What to do when people undermine my quit?

[jillar]

Love,love,love this advice for ankush @notsmokinjo. Thank you, xoxo

Edited July 25, 2019 by jillar

[Ankush]

@Boo Thank you very much, I will keep marching forward

[Ankush]

@notsmokinjo Thank you for the replies. Mental health medication is terrible, 10 years on them, and I hate it. They come with their own side effects and can play havoc with physical well being. I have a problem with insomnia and disturbed sleep wake cycles, the latter has been sorted out thankfully. Insomnia, not so much. As far as my mom goes, to be fair, sometimes she does tell me don't smoke (when I'm upset), at other times she tells me I have a sick mind and demeans me. That's how she plays with my head, she doesn't realize it which is all the more annoying. I've told her I'm her son and to treat me like that, I've gone as far as being extremely blunt and saying I'm not her b***h. Smoking isn't the only thing she picks on, its several things on a day to day basis and this has been going on for several years, always asking questions indirectly, speaking for me and assuming my silence as agreeing with what she said, trying to put words in my mouth, and even manipulating me into thinking I had said something when I didn't and making me look like a crazy person. The worst part is even other members of the family have done this, and friends have too, and so many unknown morons where I come from have as well. I get mad, and she says I have no control over my temper and I need medicine, and has put me on it for 10+ years now.

@Doreensfree Thank you for your support

@Sazerac Thank you for the video

Edited July 25, 2019 by Ankush

[JB 883]

No matter what one does or wants to do, good or bad, SOMEone will undermine it. Even if it is just something you take pride in, someone will want to put it down.

Maybe "Oh you cannot/will not" or there are the one-ups men. Like if you are good at a sport but they know someone who is 10 times better at it.

 

Now I almost hate to give this advice but if you do relapse, start asking those same people for cigarettes or money to buy packs. I promise they will then encourage you to quit or stay quit.

Shoot, maybe ask for cigarette money even if you do not relapse (but spend the money wisely like ebay stuff). They will stop undermining your quit.

 

EDIT - hey I forgot,  - The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person who is doing it.

So ankush, next time they start flapping their lip, just say, "Hang on, I am on my not-smoking break"

 

 

 

Edited August 9, 2019 by JB 883

[Ankush]

1 hour ago, JB 883 said:

So ankush, next time they start flapping their lip, just say, "Hang on, I am on my not-smoking break"

@JB 883 Thank you for your advice. The last line ^^ was funny.

[QuitterBug]

Wow I am seeing a lot if ex smokers here that have had at least one terribly negative parent..just like me...I wonder if there is a link there...