Help please

[DizzyD]

Ok. So hubby and I quit together. I always feel like the real addict and struggle day to day whereas he can go for days without a smoke until alcohol or stress hit. At the mo, we are on holiday and twice I have stopped him from buying them. Tonight he’s just gone to buy some. So not sure how long he’ll be and how strong I can be after a couple of wines so I’m hoping someone is there right now. 

Edited April 24, 2019 by DizzyD

[DizzyD]

Ok so have pulled my big girlie panties up and am going to bed. Sorry to bug you all but am determined to protect this quit. Night !!

 

[despair not]

Hi Dizzy

 

You cant make your husband do anything it cant be your responsibility to keep his quit for him.

 

It is your responsibility to keep your quit so stay strong.

 

If your vulnerable when drinking do as I did and quit for a while till your quit gets stronger.

Hi

 

Just seen your update good move stay strong and show him some tuff love.

[MarylandQuitter]

It sounds like the only uncertainty that you have is giving in after some wine.  Don't drink the wine.  Perhaps tonight the wine can wait because remaining a non-smoker is far more important.  No comparison, actually.

 

I hope you went to sleep and will wake up still smoke-free. 

[Reciprocity]

I agree with both despair not and MQ. This is YOUR quit dizzy. You can't be responsible for hubby's quit too. Stay away from the wine for sure if that's going to be a trigger because your judgement will also likely not be at it's best after a couple of drinks. I'm glad you decided to take charge of the situation and protect your quit. You've worked to hard to let it go over a couple of drinks. Stay strong and let us know how you're doing later on please.

[Lilly]

Dizzy I'm sorry to see you're struggling. 

 

You need to do what you are doing and protect your own quit. It does sound a little like you are trying to pin the blame for any failures on hubby. If he buys cigarettes that's his choice but it doesn't have to be yours. 

 

Being on holiday is bound to be a trigger but if you can get through without smoking you will have beaten the trigger. 

 

Stop looking for excuses to smoke and look for reasons to stay quit.

[jillar]

Hi dizzyD, great job protecting your quit and going to bed. There were many nights I did the same and in the morning was so glad my quit was intact.

Please check in and let us know how you are...xoxo

[Martian5]

Hey Dizzy, glad you posted.  As others have said this is your quit, yes it can add to the struggle if your significant other will revert to having a smoke but you can remain strong and keep your quit and maybe be a beacon to your husband.  You can do this and hopefully a night of sleep will help -- Keep Strong!!!

[Doreensfree]

Hi D !!!....

I can only mirror what's been said ....you are only responsible for your own quit ....

You must protect your precious quit ,its your life...

If you think alcohol will make you weaker ,then yes stay clear ...

How awful you will feel if you find yourself back to square one ...

Remember all the reasons ,you wanted to quit in the first place ....yoiu can do it. !!!

[DizzyD]

Morning, so didn’t wait for him to get back and went to sleep.  So the funny story is it took him ages to find somewhere that sold cigs and then they didn’t sell a lighter so he couldn’t have one anyway!!!

Thanks for all the advice.

Nope!

Edited April 24, 2019 by DizzyD

[MarylandQuitter]

HA!  That's great news!

[Doreensfree]

I hope this has given him time ...to think ..and also glad he saved his fabulous quit ...

Maybe get him to read some quit train stuff....or jump on ...in a secret name to you ...what fun that would be !!!

[jillar]

Yay for both of you dizzyD  

[johnny5]

Awesome news for both of you, Dizzy.  I'm glad you posted where when you were struggling.  Do whatever you need to do to protect your quit.