Feeling Down

[Lilly]

I've been feeling really down and all I want to do is go and buy some cigarettes. 

 

From Day 1 I have heard nothing but people criticise my quit because I'm using NRT. I had the guy at work who really brought me down telling me constantly how I hadn't really quit and it has just been brought up ever since. 

 

My sense of pride was enormous and I've tried hard to ignore the negative comments but it has had an effect.

 

My brain is telling me just smoke - you haven't really quit anyway.  What does it matter if you smoke - you're a fake quitter really. 

 

 

[jillar]

Lilly, you have quit! Be proud of that and DO NOT let anyone tell you otherwise!!! I've said it before and I'll say it again, there's nothing wrong with using NRT's.

Good on you for posting, shows you really dont want to lose your quit, be proud of yourself 

[Lilly]

Thanks Jillar. 

 

I'm not sure tslking about this was a great idea to be honest. I appreciate you trying to help me though. 

 

I'm going to go to bed x

[jillar]

Going to bed is a good idea and I think talking about it and getting it off your chest is the best thing to do. You did good Lilly, have a nice night

[Soberjulie]

Your brain is taking those few comments and magnifying them to lure you into smoking. 

Don’t give people’s words that kind of power. 

 

[Aine]

When my head starts to tell me why I should try to kill myself, then probably I shouldn't listen.

 

Nicotine in my body, whether it was when I was vaping and trying to decrease from whatever to 0 mg., or smoking three packs a day, works the same. Nicotine addiction demands being fed, and undergoing the constant withdrawal and craving cycle every time my nicotine level dropped was just hell. I vaped for about six months, and honestly, I can't tell you if that helped my quit or just delayed it. I smoked for 40 years and I just didn't know what to do with my hands. So I vaped to try to retrain that habit. That was my path, though. The cravings eventually went away after a few months of being completely free of nicotine in my body. As long as I was getting some kind of hit, though, it seemed like my brain was constantly battling with the pull.

 

Whatever works to get you to that point of no nicotine, then great. If you are still struggling, though, you might try something different. No offense meant here; just a suggestion. 

[Martian5]

Don't let other people get you down, you quit your way and if using NRT's help then so be it as long as you don't light up.  The addiction to cigarettes will always try to find a way back in -- just push it away and continue to march forward as you have the last couple of months --- this can be done and you are doing it, I can sense you really want this -- Keep Strong!!!!!

[Mona]

1 hour ago, Lilly said:

you're a fake quitter really. 

 

"Fake quitter"?  What is that?  I don't think there is such a thing.  You're either a quitter or you are not a quitter...

[Boo]

2 hours ago, Lilly said:

I had the guy at work who really brought me down telling me constantly how I hadn't really quit and it has just been brought up ever since. 

 

Ignore him.

 

2 hours ago, Lilly said:

My brain is telling me just smoke - you haven't really quit anyway.  What does it matter if you smoke - you're a fake quitter really. 

 

Ignore it.  The random thoughts generated by the drug addicted brain are not to be trusted.

 

2 hours ago, Lilly said:

My sense of pride was enormous

 

Focus on that.  You set a goal and accomplished something great for yourself.

 

Don't let yourself get distracted.  Drive on.

[Mee]

Remember Lilly, part of quitting is grieving the loss of the habit that was such a huge part of our life.  

Don't let others make you doubt your quit.  You are doing so well and should feel pride.

I am hoping you wake up with a new and encouraging attitude.  I know you can do this.  

So glad you are reaching out and letting us help you through these tough times.

 

[Sunshine59]

@Lilly ,

I keep this pic in my Facebook account to constantly remind of the difference between smoking and not smoking

 

 

[JB 883]

Something like this came up on another board I frequent. Here is the fact - even if you are using NRT, it is still better than smoking. Gums, patches, whatever... at least you are not roasting your lungs.

 

As far as the guy at work or anyone putting you down, ask this - are they doing you any favors? They are not living your life.

 

Even if you need NRT, just don't light up a smoke. I know from recent experience that it is not as pleasant as we imagine. I would also say if you DO smoke, maybe keep silent about it cause you know how people are, you screw up once and they act like you just personally handed Jared Fogel a license to run a day care.

 

Think about this too - when someone relapses back to a habit or lifestyle, people say "you can only blame yourself". OK so when you quit smoking and next when you quit NRT the credit is al yours

 

5 hours ago, Mona said:

"Fake quitter"?  What is that?  I don't think there is such a thing.  You're either a quitter or you are not a quitter...

 

Yeah there is such a thing. I work with some brain dead idiot who keeps saying h is going to find another job yet there he is three days a week walking around with his nose buried in his cell phone. He is a "fake quitter".

Now my nephew on the other hand, he has quit many jobs, had quit high school, quit trade school... he is a REAL quitter.

 

HUUUUUU HU HU HU HU HU

Edited May 4, 2019 by Jet Black
screwed up my spelling as always

[NADA]

12 minutes ago, Jet Black said:

I would also say if you DO smoke, maybe keep silent about it cause you know how people are, you screw up once and they act like you just personally handed Jared Fogel a license to run a day care.

 

That is one twisted way of dodging any accountability. Lie, hide it, and if it does come out say you are being treated like a pedophile. Bullsh@t.

 

How about saying I f’ed up, it was a stupid move, I take ownership, and because I learned from this, it’s never going to happen again? Refusing to acknowledge a relapse as more than a little slip is much more of a fake quit than using NRT in a structured and proven system.

[Sunshine59]

This 4 month gap from cigarettes is my 5th or 6th attempt .

 

It takes time to understand the triggers , control it and overcome it .

 

And it takes time to adjust a life without cigarettes

 

There was this one time i didn't tell anyone about my relapse  . I then smoked for a whole week with a lot of depression .It was a bit pathetic .

 

After that restarted again , Made a post here and have not touched a cigarette ever since .

 

I am sure you can come back after a relapse within a week normally .

 

Maybe it was this same downer feeling that led to that relapse .

 

Its so important to learn all the factors that led to that sort of relapse , Its also important to learn to adapt with the ups and downs of life without cigarettes .

 

My motto is simple , Even if i have a craving for cigarettes i am not going out and buying a cigarette ever again .

 

 

[Christian99]

I'm assuming that, like me, you choose to include NRT in your larger suite of tools to help you succeed in this crucial enterprise after carefully considering all the options available to you.  As such, you've made a fantastic, life-affirming choice, and I admire you for your decision.  Your quit is not only not "fake"; I'm happy to argue that since you catered your approach to your individual circumstances with an approach endorsed by addiction specialists, it very well could be superior and more authentic than those attempted by individuals who continue, irrationally, to fetishize the "cold turkey" quit. 

 

You are doing great, friend.  Keep it up--it will change your life.

 

Christian99

Nearing 17 1/2 Years Quit  

[Mee]

8 hours ago, Jet Black said:

Even if you need NRT, just don't light up a smoke. I know from recent experience that it is not as pleasant as we imagine. I would also say if you DO smoke, maybe keep silent about it cause you know how people are, you screw up once and they act like you just personally handed Jared Fogel a license to run a day care.

Jet Black, this thread is about Lilly feeling down and not about you relapsing.  

She is reaching out for support, not negativity.  It never does good to stay in a dark place.  Your relapse was in the past and now it is time to move forward.   

[WeegieWoman]

How you feeling today Lilly? 

That guy in work sounds like a plonker! 

 

 

 

 

 

[Ankush]

I hope you're feeling better today

[Lilly]

Thanks everyone for your posts.

 

I did read your messages today and i am glad to say my quit is still very safe.

 

Christian I found a lot of comfort in your post. It always used to be that quitting was about not smoking a cigarette but the goal posts seem to have been moved. Now it means being nicotine free from day 1 which is probably due to the teachings of Allen Carr and Joel.

 

Thanks again to you all x

 

 

 

 

[Martian5]

Glad you are doing better and that your quit is safe -- good for you -- Keep the quit going strong!!!!!

[jillar]

Yay Lilly, glad you got past that

[Lilly]

Thanks Martian x

 

I must confess I've never used the SOS system before because I always believed if you're planning on smoking an SOS post won't change that. Jillar is always so passionate about it that yesterday I posted here when I felt very shaky. I'll be honest I didn't hold out much hope of it helping but I did it for her really. 

 

If I hadn't posted I know I would have just let that thought grow and I would have been back to smoking. It worked for me so I would urge people to use the SOS system.  It really does stop you making a stupid choice. 

[jillar]

4 minutes ago, Lilly said:

 

If I hadn't posted I know I would have just let that thought grow and I would have been back to smoking. 

 

That's how the SOS works, by getting your thoughts to stop growing and your mind turned around to thoughts of keeping your quit, good job Lilly

[Doreensfree]

Good going Lilly ....

I've seen many a quit saved using the SOS....it really works ...post here as often as you need .....

[Tammy]

Hi there quitter (in a beautiful sense of the word of course)

You owe no explanation to anyone on the way you are working towards your quit Lilly.

 

You're a fighter and the battles that have gone are just notches on your belt, and boy are they piling up. Don't let anyone tell you what your quit is or isn't.

 

I do hope you are doing better, and more importantly acknowledging what a badass you are for fighting this fight. I know you are.