Why I relapse and my triggers

[Evelyn]

Obvious there's something why I relapse: the combination of boredom and loneliness make that I relapse. It's no excuse I'm trying to find the triggers...

I live alone without many friends and being disabled makes me vulnerable for a relapse. Feels like I can't escape it.

I don't work.

This feels powerless. But in fact the power lies within me.

I think there are more ways of distraction I can tap in from.

[robf]

The reason is really very simply. You relapse is because you put a cigarette in your mouth and smoke it.

 

Once again... Where are you getting the cigarettes, lighter, etc from? Throw all that sh1t away. You don't need it.

 

Learn guitar (if your disability doesn't prevent it), or indeed any musical instrument. I write all my music on an app on my phone called Caustic, buy it, it's awesome.

 

But don't smoke, it's really very simple.

[Still winning]

I am sorry, these are excuses :(  They are junkie thinking.  Really read them through hun and you can see it yourself. These are the reasons YOU give yourself to not sos and to go buy cigs.

Your disability (and my mums, you are not alone) apparently don't prevent shop runs? 

I don't work either. Really boring isn't it!! I read, do free online courses, housework, exercise...I don't smoke.

 

I could do each point but I won't, I don't want to hammer you, merely explain. 

 

Just one rule Evelyn, don't put something in your mouth and set fire to it. Do ANYTHING else, just not that. 

 

xx

[JackiMac]

If you smoke Evelyn you will lay every excuse to blame, apart from yourself, you managed 2 weeks!!! two weeks and threw it away, if you can get through one day without the nicotine you can quit for good, I have a hell of alot of stress in my life, but do you know that if I started smoking again I just know that it will only add to my stresses, you have to be stronger that the addiction if you want to get through, we all get bored, find something to do, study on-line, learn a new hobby, do something that you have always wanted to do, there is a whole world awaiting you, just don't put something in your mouth and set it on fire!  I am not trying to have a go at you Evelyn, but you need to get off your merry go round, otherwise it will keep happening and happening, and you don't really want that.  Be strong Evelyn and you will succeed

[sgt.barney]

You relapse because you are an addict.

 

Nothing more. Nothing less.

 

Quit trying to make it something it's not.

 

It's just quitting.

 

Just quitting.

 

 

 

 

Easy Peasy

[ChRiSpY]

You need to be empowered... you are far far from empowered.  Stop feeling sorry for yourself and start living.

 

All you need to do is not smoke a ciggie.  it is not rocket science.

 

Maybe you should read more and get educated.

 

Start over... and only move forwards cause going backwards sucks.

[Pippa]

Evelyn - why are there cigarettes in your world - destroy them - make any one that walks into your world / house leave then outside

 

Now - work out a strategy for if you want one - here is a thought post on here

 

Just make one promise - you are never ever going to put something In your mouth and set it on fire

 

Make that promise and keep it - and I and everyone here will support you ....forever ... No lonely in that !

[Evelyn]

You all are right. I need to commit to my quit. Lighting what's in my mouth is NOT an option.

All is true accept I am not feeling sorry for myself.

[bakon]

I wish my problem was I didn't work and had no friends close by.

 

Work is major pain in the ass, 8 hours a day, 1/3 of my life (at least)

 

Friends- over rated mouchers, needy things who want to dump more problems on top of what I already need to get done. True friends buy a beer when they see you and conversation never gets to the point of adding more shit to the pile. Be glad yours are limited.

 

Boredom- I pray for boredom.

 

Disabled- you get all the good parking spots.

 

Live alone- Bible ever says something to the point of "better to live alone than with an angry wife" -Proverbs  my wife is a BEAR latterly, sign me up for the one bedroom over a garage apartment-PLEEEEAAAASE.

 

Triggers- relapse- power- all nice words. Not real objects that can be touched. Easy to blame.

 

Reason you smoke- you want to.

 

Way to quit- Don't want to anymore.

 

Sorry if blunt, but you sit on the teetering point for months now. Pull the trigger, get off the horse, start the engine, do something.

[Doreensfree]

Everlyn you have had some good sound advice.....

Being bored,having no friends ,there's always a solution....

Killing yourself with nicotine is not a good enough reason.....

Find something you would love to do,join a group with similar problems,this will bring new friends.....

Please find a way....

You know you can quit,you have done it.....

We say all these things because we care.....

Hugs

Doreen

[Evelyn]

I AM doing it right now 

[Evelyn]

I wish my problem was I didn't work and had no friends close by.

 

Work is major pain in the ass, 8 hours a day, 1/3 of my life (at least)

 

Friends- over rated mouchers, needy things who want to dump more problems on top of what I already need to get done. True friends buy a beer when they see you and conversation never gets to the point of adding more shit to the pile. Be glad yours are limited.

 

Boredom- I pray for boredom.

 

Disabled- you get all the good parking spots.

 

Live alone- Bible ever says something to the point of "better to live alone than with an angry wife" -Proverbs  my wife is a BEAR latterly, sign me up for the one bedroom over a garage apartment-PLEEEEAAAASE.

 

Triggers- relapse- power- all nice words. Not real objects that can be touched. Easy to blame.

 

Reason you smoke- you want to.

 

Way to quit- Don't want to anymore.

 

Sorry if blunt, but you sit on the teetering point for months now. Pull the trigger, get off the horse, start the engine, do something.

 

 

SCREW YOU, you obviously never encountered suffering in your life and yet still I am doing it again. So shut your ignorant mouth....

[queen greenlover]

Sorry you're having alot of struggles, I really believe that women see their cigs as their only true friend BUT you got to kill that idea before you end up a dead smoker. I sent you a PM with some things that helped me. I know YOU DO want to quit otherwise you wouldn't be hear hoping for gem of truth to help you. Not everyone has an easy quit but to me those who struggle have a stronger quit cause they had to work their ass off to get cig free. For alot of us HALT & NOPE can be the mantras that can keep you cig free. Cause its true unless you can figure out why you really want freedom you will struggle . I had to finally accept that as much as "i loved smoking" it would kill me so then I debated do I want 3 inches of burning paper running my life or will I take that leap of faith & believe their is life w/o cigs & their is & its sweet.

[El Bandito]

Hi Evelyn

 

Lots of good advice above. Most quitters struggle for all sorts of reasons. However there are some things that seem to be common to all quits.

 

1. After all of the thought and internal debate - it is a conscious action to smoke. Therefore - the QUITTER makes the decision. I know that your life is complicated and that you have suffered. However - you are a survivor - you have made it through. The power to quit is YOURS and YOURS alone. I know that you know this. But just think about it for a second. This quit is something completely in YOUR hands, something personal and private to you. That is empowering I think. I agree with your statement "The Power lies in me"

2. Most successful quits are statistically not the first quit. There are some people that quit first time - which is brilliant. But, I believe that most try several times. I know that I quit for 9 months in the late nineties. I relapsed - and here we are in 2014. I let the relapse cost me 15 years. You let it cost you a couple of days. I know you are the smart one.

3. The longer a quit goes on, the easier it gets. It gets easier.

 

Each of us is different. Some folk like to be absorbed in other things and ignore the cravings. Some people laugh and say there are no cravings, some people like to 'fight' with their cravings. Shout and scream at them.

 

Which answer is right for you - I don't know. 

 

Everyone here wants to support you the best way that they know, Evelyn.

 

You can do this. :D

[NeedforSpeedHM]

I am not sure there is anything more we as a collective group can give you, to help you quit. We have all gave you excellent advice, and support. You fall down, we encourage you to start another quit.. it's becoming a vicious cycle.... kinda like kicking a dead horse.

 

When you are READY to quit, to throw all smoking ANYTHING away.. and get serious and not relapse over and over......

 

let us know.

[bakon]

what part says I have never encountered suffering?

 

you don't own it.

 

other here have gone through it too. 

 

wish you well, hope you pull it together and do quit.

 

peace

[Melody]

We all suffer in our own ways and not everyone is capable of understanding the different struggles in this world. Doesn't mean you can't find the careness in a message. The people who are here, especially those whose been here for months and years, stay to pay it forward, friendships and wisdom to share so others can beat their smoking demon. Just know that you might not always read what you NEED, but that it comes from a good place.

[sgt.barney]

you obviously never encountered suffering in your life ...

 

 

 

 

 

EDITED TO ADD:

 

You are not special. You are "suffering" the same pain we all did: an addict missing his/her fix. Get over it and quit, or don't and die a smoker.  It's a simple choice really. The only one it really matters to is you.  The rest of us have already done our "suffering" and y'know what? It wasn't all that.

 

It wasn't all that.

 

 

 

Easy Peasy

[queen greenlover]

Wow some of these post remind me ANOTHER QUIT SITE...................................... :rolleyes:  :rolleyes:   Yes to some of you this person is trying your patience-BUT really, basically telling someone to  S H I T  or get off the pot doesn't work on some strugglers. :dash1: 

[Gemzee]

I think all the posts are clearly trying to help, along with a little tongue in cheek humour. Works for me :p

[bakon]

unicorns farting rainbows, everyone jump in the pool. the water is warm and .....

 

if it was easy, everyone would do it and this site would be a waste of time.

 

but some work is required

[queen greenlover]

Theirs work & theirs work. Maybe snarkiness worked wonders for you or maybe because you're past a yr you feel that you earned the right to post like you do. But NOT everyone responds to a kick in the @ss approach. :dash2:  :dash2: :dash2:  :dash2:  Yes for some (like me) I decided to prove to all those tough love people that I could & did quit BUT everyone has to find their own path to freedom.

[bakon]

bang your head all you want, call it snarkiness or rainbow fartiness, your two years make you what, the expert, please, I quit for multiple years, multiple times,

 

simple fact, you got to want to quit.

 

sure different approaches to everyone, but someone who is flundering and not making headway, possibly seeking attention, might need a kick in the pants

[sgt.barney]

you feel that you earned the right to post like you do.

 

Here's the thing, Beth - nobody "earns" a right to post in any particular way.  They ALREADY HAVE THAT RIGHT.  The Sarge posts how he likes.  Bakon posts .. well ... Bakon, y'know? and you, Beth,  you get to post how you like.

 

Nobody grants an "earned" (imagined) permission.

 

Deal with it.

 

 

NOT everyone responds to a kick in the @ss approach.

 

Well she sure as shit ain't responding to anything else, now is she?

 

 

 

 

 

Easy Peasy

[MarylandQuitter]

Evelyn, there is no doubt that the issues that you face each day are ones that I cannot even begin to understand and how they impact you.  I'll put myself out on a limb and say that 99.9% of the people here don't either.  Understanding and caring are two completely different things though.  People here care about you and want to see you succeed.  We may not fully comprehend what you must deal with each day but we do care.  If people didn't care, they wouldn't take the time to respond.

 

One thing I do understand is that cigarettes don't care about your past.  They don't care one bit about your sense of loss and the other issues that you must deal with each and every day.  Cigarettes only care about adding to your stress, giving you diseases, controlling your life, removing any self-esteem that you've worked so hard to get, making you feel like a failure, torture you with cravings and try to convince you that you cannot live without them.  Smoking works against your therapy that will make you better.

 

Only you can ensure that no matter how lonely you feel that you will not smoke.  We can be here to catch you when you fall and expose the junkie thinking, but at the end of the day it's just you and your will to not smoke no matter how good or bad you feel.

 

You were doing very good so you know you can certainly live without the damn cigarettes.  Remember how good you felt as each pay passed without smoking?  Then you felt lonely and smoked.  Smoking didn't cause your loneliness but it did contribute to your sadness and disappointment.  Smoking just adds to the very issues that you're trying to recover from.

 

This video is all over this site but I'm going to post here for you.  I think it talks about some of the reasons why you've been finding it so hard to stay quit.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qVEyGdqwjmQ