The beast is on me today

[idontsmoke]

I'm dealing with some pretty major depression, looking for a job and being cooped up alone while recovering from surgery and having pain....none of which will be helped by vaping despite what my brain is telling me. I'm over two months into this quit. It would be CRIMINAL to give in now, not to mention expensive as I'd have to buy a new unit and juice. Yet, its on my mind. It sounds really good. Help.

[jillar]

1 minute ago, idontsmoke said:

It would be CRIMINAL to give in now

 

Yes Michelle, it would be! But you got this! Trust in yourself that you will get through it just like all the other times. And be very proud of yourself for knowing when to reach out for some extra support to keep your awesome quit  

[idontsmoke]

thank you....i feel embarrassed and was expecting someone to say WTF is wrong with you, pull up your big girl pants. TY for not doing that

[idontsmoke]

Part of this might be excitement too. I have three interviews this week and just had a second interview with one of the companies and have a second interview with one of the other companies in half an hour. Trying to see it for what it is and leave it alone

[jillar]

Do something you have always done vape and cig free. Take a long bath or shower. I never smoked in my car after buying my first new one in 2007 so when I quit I would jump in the car and take a short drive and I would INSTANTLY forget about smoking. Of course if you smoked in your car that wouldn't work for you but you get my drift  

[jillar]

1 hour ago, idontsmoke said:

.i feel embarrassed

 

PLEASE don't ever feel embarrassed for asking for help, ANYONE, that's why we're here everyday. We know how tough the first year can be and I asked for support plenty of times and got it. We get it Michelle, you're doing great btw  

[idontsmoke]

gotcha. I'm in between cars right now and I did vape in my last one....I have my next job interview at 2:30 and I have a rental car for the day so I'm going to run errands and stay away from the vape shop!

[jillar]

Well the interviews sound exciting, good luck! And yes, STAY AWAY from the vape shops!!! And if you feel yourself start to wobble just go straight home or come on here but keep your quit at all costs Michelle. xoxo

[idontsmoke]

Thank you so much for the support Jillar. Its calming down a bit. I have cravings all the time but its always just the urge, not really the desire. Its been bad today....like I can feel and taste it and have had the desire to actually go buy one. But....

 

I can catch a deep breath

I don't have to sit outside on the cement steps in the morning to get my fix in the morning

I don't have to run downstairs every couple hours

I can run my errands and be out in public without worrying if I'm bothering others with my vape, trying to find places to vape politely etc

I don't have to budget for supplies

I can take healthy measures for myself without thinking "whats the point if I use nicotine"

I don't feel like a social outcast

My blood pressure came down!

Each and every week I'm gaining a health benefit

Someday I'll have the same risk of lung cancer and heart disease as someone who's never smoked (Last I heard it was at ten years)

If I start again I know in my heart of hearts I'd never stop again. I don't think I have another quit in me

 

Whew. Yeah feeling better. Thank you again.

[jillar]

No need to thank me Michelle. Like I said, I'm just paying it forward  And look at your ticker, $665.00 saved already! That made being between jobs a whole lot easier I bet  

[Sazerac]

21 minutes ago, idontsmoke said:

I'm dealing with some pretty major depression, looking for a job and being cooped up alone while recovering from surgery and having pain....

 

Well, sugar, look on the bright side !

 

You could be depressed,

unemployed,

in pain,

mending from surgery, 

cooped up all alone

 

AND

 

keeping yourself in bondage. 

Willfully keeping yourself in bondage to nicotine.

 

 

[Linda]

Hang in there Michelle. Keep reaching out here for the great people that are here to help!!!

[Up In Smoke]

3 hours ago, idontsmoke said:

I'm dealing with some pretty major depression, looking for a job and being cooped up alone while recovering from surgery and having pain....none of which will be helped by vaping despite what my brain is telling me. I'm over two months into this quit. It would be CRIMINAL to give in now, not to mention expensive as I'd have to buy a new unit and juice. Yet, its on my mind. It sounds really good. Help.

 

Hang in there....I chew railroad spikes....LoL

[Sazerac]

I seem to remember you are on a chantix quit.  If this is so, please be aware that depression is a major side affect and consult your health professional about this.  

 

Chantix

[Up In Smoke]

17 minutes ago, Sazerac said:

I seem to remember you are on a chantix quit.  If this is so, please be aware that depression is a major side affect and consult your health professional about this.  

 

Chantix

 

Not me....You must be referring to the OP.

[idontsmoke]

18 minutes ago, Sazerac said:

I seem to remember you are on a chantix quit.  If this is so, please be aware that depression is a major side affect and consult your health professional about this.  

 

Chantix

 

Thanks for Remembering. You're right. However I've been off the chantix for over a month now. I do have a mental health diagnosis, so it's not unusual for me to have this depression. It just complicates things sometimes because it's hard to stay focused on doing things that are good for me. Thankfully it'll pass. Thank you again, chantix can definitely cause depression

[jillar]

I was thinking Michelle, whenever I'm feeling down I look for things that make me smile or laugh. That's why I sometimes tell members to check out our social threads. There are so many threads over there that can bring a smile or laugh. Check it out if you get a chance

[Mee]

Oh Michelle, just know that you are stronger now.  You would only adding to that depression by losing your quit.  I am so glad you reached out.  We are here to support you!

[Boo]

21 hours ago, idontsmoke said:

i feel embarrassed and was expecting someone to say WTF is wrong with you, pull up your big girl pants. 

 

There is no harm in wanting to smoke a cigarette.  Addiction and wanting go hand-in-hand.

 

There is all kinds of harm that comes from actually smoking a cigarette.  Thankfully, you didn't do that.

 

You observed the one incontrovertible rule for a successful quit: DON'T SMOKE!  

 

There is nothing to feel embarrassed about.  You should feel proud of yourself.

[Doreensfree]

Well done for reaching out ....this is how you save your wonderful quit ,that you have worked your butt off ,to get this far....

It's the Nico monster...playing with your emotions.....tell him to bugger off....

You fight for this quit Michelle ...you are stronger than you think ...you can do it ....

Don't out yourself back to hating the smoker you were ...

 

Ps ....Great work Jillar.....!!!!!

[garry mhudson]

Way to stay strong and hang in there Michelle. You should be proud of yourself. Best wishes and good luck on the interviews.

[idontsmoke]

Thank you so much you guys. I swear....I'm shocked I'm still nicotine free. It's been awful. I'm giving in to eating junk here and there because out of all my vices it's the least harmful. Gotta hit that steam release valve at least a little....

[jillar]

Hey Michelle, sometimes that's what our bodies need. A good dose of junk food lol. Well done on keeping your quit yesterday