Acknowledging the addiction

[Irene]

Before I even entertained the thought of quitting, I always looked at drug users or addicts with pity, thinking how lucky I am not to have fallen into that trap.

Ironic huh? Now I have empathy.

 

I'm not a person who bares her soul, wears her heart  on on her sleeve, nor starting a thread about something she doesn't  know much about....lol

I know I'm not the type of person to join a group therapy session on addiction introducing myself and telling my story. Never! Out of the question! Why?

Because my fear of quiting was to acknowledge  my addiction, and in acknowledging  my addiction, made me no different to any addict.

 

10 days into my 1st quit, I read Allen Carr, surfed the net, and found Quittrain...I knew this quit wouldn't last, and that I just needed to find an excuse to have that smoke.

40 odd days into my quit, I found one, feeble as it was, it was the excuse I was looking for. Still lurking on Qtrain, I started to take things more seriously...

4 days and 2 pkts later, I found myself stepping into that group therapy room...Qtrain..a very brave move from this introvert, but a wise one.

 

It will take me a while to accept the thought that I'm always one puff away from renewing my addiction, to start baring my soul a little, opening up, feeling proud

of the quit I am now building, to start enjoying the things I most enjoy without the necessity of have a smoke as well. 

 

One thread stood out for me..Introsucktion..MLMR which I highly recommend to all newbies like me..read twice and still find something useful.

I know for a fact that I will have a wobbly and will be sorely  tempted, and sincerely hope that I have the courage to ask for help.

 

I have made the first step of opening up...now to embrace this frucking quit and start living 

Thanks for listening......you are all very appreciated, I hope you know that

Edited March 14, 2020 by Irene

[Tinkerbell]

That's a great post irene, opening up and acknowledging the addiction is a most important step, taking off the rose tinted sunglasses can be a eureka moment and where the true education and healing can begin

 

Thankyou for posting as you too are helping others by sharing your journey 

 

The rope is continuous, there are people in front of us and behind us the main thing is to just hold on tight

 

Reach out. That's what really saved me in my early days of my quit 

Edited March 14, 2020 by Tinkerbell

[jillar]

I agree, great post irene. One you can read and update often as you progress through the hard first year of quitting.  It's something I did and recommend to every newbie. Not only will it show you just how far you've come but it will enable you to also not forget where you've come from. And it will help everyone coming behind you

[Sazerac]

What a beautiful post, @Irene.

 

Many of your sentiments, I share, many of us share.

 

One is compassion.  With a cigarette dangling from my lips, I disdained junkies. 

After accepting my own nicotine addiction, I now feel terribly sorry for anyone feeding their addiction.

I see people huddled outside, furiously puffing away.  It's tragic to observe.

It used to be me !

 

I am not into group.  At all. I am a quasi-recluse in real life.

I quit smoking and lurked here and there for 10 months,

joining, ostensibly,  just to thank everybody,

stayed for the continued education and the camaraderie and the possibility of helping someone free themselves from Nicotine.

 

I hope you will feel comfortable here.

Your experience can help countless others and we are all delighted you are sharing your quit with us.

Watching the metamorphosis of new quitters is an elixir to everyone.

I am glad you found MLMR's,  Introsucktion, the powerful and poignant document of her nicotine free journey.

 

14 minutes ago, Irene said:

it will take me a while to accept the thought that I'm always one puff away from renewing my addiction,

 

This is what we must etch into our brain.  There is no other way to put addiction to sleep.  There can be no bargaining, ever ! 

You just have to drink the cool-aid on this one...from a bottomless cup of NOPE.

 

You know not to touch a red hot poker ?  You just know it, that's all. 

It will become the same with Not One Puff Ever and you will soon be able to draw power from this commitment.

 

Congratulations on your first 10 days of Freedom.

You Quit Smoking !  How marvleous !

Now, go have some fun.

 

S

 

 

[Irene]

Thanks to all!

did I say embrace the addiction? Seriously?...i meant quit! (sorted)

 

This was necessary in order to move on...I was way to quiet, doing too much thinking which can

get me into trouble

 

Edited March 14, 2020 by Irene

[Sazerac]

An elder here, Sarge,

who is a succinct and a 'tough love'-able sort of fellow, 

encourages quitters to,

 

"Embrace The Suck"

 

I liked his approach, you just have to accept there may be gnarly moments but, nothing that you cannot NOPE your way through.

[Doreensfree]

Great post Irene ...well done on your fabulous quit !!!

I remember feeling shocked to learn I was a addict ...me ....no way ...

I was a woman who just enjoyed a smoke ...whether I was happy ,sad,or just me ...

It took this train to help me understand this crazy addiction...

There is only one rule in quitting..Don't Smoke ....

[Boo]

Taking the blinders off.  Facing some hard truths.  Replacing delusion with reality.  These things can be difficult but they are necessary for any meaningful progress to be made.

 

The process of quitting is an exercise in self examination; some things we kept buried come right to the surface.

[darcy]

Hey Irene,

Thanks for taking the risk to share.

Walking the early days of freedom here, too. 

I am enjoying reading MLMR's Introsucktion thread, as well.     Thanks to Sazerac for dropping it in my immediate "click" space.

Glad you spoke up.  Hope you (me, too) have the courage and sense to reach out, really before, if an s.o.s. event is upon us.

NOPE, NOPE, NOPE

 

 

[Sazerac]

8 hours ago, Irene said:

I know for a fact that I will have a wobbly and will be sorely  tempted, and sincerely hope that I have the courage to ask for help.

 

 

26 minutes ago, darcy said:

Hope you (me, too) have the courage and sense to reach out, really before, if an s.o.s. event is upon us.

 

We have a Pre-Respond To Your Own SOS  thread that has been remarkably important in saving many a quit.

 

Here,  you reiterate the reasons you quit and want to stay quit in your own words.

 

This not only solidifies a quit, it also helps us respond to an SOS,

[Sazerac]

How are you doing @Irene ?

 

Thinking of you and your fabulous 15 day quit.  

[Irene]

Thanks Sazerac....had some hairy moments, but I usually cope by going indoors and opening a book if possible..I would very much like to keep this quit

[Sazerac]

There is no reason you can't keep your quit, Irene. Stay focused.

Keep your commitment to yourself, to your quit.  Draw power from that commitment, see how far you have come.

 

Reward yourself for every crave/trigger conquered, this helps stimulate your endorphins, the mechanism that nicotine gangstered.

 

Things are going to get much easier, your hairy moments will start to be few and far between.

You will realize that you haven't been thinking about smoking or not smoking for longer and longer periods of time.

 

Think of how long you smoked...healing and recovering from all those years and patterns will take thought and time.

You are free now and able to craft your new life, your new life affirming patterns.  Have some fun with that.

 

[Irene]

Was it Mee that mentioned you being a wise woman☺ I have to agree, as your reply is spot on and one that I will revert to in tough times...I have to agree with Darcy about the advice and encouragement received by many here .... it is much appreciated!

[Doreensfree]

Just remember all is temporary......

Be patient ....be kind ....your body is going through some hefty changes ...

Rewards are special....so important....you,ve worked hard for them ...

Nice candles ....it amazing how lovely they smell when your nose wakes up....

[Mac#23]

I just conquered another trigger for now. I was out driving in my jeep for over an hour without any cigarette cravings. Even though I would always smoke in my vehicle while driving. So, I won this time.

[Reciprocity]

I found that once I got past a trigger like that it was no longer an issue for me later on so congrats, another one down!

[Sazerac]

41 minutes ago, Mac#23 said:

I just conquered another trigger for now. I was out driving in my jeep for over an hour without any cigarette cravings. Even though I would always smoke in my vehicle while driving. So, I won this time.

 

23 minutes ago, reciprocity said:

I found that once I got past a trigger like that it was no longer an issue for me later on so congrats, another one down!

 

 

We have body memories of the act of smoking.  I remember reaching for one automatically in my early quit but, I only found air.

There are a lot of these memories and triggers like driving and phone calls and also seasonal ones, summer cook-outs etc.

Smoking used to be a huge part of us.  It had to be to keep the addiction rolling.

 

Every pattern you change you then own.  They won't be associated with cigarettes anymore.  That was a great revelation in the first days for me.

You are doing so well, Mac, it seems you really have an understanding of addiction.  This is so nice to see and ensures a sturdy quit.

[Doreensfree]

Before too long ,you will be doing the things you used to do smoking ..smokefree....

And it will be and feel so natural ...everytime you drive and not smoke ..it brings it nearer ..

[Sazerac]

15 hours ago, Mac#23 said:

I just conquered another trigger for now. I was out driving in my jeep for over an hour without any cigarette cravings. Even though I would always smoke in my vehicle while driving. So, I won this time.

 

 

Everything You Did As A Smoker You Can Do As An Ex-Smoker