Breaking up is hard to do.....

[Control Freak]

Hi all!  I'm happy to be here and finally to the point where I'm ready to quit. 

 

A little background on me....I started smoking in college and continued smoking until after I got married and decided to start a family.  We had 2 beautiful children and a few years ago we both started smoking again.  Then came the worse year of my life.  In late 2017 my husband told me he wanted a divorce after 15 years of marriage and my mom, my best friend, was diagnosed with stage IV gastric cancer.  I was devastated, overwhelmed, all of the above!  My mom passed July 2018 and my divorce was finalized on the same day she passed.  So there I was....I had lost my best friend and now had to face the reality that I was a working single mom of 2 little ones, trying to care for them, my dad and myself. 

 

I've grown a lot in this past year.  I've ridden the grieving train....hell, I drove it....and still am.  Life isn't easy, but it's getting easier and I'm finally starting to plan a future.  I've quit a couple times over this past year...my longest was about 2 weeks.  I'm finally to the point where I'm short of breath, I've got a terrible cough and it's just not enjoyable to me anymore.  I'm ready to have "the talk" with my habit and break up with it so i can move on to a healthier place in my life.  So I'm hoping I can get the support I need here to get this done!! 

[abbynormal]

Welcome, @Control Freak!!! Glad to have you aboard the Train. It sounds like you are ready to put this nasty habit behind you. Good for you!

 

13 minutes ago, Control Freak said:

I'm finally to the point where I'm short of breath, I've got a terrible cough and it's just not enjoyable to me anymore.

 

Was smoking ever REALLY enjoyable? One of the keys to my success in my quit has been to remind myself that smoking was never really something I enjoyed. Not really. Remember that first one--the burning sensation in your throat, the acrid smell of the smoke, the cough following that first hit? I still remember it. Why did I continue to smoke? It wasn't because I enjoyed it. It was because the nicotine receptors in my brain woke up after my FIRST puff, and I immediately began craving for more. I was hooked from the start.

 

Smoking wasn't something I enjoyed. When I really think about it, it was something I hated.  I hated having to hide my habit from my loved ones. I hated the smell that permeated my clothes, my skin, my hair, my car. I hated cleaning foul, dirty ashtrays. I hated spending money only to watch it burn up. I hated the fear that each cigarette brought me a little closer to death. I hated huddling on the porch in the rain and cold, trying to stay dry while puffing away like a fiend.

 

So where does that sense of "enjoyment" come from? Because I thought for years that smoking was something I enjoyed. That's why I gave up quits in the past. I thought I was missing out on something. But the more I learned about nicotine addiction, the more I began to realize the truth: smoking was something I did to fill a craving. That's it. That sense of "enjoyment" was actually the addict's relief at getting another fix.

 

Ok, so maybe I enjoyed the lovely fall mornings spent on my porch with a cup of coffee. Guess what? I can still enjoy those. I can even breathe in that fresh, clean air while I enjoy them. Because now I'm truly enjoying them. I'm not simply satisfying a need. A need I created when I took that first puff. (Isn't that sad?)

 

Attitude is everything in a successful quit. It sounds like you have the will and determination to free yourself from the chains of addiction. Now change your thoughts about the habit itself. That will save you down the road. Trust me.

 

I'm here to help! Don't hesitate to reach out anytime. I know what it is to go through some really hard times. (I'm in the midst of several life crises at the moment, myself.) But quitting IS possible, even during tough times. I'll do whatever I can to help you!

[jillar]

Welcome aboard our train full of quitters control freak and congratulations on deciding to take back your life. I'm sorry about your tough 2018, that's a lot to have to go through I'm glad life is beginning to get easier for you and quitting smoking will make life even easier.

You will find as much support as you need or want here and I'm convinced that without the support of my fellow quitters I would not have succeeded.

We have lots to do here from educating yourself about our addiction to distracting your mind from the craves so be sure to check out all our various forums. It's great to have you here

[Sazerac]

Welcome, ControlFreak !  

You've had some horrible times of late and

now, is exactly the right time for you to do a GREAT thing for YOURSELF.

Time to take back control !

 

You may find this thread helpful,

10 Ways To Effectively Use This Forum To Help Yourself Quit Smoking

 

 

[Doreensfree]

Welcome aboard...

I am sorry for your losses.....

Quitting is the one best gift you can give yourself....your life back ...

Please read all you can here ,there is so much great information....great video's to watch ...

Knowledge is power ....

Quitting with friends makes it so much easier ...we have all been where you are ...

We all took the pledge ...to Never Take Another Puff....

 

[Boo]

Welcome aboard Control Freak.  You've made a great decision for yourself.

 

1 hour ago, Control Freak said:

I'm ready to have "the talk" with my habit and break up with it so i can move on to a healthier place in my life.

 

Good riddance to bad rubbish. 

 

Quitting smoking will provide you many benefits that will not only accrue with time, but also have a ripple effect that will positively benefit many other areas of your life.

 

Strength begets strength.  Confidence begets confidence.

 

Embrace the process and enjoy the ride.

[Mee]

Welcome Control Freak.  I am so glad you found us and are ready to quit.  I am so sorry you have been having to navigate such heartbreaking and difficult situations.  Sometimes our lives feel like they are so out of control.  Quitting smoking will give you some of that power and control back.  

Be sure and read and educate yourself on your addiction and stay close to the forum.  Shout out as you need us.  We are here for you.  

[Sazerac]

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do ? @Control Freak ?

 

Check this out,

 

My Cigarette, My Friend

 

 

 

 

Edited November 6, 2019 by Sazerac

[johnny5]

Welcome to QuitTrain, Control Freak.  I'm really sorry about the rough times you are going through but I am glad you have decided to quit smoking.

 

A lot of great advice has already been given so I'll just add....

 

...I really like your name.  If you like being in control, you will find quitting smoking very rewarding in the long term.  As smokers, we were all slaves to feeding the nicotine addiction.  Breaking free of that addiction means gaining large control of your life back.  One of the huge benefits to quitting smoking is not having your life focused on getting your next nic fix.  That new-found freedom and control is wonderful.

 

Welcome aboard.  It is good to have you here.

[Vivianne]

Welcome aboard Controlfreak! Everything that needed to be said has been said. Sorry for your losses... that's just aweful. 

Get rid of the poison sooner than later, buckle up and give yourself the gift if freedom. You can do it too! 

[HeatherDianne]

Welcome and congrats on making the decision to quit. I am only a week in and it has had a lot of ups and downs, but I come here to read when I have cravings and just take it one day - sometimes one hour at time and they start to add up.  Keep reading and posting.