Out of nowhere BAM - Serious cravings

[HeatherDianne]

I am writing today because the last 3 days I have been hit with the weirdest triggers and cravings. Nothing new to 1 month plus quitter right? But I wasn't expecting them and I have to admit they shook the ground I stood on - I for a few moments - actually considered smoking! I have really not had this experience this entire quit. I feel like I have been a step ahead the whole quit and clearing my path of triggers and it has been working - then BAM - I go out to feed my dogs and I always wait as our puppy tries to eat our older dog's food. (I used to have a smoke while. they ate) and BAM I was not just having a craving but what an intense through my body to the ground - I WANT A SMOKE. it caught me so off guard I seriously didn't know what to do - thoughts started racing through my brain and I started to have trouble catching my breath. I felt light headed.. I finally just shut my eyes and focused on my breathing until I calmed down... But this was strong... when I came back into the house - I broke down in tears - because I know I am an addict and I am going to have to deal with this kind of thing whenever it happens and it really got me down. 

 

I was in a traffic jam over the weekend and I was between 2 cars and guess what they were both smoking!! Seriously unless I looked straight ahead I was sandwiched between the smokers. I watched one of them take that inhale and exhale for a minutes or two. - My craving subsided but I have to admit - I JEALOUS that they were smoking, I think I am exhausted from the quit, and life and getting through each day as a strong quitter - I am just feeling so tired. I want my freedom - I want this quit - however I am feeling like I am never going to be a relaxed happy quitter. I hope I am wrong. This being my first Christmas as a non smoker - I am making plans to keep my quit at all costs - but I am losing the happiness in it and just feel like it is a never ending cycle - before I quit I focused on when I would be able to smoke - now that I am quit - I try to plan for triggers and cravings - anything to not smoke - but either way I am still focusing on smoking or not smoking each and every day.. It is exhausting. 

[Mee]

HeatherDiane, you are doing great.  Don't let the addiction win.  The more you stand up to these feelings,  the smaller they become.  I think all these negative feelings come to mind so that we can continue to find reason to slowly kill ourselves.  Now that you have rid yourself of nicotine, the next step is to change your thinking.  Don't look at other smokers with envy, look at them with empathy.  Your quit will become stronger every day.  

[Paul723]

It will ease up on you.  Hold your ground!  It was at about the third month when I quit that I noticed I hadn't thought about smoking at all for a whole day.  We have been smoking for a long time, it takes a while for our heads to get right.  Saz likes to say, "Free your head".  For me, I found it best to dismiss smoking thoughts as quickly as possible.

[Sazerac]

You have a young and precious quit going.

Protect it with your life!

 

If you harbor jealousy when seeing people smoke or resentment because you choose not to smoke,

PLEASE take some more time and learn more about nicotine addiction. 

Give yourself rewards for every thought/crave/trigger conquered. 

Check out this thread, Red Flags.

 

You don't smoke !

You need to be completely clear and stalwart in your choice to put your addiction to Sleep.

As time goes by smokey thoughts fade into oblivion but, they do this so subtlety that it is hard to track.

Do not loose hope or your commitment, you are winning.

 

 

[jillar]

Ugh heatherdianne, I so remember feeling just like you do and yes, it is exhausting. But it won't always be like this. You've got great days ahead, you just have to hang tight and get past these miserable ones first. On days like you're having now I used my JAC (jillars air cigarette). I just pretended I was holding a cigarette in my fingers and then went through the motions of "smoking" it. It worked great at tricking my mum nd into thinking it was getting the real thing. I also played a lot of games and did things I normally wouldn't smoke doing. 

You are doing great, so hang in there. Things will get so much better, xoxo

[Vivianne]

Hang in there Heather!! You can do this!

 

[HeatherDianne]

1 hour ago, Sazerac said:

If you harbor jealousy when seeing people smoke or resentment because you choose not to smoke,

 

This was the first time I felt jealousy - other than maybe day 1 or 2. I know it is the Junkie in me that is jealous... I am doing what. I promised to do, come here, eat candy - gain 100 pounds but no smoking.. The last few days have been challenging I cannot deny that I am disappointed that instead of feeling awesome about the holidays and not having to worry about when and where I can smoke. I am actually wishing I could just stay in bed and sleep through the entire holiday. This is very unlike me as I LOVE CHRISTMAS - but right now I just feel like everything is too much. I am hoping I will feel better once my break from work starts. 

 

I will not smoke today - or tomorrow - I know that deep down, I just wish I was more happy about it or at least these more recent feelings will go away. 

[johnny5]

What you are going through us normal.  I know you are going through tough times right now but keep the quit.  Things will get better with time and you will be glad to be smoke free.

[Sazerac]

2 hours ago, HeatherDianne said:

 

I will not smoke today - or tomorrow - I know that deep down, I just wish I was more happy about it or at least these more recent feelings will go away. 

 

 

 

Quitting smoking may trigger all sorts of unfamiliar as well as familiar feelings.

Add this to an emotional time of year and well....you can expect feeling different than usual.

You are a new you !  Once the quit settles down you will grow into your newness with grace and joy.

Do not worry.  Your 'happy' will return.  Be kind with yourself and lavish rewards.

S

[Old Man Coffee]

Here is a thought to be happy about:  In a couple of weeks you will be two months ahead of all those people who are making quitting their New Year's Resolution.

I sometimes feel the same way- jealous of those who are still smoking.  The problem with my previous quit was that I rationalized to myself that if I only smoked a little bit, then I wasn't really a smoker.  Then the little bit became more until I was a full-fledged closet smoker having to invest heavily in mints and febrezze because I told my family that I quit.

It sucks.  This is something we derived pleasure from and we can't do it anymore.  However, do you want to be looking back at December 2019 years from now with regret wishing that you had a time machine to go back and relive right now and stay quit?

Edited December 17, 2019 by Old Man Coffee

[abbynormal]

When you first quit, you are all gung-ho. Each day you remain smoke free feels like an enormous victory in the beginning. (Which it is!) The problem is that the farther you get away from day 1, the more than enthusiasm can wane. Because it's not a shiny, fresh, and new quit. Now it just feels like work. (This is sometimes referred to as No Man's Land.) And the inner junkie is taking this opportunity to start whining extra loudly.

You've gotta ignore that whining! Because believe me, there are many exciting milestones to come. I have been in No Man's Land for a while now, but my excitement is revving up because in 2 short weeks I'll be at my one year anniversary! And I intend to party hardy.

 

Learn to feel happiness in the little moments. Like, I now feel excitement when I finish an entire movie without a smoke break. I feel joy at the fact that I can linger over after-dinner conversation without having to rush outside for a fix. I see others smoking in public, and I feel thrilled with the fact that I am not one of them. I don't have to huddle in the cold and rain, enduring the disdainful looks of nonsmokers as they pass me by. I get to drive in my warm, clean, fresh-smelling car without the windows rolled down in winter.

 

Teach yourself to notice those little moments. I go days (and even full weeks) now without thinking about smoking. That's thrilling stuff! There is joy to be found in being a non-smoker. You just have to reframe your thinking a bit. You'll get there.

[Sazerac]

1 hour ago, Old Man Coffee said:

It sucks.  This is something we derived pleasure from and we can't do it anymore.

 

I need to address this, OMC.

 

The 'pleasure' you speak of was not real. 

It was only feeding the addiction.

The satisfaction was not real. 

It was relieving the crave by feeding the addiction.

 

 

 

 

 

These are the basic tenets of understanding nicotine addiction !

How Nicotine Works

 

 

The  'Pleasure' you speak of was a big fat LIE.

 

Nicotine gangstered the pleasure receptors in our brain.

Claiming them back provides real pleasure and phenomenal personal power.

Nothing sucks about quitting smoking.  Nothing.

 

 

[Boo]

8 hours ago, HeatherDianne said:

BAM I was not just having a craving but what an intense through my body to the ground - I WANT A SMOKE. it caught me so off guard I seriously didn't know what to do - thoughts started racing through my brain and I started to have trouble catching my breath. I felt light headed.. I finally just shut my eyes and focused on my breathing until I calmed down... But this was strong... when I came back into the house - I broke down in tears - because I know I am an addict and I am going to have to deal with this kind of thing whenever it happens and it really got me down. 

 

This may sound crazy now, but there will come a time when you look back and appreciate those moments.  It's easy to carry on with the plan when everything is going well.  Carrying on with the plan when things get tough is going to determine your level of success.  Those moments when you honor your commitment in spite of every emotion and thought pushing you in the opposite direction.  Those moments when you have to be 100% honest with yourself even if you don't like the answers.  Those moments where you are forced to make a critical decision and choose the right choice over the easy choice.  Those are the moments where quits are built.  Those are the moments that will reward you for the rest of your life.

 

Steel is forged by fire.

 

Congratulations Heather.  You faced down your addiction and held firm.  Both you and your quit are stronger as a result.

[forestgreen]

You have answered your own resolve really Heather Dianne..... Just keep looking straight ahead no matter how squashed you feel. 

[garry mhudson]

Congratulations on handling the crave so well. You done good. I had some pretty bad ones around the 3-4 week mark myself. Hang tough and it will get better. You really don`t want to smoke . You will only be angry with yourself if you do. Best wishes.

[MLMR]

Heather, these are the moments that give your quit weight and foundation, they are only stepping stones to a stronger quit. Use them for whatever it is that you want to (un)learn!

 

 

[farmgirl]

I was jealous of smokers for a long time after I quit, wishing I could smoke too.  When the reality finally sunk in that they don't "get" to smoke, but they HAVE to smoke, and if I started again, I wouldn't be choosing to smoke, I'd be compulsed to smoke, the romance died.  And then I felt trapped in my quit for awhile - craving but not giving in - denying myself what it wanted and hating it the whole time.  And THEN, finally, I felt free... THEN I was able to let cravings pass like they were bratty little kids bugging me for candy.  Annoying, yes.  Persistent, sometimes.  But not worth giving in to, because like kids, once you give in, it's really hard to hold back the next time.  And then I didn't feel like I was white knuckling life anymore.  Cravings were, and still are, just like passing intrusive thoughts... when they come, my brain now naturally responds with thoughts of how thankful I am I don't smoke.  The image of me buying a pack makes my heart sink.  The idea of bumming one and lighting up makes me feel a little pukey, knowing how gross that first cigarette really is after a long quit.

 

You won't have to deal with tough cravings like that forever.  Holding on to your quit, as much as it feels like a roller coaster, is really the practice of quitting, and every single cigarette you don't smoke is making you stronger in your quit.  Your practice is going really well.

[Rick92]

Your story of holding ground in the face of so many craving temptations gives me both inspiration and hope as a new quitter. 

I appreciate you sharing that story, and when intense cravings come at me I'll remember it.

Keep it up! 

 

[Sazerac]

23 minutes ago, Rick92 said:

Your story of holding ground in the face of so many craving temptations gives me both inspiration and hope as a new quitter. 

I appreciate you sharing that story, and when intense cravings come at me I'll remember it.

Keep it up! 

 

 

As our friend, Sirius, writes;

 "The next time a craving plunks down on your face ask yourself, "What price you are willing to pay to own yourself?"

[Sunshine59]

In the beginning , i used to think about my nicotine addiction as a heroin addiction

Like the things you see on TV , Heroin addicts going through a lot of pain and all .

 

That way i could take this nicotine addiction a lot more seriously .

 

It was easy to fight it then with that sort of mentality

 

 

[JB 883]

Addictions never completely go away but it does get easier. NOT in a linear fashion, there will be tough times, sometimes even after months or years. Overall easier though. Just be ready to fight like hell so you do not lose a battle like some of us have.

 

Let me tell you what happens if you decide to pick the smoking habit back up, I know this from experience. I did so after having quit for over a year.

 

First, you give in and buy a pack and feel something isn't right.

Next, you light up and toke the cancer stick as if you never did quit, unlike the first one you ever smoked in your life when your lungs flinched.

You get this weird "high" from it, meanwhile feeling tons of guilt. You pledge to never smoke another.  This cycle repeats several times.

 

In about a week or two, you realize the old habit is back. Meanwhile, you notice you have less money than you normally did as a quitter. The smell of your habit starts offending you. And by now, that little buzz you got at first just doesn't happen anymore.

 

After a couple months, the "Dry cough" comes back. Sometimes when trying to sleep, you have to cough a certain way so your breath doesn't wheeze. You start to hope that certain people don't learn of your relapse.

 

Let us not forget the extra filth involved. Cigarette ash and butts, empty packs, having to buy lighters/matches, and of course the ever-present worry about the possible fire hazard.

 

You start to eventually think, "What if this does shorten my life?" If you are over 40 like I am, it is not a pleasant thought when you realize you are probably more than 1/2 way to the grave and do you really want to speed it up any more?

 

Honestly, even though a quitter THINKS there will be some awesome feeling of smoking, it really doesn't do anything good. Where is that "pleasure"? There just isn't any.

Then you have to fight like hell to quit again. Or like Johnny 5's signature - "If you have just one you will be right back where you started, and where you started was desperately wishing you were where you are right now."

 

Do not come back to this side of the habit. It sucks, it plain sucks. You are not missing anything, I promise.