Quitting...again

[Pippa]

Trish - how are you going ??

[Colleen]

Trish,

It's day 3...How are you?  Stay active here Trish, after NOPE, it's your best defense against the Nico-monster.  We can help you kick his butt!

 

 

[Trish]

Day 3 now.  Crazy dreams last night.  Like nightmares.  Hubby is off work today....not sure if that's a good thing for today or not.  :huh:

Thanks everyone for checking in on me.  Your support means so much!  Day 3 here I come.

[El Bandito]

Keep on keeping on Trish!

[Still winning]

Hey trish, hope day 3 is going ok.  Think it would b nice to have some company :)

 

Saw your comment re no mans land. And at the risk of sounding paranoid, wondered if my posts had worried you? I want to add some perspective from my thoughts if that's ok. What I faced two days ago, is nothing like I faced in hell week. You've been this far, all you need is the mindset. I will keep on because I won't do this again - honest to god the amount of craves this mindset helps me through is UNREAL! I think it's ok to be aware that life won't be rosy but know this - some days I wobble, I mean emotionally - but I know I won't smoke, I don't want to smoke you see, so I will face whatever. You will get to the same place for sure but it's a right of passage, nothing to be fearful of. We do it, we grow both as quitters and as people and it's honestly ok. Today I feel fabulous! Two days ago I could of killed lol, but some of that is life hun and we group it altogether with smoking. 

 

You will be ok if you just trust that you will be ok. Day to day, just don't smoke, it's that simple and that hard...but it's not painful and it will make life better. 

 

xxx

[Trish]

Thanks, Marti.  Day 3 is going...well as day 3 goes I guess.  It sucks right now !  I am shaking right now but you're right..I'm not dying.   :)  And No Mans Land...no not just your posts these past few days.  I've seen similar posts from other people who were at about the same point you are over the last few months.  

 

It's my junkie brain telling me what's the point in putting yourself thru this again?  You're just going to fail again.  Even if you make it further than you did before, you won't make it through No Mans Land so what's the point?  I need to learn to shut that voice up.

 

Right now I am angry that I can't make my printer work...and this website will not display correctly in chrome on my laptop.  I could use IE or Mozilla but I'm not.  I'm just letting it make me mad and typing on my kindle...which I also hate to do.  Think I am going to go get some work done outside.  (Tried that earlier and the wind made me angry)  :)

[JackiMac]

Hi Trish fantastic to see you reach day three, its going to suck, your junkie brain is desperate for you to light up, remember everything you are going through and feeling is normal, each hour from day to day can feel different, but it does ease off, the rage and frustration eases away, the dreams ohh I remember the dreams lol, just remember waking up and feeling so relieved that they were dreams and I hadnt just smoked 40 cigarettes one after the other!!  Committ to your quit one hour at a time if you have too keep your mind busy, do whatever it takes to get through, you will survive and you will succeed if you follow one simple word NOPE, thats all it takes Trish NOPE, some quitters find their quits easy and some of us find it harder, but you get through it the best you can, we all have the same goal and that is to stay quit whatever it takes.  We are all here for you Trish and will support you as much as you need, I wouldnt have made it this far without all the wonderful people and amazing support I have received here. xx

[Melody]

YOur doing great hun!! Day three in my book is a pretty big milestone!

[El Bandito]

Morning Fluffy Leg!

 

Day 4 - Over the hump now. How are you doing today my beautiful non smoker in Texas friend?

[Still winning]

Pleased you made it through trish.  The mood swings are vaguely like some crazy pmt hey, I think you're doing fab!!

 

This is how my clearer, yet highly emotional mind sees no mans land now. I struggled to learn maths at school, it made no sense, I was massively frustrated, the numbers seemed to do their own thing and traumatise many double lessons a week, I saw no point to going through this and learning it.  Years later I realized, trig was never needed but it was about learning patterns and rules and also I used numbers in a job for years lol.Turns out it was just a learning phase that made me into a more rounded person you see :) Phases of smoking feel the same, almost like rites of passage sometimes. 

 

One day at a time for now, if you look after today, tomorrow can be looked after when it is the right time. xx

[MarylandQuitter]

Remember what helped you before, lollipops.  Do you have any at the ready?  Welcome day 4!

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2XzFNLJIpUQ

[Trish]

I do!

[Trish]

So everyone knows I am the Queen of relapsing.  Maybe I should change my name.  But that last couple of times I have quit, I have felt fear of failure because of my history but I have also felt extremely happy.  Happy that I was quit, even through the first couple of craves.  How come I can't make that happy feeling last?  How come it seems to disappear?

[Nancy]

Trish, I doubt that you were happy all the time as a smoker...and you won't be happy all the time as a non-smoker.  Sometimes you will be happy and proud because you are winning, and other times you will be tired of trying, and the whole thing seems a pain in the ass.  Just commit to Not One Puff Ever, regardless of happy, sad, mad, whatever.  You can do this!!

[Paul723]

You are afraid of success.  You fear change even though your rational mind knows it is the best thing that could happen to you.  The nicotine addiction is in a primitive part of your brain and plays with your emotions to get nicotine; you must overrule your emotions and say "NOPE".  A lot of people have quit and they are not different than you, you can do this.

[MarylandQuitter]

So everyone knows I am the Queen of relapsing.  Maybe I should change my name.  But that last couple of times I have quit, I have felt fear of failure because of my history but I have also felt extremely happy.  Happy that I was quit, even through the first couple of craves.  How come I can't make that happy feeling last?  How come it seems to disappear?

 

You say that you're the queen of relapsing but there are others who've relapsed many more times than you have and are now enjoying long quits.  The only quit that matters is the present one.  The rest have no influence on this quit.

 

Our emotions aren't always indicative of the truth.  Are you happy when you've relapsed and are afraid to quit again?  You're happy when you've made the decision to quit and put out your last cigarette and then that happiness fades.  So what?  Quitting smoking isn't about making making us feel all warm and fuzzy - it's about saving our lives come hell or high water.  It's about keeping our quits as we navigate through our ever-changing lives and not smoking for this day only, no matter what obstacles or challenges that may come our way.

 

As your quit ages, you'll become comfortable in your new life of not being a slave to nicotine.  Right now you most likely associate smoking with your coping mechanism to experience life.  Smoking is your back-up plan but as you put another day in the books as a non-smoker, you will have learned new ways to cope without smoking.  You may not be aware of this each day, but once you reach longer periods of being quit, you'll be a happy non-smoker because of this.  You won't always be happy (who is?) but you will always be happy that you're not a smoker. 

 

Get through today and deal with tomorrow when it comes.  Hang in there and keep this quit.  :yes:

[beacon]

I know that when I first quit, i had feelings of true joy in between the craves. I was so amazed and thankful that I had actually quit after 30 years of doing nothing about a nasty habit. Now these highs have stopped but I am still happy that I quit. Sure I have thoughts and junkie thinking. But I know that I had to quit some time if I did not wish to live an increasingly unhealthy life with endless visits to the drs and an early death. So I guess I am just me before and after my quit as far as feelings. I am just happy to have achieved a very important goal.

[Evelyn]

You say that you're the queen of relapsing but there are others who've relapsed many more times than you have and are now enjoying long quits.  The only quit that matters is the present one.  The rest have no influence on this quit.

 

Our emotions aren't always indicative of the truth.  Are you happy when you've relapsed and are afraid to quit again?  You're happy when you've made the decision to quit and put out your last cigarette and then that happiness fades.  So what?  Quitting smoking isn't about making making us feel all warm and fuzzy - it's about saving our lives come hell or high water.  It's about keeping our quits as we navigate through our ever-changing lives and not smoking for this day only, no matter what obstacles or challenges that may come our way.

 

As your quit ages, you'll become comfortable in your new life of not being a slave to nicotine.  Right now you most likely associate smoking with your coping mechanism to experience life.  Smoking is your back-up plan but as you put another day in the books as a non-smoker, you will have learned new ways to cope without smoking.  You may not be aware of this each day, but once you reach longer periods of being quit, you'll be a happy non-smoker because of this.  You won't always be happy (who is?) but you will always be happy that you're not a smoker. 

 

Get through today and deal with tomorrow when it comes.  Hang in there and keep this quit.  :yes:

 

 

I've relapsed for 5 years :(

[Trish]

Day 5...busy morning.  Took girls to school, started laundry, folded laundry, watered plants/gardens.  Now weedeating.  Yucky...

[MarylandQuitter]

Day 5...busy morning.  Took girls to school, started laundry, folded laundry, watered plants/gardens.  Now weedeating.  Yucky...

 

Yard work for me is relaxing.  Cheap form of therapy (until I see the bills from bushes and such). lol

 

Congrats on the start of day 5.  Just for today, don't smoke.  There is nothing in this world worthy for you to give up your quit.  Did you post in today's NOPE pledge?

[Trish]

I like gardening...hate weedeating and mowing.  Gives me a headache every time.

[jimmy]

trish hang in there and weeds taste nasty lol so no more eat them ok just nkidding to get you to smile you can do this   we are here to help  Texan to Texan  we can do this together :D :D 

[MarylandQuitter]

Better take Jimmy up on that.  I take it as he's offering to do your weeding and mowing for you.   Hey, that's how I took it. haahahaha :this:

[Trish]

Sounds to me!

[Still winning]

Some of us Trish (*cough* includes me) learn from relapses! I would not have this quit, if I hadn't failed other quits. I stood one day and said I can't do this again - you can do that too! No matter what we hang on this time because we are just damn right tired of quitting. And we educate and yada yada :)

 

Congrats on day 5. x