My head is upside down.

[...]

I had the most amazing weekend.  I spent time working with my trainer, went bike riding with my son and his 2 best friends, built a swing that I broke by ramming it into the side of the house 5 minutes after we completed it.  No urge to smoke.

 

And now for the last 2-3 hours, I am fighting every urge to go buy a pack of cigarettes and smoke tonight.  Quit again later..... that's what I keep saying to myself.  I have read, taken 2 showers and just can't seem to shake this.  It's like I can't catch my breath.  I decided to suck on some Nicotine lozenges.  Not sure if that was a mistake or not but I am can't seem to get enough of them. 

 

Why is this happening now ?  I just want to cry but can't.  I feel very uneasy. 

[BAT]

Hey Tiff, your just suffering from a full body crave. Don't worry it will just all of a sudden turn itself off like a light switch. Trust me. Keep surfing the net looking at anti smoking stuff and it will stop. I promise. Go look at smokers lung photo's. That's always a good crave killer.

[tommy]

Hang it there and fight back!  There is the only way to win it.  

[El Bandito]

Hey Tiff

 

Rough one. same drill as a the beginning. Deep breaths, sip some water. Talk to the craving. Laugh at it.

 

The craving is there - but you do not have to listen to it. It will go away again.

[Still winning]

Has it gone for you now sweetie?  I have no idea what you do tbh, I just kept posting on anything and everything when I felt like that. Blogs, posts, reading whyquit.com.  I hated that the occasional ones lasted for ages and made me cry...but if you face these tough ones down it makes you trust that you will hold on every crave - that in itself starts to weaken their hold on you I think. It's ok to feel rubbish, it's not ok to smoke, it will pass I promise you and when it does you will be so relieved you held firm. x

[action]

Hey Tiff, I assume you went to sleep shortly after you posted this? Hopefully you were able to sleep it off. You have been such a breath of fresh air on these boards, and it sucks that you are having a hard time! At times like these, I always try to remember that 'tomorrow will be better'.

 

Please check in and let us know how you are doing when you can...!

[Doreensfree]

Aw tiff....come on sweetheart.....you can so do this......

It the addiction trying to suck to in.....have non of it my dear.....

You know deep down you don't want to smoke.....it stinks......

Go to bed,get up,,,,fresh new day,and tell your little man ,how proud you are to be a non smoker.....

And give him a nice fresh hug.....

Love ya

Doreen

[Pippa]

Hey Tiff - how are you doing ?

 

Just checked the board and saw your post - so sorry you were feeling bad and sending positive vibes that things are now on the up !

[Evelyn]

Hold on, you dragged me kicken and screaming now I do the same for you!!!!

 

Do NOT light that cig!!!

 

You can get through... You said so to me.... It will ease!

[sherry]

morn'n Tiff, i'm sorry you had a bad time of it, an i sure hope you're feelin' better now hon...{{HUG}}

 

i don't know what "it" really is... but for me it's as if the crave decided it was gonna save up all it's strength an just beat the crap out of me- for what seems like  hours at a time(really isn't that long just seems like it)...and here's what i've figured out .... the crave (we know at this point can't be physical) it's in our head now... and after fighting so hard in the beginning, then it getting easier... we kind of let our guard down a bit...the addiction "play's 'possum" and then after a bit.. the additive part of our brain says "they think i'm gone, but if i push really hard right NOW i can get that high i used to get- i just have to push hard"...... you/we have to push hard right back....

 

it's almost as if the addiction is in some kind of death through's... i know that might sound weird,but it's how i see it...how many more death through's "it" will have- i don't know ... but we have to know, for every time it comes at us "out of no where- full force-omg when will it let up"..it's close to death....now is NOT the time to give up.. NOW is the time to stand our ground

 

"it" will die, if we don't give up our fight.... let us know how you are today, we're here for you sweetie.

[babs609]

Hi tiff. I was not around when you posted and I really hope you didn't smoke.

I am concerned about the nicotine lozenges though.

Ok...so they are much better than smoking and they may have prevented you from smoking this time. However if in 2 weeks you go thru the same thing....then what? More lozenges? Then, again a few weeks later? This pattern only reinforces to you that something is missing and it's the nicotine, and it's not. It only keeps you in the cycle

 

The restlessness you feel is real....but the idea that its cigarettes that you need is what you are telling yourself. It's a lie.

[MarylandQuitter]

Tiffany,

 

You felt very uneasy and had a very strong crave to smoke a cigarette and posted an SOS.  Perfect! 

 

I hope you waited until that feeling passed because they always do.  It's morning now so I'll wait until you updated us before I respond.

[Soberjulie]

Awwww I was away when you posted this Tiff.

I hope you hung in there and let it pass.

[...]

Hey y'all, thank you for listening to me.  I went to bed shortly after writing that and watched tv until I fell asleep.  I havent' smoked.  Nor will I.  I am not sure why it has hit me like this but I am hoping I didn't screw things up with the lozenges.  Babs, what your saying makes sense.   I didn't think about it like that.  I just knew if I didn't get one or twenty, I was going to be driving to the store. But oddly enough, I kept thinking about Amy.  I didn't want to let her down.  lol

 

Just yesterday, I was thinking how much I love my non smoking life.  I was telling Wesley how I could breathe, there was an incident with the bike and i got really scared something was wrong but it turns out it's just a bent rim, and I was telling him how I couldn't wait until I can get through those days and not be afraid that I have done irreversible damage to myself.  I can ride around in the car with ALL the windows up. 

 

And then last night, it just kinda body slammed me.  I'm not going to smoke....... I guess I'm just not in a really good place right now.  I keep thinking I picked the wrong time to quit.  But the "right" time never comes.  So I'm gonna hang on and just throw myself into work.   This will pass.

[Fay]

Tiff, so glad to hear this morning you did not smoke!  Glad you posted the SOS also!  Those times will pass - just have to wait them out and NOPE!!!

[Trish]

Tiff...glad to here you still have your quit.  That is so awesome.  You did great.  Sorry I missed your post last night.  I am glad to see you are feeling a bit better today. 

[JackiMac]

Hi Tiff sorry to have missed your SOS but great to see so many coming to help, and so glad to see you didn't smoke, the craves are horrendous when they hit I can remember my last really hard crave and you do feel like screaming, but sometimes just sitting down and telling yourself calmly its just a thought, do not feed it, entertain it or give it credit in any way and it will go away, its only when you allow it room to grow that it will increase in strength, you did great xx

[Holski]

Oh Tiff, I'm so glad you didn't smoke!

(((Tiffany)))

 

Good job, woman!!

:)

[Tink]

hi Tiff how are you - well done for yesterday - when times are low they are very low all we can do hun is weather the storm - you did great even if you feel like crap - this is ok to feel like this although not good

 

you can do this Tiff your time is now xxx

[...]

Thank y'all so much.  I have to say to Babs, you were so right.  I only made the cravings worse by doing the nicotine lozenges.  Although I didn't smoke, I have, definitely, taken a step backwards.  I fed the monkey. I feel like I poisoned myself all over again.  The lozenges are going to have to be thrown away.  I can do this without any crutch.   

 

I hate cigarettes.  I hate what they have done to us.  And it breaks my heart to see so many people relapsing.  But I do get it.  I went from being so happy not smoking to all I could think about was smoking.  In a just a matter of hours.   

 

I will get back to my happy place again.  Just gotta work through my disappointment in myself.  And please don't say I shouldn't be disappointed.  I need to feel this.  This is what is gonna help me next time this happens.  IF it happens. 

 

And if it does, I will be right back here posting a SOS. 

[Tink]

nobody is a harder judge then ourselves tiff - you certainly can use your experience as a tool for yourself - but also remember to praise yourself too - you were brave and got back on the horse - credit where credit is due xx

[JackiMac]

Tiffany you do whatever it takes to keep you off the cigarettes and away from thinking about them, if it means, hanging upside down putting your feet in your ears! then do it, we all beat ourselves up and sometimes it whats we need, but please don't be too hard on yourself, you did well, you recognised what was happening you acted on it, you realised the lozenges were no good and you acted on it, well done, be proud of your quit and be proud of you sometimes it can be a good feeling to feel proud (even if its just a little) xx

[Evelyn]

I'm glad you pulled through, and so you used a few lozenges, BUT you didn't smoke. Sorry taking the lozenges  is making it more difficult. I'll make that a reminder for me. 

 

BUT

 

You pulled through

[El Bandito]

Good work Tiff.

 

Don't let the lozenges get into your head. You have quit. You are quit.

 

You had some nicotine - so did I the other day (second hand) hanging out with some people smoking. Neither you nor I is hooked again. 

 

Throw 'em away and keep marching. Every crave defeated makes you stronger.