Fear

[MichelleDoesntSmokeAnymore]

How do you cope with the fear that you've done harm to your body and might still develop a fatal smoking related disease? Dealing with this now. Its what has me quitting this time around, my sticky quit, but it still keeps me up at night sometimes.

[Mee]

Michelle, I am sure we all have that concern.  I actually smoked through breast cancer and radiation.  That shows the depths of this addiction.  

Once you quit, there is such a relief.  I try to concentrate on how the body is healing.  I no longer carry the shame of knowing what smoking is doing to me but continuing to do it.

You will find that your fear will ease once you quit.  

[MichelleDoesntSmokeAnymore]

Thank you Linda. I hope it does. I wish I'd never read that it takes 10-15 years of being quit before your risk of cancer returns to that of someone who never smoked. I used that for so many years to say "well I'm already $(#-ed so I might as well not even try" but I'm not doing that anymore because the 10-15 years are going to pass anyway, right? So what am I going to do with them? Continue to smoke and possibly die as a result of it, or begin to heal?

 

Still, it keeps me up at night. I will have faith that it will get easier to not stew in it.  Thank you!

[jillar]

I smoked for 35 years so I understand your concerns. I always recommend going to get a check up to ease your worries. And as an added perk you'll get all kinds of kudos from the Dr and staff once you tell them you've quit.

I wouldn't waste energy on worrying about the damage done as now that you've quit your body is going to work hard at trying to fix all the damage smoking did and as long as you stay quit you won't be causing any more damage. So listen to your body. If it's craving sweets, have a sweet. Tired, rest. Etc... 

Edited July 11, 2019 by jillar

[MichelleDoesntSmokeAnymore]

Thanks. My doctor is the ones who gave me the NRTs. I have a physical scheduled for Monday and I can't wait to tell her I haven't smoked! I'm fairly certain I'm okay right now, its future stuff I worry about and how long I've shaved off my life expectency.  But look at us now...we are reversing the damage (hopefully) and adding years back onto our lives (hopefully). Even if not, our quality of life will be better.

[Sazerac]

4 hours ago, MichelleDoesntSmokeAnymore said:

How do you cope with the fear that you've done harm to your body and might still develop a fatal smoking related disease? Dealing with this now. Its what has me quitting this time around, my sticky quit, but it still keeps me up at night sometimes.

 

All we can do is accept the past and instigate change NOW.

 

I may still die of smoking related complications but, I will not die as a slave to nicotine.

I will die as a free person.

 

So, not only the quality of my life has improved by quitting smoking  

but, the quality of my death will be enriched.

I won't be insane with anxiety on my deathbed needing a hit of nicotine.

I will, hopefully, be able to be present and leave the world peacefully.

[Reciprocity]

My mother smoked for about 25 years then quit. She's turning 99 this November and still kicking. So it is possible to dodge the bullet so to speak. Was she just lucky? Maybe but she quit because she didn't want to die from smoking related disease and it's worked out for her.

 

We can't undo our past deeds but we can take positive steps to shape our future. Worrying about what might be is just a waste of precious time. Focus your mind on the positive thing you are doing for yourself by quitting, Now that's something to celebrate!

[Boo]

17 hours ago, MichelleDoesntSmokeAnymore said:

How do you cope with the fear that you've done harm to your body and might still develop a fatal smoking related disease? Dealing with this now. Its what has me quitting this time around, my sticky quit, but it still keeps me up at night sometimes.

 

I don't want this to seem flippant, your question is a legitimate one.

 

However, what's done is done.  We abused our bodies with cigarettes for most of our adult lives; there's no way to unring that bell.

 

Quitting smoking right now and vowing to make better decisions is no guarantee that our past mistakes won't bite us on the ass, but it improves our odds.

 

History is what it is.  The future is largely unknowable.  Makes sense to focus on the present.