Quit by default (due lockdown)

[helmethermit]

7 hours ago, darcy said:

glad you are feeling confident in your quit and reveling in freedom.

 

thank you all for the wondrous, sublime, enigmatic, reverie that i bask in.

 

on a personal note i was young once when this angel decided that she had found somebody who would treat her better. an ex is what they say maybe. an angel is what she remains to me. she called me out of the blue after what feels like decades to check if i was ok. do i hate her ? no. do i wish her back - no. she made her choices and it would break my heart and crush my soul to know that a choice that she had made eons ago turned out to be wrong. angels are never wrong btw, in case you did not know.

 

so you see - hate does not solve anything. only closure with no hard feelings does that. i was a smoker once, i loved smoking, i enjoyed it to the hilt. but now i want that closure. and the more i detest, hate and demonize it - the thing and feelings will hurt no one but me. so, no more pain and nothing but gain. i chose to bury my passion, love, dependence with no hard feelings or regrets. it is over now.

 

sometimes i do not even know what i write here. please start a section on mumbling of a deranged sailor and dump this thread there. To be honest  - more than smoking videos it is these kind of videos that help me quit. i lived without an angel i thought i could never. then what made me believe that i could never survive without the devil, lol. god, an old sentimental fool. anyway - breaking the forum rules and posting a song here. hope this violation is overlooked. 

 

 

[Doreensfree]

Lovin your journey posts H......following your journey on the Main Board is where it should be ....

There might be someone sitting on on the fence ,that you help take that leap on to the Train ...

A thing to remember ... Everything your are feeling just now is temporary.....your body is healing every day your free...

Keep posting .....not sure if posting numbers is good for your quit though  (  lol )....

I'm giving you a massive pat on the back ....

[helmethermit]

4 hours ago, Doreensfree said:

Lovin your journey posts H......following your journey on the Main Board is where it should be ....

There might be someone sitting on on the fence ,that you help take that leap on to the Train ...

A thing to remember ... Everything your are feeling just now is temporary.....your body is healing every day your free...

Keep posting .....not sure if posting numbers is good for your quit though  (  lol )....

I'm giving you a massive pat on the back ....

 

 thank you like always,

 

today - 

most coughing day (although the cough is light and hardly noticeable) since the start. 

no longer craves feel threatening or annoying. 

the new power of smell will keep you giggling all day believe me.

the ease with which the air flows down your throat is something you will enjoy so much. 

tired of logging down and tracking a story that is dead by now (quit complete now so no more fun in following it - as long as there was the chance of a 50/50 success rate it seemed edge of the seat thriller. not anymore.

no anger, no frustration

no feeling of ego and no eureka - i did it. (realized now - i did nothing big - just stopped doing something stupid).

i have the power - i have the P-U-P-P-Y  P-O-W-E-R, lol. 

 

 

 

 

 

[Sazerac]

Congratulations on your First Week of Freedom, @helmethermit.

 

Rewards !  Accolades !  The crowd goes wild !

 

The power of smell.  Many of us had some quitter's flatulence for giggles and to test our new sensory awareness.

 

You might like this vid  from Boo's post, Perception Shift

 

 

Your experience will help others to quit.  You are a pleasure to read.

There are many eyes out there/in here.

This is why when a subject comes up I include so many links to resources.

You never know who is listening.

 

[Doreensfree]

Congratulations H !!  1 wk done and dusted 

[johnny5]

Congratulations on 1 week smoke free, @helmethermit 

 

[helmethermit]

thank you everybody. thank you johhny5. i read the post by boo and it is a soul slicer - shot through my heart. some folks here are writers i suspect, lol. gifted folks and wizards with words, inspiration and endless positive energy.

 

i guess the journey comes to an end here - never thought it would be this soon.

 

but it has and this thread has done its job.

 

i have quit for good.

 

i shall remain on the forum and maybe start some threads on some other topics or scream - help, help in other walks of life. as far as smoking is concerned - that chapter of my life is closed and buried. the epitaph is simple - NOPE, NOPE and NOPE. 

 

so, thank you all - this is a thread that changed my life in just a week.

 

 

 

 

 

[jillar]

Congratulations on your first week quit helmethermit, I love your positive attitude but worry because you've only been quit one week. You've got a lot more unexpected craves to come and if you become complacent you risk losing your awesome quit. Stay close, think about taking the one year commitment that's pinned at the top of the main forum. We believe that it takes minimum of one year to get through most of the cravings a year brings.  

[Doreensfree]

I have to agree....you must always be on your guard ....

Stay close ....those craves can come out of no where and smack you in the face ...

I love your so positive ....and believe you won't smoke again .....

 

 

[Sazerac]

I appreciate your exuberance H but, understand.

You are dealing with addiction.  Addiction is with you FOREVER.

Yes, we can put it to sleep by standing by and committing to Not One Puff Ever

but, this takes vigilance throughout your life.  

 

I know you are pushing a new broom here but, I recommend watching all the videos (even the ones you don't like)

and completely educating yourself about your addiction.  Read until your eyes bleed and learn.  Education is your strength, and these are tools you will use forever. 

 

We have seen a lot of successful quits here and also a lot of failed ones.

You are most vulnerable the first days and less so throughout the first YEAR.

This we know,  both from experience and by other's experience.

 

 

I know Too Much About Smoking To Relapse

 

I Hate Smoking So Much That There Is No Way I Could Ever Go Back

 

Complacency

 

 

So, start all the posts you want but, keep your quit FOREMOST.  Protect it with your life.

You are dealing with a deadly addiction, should you underestimate the power of addiction- you do so at your own peril !

 

 

[helmethermit]

true, quite true - maybe, lol.

 

i may seem like i am being over optimistic or jumping the gun. or underestimating the power of addiction. and this quit was born and raised in a controlled and so far away from real life conditions. well, i am not misplaced or overstating anything. and there is no ego, no excitement, no newbie desperation behind the simple truthful outburst - i am a non-smoker now. this is a fact that i i know - done, dusted,buried and even the epitaph is up and running - its over now. for forever.....and a day. 

 

to be honest - rather than living in fear of a re-lapse i would prefer to live in regret with the stick in my hand. i want to remain fearless and that is how i will raise my quit to be. the quit must never dominate me or else i will be ruthless in my discipline as i have been in command at sea and with sailors you have to be tough as hell believe me. the sea dogs do not dish out any respect unless they fear you and trust in your abilities as a commander.  

 

each time i would step on board a new vessel i would within 24 hours of my joining have the emergency drills. one drill and i knew how far i had to work on the crew or major areas of correction etc.  sometimes it was a brand new ship and at times the girl would be a 20 year old or more. end of the day it is the competence and training of the crew that makes a ship safe or unsafe. i never had to wait for a month to realize that. Hey, one month down today - i think they are good enough now. no, that is not how it works.

 

after a year of my quit do i grow horns?. no. i will be me, just the same old me that i am today.

after a year i will still be as vulnerable as i am today or just as stronger or maybe a bit stronger than i am today. 

 

i feel it has nothing to do with withdrawal symptoms. that is  a myth. there is nothing like physical dependence in the world of smoking. it is just mental dependence. i could be wrong but that is the way i see it now. 

yes, like you stated so rightly - i will have armed myself with knowledge far beyond what i possess today. a year from now but from my time at sea i realized long back that successful folks are those who follow orders and rules well. ntk works well. you are always given information on a ntk basis (need to know). less is more many a times. at least to us sailors as we are by default dumber than landlubbers.  

 

 the old sea dog in me is trained thus - give me an order, period. i need to know what to do - not why it needs to be done. that is the commanding officer's concern. what did the captain say - NOPE, right captain sazerac . thy will be done, period. 

 

will i re-lapse : no, i will not. that is impossible. 

why will you not re-lapse : because when i quit i meant it to be forever

its hard holding onto a quit : i am not holding onto a quit, i just let go a habit

the urge to re-lapse is strong : i will bribe myself and win my heart and soul over. (lol, i will do anything to retain this glorious freedom)

what do you mean : that 650 twin chrome retro? she has spoke wheels? twin exhaust? stay smoke free for 3 months and we will pick it up.

really, really!! you mean that ?? to hell with the smokey doodle - ill bury that dumbo twice in the grave. 

parallel twin, wow, really : yes, so behave and stay in line. 

that is awesome : stay smoke free and ill take you on that 6000 mile ride, our dream road-trip too. 

ill guard his grave with a shotgun, you relax :  good, no worries but watch out. cappie says these idiots have a way of sneaking back and cappie seemed really worried when she stated that. 

aye-aye mate, ill carry some extra rounds too, just in case : roger charlie. have a safe watch, i am knocking off now.

over and out mate, sleep tight and do not worry - king neptune watches over us : hell sailor boy - i bet this time even davy jones is also on our side, lol. 

 

when i began replying to this post all i wanted to say was sazerac - sure thing, i will watch out. how did i end up with what i have?. anyway - like always , do not take anything that does not make sense in my post seriously.  this must be the funniest quit out here. most delusional and the weirdest one. but i made it and in these cases - it is the end that matters. the how is irrelevant. hey keyboard - if i type more than six words next post onwards auto delete the stuff please. i am tired of coming across as a emotional and out of control sentimental sailor. cannot proof read this, so bear with the typos. if i proof read it i will delete the entire post i know for sure, lol. 

 

[Angeleek]

Salute, Helmethermit! Way to get free! Shine on, you crazy Diamond!

[Angeleek]

I personally know two people who quit just like that and stayed quit for good on their own. Bon voyage, sailor! and enjoy this new form of freedom! Who knows where it will take you...be well!

[Doreensfree]

Good for you Sailor !!!!.....

I get the feeling you have this quit in the bag .....I wish you a happy smoke free life ahead ...

Stick around and throw in a number of two.....

And maybe help a struggling newbie .....

[Boo]

9 hours ago, helmethermit said:

i may seem like i am being over optimistic or jumping the gun. or underestimating the power of addiction. and this quit was born and raised in a controlled and so far away from real life conditions. well, i am not misplaced or overstating anything. and there is no ego, no excitement, no newbie desperation behind the simple truthful outburst - i am a non-smoker now. this is a fact that i i know - done, dusted,buried and even the epitaph is up and running - its over now. for forever.....and a day. 

 

You looked at the cigarettes, said nope, and just walked away from the filthy little things.

 

For some folks, this is a long and needlessly complicated process.  Others, like yourself, are able to just put 'em down and never look back.  Congratulations.

 

Whatever you decide to do in the future, know that you'll always have a seat here on the Quit Train.  We've enjoyed having you here and you can be a great example to those who follow your lead.

[Sazerac]

12 hours ago, helmethermit said:

i feel it has nothing to do with withdrawal symptoms. that is  a myth. there is nothing like physical dependence in the world of smoking. it is just mental dependence. i could be wrong but that is the way i see it now. 

 

However you see it H, partaking of nicotine IS a physical dependence.  It affects many, many parts of the body. This video highlights a few.

You Smoked Because You Are A Smoke-aholic

 

Physically, nicotine is gone from the body in about three days. 

While the psychological impacts often take longer, it is a matter of changing patterns and addressing triggers.

You may have some pop up when freed from the lock-down but, hold fast to your commitment to yourself and you will remain nicotine free forever.

 

I am so pleased you have confidence in your quit.

Many of us were confident in our early quits, some later. Here is a thread, I hope you add your experience.

When Did You Have Confidence In Your Quit ?

 

You are a beautiful nicotine free creature, baby.  Congratulations !

[helmethermit]

4 hours ago, Boo said:

 

You looked at the cigarettes, said nope, and just walked away from the filthy little things.

 

For some folks, this is a long and needlessly complicated process.  Others, like yourself, are able to just put 'em down and never look back.  Congratulations.

 

Whatever you decide to do in the future, know that you'll always have a seat here on the Quit Train.  We've enjoyed having you here and you can be a great example to those who follow your lead.

 

hi boo,

first things first. you write akin to a magician using words that amaze and stun the reader. sazerac was the one who put up the link. thank you for all the inspiration. 

i intend to hang around here for a long, long time and make sure the quit remains buried. there is a wealth of information and inspiration here. i must be honest. the sea-life that got me into this thing in the first place helped me quit too. limited knowledge and simple to the point instruction (whatever happens - it is NOPE) and we sailors follow each little order to the hilt. i mentally was tired maybe and that helped. i do not know what triggered this violent quit wrapped in horrifying aggression. whatever, as long as it ended well - it was justified. maybe my brain is scared of registering craves now or my body has simply given up yearning for i do not remember any feeble crave too all day. i am a non-smoker not because i did not smoke for the last 8 days now maybe but because i believed it when i decided to quit. the rest was put in place by sazerac, doreensfree and the gang. i just followed their instructions. to be honest . a minute into my quit i was a non smoker there on because i had quit mentally which i guess is the key to a quit. too early for such big words i know but it is what it is.  

 

Edited March 29, 2020 by helmethermit

[helmethermit]

4 hours ago, Doreensfree said:

Good for you Sailor !!!!.....

I get the feeling you have this quit in the bag .....I wish you a happy smoke free life ahead ...

Stick around and throw in a number of two.....

And maybe help a struggling newbie .....

 hi gaurdian angel, 

you know - if this were a physical office i would be your office boy, office limo driver for free, lol. i listen to a lot of extreme metal that will cause folks to relapse, lol. so i will not post any of that. but i will post numbers in the correct section for sure. 

help someone - lol. how does a blind guy lead anyone?. next year maybe - too soon to bet on a freak like me. my life has always been extreme, never the slow and steady type. so that reflects in the quit too. 

 

[helmethermit]

27 minutes ago, Sazerac said:

 

However you see it H, partaking of nicotine IS a physical dependence.  It affects many, many parts of the body. This video highlights a few.

You Smoked Because You Are A Smoke-aholic

 

Physically, nicotine is gone from the body in about three days. 

While the psychological impacts often take longer, it is a matter of changing patterns and addressing triggers.

You may have some pop up when freed from the lock-down but, hold fast to your commitment to yourself and you will remain nicotine free forever.

 

I am so pleased you have confidence in your quit.

Many of us were confident in our early quits, some later. Here is a thread, I hope you add your experience.

When Did You Have Confidence In Your Quit ?

 

You are a beautiful nicotine free creature, baby.  Congratulations !

hello captain,

 

in the chronicles of my quit - you are the boss, always will be. 

 

please do not take anything i write seriously - i just lie to my mind and body to keep them fooled. problem is after a while the lie begins to feel like the truth. true, if nicotine was not at all physical most quits would succeed.  

 

i did something stupid, reckless and dangerous a little while back - today. a shout out to my neighbor who was washing his bike. no clouds in the skies i yelled at him and in a minute or two he was at the fence with some 5 cigarettes. i turned james bond when offered a stick and told him i quit, i quit smoking. he was like - stunned initially. then confused. he lit three of them while i gave him tips on the soft tail luggage bags he is looking for. he walked away later perplexed. so the lock-down is in my favor for sure but i am firmly in control. if i could stand in front of this good friend who would lend me ten packets in a ziffy when needed then i am sure i have no urgent reason to yell for help or stand by beside the panic button.   

 

i will not shy away but visit every place, every friend who can in the remotest way possibly make me relapse after the lockdown. act contra i feel is the most dangerous but most effective way to send shivers down the enemy's spine. once you do that the body will surrender along-with your mind. we each have our attack and defense mechanism. 

 

if i am nicotine free - you are the biggest trigger, the biggest reason, the biggest strength and the biggest inspiration. i will now go through the links one by one. thank you for all the things i will never even realize that you did for a faceless me. (like digging up old threads and debating if they would help me and then posting a reply and so much else that i will never know). it is touching because even now you are so touchy about my quit. so concerned and so i do not know - to me - you are like i confessed before - a greek goddess of energy. thank you again.

[helmethermit]

11 hours ago, Angeleek said:

I personally know two people who quit just like that and stayed quit for good on their own. Bon voyage, sailor! and enjoy this new form of freedom! Who knows where it will take you...be well!

 

lol, now you know a third. on a serious note - i hope i do not relapse ever. thank you for the strength. 

[Sazerac]

 

 

 

1 hour ago, helmethermit said:

please do not take anything i write seriously - i just lie to my mind and body to keep them fooled. problem is after a while the lie begins to feel like the truth. true, if nicotine was not at all physical most quits would succeed.  

 

 

The addict (all of us) lies and will continue to lie to resume addiction.  One of the greatest gifts of quitting has been the ability to be starkly honest with ourselves.

We can hear the lies and the wheedles and the whining of the addict and are able to see the truth.

This has affected many facets of my life and enabled a deep trust in myself to emerge.

 

1 hour ago, helmethermit said:

so the lock-down is in my favor for sure but i am firmly in control. if i could stand in front of this good friend who would lend me ten packets in a ziffy when needed then i am sure i have no urgent reason to yell for help or stand by beside the panic button.   

 

This is great.  ^^^^

Some quitters need to stay away from potentially triggering situations and others face them quickly and head on.

I believe the sooner you get on with your life the better, like you speak of below,

 

1 hour ago, helmethermit said:

i will not shy away but visit every place, every friend who can in the remotest way possibly make me relapse after the lockdown. act contra i feel is the most dangerous but most effective way to send shivers down the enemy's spine. once you do that the body will surrender along-with your mind. we each have our attack and defense mechanism. 

 

Triggers are old patterns that don't serve you anymore.  You are a free person.

Nobody can make you relapse. I know You know that.

Relapse will never come from out of the blue, it is a conscious choice to abandon your commitment.

Recognize Red Flags

 

I am so glad you are sharing your quit with us,  H, and look forward to your posts all around QTrain.

It is an pleasure to ferret out information for you.

 

When I am touchy/concerned about your quit it is because I know a lot about how an addict thinks.  I am one.

Beware ! Doreen has the cast iron skillet she brings out for emphasis.  I'll just send you a bazillion links, lol.

[helmethermit]

wow,

i am on fire. i had a very bad day and a good handsome day of loss after quite a while (i am a day trader / stock trader - i thought i had mentioned that but i am not sure) . that is when i noticed a light, almost something that did not feel physical but more of a mental kind of zephyr. soft, very soft, very gentle - the kind that makes you wonder if it did really happen. i do not know but it is always best to consider the worst case scenario. so i pulled up my dark attire and unsheathed my sword. 

 

body and mind: hello master

dark prince (that me folks,lol) : why do i smell signs of a rebellion down here?

body and mind : not me, maybe this guy (both point at each other) lol. (akin to crooks that turn rats in a ziffy, lol)

dark prince : listen good - both you kiddos.  i had a bad day and i am not thinking straight right now. you know what that means - that means you must be on your best behavior and make yourselves invisible to me. go on and play inside and i repeat, do not even get any ideas. i will kick each one of you in front of the other. alright - is that clear.

soul to dark prince: hey prince, let them go. they have not been up to anything i swear. 

dark prince: ok, you two rats. stop shivering now. and disappear now.

and the two scoot away as the prince walks back out of the dungeon. 

soul to dark prince: i swear - you jumped the gun, they did nothing. 

dark prince : its ok, i just acted out of instinct then maybe. better safe than sorry. i have nightmares of the plague and i do not want the darkness to ever come close ever again.

soul to dark prince: come on - its over. stop being so hard on them. i know them well. they are truly on our side now. 

dark prince: must work on my strategy for tomorrow now. take care.  

soul to dark prince: i will. thank you for saving me, for saving and healing us all. i have been meaning to tell you this for sometime now.

 

i do not track how many days it has been. i just have to knock off every potential trigger situation one by one. by these standards - today i have managed to slay a big big dragon.  i stare in the mirror and see traces of a short beardy zzt top (https://www.zztop.com/). (some would know of this band - signature long beards, lol). some 2 years back one day i just decide to stop shaving and i am still letting it grow wild.  

 

managed to sleep like a baby and just woke up. nothing and nobody has the power to hurt me, make me sad and put me down anymore but myself. and i am getting used to falling in love with myself. just the way that mommy nature meant her children to be - full of love

 

Edited March 30, 2020 by helmethermit

[Sazerac]

Real life.  Ups and downs.  Keep your quit separate and protected.

 

Your Quit & Your Life - The Proper Sequence

 

 

Wild times for trading, H ! Hold on to your hat (and your quit).

[Doreensfree]

i do not track how many days it has been. i just have to knock off every potential trigger situation one by one. by these standards - today i have managed to slay a big big dragon.  i stare in the mirror and see traces of a short beardy zzt top (https://www.zztop.com/). (some would know of this band - signature long beards, lol). some 2 years back one day i just decide to stop shaving and i am still letting it grow wild.  

 

Winning your battles....that's how you eventually win your war ...sounds like you were the victor today !!!!

ZZ Top ....great band ...great beards !!!!....

 

 

[helmethermit]

6 hours ago, Doreensfree said:

i do not track how many days it has been. i just have to knock off every potential trigger situation one by one. by these standards - today i have managed to slay a big big dragon.  i stare in the mirror and see traces of a short beardy zzt top (https://www.zztop.com/). (some would know of this band - signature long beards, lol). some 2 years back one day i just decide to stop shaving and i am still letting it grow wild.  

 

Winning your battles....that's how you eventually win your war ...sounds like you were the victor today !!!!

ZZ Top ....great band ...great beards !!!!....

 

 

 

 

true GAD, 

 

btw my beardy is a yeardy now (year long beard) - lol