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SOS...sigh....

darcy

By darcy
in The S.O.S. Board

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darcy Rising Star

darcy

Posted
Posted

Hello Fabulous QT People,

 

I am having a really rough go.  Plan to go read the pre respond thread after posting this , then maybe update my blog.  

I realize nothing gets better when I pick up....don't seem to care.

Already went to the store to get smokes and did not get them.

  

Planning to get them tomorrow on grocery run.

Do not want my house guests to feel responsible in anyway for my choices.  They are smokers and addicts (speaking of myself here) are addicts no assistance required. lol...sigh and cry.

 

Planning to hide them from the folks here for awhile.   ha ha ah...stink much?  Can already feel the headache that will happen once I pick up.

  I am so angry and sad and tooo hot.

 

things may be better in the morning....and I need to get to the morning. 

 

 

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Sazerac Enthusiast

Sazerac

Posted
Posted

Darcy !  Baby cakes !

You are not a smoker !  

Let us find something else for you to do, please baby !

Remember your house IS YOUR HOUSE

and You make the rules.

  • Like 4
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Sazerac Enthusiast

Sazerac

Posted
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This isn't about smoking really, is it ?

You've got a FOUR MONTH run of FREEDOM going on !

 

 

I had some gruesome triggers/craves late into my quit.

 

You know what to do.  Breathe.  Take Some Water.  Take a run or a walk or a shower.

 

This feeling will subside.

  • Like 3
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jillar Grand Master

jillar

Posted
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Darcy, you are bigger than any crave! You are the boss, just think how awful its going to be to have to start ALL THE WAY BACK to day 1! You have four fabulous smoke free months and I bet any amount of money that your guests would love to be where you are now. 

You posted your SOS for a reason, because you don't want to lose this quit! Fight for it because you are worth it...

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jillar Grand Master

jillar

Posted
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And if you want to "smoke" along with your guests while keeping that awesome quit might I suggest the wonderful tasting JAC, it's 100% pure wonderful oxygen, just pretend you're holding an actual cigarette in your fingers and then literally go through the motions of "smoking" it. It worked so good at tricking my mind into thinking it was getting the real thing so maybe it will do the same for you too? 

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darcy Rising Star

darcy

Posted
  • Author
Posted

 

 

Yes...keeping the quit is what I want want.

Sometimes I get so angry, hurt or sad I choose...I choose to hurt myself instead of hurling hurtfulness toward people I care about.  Smoking was that choice for so long, I do not know how to navigate this space with out them.  I am  stuck on stupid right now..

 

Tired and hoping sleep comes quickly and a reset of perspective is there in the morning. 

 

thanks to Sazerac and jillar...grateful to know you are walking with me through this.

  • Like 5
Sazerac Enthusiast

Sazerac

Posted
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sleep and remember who you are !  You are a fabulous nicotine free woman !

 

and you are one of us, too  !!!!

  • Like 4
jillar Grand Master

jillar

Posted
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Heck yea we're walking with you for as long as you need us 🤗 Tomorrow is a whole new day and you my dear are going to be so proud of yourself for getting past this gnarly crave and keeping your quit.  I'm sure proud of you 😊

  • Like 4
Sazerac Enthusiast

Sazerac

Posted
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Hey Darcy,

REWARD yourself for conquering this one !  You did a great thing tonight.  One huge brain receptor claimed for yourself !

  • Like 4
Reciprocity Grand Master

Reciprocity

Posted
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Tomorrow brings a new perspective; a new focus.

Remember, YOU are in control of your addiction - not the other way around!

Make it simple. Get back to the basic rule of quitting NOPE and you'll be fine.

  • Like 5
Doreensfree Grand Master

Doreensfree

Posted
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Darcy .

I spent 52 years junkie thinking smoking solved everything ...I now know it solved nothing ,in fact mad situations worse ....

Would you be a happy smoker ....No Way ....you would have yourself you threw away a fabulous 4 month quit ..

All that hard work for nothing ....

The only way it gets better is to keep on at it ....chipping away from this addiction ...

Stay positive ....what you are achieving is a wonderful event ...life changing ....

Keep going ...

  • Like 5
catlover Grand Master

catlover

Posted
Posted

Thinking of you and know exactly how you are feeling. Hang in there Darcy, you  have  4 amazing months behind you. Please don't throw it away . Like you say , you already feel the headache

that will start when you pick up, and this will be combined with  real sadness, and anger that you gave your great quit away, and then..... start all over again, and you never know when that will be.

Do whatever it takes to stay free. These feelings will pass, and you will be happy again.

Stay Determined. 

  • Like 4
Mee Collaborator

Mee

Posted
Posted
15 hours ago, darcy said:

Sometimes I get so angry, hurt or sad I choose...I choose to hurt myself instead of hurling hurtfulness toward people I care about

Oh Darcy, you are so like I was.  During my quit, my emotions ruled my craves.  My self esteem was about zero  I am approaching my second year of freedom and I can't tell you how strong I have become.  You are so worth a happy smoke free life.  Just keep that quit going.  You have already been through the tough stuff.  You do not want to blow that.  Hang in there!

  • Like 5
johnny5 Grand Master

johnny5

Posted
Posted
24 minutes ago, jillar said:

How are you today @darcy?

 

Yes, please let us know how you are doing, darcy.

 

I'm sorry you are struggling but nothing is worth throwing away your quit.

  • Like 3
  • 2 weeks later...

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