SOS!

[idontsmoke]

Hi friends. Like I've said, I've been having unrelenting cravings for most of this quit; a month longer than any other quit. While they are uncomfortable I'm getting through them. 

 

I had my shoulder surgery yesterday and from the second I woke up in the recovery room the cravings were on me. I started planning my relapse and it was REAL. Or maybe my defenses were down because of the heavy meds. Either way, this is the first time I have planned my relapse that seriously.

 

So today I'm craving as usual but better than yesterday which is good cuz it was close. I'm grateful I have motivation to stay quit.

 

Thought I should SOS this since I can "go there" so quickly

Edited July 18, 2020 by idontsmoke

[Sazerac]

Look, Michelle.

It doesn't matter what happens in your life,

your quit MUST be sacrosanct !

 

Stop giving junkie thoughts power.

They only have the power you give them.

 

 

[Sazerac]

Here is Cristóbal's great thread

Your Quit & Your LIfe, The Proper Sequence

 

 

I know it is difficult changing smokey thoughts into other thoughts.

 

I trained myself to concentrate on breathing and find something of beauty  to give me a bump of endorphins.

 

I found beauty all around me.  That light on that leaf.  A cloud.  A certain color.

 

The feel of silk or velvet or the bark of a tree, flowing water.  

 

The scent of lemons.  A perfume.

 

Revisit a beautiful memory.

 

Listening to a favored piece of music or reading a favorite story or poem.

(or writing one !)

 

Even faking a smile will start endorphins working.

 

These simple practices will serve you throughout your life when you encounter stress or pain or fear.

 

 

 

 

[Mee]

OMG Michelle.  You are doing so great and do not want to go there!.  I have been here for your many attempts to quit and think you need to bite the bullet and get it over with.  You are much stronger than you think and just need to push past those craves.  

[Mona]

I know it sucks sometimes @idontsmoke but just think how terrible it would be if you'd have to start all over again.  Obviously you wanted to quit or you wouldn't have done it, right?  Your cravings will go away in time and nicotine free will be your new normal.  Just hang on to that wonderful quit you have going on!

[Doreensfree]

Michelle....you know deep down you don't want to be a smoker ...

You have come so far ....you ready to throw it all away ....again ....????

Your going to be just as disappointed as you have all the other quits you give up on ...

It will feel no different ..

[Mac#23]

Hey Michelle,

  You are a non smoker now. You have chosen to be a better and healthier version of yourself by eliminating nicotine. You are a fighter and you will persevere. Deep inside you can feel yourself getting stronger by the day. Don't let the nicotine monster rule your life. You are on the cusp of taking your life back. Don't give in on a moment of weakness. You are stronger than the addiction. I firmly believe you have what it takes to have a lifelong quit. It all starts with you. What say you?

[jillar]

Hey Michelle, how are you feeling now? I think the reason you're craving so hard is because your surgery is over. The junkie in you is thinking that vaping will be your reward. In actuality, it isnt. In fact it will undo all that hard work your body has done to get rid of the chemicals you've been putting in it.  You're healing will almost instantly slow to a crawl as you take in all that nasty nicotine into your month and a half clean lungs. 

I don't think you want to go there again, especially since you posted an SOS. These craves are a temporary nuisance but a smoking related illness may not be..... 

[idontsmoke]

Hi @jillar Much better. and youre right, anything that is determined in my brain as deserving a reward triggers a craving. So do other situations Id usually vape, which is any situation where 

Ive been unable to for a period of time, but im sure that goes for all of us. Pain and being alone to recover causes fear which is a trigger BUT i have no desire to *actually* relapse

 

Thank you for asking

TY all who responded. 

 

To be clear (maybe I wasnt)  seriously planning the relapse was only while i was in the recovery room.....once i was released it was a desire, not a plan, and i got thru it. By the time i got home as well as today I have no desire to *actually* vape

[idontsmoke]

PS look at those stats. no wonder I have more money in savings lol

[jillar]

I'm so glad to hear that Michelle  Those are some numbers already aren't they?! I used to love logging on each morning my whole first year to see what my numbers were and was/am amazed at the amounts of time, money and cigarettes not smoked which I never paid attention to WHILE I was smoking!

Glad you're already feeling much better Michelle, and you're not alone because you have us  

[johnny5]

I'm sorry you are struggling but you did a great thing by posting and SOS instead of smoking.

 

You have a great quit going and, just as Cristobal's post that Sazerac shared stated, you cannot let life's events dictate whether you smoke or not.  Your quit is extremely important and you must protect it no matter what life throws your way.

 

Great job in keeping your quit.  You are a nonsmoker and do not need the filth of smoking in your life.

[JohnQ]

Hi Michelle, great to see you back and still kicking the Nicotine monster in the butt.  I believe in you, well done Michelle!