I have a confession

[laura]

I smoked yesterday.

 

I had a big argument with my 21 year old son, the sad thing is I over reacted and felt so bad but he said some things that were hurtful and I just lost myself.

 

I know you say to come on here for help but to be honest once having a ciggies was in my head I couldn't get it out.

 

so last night I sat and watched u tube videos of people dying of lung cancer and emphysema. I know a bit extreme but some of the stuff I watched was heart breaking for their family's and all for a fag how selfish.

[MarylandQuitter]

Yes, smoking is selfish, that's for certain.

 

We all lose ourselves from time-to-time and find ourselves in places that are very uncomfortable.  That will never change whether you smoke or not.  What what will change once you break the cycle of smoking/quitting/smoking/quitting, is that your self-confidence will soar and when you can tackle nicotine addiction, you can tackle anything in life without smoking.  Anything.  Bet you can't name one single thing that you can't get through without smoking because there are millions of others who have gone through anything you can imagine without ever smoking.

 

Have you watched any of the smoking documentaries or read through the newbie database?

 

You can break this vicious cycle and stay quit.  If a numbskull like me can quit, I'm positive that you can.  I am living proof that anybody can quit.  :)

[El Bandito]

Hi Laura

 

Sorry that you smoked.

 

It is none of my business - but it had nothing to do with your son - or your argument with him.

 

Your inner junkie might tell you that there is a connection - there isn't. Your inner junkie might even have set the argument up, or escalated it in order to convince you to smoke (my inner junkie is a sneaky little bar steward!)

 

You will argue with people again. You will get stressed again. You will get hurt again. These things will happen whether you stick a fag in your mouth or not.

 

There is absolutely no shame in relapse. It happens. You don't like it and I don't like it. 

 

You have come on here, 'fessed up. Respect to you for doing that.

 

Read, watch - commit to not smoking again.

 

Laura - you can absolutely do this. You have proven that to yourself already. Get right back on the train and QUIT.

 

We are all here for you  :friends:

[action]

Hi Laura,

 

I'm sorry that you smoked :(

 

The only thing I can come up with is that you still think that a cigarette has something to offer you - did it help at all, or make you feel worse?...

 

A non-smoker doesn't reach for a cigarette in such situations - that is where we (you and me and everyone here) needs to get to. 

 

Also, Stu's post was excellent, and I like the idea that you watched all of those videos on youtube... maybe save the ones that affected you the most, and ewatch them next time you get a crave?

[laura]

I always feel worse when i relapse i just can't deal with the debate situations in my hrad but i will learn to go for a run or something instead. I will watch scar tactics also

[Still winning]

Laura, I'm really sorry for you. Sucks to relapse.

 

The thing that stopped that cycle for me was education. Like you are doing I hit up the learning what smoking related illness looks like!!  I do not want my children to have to see that for me, or look after me!!  whyquit.com has some proper horror stories, early quit I read one a day, often breaking my heart crying as I did.  

 

I just believe I always had the will to quit, but not the knowledge to stay quit - you sound similar. I hope that helps you to know someone else has been where you are, close but not there - that's just my experience though, do what works for you. xx

[laura]

Thanks peeps - the story that has stuck for me is a 41 year old lady dying of lung cancer and she has a 9 year old daughter and a husband.

She went round schools showing kids the effects of smoking. So sad it really did effect me and I'm glad it did also have been over to why quit also this morning for daily quiting u tube videos.

[robf]

I see a lot of threads like this and the question I always have is "Where did you get the cigarette from?"

 

See, I have arguments and (even now) feel like a smoke afterwards, but for me to achieve that I would have to go out, walk / cycle / drive to a shop, buy cigarettes, matches / lighter, and then put the thing in my mouth and smoke it... By the time I'd even have got out of the door the realisation of what I was doing would have hit me and smoking simply wouldn't have happened.

 

I've said it before, I'll say it again, remove ALL smoking paraphernalia from your life, it's just silly not to.

 

 

...

 

Oh and... gee up, it's ok, quit again, don't worry, get back on the horse, it's just a stumble, we all make mistakes yada yada yada.

[Still winning]

This one I related too, 44 is close to my age and I can't begin to imagine http://whyquit.com/whyquit/A_Kim.html

 

I lay my determination for my quit at this lady's story though, wow. My actual age and she was gone, through smoking http://whyquit.com/whyquit/A_Deborah.html

[Nancy]

So sorry to hear that, Laura.  I agree 100% with what everyone else has said.  I'm not clear on something...did you smoke one cig and then quit again?  Or are you smoking and getting ready to quit again?  I know you can do this...get started on your forever quit!

[laura]

I smoked yesterday not touched any ciggies today, and don't want to I can't imagine having my daughter watch me get cancer or any other smoking related illness. Wake up call was what I needed.

 

I'm not sure how I start my quit but to be honest I'm not really about counting the days I have quit, I know how long i was in the nicotine prison 26 years.i will just rejoice that I am freeeee

[El Bandito]

Not One Puff Ever - Laura.

 

nothing more, nothing less.

 

Keep on keeping on!

[...]

Laura, I am so sorry to read this........

 

I am glad your here and not out there still puffing away. 

 

Look at those videos every day, every minute that you can.  They are real.  And we are not special.  That can happen to any one of us.  And it has.  Some of us have already died those horrible deaths.  And truth be told, there are some that will come on here and may still die like that.  Let's cut the risk in ourselves for this to happen.  You cut the risk of that happening for yourself. 

 

It happens every day.  Today, doctors will tell many people that they have cancer.  Just today, think about all the hospitals out there, all the doctors and how many people will get told TODAY that they are going to die.  And tomorrow, the cycle repeats itself.  It's sad.  But it IS true. 

 

I don't ever want that day to come for you.  Please quit.  You can do this. 

[robf]

I'm not sure how I start my quit

Remove ALL smoking paraphernalia from your life, throw out lighters, cigarettes, ashtrays, etc etc. Empty ashtrays in your car, clean your car, get some shake and vac and put the freshness back (do the shake and put the freshness back, if your carpet smells fresh your room does too, all you have to do is remember what to do... etc). Empty any smoking bins you had, sweep up any cigarette butts there might be near you.

 

Do it now. Don't complain.

 

And your "Emergency pack"... Throw it out.

 

And that bit of weed... give it to a hippy friend.

 

If you desperately want to smoke again you have made it difficult to do so.

[JackiMac]

Hi Laura lots of good advice already above for you, but please as Rob said remove all smoking nasties from your house, if I get a really bad craving thought in my head, I have nothing here no emergency pack, no lighters etc, my son smokes but I just sit and relax and realise its just a thought in my head, Im not going to feed it or help it to grow bigger, its difficult..........yes, it makes me uncomfortable.............sometimes........but its just a thought DO NOT ALLOW IT TO GROW, and repeat after me NOPE............and breath and again NOPE ..............

[Holski]

I'm sorry you relapsed.

Let's not smoke anymore OK?!

No excuses!!

None!

:)

My addicted brain waits for an excuse and jumps on it.

I am not falling for that crap anymore.

 

You don't fall for that crap anymore either, K?

[comrade simba]

I have seen me get bent out of shape over something and immediately think "smoke time!" Yeah, a rage will eventually get me so it is real obvious what the choice is - chill out and let whatever is chapping my ass slide by or smoke.

 

It is ridiculous to let a crisis that will pass trump loosing a quit and smoking just long enough... to kill you.

That's my methodology. YMMV

[laura]

Thanks for all the advice I'm back on track and feeling of.

 

Went yoga today also I took some advice from this site and brought a book the chimp paradox so looking forward to getting into that.

 

I have been a little irritable but that's to b expected I guess but not craved a ciggy at all so guess the utube videos have done the trick.