting through another successful day without smoking. Remember that you are the one in control of your life and not that junkie thinking. I have absolute faith in you to accomplish anything you set your mind to.

[Layla]

Mac, Thank you for your post...You are right...the 3 cigs thing was like a ritual to ward off the anxiety associated with PTSD sleep problems, and I don’t need them anymore.  It is a wonderful idea to replace something associated with such negative feelings and anxiety with something celebratory now that I have conquered my sleep/nightmare problems.  Thank you much for suggesting that...it helps me feel positive

[jillar]

And look at all that money saved and cigs avoided in just two days Layla, that's fantastic

[Doreensfree]

I'm late ...wrong side of the Pond ....but I see you were in great company sitting on the Train ...

It takes a while to rewire our brains ...my sleep pattern was non existent,when I first quit ,I spent all night on the board reading and learning ...it soon settled down ...

A Wise traveller on the Train once said to me .......

It's ok to wobble ....just make sure you don't fall over ....

Change your routine before bed ....it's amazing how fast we adjust ....

Great job for throwing out the cigs ....why have them lying around ...your a fabulous Non Smoker ....

 

[Layla]

Jillar, Thanks   I love watching the money saved & cigs avoided add up...a pack of cigs is so expensive in Massachusetts...it’s such a waste of money!

Doreensfree, Thanks so much for your support!  I am really happy I threw them out...I hope that feeling sticks...I love that advice “it’s OK to wobble, just make sure you don’t fall over”.  I will repeat that to myself when the night comes!

[Mee]

Layla, I would definitely change up that nighttime routine.  The key is redirecting the brain.  Replace those 3 cigarettes with something more relaxing or enjoyable.  Maybe a cup of hot chocolate with 3 marshmellows or a hot bath with 3 capfuls of bubblebath.  Switch out the bad with the good.  The first month is the toughest.  If you can't sleep, there are others, on the train, in different time zones.  This site was my lifeline.  It helped me relax and have fun.  Start yourself a blog.  When you can't sleep, write about you feelings.  I promise you will get stronger each day.  You can do this!

[Layla]

Mee, I absolutely love all of your ideas, especially the hot chocolate with 3 marshmallows!   Thank you for the positivity!  I love the idea of blogging as well!

[Steven Drojensky]

You can do this, Layla!

[Layla]

Thank you Steven!

[Layla]

I'm happy to say I got through the night without too much suffering.  Throwing away the remaining cigs I had actually helped, because they weren't there to torment me and I knew smoking was not an option.  I changed my mindset and just told myself that smoking was not an option, and the craves were not as strong.  Thank God!  Hoping for continued strength today and tonight especially.  Thanks so much for all the support--it was more helpful than you know.

[jillar]

That's great news Layla, I'm happy for you  

[Layla]

Thank you, Jillar!

[Reciprocity]

2 hours ago, Layla said:

I'm happy to say I got through the night without too much suffering.  Throwing away the remaining cigs I had actually helped, because they weren't there to torment me and I knew smoking was not an option.  I changed my mindset and just told myself that smoking was not an option, and the craves were not as strong.  Thank God!  Hoping for continued strength today and tonight especially.  Thanks so much for all the support--it was more helpful than you know.