Back, sad and smoking again.

[HeatherDianne]

Hello Everyone! I joined  this group last fall and -I had a nice quit going - and 2 months ago - I threw it all away - and here I am right back where I started. . A little background - I have been smoking since I was 16 years old - I have had a few quits over the years but ALWAYS give in to my junkie addiction. This year I quit smoking on October 28, 2020 and had 5 solid months and then I just gave away my quit. Working from home was a big trigger - work was a great way to get through each day smoke free - once we were all locked in our homes - my addiction won. Here I am 2 months after starting again and of course I am thinking about when I will quit everyday and I keep smoking while I consider this. So this morning I got up and promised myself I would start the first step - education and support. So today I will read the homework list suggested in the newcomer session, I do not have a quit date yet - but hope I will choose one shorty.  

I know my areas of weakness - the main one being I still feel like I am missing out on something when I am not smoking - I still believe the cigarette does something for me besides feeding me nicotine. its like I know logically it is an addicition plan and simple and I started feeding the monster and here I am - smoking and feeling lost and hopeless. I would welcome any suggestions or help to get me choose a date and throw the smokes away. 

I am excited to meet more people who truly understand what it is like to live with this addiction. I know I have to pick a date, do the reading, do the work - first step coming here (very hard for me) and admit I am smoking again. Everyday I say is this your last day Heather? And it never is. Last time I chose a date about 2 weeks away and I think that helped me actually stop. Anyway - my next post will be my first quit day and I know I am going to need to do the NOPE pledge each and every day and I have some work to do deep down inside of myself to truly win over my junkie addiction. 

[jillar]

Welcome back Heather, sorry you let such an awesome quit go. You were pretty much through all the tough parts. That's one thing that kept/keeps me motivated, I never want to go through those first few months again.

I too felt like I was missing out or even why do they get to smoke and I can't. All junkie thinking and I'm glad that I didn't cave. But I used my support board to the full extent.

I stayed glued to it. Posting, reading, supporting, celebrating and then when I needed to get my mind off smoking I played games and socialized.

We have an excellent variety of forums and topics here so I encourage you to take full advantage of the site and us. Let's get this done.

Oh and you know picking a date rarely works, you're here now so choose today to claim back your life

[Reciprocity]

Welcome back HD! The light is always on here on the train to welcome not only new members but others who have lost their way and wish to get clean for good! Jillar has made some good points for you to consider. Others will agree I think that those who stay in touch and involved here on a regular basis ongoing generally do very well with their quits because that association with others who have been able to secure a solid quit rubs off on newer quitters. Also, as you begin to discuss your quit with others it will help solidify your own quit without you even noticing that it's happening. Sure, there's a lot of non-quit banter here but that too can be important to you. You always know there's a place to go and be with others that have walked the same path as you.

 

In terms of your start date, make it soon. Pushing it out too long will allow time to make excuses not to try again. Once you make that date, stick with it! Reset your quit date info. and begin watching all the numbers add up in your favour again. You'll never regret quitting so don't give up on yourself - we won't!

[JH63]

Welcome, Don't be Sad. Many others are, or have been right where you are at now. There are lots of people here to help you! Nice people who understand! You have quit before so you should have some idea about what works for you. Make a quit plan! Learn from the past, and try to figure out what was missing in that past quit that caused you to pick up again. You've been back smoking for two months, so you should be ready to get right back to it. The longer you wait the harder it will be!  Good Luck!

[Boo]

Welcome back Heather.

 

The law of addiction hasn't changed since your last ride with us.  The rules for building a successful quit are the same as before.

 

2 hours ago, HeatherDianne said:

I know my areas of weakness - the main one being I still feel like I am missing out on something when I am not smoking - I still believe the cigarette does something for me besides feeding me nicotine. its like I know logically it is an addicition plan and simple and I started feeding the monster and here I am - smoking and feeling lost and hopeless.

 

Quitting is a process.  It takes a bit of time to rewire the brain from the years of addiction and conditioning that we subjected ourselves to.

 

Commit to the quit and be relentless with that commitment.  The freedom gained by quitting is worth the effort and then some.

[Paul723]

Jump!  Quit now!

[Sazerac]

Start at the beginning, Heather Dianne.

10 Ways To Effectively Use This Forum To Help Yourself Quit Smoking

 

and etch NOPE into your soul.  This is the way it has to be.

 

You will feel so much better about yourself in short time

and it will be a pleasure to see you blossom.

 

S

[Doreensfree]

Sorry you decided to smoke ....

Just dust down and take your seat and sit tight ...you know the rules .they are still the same as ever ..

If you want to quit ...Never Take Another Puff.....

And stay close ..very important ...this is why we recommend you stay around for a year ...it gives you more chance of staying quit ...

[johnny5]

Welcome back, Heather.  Like you, I had a number of short quits before I quit for good....and, just like you, I kept relapsing because I felt that I was missing out on something by not smoking.

 

The truth is, you are missing out on nothing positive by quitting smoking.....all that comes with smoking is negative.  All sorts of life threatening physical risks (too many to mention but it is a huge list), throwing money away on something that kills you, feeling like an outcast in an increasingly non-smoking world, a horrible smell, always out of energy, etc. etc. etc.

 

That supposedly relaxing feeling you get from lighting up a cigarette is just feeding an addiction.  There is nothing relaxing about that process.  It is actually more stressful to continue smoking.

 

You gain nothing by continuing to smoke and gain so much by leaving those nasty cigarettes behind. 

 

Stick around.  Read and participate.  You will be doing yourself (and your loved ones) a huge favor by quitting smoking for good.  You just need to realize smoking does nothing positive for you.

[NADA]

3 hours ago, HeatherDianne said:

Working from home was a big trigger - work was a great way to get through each day smoke free - once we were all locked in our homes - my addiction won.

 

I hate to tell you HD, but your lungs and heart don't care why you started again.  They just know they're being poisoned and are restarting the horrible disease progression that may lead to an agonizing, early death.

The flip side of that dreary coin is that you have it within your power to once-and-for-all get this done.  Just accept the fact that smoking is not an option no matter what and you'll be assured success. 

If you think you have a valid reason to start smoking again you might consider posting an SOS.  Reasoning and support usually help pull people back from the ledge.

[HeatherDianne]

Thank you so much everyone, I have really been thinking of nothing else besides quitting and I hate that I am back here - especially since it is all my choice and I'm smokng again because I took that puff then puffs and bam back where I started. I know picking a day helped me last time so that is what my goal is today -pick the day and go for it. I was embarrassed to come back here and face it - face I blew the freedom I had earned. I also know that this board was a main reason I was successful at all - I stopped coming when I got to a sad part in my quit - I wanted to try just not thinking about it - but I realize now that not coming here and asking for help and sharing my journey -helping others was the first step In smoking again - I lost sight of what I truly want and that is to be smoke free. Just reading the welcomes and support motivates me. THANK YOU

[HeatherDianne]

Thank you for your kind words, they really hit home for me. Most of all I feel the support coming through the computer - I really need that. I started on my QUIT work today and here is my list for wanting to be FREE

 

Health - the cough I have is chronic and awful - I hate it - when I was not smoking for 5 months I loved the freedom of feeling strong breaths. I miss it. I do not want to be sick and put myself and family through that.

Family - My son was so proud of me when I quit I think his daily reminder was a big part of my success - I have not told him I started smoking again - but I do plan too I just want to be a couple days into my quit before I fess up - hubby is supportive - but not a real cheerleader or one to say he is proud of you. He was very disappointed when I started again. My daughter has never really said anything - but she is 15 so always a bit moody LOL

 

Money - It is soooo expensive and I am not a couple of  smokes a day - so it adds up and it also adds up in my savings account when I am not smoking. 

Social Life - This one is hard to admit - but the minute I hear we are going somewhere or doing something - I wonder when and where I will be able to smoke and if I can't I often avoid the function - How crazy is that? As I write it down I realize this is holding me back and affecting my friendships. 

Be my authentic self - when I am not smoking I feel so much better about everything - no hiding or lying - no getting worried I won't be able to smoke and hopeful - when I smoke I pretty much focus on when I will get my next cigarette. What a waste of time. 

 

Next assignment - A plan and a quit date. How do I plan to get through the first few days, weeks what will I do when the cravings are the only thing I can think of. 

[Mac#23]

Welcome back,

 Perseverance and strong will is what will take through all this. I'm not telling you anything you don't already know. Don't let the little hiccup of relapse get you down. Don't let this minor blip define who you are. You know deep inside that you are better than that. So, climb aboard the train and kick the nicotine beast to the curb. We will be here for you.

[Doreensfree]

 

Next assignment - A plan and a quit date. How do I plan to get through the first few days, weeks what will I do when the cravings are the only thing I can think of. 

 

 

No time like now to quit ....just crush those cancer sticks and flush them....why put more poison into your body ,just to get rid of it as soon as you can ...

You get through the early days ,by reading all you can here ...all the green pinned threads on the

Main Discussion Board ....watch all the video,s....they cover most subjects.....

And of course our daily NOPE ....

Just do it !!!

[jillar]

@HeatherDianne read our new Smoking and Covid forum https://www.quittrain.com/forum/22-coronavirus-sars-cov-2-covid-19/ 

Research has shown that this virus is really hard on smokers! Will that be enough for you to quit sooner rather than later?

[beazel]

Welcome back HeatherDianne! I don't have much else to add to the excellent advice already given.

 

I hope you stick around - the support of a quit forum was a huge part of my sticky quit.

 

 

 

 

[Sazerac]

5 hours ago, HeatherDianne said:

A plan and a quit date.

 

 

Setting Quit Dates

 

Just quit, HeatherDianne and avoid the anticipatory stress...the addict's voice is not the voice you should be listening to.

Hear that freedom ? 

It is right HERE, right NOW.  

[HeatherDianne]

THANK YOU to everyone for your encouragement - So here is my current situation - I am sitting here drinking my coffee and I am out of cigarettes. Already thinking about getting in the car and getting some before I start work, but all of your wonderful words are telling me to just do it -today - if I do I will be the end of day 1 when I wake up in the morning  I don't quite have my quit plan ready to go - but I know what works for me. I suffer from anxiety and the withdrawal of nicotine does not help ( no excuse - I also know that when I get to about a month of no smoking - my anxiety is WAY better since I am not in constant nicotine withdrawal - I used NRT last time to get through the first month - I find once I get to about 4 weeks - everything start to feel better physically and emotionally. I have everything I need to start today - so why am I going back and forth?? UGH

[Paul723]

You can do it!  The constant feeding of your nicotine addiction adds to your anxiety levels.  Once you get that monkey off your back, you'll feel better and your body will start healing from the damage smoking does to it.  You can work out a plan as you go.

[HeatherDianne]

Thank you Paul ! I am going to do it!! I am crying as I type this because I know how hard it can be - but I do not want to smoke any more... so I am jumping over to pledge - it's ok to pledge I won't smoke for the REST of the day right?? The battle right now is telling me - you are not ready - but I am never ready - I know I have to jump in and DO WHATEVER I have to and just not smoke - the other side of me (junkie) telling me I am not ready, I didn't pick a date, I don't have my lollipops etc - I mean I could list a million reasons - deep down I know it is all %&^$$ - so why I am sitting here avoiding the pledge? 

[Sazerac]

Heather, you are avoiding NOPE pledge because you are obeying addiction.  Please, in this case...DRINK THE NOPE KOOL_AID !

You don't need a friggin' plan.....just quit and live as a free person !  Get some happy going on !

 

Smoking Does Not Help You Overcome Stress.

 

This is one of the basic tenets of nicotine addiction.  Learn this.  Understand this.  Accept this.  

 

 

[HeatherDianne]

I am avoiding the pledge - no smoking so far and no I did not got to store - I need to take the pledge - something is holding me back - 

[jillar]

Take the pledge Heather, it's only for today. You have your ticker, you have your support crew, just do it

[HeatherDianne]

Okay - I am jumping over there now. I will not smoke for the rest of today. I had my last 2 this morning. I will not smoke today. 

[despair not]

Congrats on getting back on the train again sit in the NOPE section.